Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Public Pastes

The Good Life, Part 2: Smarty

By: Fuckasaurus_Fuck on Sep 11th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.60 KB  |  hits: 70  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >You do a quick head count of the herd
  2. >23 in total
  3. >At least 5 foals and 2 pregnant mares
  4. "Well, this should be interesting..."
  5. >You step outside and are immediately assaulted by a stench most foul
  6. >They've already shit everywhere, and do so again when they see you
  7. >A Unicorn starts waddling toward you
  8. "Here we go..."
  9. >He puffs up his cheeks
  10. "DIS FWUFFY WAND! DUMMY HOOMAN MUNSTAH WEAVE NOW!"
  11. "This is my house. My very expensive house. I suggest you reconsider. Now."
  12. >You make your voice just threatening enough to scare a bit more shit out of the rest of the fluffies
  13. "NU! HOOMAN WEAVE NOW!"
  14. >He stamps his hooves on the grass
  15. >You don't enjoy seeing fluffies get hurt, but smarties?
  16. >They're different
  17. "No. This is my fucking house, you little shit. Now leave before you regret it."
  18. "NUUUUUUUU!!!"
  19. >He starts jumping up and down, sparking his horn and thrashing his hooves around
  20. >It's a category 5 tantrum
  21. "Leave, or I'm going to fucking hurt you."
  22. >Some of the fluffies have actually started leaving through the hole in the fence
  23. >You'll have to fix that
  24. "DUMMEH HOOMAN! SMAWTY GIF BIG OWWIES!"
  25. >He starts poking your shin with his horn
  26. >It actually kind of tickles
  27. >You're still pissed as shit
  28. "Last chance you little fucker."
  29. "NU!"
  30. >The dams and foals have wised up and vacated
  31. >Just about 10 fluffies remain
  32. >Bueno
  33. >You calmly stroll over to the pool
  34. >Two fluffies have managed to drown
  35. >You grab them and stuff their bodies into the hole in the fence
  36. >You want the herd to see what's about to happen
  37. "Alright, since your smarty refuses to leave, I'm going to teach you all a lesson."
  38. >With that, you turn around and walk into your house
  39. "Sunsplash, I need you to go into your room for a while."
  40. "Otay, daddeh. Am good fwuffeh."
  41. >She picks up her ball and heads into her safe room
  42. >You close and lock the door behind her
  43. "Glad I had that room sound-proofed..."
  44. >You check the window again
  45. >All the fluffies are celebrating their "victory"
  46. >You decide that they aren't going anywhere
  47. >You walk to your garage and put on your overalls
  48. >You grab a chainsaw, a jug of gasoline, and a book of matches
  49. "Let's see...ah! This one!"
  50. >You grab your Leatherface Halloween mask
  51. >You then set up a video camera at your window
  52. >You crack the window to make sure you pick up all the audio
  53. >No one will want to miss this
  54. >You tiptoe back to the garage
  55. >You grab a screwdriver and head back to the door
  56. >You unscrew the hinges and carefully set the screws down
  57. >You start up the chainsaw
  58. "Wat scawy noise? Munstah?"
  59. "Nu! Is jus metaw munstah hoomans wide in."
  60. >They have no fucking idea what's about to hit them
create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data