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Sex ed. time

By: FunnyValMothpone on Jan 11th, 2014 | syntax: None | size: 7.55 KB | hits: 57 | expires: Never

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>Day you’ve got to do some shit about Dandelion in Equestria
>she’s been hanging around you a lot and you have started to worry about her obliviousness to the opposite sex
>so you have decided to give her sex ed
>goodbye, Dandelions sweet fillyhood, but it must be done or else you fear you might end up in jail someday
>it has started to react slightly to her
>the beast must be stopped before it awakens
“What were you going to teach to Dandelion Anon?”
>Dandelion is currently sitting down on a small chair as you put the projector on and plug your laptop into it
>”Dandelion, due to certain circumstances, I’m going to give you sexual education”
>Dandelion blushes and brings her hoof coyly to her cheeks
“Oh Anon, this is too sudden”
>you facepalm
>”No Dandelion not like that, get your mind out of the gutter young lady!”
>Dandelion settles down as you clear your throat
>”Now, I am going to teach you about the art of fornication. As you know, there are males and then there are females, and in some cases males trying to be females or females trying to be males but that’s beside the point”
>Dandelion gives you a little nod and you bring up your first picture
>a basic textbook picture of a naked man and a naked woman, nothing too extreme, just simply drawn
>Dandelion raises her hoof and you sweat
>let the awkwardness begin, you can already imagine the questions she has
“That’s not a pony penis”
>... wut
>”Ummm... that’s beside the point in here”
>but Dandelion won’t have any of it
“Shouldn’t Dandelion learn about her own species?”
>”No, sex is the same with all”
>Dandelion tilts her head to the side
“It is?”
>...dammit she has a point
>sadly you do not have any pony cock on your computer, what to do
>you bring up Google to the screen and go to search for pictures
>with shaky hands you write in pony penis and hope for the best
>just as you hit enter you remember that you have safe search off
>and behold, a wall of horsecock assaults the screen
>panicky you try to close the browser and it freezes so you slam the laptop close, hoping it would make the pictures disappear
>you look at the projection, only to see that it has freezed up to the display of huge hung horse penises
>panickly, almost tripping because of your own feet, you make your way in front of the sheet and try to block it
>only to have the horsecocks on yourself, dammit you forgot in your panic that all you needed to do was place your hand against the lens
>but then you notice Dandelions face
>there’s no embarrassment, no reaction of any sort, she just stares at you with a raised eyebrow
>you clear your throat and move away from the sheet
>”Well then, Dandelion, here we have a dick”
>Dandelion raises her hoof again
“Dandelion thought that mean grumpy shopkeeper at the market was a dick”
>”Yes he is but that’s a different story all together, now, this dick, I mean penis, is what males have. It gets longer and harder and bigger when the male is aroused and this is the thing that goes into the hole that females have, to make babies”
“But Dandelion poops from there!”
>”No not that hole, I mean yes that hole also but only if the mare likes it that way...”
>Dandelion looks at you questionably and you start to sweat
>”Umm what I mean is that yes you can put it in the butt, and some females even like it more than the proper place, but I’ll teach that to you someday else ok?”
>Dandelion gives you a nod
>you grab your cup of coffee and take a sip of it, your throat feeling dry now
>”So as I was saying, this goes to the other hole, the one you pee from. NO! Not the hole where you pee from but the hole near there... that place that your parents probably told you that you should let nopony touch or something”
>Dandelions face brightens
“Dandelion knows what you are talking about, you mean this!”
>Dandelion gets up from her chair and turns around, pushing her butt up into the air and lifting her tail
>and you spit the coffee out of your mouth that you were just taking a sip of and almost choke on it
>”Dandelion, ass down now, please”
>Dandelion sits back down and you make your way back to your computer
>no need to put on a picture of a mares vagina up there now, you...*cough had a lot of those pictures *cough
>”So, sex is when a male puts it’s dick into a female and moves it in and out”
“Show Dandelion”
>dammit how can her voice sound this normal under these circumstances
>”Uh, Umm yeah, that’d...that’ll yeah, work”
>but now this here is a problem, you have no horse porn
>only human porn
>damn, well you should have some vanilla somewhere, you’ll show some of that, a few seconds, and then Dandelion will think it is disgusting and never ask more info, perfect plan
>so you open up your vault of videos and get to scrolling in silence
“Anon what’s an anal threesome?”
>you accidently drop the mouse off the table in shock
>”Uhhh nothing, nothing, don’t look at the tittles please”
>damn, got to find one fast
>THERE! between anal addicts 5 and dirty lesbian nurse enema foursome party
>you click on the video and it starts playing, cheesy porn music filling the room
>and you sweat even more, this was not a good idea
>thankfully, Dandelion has nothing against it not being ponies this time
>Oh lord now he’s touching her down there, spreading and... was this surely vanilla?
>you get closer and take a look at Dandelions face
>indifference
>you just hope it will stay that way
>and then the woman starts to suck the mans dick
“Babies come from the mouth?”
>”No Dandelion, that is a sort of foreplay, and also sometimes women like to blow men so they will last longer in bed”
“Why?”
>”Well, sex feels good... No no it does not, umm they just do it”
>no need to get her to try to try this stuff out, damn this was not a good idea
>and then the girl goes to all fours and you took again a glance at Dandelion
>no shock, that’s...disturbing
>and then the man stabs his dick deep into the womans anus
>Aw shit this is an anal video
“So Babies really do come from the butt!”
>”No no, they don’t, believe me they don’t”
>you skip some of the video forward, and then some more until you arrive at vaginal sex
>you hope he cleaned his dick before stabbing it in there
>and then you just let the video play out, sitting at the edge of your seat as Dandelion watches
>and then the creampie happens and you pause the video and with a squeaky voice continue to teach
>Dandelion still seems unfazed by all of this
>”And that is semen, cum, sperm. It is what babies are made from, you see you have an egg inside of you, and that sperm will then make the eggs grow into a baby”
“Why is the woman eating it now?”
>dammit you nasty skank of the video stop it this is embarrassing and spaghetti-inducing for you oh god the mental shame
>”Uhh... some women like the taste and the men like it when it gets eaten for reasons”
“Can I taste it?”
>your eyes almost bulge out of your skull
>”Can you ta- No you can not, no! Not until you are 20 and married!”
>you decide to stop the video and close the projector
>”Anyways that’s everything, no questions”
>you can not take it anymore, the embarrassment is killing you and you can’t think straight anymore
>Dandelion is still calm and collected as ever
“Ok I’ll go back to play now”
>”Yeah, you do that”
>you sit down and breathe deeply to calm yourself
>you’ll just let the school or her parents or someone else patch up the information, no more, never again, just no

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>Day you’ve got to do some shit about Dandelion in Equestria
>she’s been hanging around you a lot and you have started to worry about her obliviousness to the opposite sex
>so you have decided to give her sex ed
>goodbye, Dandelions sweet fillyhood, but it must be done or else you fear you might end up in jail someday
>it has started to react slightly to her
>the beast must be stopped before it awakens
“What were you going to teach to Dandelion Anon?”
>Dandelion is currently sitting down on a small chair as you put the projector on and plug your laptop into it
>”Dandelion, due to certain circumstances, I’m going to give you sexual education”
>Dandelion blushes and brings her hoof coyly to her cheeks
“Oh Anon, this is too sudden”
>you facepalm
>”No Dandelion not like that, get your mind out of the gutter young lady!”
>Dandelion settles down as you clear your throat
>”Now, I am going to teach you about the art of fornication. As you know, there are males and then there are females, and in some cases males trying to be females or females trying to be males but that’s beside the point”
>Dandelion gives you a little nod and you bring up your first picture
>a basic textbook picture of a naked man and a naked woman, nothing too extreme, just simply drawn
>Dandelion raises her hoof and you sweat
>let the awkwardness begin, you can already imagine the questions she has
“That’s not a pony penis”
>... wut
>”Ummm... that’s beside the point in here”
>but Dandelion won’t have any of it
“Shouldn’t Dandelion learn about her own species?”
>”No, sex is the same with all”
>Dandelion tilts her head to the side
“It is?”
>...dammit she has a point
>sadly you do not have any pony cock on your computer, what to do
>you bring up Google to the screen and go to search for pictures
>with shaky hands you write in pony penis and hope for the best
>just as you hit enter you remember that you have safe search off
>and behold, a wall of horsecock assaults the screen
>panicky you try to close the browser and it freezes so you slam the laptop close, hoping it would make the pictures disappear
>you look at the projection, only to see that it has freezed up to the display of huge hung horse penises
>panickly, almost tripping because of your own feet, you make your way in front of the sheet and try to block it
>only to have the horsecocks on yourself, dammit you forgot in your panic that all you needed to do was place your hand against the lens 
>but then you notice Dandelions face
>there’s no embarrassment, no reaction of any sort, she just stares at you with a raised eyebrow
>you clear your throat and move away from the sheet
>”Well then, Dandelion, here we have a dick”
>Dandelion raises her hoof again
“Dandelion thought that mean grumpy shopkeeper at the market was a dick”
>”Yes he is but that’s a different story all together, now, this dick, I mean penis, is what males have. It gets longer and harder and bigger when the male is aroused and this is the thing that goes into the hole that females have, to make babies”
“But Dandelion poops from there!”
>”No not that hole, I mean yes that hole also but only if the mare likes it that way...”
>Dandelion looks at you questionably and you start to sweat
>”Umm what I mean is that yes you can put it in the butt, and some females even like it more than the proper place, but I’ll teach that to you someday else ok?”
>Dandelion gives you a nod
>you grab your cup of coffee and take a sip of it, your throat feeling dry now
>”So as I was saying, this goes to the other hole, the one you pee from. NO! Not the hole where you pee from but the hole near there... that place that your parents probably told you that you should let nopony touch or something”
>Dandelions face brightens
“Dandelion knows what you are talking about, you mean this!”
>Dandelion gets up from her chair and turns around, pushing her butt up into the air and lifting her tail
>and you spit the coffee out of your mouth that you were just taking a sip of and almost choke on it
>”Dandelion, ass down now, please”
>Dandelion sits back down and you make your way back to your computer
>no need to put on a picture of a mares vagina up there now, you...*cough had a lot of those pictures *cough
>”So, sex is when a male puts it’s dick into a female and moves it in and out”
“Show Dandelion”
>dammit how can her voice sound this normal under these circumstances
>”Uh, Umm yeah, that’d...that’ll yeah, work”
>but now this here is a problem, you have no horse porn
>only human porn
>damn, well you should have some vanilla somewhere, you’ll show some of that, a few seconds, and then Dandelion will think it is disgusting and never ask more info, perfect plan
>so you open up your vault of videos and get to scrolling in silence
“Anon what’s an anal threesome?”
>you accidently drop the mouse off the table in shock
>”Uhhh nothing, nothing, don’t look at the tittles please”
>damn, got to find one fast
>THERE! between anal addicts 5 and dirty lesbian nurse enema foursome party
>you click on the video and it starts playing, cheesy porn music filling the room
>and you sweat even more, this was not a good idea
>thankfully, Dandelion has nothing against it not being ponies this time
>Oh lord now he’s touching her down there, spreading and... was this surely vanilla?
>you get closer and take a look at Dandelions face
>indifference
>you just hope it will stay that way
>and then the woman starts to suck the mans dick
“Babies come from the mouth?”
>”No Dandelion, that is a sort of foreplay, and also sometimes women like to blow men so they will last longer in bed”
“Why?”
>”Well, sex feels good... No no it does not, umm they just do it”
>no need to get her to try to try this stuff out, damn this was not a good idea
>and then the girl goes to all fours and you took again a glance at Dandelion
>no shock, that’s...disturbing
>and then the man stabs his dick deep into the womans anus
>Aw shit this is an anal video
“So Babies really do come from the butt!”
>”No no, they don’t, believe me they don’t”
>you skip some of the video forward, and then some more until you arrive at vaginal sex
>you hope he cleaned his dick before stabbing it in there
>and then you just let the video play out, sitting at the edge of your seat as Dandelion watches
>and then the creampie happens and you pause the video and with a squeaky voice continue to teach
>Dandelion still seems unfazed by all of this
>”And that is semen, cum, sperm. It is what babies are made from, you see you have an egg inside of you, and that sperm will then make the eggs grow into a baby”
“Why is the woman eating it now?”
>dammit you nasty skank of the video stop it this is embarrassing and spaghetti-inducing for you oh god the mental shame 
>”Uhh... some women like the taste and the men like it when it gets eaten for reasons”
“Can I taste it?”
>your eyes almost bulge out of your skull
>”Can you ta- No you can not, no! Not until you are 20 and married!”
>you decide to stop the video and close the projector
>”Anyways that’s everything, no questions”
>you can not take it anymore, the embarrassment is killing you and you can’t think straight anymore
>Dandelion is still calm and collected as ever
“Ok I’ll go back to play now”
>”Yeah, you do that”
>you sit down and breathe deeply to calm yourself
>you’ll just let the school or her parents or someone else patch up the information, no more, never again, just no

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