Shining Armor Hates Anon (Cadence/Anon) - Chapter One

>Somewhere, there is a clock ticking.  Flush with rich mahogany, she ticks, ever facing forward.  She is an usual time piece, certainly for the era in which she was built.  The analog face ticks the hours, minutes and seconds, while four smaller faces keep track of the days, weeks, months and years.

>Each tick marks a moment in time that can never be recovered.  For she is not keeping track of the passage of moments, but instead counting them down.

>Even now, her time grows short, but the clock keeps her steady, plodding pace.  The end is in sight, but she is in no hurry.

>No longer any years left,

>Only one month,

>One week,

>Four days,

>Two hours,

>Thirty-eight minutes,

>And nineteen seconds.

>And though you’ve been face to face with her for some time now, she refuses to reveal her secrets.  Only the tell-tale ticking through space.

>Fifteen seconds now.

>Same as it ever was.

“Ah, forget it!”

>Throwing your hands up into the air, you allow your mind to clear, the clock pulling away from you, moving faster the further she goes.  Soon little more than a brilliant star in a vacant sky, her face reflecting an unseen light.  And then, nothing.

>

>Your vision clears as you snap back to reality.  Well, what passes for reality these days.

>The barracks are comfortable at least.  You share this room with five other guards and have never had any trouble with issues of space.  Despite your differences, they have gone to great lengths to see to your comfort, easing the difficulties of your transition.

>Pulling on your gear, you exit the barracks only to hear someone call out to you.

>“Hey!  Anonymous!”

 

>Turning, you offer a brief salute and smile.  Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard and one of the most amiable get-alongest people you’d had the pleasure of meeting.  The fact that he was a talking pony took some getting used to, but after three months here it was easy to slip into conversation with him as another intelligent being.

“Captain, a pleasure to see you again.  What brings you down from the castle?”

>The Captain mimics your motion as best he can, considering his hooves.  His greeting falls and yours does the same soon after.

>“I’m here to inform the city officers of a meeting up at the castle today.  It’s good to see you well, but I was wondering if you would be willing to see to a, personal matter of mine while I’m indisposed.”

“Of course, I would be more than happy to assist.  What is it you need done?”

>Giving you a sheepish grin, he chuckles.

>“I’ve been informed that I’ll be in charge of our defenses until this latest threat passes.  Unfortunately, I have a rather important guest coming to stay in the castle for a time.  She is arriving today and I would like to have guards there to meet her.  Since I can’t go myself, I thought you would be an excellent choice.”

“I’m honored you think so Captain.”

>“You have a knack for putting others at ease, and during these turbulent times that is an important skill to have.  Will you see to her safety?”

“Gladly.  What is your guest’s name?”

>“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”

“P-pardon?  A Princess?  Captain, I hardly think that I’m qualified to see to the safety”

>“Don’t worry about it!”

>Shining’s air of formality drops the instant you accepted his request.  He’s giving you a wide smile now.

 

>“She’s no trouble at all.  Just make sure she arrives safe and sound in Canterlot.”

>“The Princess should be entering Equestria by coach in a few hours.  I’ve sent some other city guardponies to meet you down at the Canterlot station.  Take a train out to Galloping Greens and pick her up there.”

“Of course, Captain.  Thank you.”

>“No, Anonymous, thank you.  I know you have this well in hoof.  Or should I say hand?”

“Sir.”

>Offering a curt nod, and another smile, Shining Armor trots back towards Canterlot Castle, tri-color tail swishing in the process.  You place a hand over the snare drum in your chest.

>Escorting a princess.  More than that, overseeing the escort of a princess.  You were just a grunt!

>Granted, most of the City Guard were grunts, and any weapons and armor were more show than substance.  So perhaps it wasn’t that unusual to send a guard out on protection detail.  Surely they could spare one officer to see to the safety of visiting royalty though.

“This isn’t getting me anywhere.  The Captain trusts me with this, so there must be a reason.”

>Solidifying your resolve, you adjust your gear, shoulder your spear and make your way down to the station.

>

>The city of Canterlot reeks of majesty, wealth, and pomp.  Built into the side of a mountain, the ramparts have a beautiful view of the setting sun each evening, said to rival that of Cloudsdale.  The wealthy and elite of Equestria make this place their home.  You’ve noticed that most of the ponies falling into that category are unicorns.

 

>You wave at a few familiar faces and do your best to shrug off the stares you’re still getting from the rest.  It’s not like they haven’t seen you before, you’ve been patrolling the streets for a couple months now.  At first you could write it off as curiosity, but you’re beginning to get the feeling that whenever you walk down the street, they think the circus has come to town and you’re the main attraction in the freak-show tent.

>As you approach the train station, a sharp clear voice calls over the din of hoof beats and conversation.

>“Two-Legs!”

“Glory!”

>Holding his head high, Glory Road snorts and grins, stamping his hoof a few times.  A white earth pony with a flaming red mane, he’s prone to stand out in any crowd, though not always for his rouge locks.  You grip your spear and hustle over to him.

>“It’s about time.  If the Lieutenant was here, he’d switch you until you cried!”

>You nod a little, taking a few seconds to catch your breath.  Glory continues on.

>“Speaking of, did you pass him on your way down?  We’re eager to get going.”

“Actually, I’ll be heading this mission.”

>Pausing for a few seconds, Glory bursts into a fit of laughter. He’s a nice enough pony, but his laugh sounds like something coming out of an aging parakeet.

>“Haa, haa, haakkk, oh Anon, you card.  Now, who’s running this show?”

“According to Captain Shining Armor, I am.”

>The guardsponies perk up a little at that.  Glory fumbles for a moment, gathering his wits.

>“Well, lets not be questioning the Captain then.  What are our orders, Two-Legs?”

“We’re meeting a Veep down at Galloping Greens.”

>“Who’s the pony?”

“A Princess, so it’d probably be good to get there before her, you think?”

 

>The other two ponies throw themselves through the doors of the train, while Glory’s all smiles.

>“Must be a pretty big deal to send the town guard out to see to the arrival of a Princess, did the Captain give any reason why?”

“He said something about a threat, but didn’t go into too much detail about it.  All I really know is that he’s going to be overseeing the defenses, and needs to meet with all the officers, Royal and City, immediately.”

>The white pony nods and trots alongside you as you walk to the train.

>“The Royal Guard must have their hands full then.  Still, sounds like you’ve managed to earn the favor of the castle’s Guard Captain.  Not bad for a few weeks on the job!”

>Slugging you in the arm, you share a laugh as the train begins to roll away from the station, chugging down the tracks.

“I’ll say, I was stunned when he asked me.  About how long is it to Galloping Greens?”

>“Two or three hours, give or take.  We’ve got the hill on our side, so we might get up to quite a clip.”

>Nodding, you settle in on one of the seats, looking out the window.

“Glory.”

>“Mm?”

“Maybe you can help me figure this out.  Who, or what, would threaten Equestria?  Near as I can tell, this place is a paradise.  It just seems impossible for anything to want to put a stop to this, beauty.”

>The stallion sighs and lays down across from you, lifting his head to watch the scenery pass by.

>“You really haven’t been here too long I guess, but there’s lots of things out there that feel the world would be better served without Celestia as the guiding light.”

 

>“First Nightmare Moon reappears and then Discord, it really seems like the world is changing for the worse.”

>You nod mutely.  Your arrival was several months after Discord’s second banishment, but the tension visible in every pony whenever he was mentioned couldn’t be overlooked.

>“I’d hate to think what else could be out there.  Maybe a diplomatic conflict with the Diamond Dogs or the Griffons, or even the Dragons could put Canterlot on high alert.  But with every member of the Royal Guard and the Officers of the City Guard meeting together, I get the feeling that something even bigger is coming down the pipes.”

“What could be worse than Dragons?”

>Glory turns towards you and shrugs.

>“Who can say, maybe a spaghetti monster?

>You share a laugh at that, his cawing bringing a twitch to your eye despite the smile.  Silence lingers between you for the rest of the trip, leaving you time to your thoughts.  Mountains give way to hills, hills to forest and forest to lush green plains.

>“Last stop, Galloping Greens!”

>The conductor’s roar snaps you out of your reverie, and the four of you disembark while she turns gets the train turned around.

>Galloping Greens is a small, unassuming village on the northern edge of Equestria.  The major industry appears to be farming, though you do notice a few unicorn run businesses down the dirt road serving as Main Street.  Cloud homes linger in the sky, suggesting a decent population of pegasi.

>“It’s, quaint.”

>You nod at the unicorn guard under your command.  Several ponies take notice of you, but they seem much kinder than the looks you get in Canterlot.

 

“Not a bad place at all.  All right, let’s set up a post on the road, we’ll await the Princess’ arrival there.”

>The three guards give affirmative grunts and head over to stand on the side of the worn dirt path.  It couldn’t be that long of a wait, right?

>

>Oh, but it really could.  By the end of the first hour, you were drenched under your armored leather tunic.  By the end of the second, you could see the ponies beginning to feel it too.

>“Celestia’s horn, how long’ve we been waiting?”

 >You give Glory a pat on the shoulder.  You know exactly how long it’s been, that clock keeps ticking away in the back of your mind, it always has.  Pretty handy trick to know exactly how long you’ve been somewhere, but it never won you any bar bets.

>“I think the better question is how long do we still have to go?”

>The pegasus of your group grumbles and continues watching the road ahead.

“Why don’t you fly up and get us an aerial view?  Then we can at least see if she’s coming.”

>He grins, and takes off in a mottled brown and black blur, glad for the chance to stretch his wings, no doubt.  Glory and the unicorn look like they’re about to take a nap on their feet, which leaves you and absentee pegasus to watch the road ahead.

>Ah, scratch that, you spot the pegasus’ black tail hanging out on the edge of the only cloud in the sky.  There’s a reason that guardsponies for the city didn’t make it into the Royal Guard, not stiff enough, not dedicated, lacking.  But, they were your team, at least for the time being.

>Sighing, you set your gaze ahead, and wait.

 

>Three hours, eight minutes and twenty, five seconds into your wait, you see a cloud of dust rumbling up down the road.  Snapping your spear up to your shoulder, you call out to the others.

“Heads up, somepony’s headed down the road!”

>The pegasus nearly falls off his cloud, the unicorn glancing around sheepishly, wondering if anyone had seen his little snoozefest.  Glory makes no move to hide his actions, giving an enormous yawn and squinting up at the sun.

>“Ah, it’s about time.  I’m ready to get back to the cobbled streets of Canterlot.  How can anypony stand all this dirt, grit and rock on their hooves?”

“What do you see up there?”

>“It’s a carriage all right, but there’s nothing pulling it.”

>“Sounds like magic to me.”

>You nod with the unicorn’s assessment, though a still has settled over the hovering pegasus.

“Something else catch your attention?”

>“You could say that.  It looks like she’s already got an escort of pegasi.”

>You squint down the road, trying to get a better look for yourself.  The Captain didn’t say anything about there being a second escort, but then again she is a pony princess, so should you really be surprised?  Glory stomps his hooves a few times, snorting.

>“Well then I don’t know what we’re doing here.  If she’s got her own escort then why can’t they take her to Canterlot?”

>The carriage comes into view, and you notice that the pegasi flying alongside seem much more intent with bowling the carriage over than supporting it.  Turning to your unicorn companion, you smile.

“Guardspony.”

>“Yes sir?”

“Can you project a wall on either side of the carriage?  Just enough to knock those pegasi off her for a few seconds.”

 

>“I, I suppose I could, but won’t that cause issues with the escorting troop?”

>Smiling, you dig the butt of your spear into the dirt and watch the carriage come closer.

“If it does, then I’ll take all the blame.  But I’ve got a feeling that things aren’t exactly as they seem.  Just wait for my signal.”

>The beating of wings let you know that the pegasus guard was at the ready.  Glory even grins a little as he stands abreast of you, smiling a little.  The four of you watch as the carriage rolls closer, and you note that it’s wobbling from side to side.  The pegasi are buzzing the coach and bucking it as they pass.

>“Certainly seems like this is a little more than a pick-up, don’t you think, Two-Legs?”

“So it does.  Put up the wall, just a little ways in front of the carriage.”

>The unicorn grits his teeth and forms an artful gateway in front of the oncoming vehicle.  You hear screams from the pegasi and muffled thumps as they slam into the not-quite-real walls, and watch as wood splinters off from the coach as it scrapes along the stone.

>The projection fades and the unicorn crumples to the ground with a grunt.  You’re going to need to ask for a unicorn better equipped to handle the strain of magic next time.

>The coach slows to a stop as it approaches.  The door swing open and the Princess hurries out.  She is harried, her mane in disarray, wide eyed and terrified.

>And she is stunning.

>It’s been a few months since your arrival.  In one of your four meetings with Equestrian Royalty, Celestia has made it abundantly clear that you should plan on getting comfortable.  You’ve made several friends in Canterlot and have even tried courting a few of the mares that would have you.

 

>But this mare, this pony princess has struck you dumb.  Her hair, a tri-color affair of deep purple, a lush, faded red, and a perfectly pale platinum slung about by the frantic jerking of her head, begins to settle.  She fixes you with those stormy-purple eyes and trots closer, oozing femininity from something as obvious as the color of her overly pink coat.

>You take a few seconds to pick your jaw up off the ground.

>“Excuse me.  Where is Shining Armor?”

“He couldn’t make it.”

>The words sound foreign and throat-gaggingly fat coming out of your mouth.  Your tongue feels too large and your palms about to break out into a clammy sweat.  The princess gives a quiet sigh, glancing back at the pegasi, who are beginning to right themselves.

>“I see.  I’m sure that he has a reason.  Shall we go before my assailants cause more trouble?”

“O-of course.  Glory and I will take the rear so you two escort the Princess onto the train.”

>The pegasus and unicorn nod, the latter stumbling to his feet and making unsteady steps alongside Princess Mi Amore Cadenza’s precise motions.  Glory’s chuckle snaps you back to reality.

>“A little heart-struck there, Two-Legs?”

“Cut that out!”

>The white stallion laughs and shakes his head as he stares at the oncoming pegasi.

>“Fair enough.  You know, I would have been much more comfortable escorting the Princess onto the train.”

“But then who would help me beat these fools?”

>“Too true.  I may as well enjoy this.”

>As the first pegasus approaches, Guardspony Road turns on a bit and bucks.  A resounding crack echoes across the flatlands as a soon to be black-and-blue attacker goes crashing to the ground.

 

>Glory cackles and charges headlong into the flock, his spear forgotten.  While most are contending with the earth pony, several begin buzzing around you in a circle.  You clutch your spear and lash out when you feel you can hit.

>You manage a few nicks and cuts, but it doesn’t seem to phase the pegasi.  Despite the spear being standard issue, it doesn’t seem to be very useful against flying opponents as they can simply ascend or descend out of the way.  Of course, it’s a little late to be finding that out when you’re surrounded by irritated ponies who look like they’re ready to crack your skull in.

>A quick glance back shows that the rest of your team has gotten the Princess on board the train.  Your delay, however small it may have been, was a success.

>A flurry of hooves falls across your head and upper body, the flying ponies taking advantage of your distracted state to score several hits and send you to the ground.

>Straddling your chest, one sneers down at you and puts her muzzle close to your face.  She gives an unearthly screech.  Still clutching your spear, you lash out towards her.

>The snapping of wood against bone seems even louder than the roar of Glory as he bounds through the flock towards you.  The pegasus you clocked stumbles a few steps, then collapses, the bottom half of your now broken spear resting in your hand.

>“Come on get to your feet now, Two-Legs.  No time to dally!”

>He opens a hole for you in the ring of fliers.  Propelled by adrenaline, you rush after him, taking several swings with your stick at your pursuers, making far more connections than you did jabbing out at them.

 

>The train’s whistle breaks through the din, wheels beginning to turn as it begins to leave the station.  Glory buckles down and makes it to the landing before glancing towards you.

>Your legs and lungs burn, but you push yourself faster regardless.  Extending your hand to the train, you grope for a handhold and find one, yanking yourself through the open door.

>Collapsing in a pile of arms and legs, you wheeze a sigh of relief, noting how tender your face and shoulders feel.  You’re going to need to get checked out by a doctor when you get back to Canterlot.

>“Not a terrible screw-up, eh Anonymous?  We got the mare and every one of us lives to tell the tale!”

“I swear I am going to punch you so hard, Glory.”

>“Work me over like those pegasi, hmm?  You certainly did a number on them.  Oh wait, that was me.  You were the one eating dirt while I was providing them samples from my personal stock of Flank-Beater.”

“Prick.”

>You chuckle as you climb to your feet and give yourself a once over.  No tears in the armor, cuts or scrapes, but you’ll probably get a few bruises from the bucks you received.

>“Pardon me.”

>Ah, the regal beauty.  You smile a little and walk up to her, bowing your head a little.

“Of course Princess, I am Guardspony Anonymous, at your service.”

>“Guardspony?  Hardly.”

>There is a huff of indignation in her voice, as if she were offended by your introduction.

“I’m sorry, what seems to be the problem?”

>“This is, without a doubt, the shoddiest escort that I’ve ever seen!”

>Ouch.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Princess, but the important thing”

 

>“Oh yes, I will arrive safely in Canterlot, that’s all that matters, right?  Ooh, that sounds just like something he would say!”

>Scowling, she turns and storms up to the next car, casting a glare over her shoulder before she slams the door.

>“If you value your position, I would advise against disturbing me until we arrive at Canterlot.”

>As the sound of the banging door recedes, you hear snickers coming from the rest of your team.  Glory trots up beside you and places a hoof on your back.

>“My goodness I knew you had a way with the mares, Two-Legs.  But, keep your head up.  I’m certain that it was nothing you did, aside from being her worst escort ever.”

>More muffled laughter.  You feel color rushing to your face as you take a few steps forward to clear your head.

“Fair enough, it was pretty awful.”

>The guardsponies smile and nod.

“So, let’s honor her request for the time being and leave her alone.  More importantly, what was going on with those pegasi?  Why would Cloudsdale or any pegasi outpost want to attack a member of the Royal Family?”

>Silence fills the car, the pegasus shrugging and the unicorn shaking his head.  Glory, however, appears to be deep in thought.  He notices you staring and smiles.

>“If it were only a few, I’d say we were dealing with a population of Ferals, ponies who were exiled from their homes for their crimes and regressed to a wild state to survive.  But there were nearly two-dozen pegasi there.  I doubt there are that many criminal ponies in all of Equestria.  And the way they operated, they knew exactly what they were doing.”

“I’ll discuss it with the Captain when I see him.”

 

>“I would appreciate that, Anonymous.  I must say I’m certainly not comfortable thinking that a horde of wild ponies have their eyes set on taking Canterlot.”

>You give a brief nod and the conversation drops off.  In a short while, the exhausted unicorn has collapsed on one of the benches to recover.  The pegasus moved on to the lunch car, leaving you alone with Glory.

>“If I may, Two-Legs?”

“Mm?”

>“The Princess seems out of sorts.  Perhaps now would be a good time to find out what the problem is?”

“I don’t think I want anything to do with her, Glory.  And she certainly doesn’t want anything to do with me, you heard her yourself.”

>“I know you know better than that.  Every mare you’ve courted so far has taken to hounding me when I’m on patrol about when you’re getting back in touch with them.  You’ve got quite the supple touch, and I believe she could benefit from that right now.”

>Sighing, you press your lips together and eye up the stallion.  He gives you his best smile and tilts his head towards the door the Princess left through earlier.

>“Go on.”

>You really shouldn’t be doing this.  Knocking firmly on the door, you stand at attention, waiting for her reply.

>“Who is it?”

>Though her voice sounds distant, some of the edge has left it, a sweeter tone drifting in.

“Guardspony Anonymous, Princess.”

>“Oh.”

>The ticking counts forty-one seconds before she speaks again.

>“You’re still out there, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Princess.”

>You hear a grunt and a sigh.

“All right.  You may enter.”

>With a nod, you glance back to give Glory a smile and open the door, stepping into the Princess’ car.