Title:           Best Petshop in Town
Author:          Ginger_Fig
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/5jysqe6T
First Edit:      Friday 29th of June 2012 10:18:03 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 29th of June 2012 10:18:03 PM CDT

1/7
>Lots of pet shops sell fluffy ponies.
>Nobody sells as many as you do.
>You are the #1 fluffy pony dealer in the city.
>Other pet shops envy your success.
>They buy from the same breeders you do.
>They feed fluffies the same chow you do.
>They advertize more than you do.
>So why don't their fluffies sell like yours?
 
>Get to work early.
>7am...two hours before the doors open.
>Bang on fluffy pony cages.
"TIME TO GET UP!"
>Whimpering and crying.
>Fluffy ponies do not like to get up early.
>The new ones complain.
>"Why awake?" "Fwuffy wan' sweepies!"
>The fluffies that have been here a while just cower and sob.
>Another day of fear, pain & misery.
 
>Exercise time first.
>This weeds out the sick ones.
>You take your fluffy inventory out back.
>There's a concrete oval track for them to run.
>And they better run or else.
>Force the crying fluffies to run for 30 minutes.
>That's like a marathon in fluffy terms.
>If one stops, it gets a prod with the shock stick.
>Yelping & squealing, it catches up.
>A few just can't do it.
>Pull them out of the ring.
>Set them aside for a medical exam.
 
2/7
>Exercise time is over.
>Fluffy ponies collapse, exhausted.
>10 minutes to rest, then breakfast.
>Grass clippings & fluffy chow.
>The fluffies who couldn't run cry and beg for food.
>"Pwease nummies!" "Fwuffy hungwy!"
>Maybe after their exam.
>You aren't going to waste food on a sick fluffy.
 
>There's three big pens in your store.
>After they've eaten, fluffy ponies get herded into here.
>Males...females...and untrained.
>All fluffy ponies that haven't learned to use the litterbox go here.
>You spend most of the morning working with these.
>They just ate though...won't need to poop for a while.
>Time to do medical exams.
>5 fluffies couldn't make their run this morning.
>Check them each out.
>Tongue depressor...ear swab...light in the eyes.
>Of course, thermometer up da butt.
>Terrified fluffies cry and sob through exams.
>Three seem okay...just colds.
>Toss them back in their cages with a bowl of fluffy chow & vitamins.
>The remaining two have respiratory infections.
>Easily cured, for the right money.
>More than you get for a fluffy pony.
>Not cost effective.
>They're going out with the trash.
>The two unfortunates see the others getting fed.
>"Pwease can nummies now?" "Fwuffy so hungwy!"
>You're used to ignoring their cries by now.
>Leave them in the sink.
>They scramble against the sides, but can't escape.
 
3/7
>The untrained fluffies are due to poop soon.
>You've got this down to a science.
>Pick up the sorry stick.
>Crack it against the side of the pen.
>Noise is terrifying...hell, even a human would be terrified.
>Fluffy ponies squeal and huddle in a corner, hugging.
"See that?"
>Point to litter box.
"That is where you poop! Any fluffy that shits outside the box gets punished!"
>Fluffies whimper and cry...holding their poop in fear.
>Finally, one can't hold it.
>See him nervously waddle to litterbox.
>Watching you in terror the whole time.
>He unloads...then dashes back to the terrified group.
"Good!"
>Give that fluffy a scratch behind the ears.
>The others are relieved; now they relieve themselves.
>Good...good...all in the litterbox.
>Nope, one still doesn't get it.
>A purple unicorn squats down in the wrong corner.
>Drops a steaming load.
>Alright...example time.
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?"
>Fluffy ponies squeal and run aimlessly.
>Snatch up offending purple unicorn.
>She screams...little legs thrash.
>"Fwuffy sowwee! Nu huwt fwuffy!"
>Bury her face in the pile of shit.
>Fluffy pony gags and throws up her breakfast.
>Pin her down there...sorry stick time.
>25 hard lashes to the ass.
>Never let fluffy lift her face out of the poop & vomit.
 
4/7
>Finish off with a long electric shock to her tender butthole.
>Finally release crying fluffy.
>She's sobbing hysterically...can't speak.
"Now you fluffies get her cleaned up!"
>Fluffy ponies took scared and confused.
"I SAID clean her up!"
>Crack sorry stick against pen again.
>Terrified fluffies rush to do your command.
>"How cwean fwuffy?" "Dun know how do!" they cry.
"Use your tongues, stupids!"
>"Ewww!" "Nu smewl pwetty!" "Pwease, fwuffy nu wan' do!"
>Crack the sorry stick on their pen again.
>Crying fluffies lick poop and vomit off the purple unicorn.
>Now ALL of them will remember.
>Two more days & you'll consider this group trained.
 
>One hour until opening.
>Leave fluffy ponies alone...attend to other animals.
>Jeeze they're easy to take care of.
>Cats, dogs, birds, hamsters, reptiles.
>None of them are as much works as fluffy ponies.
>Monkeys are...but you don't sell them.
 
>Hear the garbage truck coming.
>Drag the cans outside.
>Trash...paper...recyclables.
>Last, those two sick fluffy ponies.
>Garbage man prefers that you separate out animal waste.
>They see garbage truck and squeal in horror.
>"Whhhaaahh! Dun gif fwuffy to munsta!"
>They cry and tug at your shirt.
"Mornin' Tom."
>"Mornin' Anon...just two today?"
"Eeyup."
>Garbage man grabs two screaming fluffies with heavy gloves.
>Tosses them in a special can.
>"Bwwwaaaahhh!" "Scawy pwace!" "Pwease save fwuffy!"
>Roadkill & other dead animals go there.
>Garbage truck drives off.
 
5/7
>Check on the three fluffies with colds.
>Two ate all their chow and vitamins.
>One left the vitamins.
>Bang his cage.
"Finish those...now."
>"Nu wan'! Vitamims yucky!"
>Not going to argue with a fluffy pony.
>Yank him out of his cage.
>Fluffy pony squeals in fear.
>Fluffy vitamins work equally well as suppositories.
>Pry open fluffy butthole with 2 fingers.
>All the resistance of warm jello.
>Shove pills up rectum.
>Put crying fluffy back in his cage.
 
>Almost time to open up.
>Check all three pens.
>Good...no more poop incidents.
>Empty out bucket of toys.
>One happy colt sees what he likes.
>"Bawl!" Colt runs for ball.
>Other fluffies bite him, yank him back.
>These toys are for sale...not play.
>You just put them in there so customers remember to buy some.
>They're not for fluffy ponies to chew up and ruin.
>Fluffies are not allowed to touch the toys.
>If one does...none get dinner tonight.
>Fluffies are surprisingly good enforcers when threatened with a night of hunger.
 
>9am...the doors open.
>Customers can see happy fluffies playing at any pet store.
>At your shop, the fluffy ponies press themselves against the side of the pen.
>Standing on two legs, they whimper to humans.
>Gaze up with big wet eyes.
 
6/7
>A customer picks up a yellow pegasus.
>"Pwease take fwuffy! Gif fwuffy new home!"
>Tears glisten in big fluffy pony eyes.
>"Awww, you're cute, but I don't know..."
>Fluffy can see its chance slipping away.
>It knows what will happen if it fails to seal the deal.
>"Nuuu! Dun weave fwuffy! Fwuffy wuv new daddee! Pwease can come wif!"
>Fluffy struggles to hug customer...doesn't let go.
>Crying real, genuine tears.
>"Fwuffy wuv daddee! Pwease nu weave fwuffy!"
>"Oh...okay. You can come home with me."
>"Yay! Wuv new daddee!"
>You scowl at fluffy...he forgot something.
>Terrified fluffy gets the message, remembers.
>"Fwuffy can bwing bawl? Fwuffy wuv bawl!."
>"Yes, you can bring your favorite ball."
>Sell 1 fluffy pony & 1 overpriced ball.  Good fluffy.
 
>Not every fluffy pony is successful.
>"Pwease nu weave fwuffy did pwace. Fwuffy wuv daddee!"
>"No, sorry...I can't have pets in my building."
>Customer puts green earth fluffy down.
>Crying fluffy tries to cling to his arm.
>Customer leaves anyway.
"Not good, fluffy."
>Fluffy pony cries frantically.
>"Fwuffy twy hawd! Fwuffy say wowds! Fwuffy say wuv daddee!"
"But you still failed."
>There has to be consequences for failure.
>Fluffy gets multiple shocks from the shock prod.
>Nose and tender butthole get zapped.
>After 15 or so shocks, you figure he's learned his lesson.
>The other fluffies have learned by example.
 
7/7
>5pm. End of business.
>34 fluffy ponies sold today.
>Plus toys, cages, litterboxes and sorry sticks.
>Other petshops wish they had your sales.
>Herd the fluffy ponies to the back room.
>Lock them in their cages.
>Feed them.
>Just before turning off the lights, yell at them.
"Nobody wanted you fluffies today!"
"None of you got homes!"
"Why is that?"
>Fluffy ponies cry and whimper.
"SAY IT!"
>"Fwuffies nu good. Fwuffies no twy hawd enuff."
"Right. Try harder tomorrow."
>Turn out lights...hear fluffies crying as you leave.
>Drive home in your Porsche.
>Go for a dip in your pool.
>Smokin' hot wife makes excellent dinner.
>Drink single malt scotch & smoke Dominican cigar.
>Other pet store owners wish they knew your secret.