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The Good Life, Part 3: Terror

By: Fuckasaurus_Fuck on Sep 11th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.64 KB  |  hits: 72  |  expires: Never
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  1. >You take a deep breath before taking any action
  2. >You can hear the fluffies happily babbling
  3. >You wait until two voices are directly outside
  4. "THIS!"
  5. "WAH! SCAWY NOISE!"
  6. "IS!'
  7. "Wut noise? Meanie noise go-"
  8. "SPARTAAAAAAA!!!!!"
  9. >You kick the door down as you scream the last word of your battle cry
  10. >You can hear the telltale "crunch" as the two fluffies are smashed under the door
  11. >8 more
  12. "AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
  13. >You scream, swinging the chainsaw around above your head
  14. >One fluffy actually dies of fright
  15. >7
  16. >You run around the lawn, chasing the group of fluffies for a bit
  17. "MUNSTAH! SMAWTY HEWP FWUFFIES! FWUFFIES SCAWED!"
  18. >Smarty's nowhere to be seen
  19. >You make a mental note of that
  20. >Suddenly, you swing the chainsaw downward, cleaving two fluffies in half
  21. >5
  22. >The remainder of the herd simply drops down and covers their eyes
  23. >You walk away, back into your house
  24. "Munstah gone?"
  25. >Oh no, you're not gone yet
  26. >You grab the gasoline and put the chainsaw away
  27. >You walk back outside and grab the 4 fluffies who are huddling together
  28. >They shit once more out of fear
  29. "It's okay, look...I brought you guys fun rainbow water to play in."
  30. >you show them the gasoline and their eyes light up
  31. >You begin pouring out and they frolic around in it
  32. >You let their fluff get drenched with gasoline
  33. >You think for a moment, and set one fluffy aside
  34. >You walk back inside, grab a pet carrier, and toss him in
  35. >Then you strike a match
  36. "Hey, fluffies?"
  37. "Wah hooman wan'?"
  38. >You toss the match onto one of the fluffies
  39. >All three of them instantly go up in flames
  40. "WAAAHHHH!!! NU WIKE BUWNY MUNSTAH! HEWP FWUFFY!"
  41. >They run in circles for a few minutes before falling over dead
  42. >They were literally less than five feet from the pool
  43. >You then begin your search for the smarty
  44. >It's not too hard to find him
  45. >He's huddled underneath your porch, covering his eyes
  46. "...D-dummeh fwuffies wiww keep S-Smawty safe fwom munstah..."
  47. "Nope."
  48. "EEP!"
  49. >He shrieks and thrashes around as you drag him out by his tail
  50. "NU HUWT FWUFFY!!!"
  51. "Too late. You let your herd die and you shat all over."
  52. >Your lawn looks like Ground Zero
  53. >You take him over the pool and hold him under the waterfall
  54. "WAWA COWD! NU WIKE!"
  55. "Tough titties."
  56. >You hold him for a good minute an pull him out
  57. "W...Wet fwuffy go now...?"
  58. >You bring him up so he's face-to-mask with you
  59. "No."
  60. >You grab the smarty by his scruff and dunk his head under the water
  61. >It's only about 5 seconds, but when you bring him up he's gasping for air
  62. "WET FWUFFY GO NOW! WIWW GIF BIG-"
  63. >Another 5 seconds
  64. >He comes up coughing and sputtering
  65. "What were you saying?"
  66. "Pw*ack!* Pwease wet fwuffy go!"
  67. "How about no."
  68. >You turn him upside-down and place his horn against one of the rocks by the pool
  69. >Then you start grinding
  70. "WAAAH!!! NU HUWT POINTY! POINTY FO SMAWTY WIGHTS!"
  71. >You ignore him as you keep grinding his horn
  72. >In about 5 minutes, it's nothing but a stump and fine, bloody powder
  73. >You drop him on the ground
  74. >Then you raise your foot
  75. "Any last words?"
  76. "Sp...SPESHUW HUG YOU, DUMMY HOOMAN!"
  77. >You bring your boot down on his head
  78. >The only fluffy still alive is shitting himself in the carrier
  79. >You remove the bodies from the hole and carry it over
  80. "Wah munstah gon do to fwuffy...?"
  81. "Nothing."
  82. "Wah?"
  83. >You're not going to hurt this one
  84. "Tell your friends about me."
  85. >With that, you release him
  86. >He takes off running
  87. >You turn around and survey the damage
  88. >Shit and blood everywhere, fire damage, and 9 dead fluffies
  89. "Meh...could've been worse."
  90. >You walk inside and stop the camera
  91. >You upload the video to FluffTube and get 15 million hits the first week
  92. >Not a single feral ever came to your house again
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