Title:           The Final Fluff-tier, Part 5: The End of the Epsilon
Author:          Fuckasaurus_Fuck
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/sitmQ8rm
First Edit:      Thursday 9th of May 2013 07:27:45 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 9th of May 2013 07:27:45 PM CDT

>You are Captain Isaac Latt of the UNAF Epsilon
>You and the surviving members of your crew are currently blasting through the hordes of Alicorn Fluffies trying to reach the escape pods
>Which just so happen to be on C-Deck
"Alright, we're gonna go in there, we're gonna put these sonic, electronic ball-breakers to good use, and we're all gonna go home. Any questions?"
"Uh, yeah, sir...Um...what do we do if one of them- URK!"
>An Alicorn busts out of the man's chest and you slap your forehead
"If one of them does the nasty to your face, you do this..."
>You shoot the man in the head and stomp the Fluffy into the floor
"Now, let's go."
>You slam your fist into the door's control panel and the door slides open
>Outside the bridge are hundreds of Alicorns, all running amok on your once-beautiful ship
>That makes you fucking destiny-level angry
>You let out a scream and charge into the crowd with the rest of your crew, guns blazing
"Wan pw-ZAP!"
"Speshuw hug-SPLAT!"
"Why scawy n-EXPLODING FLUFFY SOUND!"
>So far so good, no one's been facefucked yet
>You tear through the ship, eviscerating everything along the way
"NUUU! Weywand Ootani kiwwed aw fwuffies! Yu bastawds!"
>A little Earth Fluffy waddles past you
>Jim picks it up
"Hey there...what's your name?"
"Fwuffy am Ewwen. Need stop Xe... Xan... Zannycorns!"
"Zannycorns...?"
>You tap Jim on the shoulder and motion for him to hurry up
>He plops Ellen up on his shoulder and you all get moving
 
>Hours later, you finally arrive at C-Deck
>The doors are sealed, and smeared on them, with what looks like Fluffy shit, are words
>Jim reads it aloud
"Don't Fluffies...Open inside?"
"No, numbnuts, it says 'Don't open, Fluffies inside."
"Well why the fuck is it written like THAT, then?"
"I don't fucking know, maybe we should go in and ask the Fluffies why it's written like that!"
>You open the door and are greeted by what appears to be thousands of Alicorns
>There shouldn't even fucking be this many
>Maybe they got to the ones in stasis...
>You open fire and charge forward
"The escape pods are just up ahead! We just need to...to..."
>As you turn the corner to the escape pods, you are greeted by a colossal Fluffy Alicorn
>The smell alone is enough to make you want to kill yourself then and there
>It is clearly having trouble breathing properly, and is stuck in what seems to be a continuous diarrhea loop
>A few normal-sized Alicorns bring it food, while a few others clean the liquid waste
"Fw...*pant, pant* Fwuffy am smawty! Wan...*gasp* wan dummy hoomins out Fwuffy wand! *gurgle*"
>You grin at Jim
"Alright, we'll leave...Jim, get everyone on the pods, now. I'll deal with this."
"But, if we-"
"Do it. NOW."
>He nods, and the surviving crew members board the usable pods
>There were just enough NOT filled to the brim with Fluffy shit to fit them all
"Why dummy hoomin no weave *pant* Fwuffy awea?"
"Hm? Oh, no reason..."
>You press the launch button and watch as the escape pods fly off into space
>You laugh
"Wat so *wheeze* funneh?"
"Oh, nothing...it's just I always wanted to shoot all you little bastards out a vacuum..."
>You grab hold of one of the escape pod door frames and fire your weapon at the nearest window
>Alarms begin blaring as the ship undergoes explosive decompression
"DUMMY HOOMIN! WAT YOU *HACK* DO!?"
>You remain silent as you blast out the remaining windows
>The only Fluffy left onboard is the giant one, who is slowly being pulled toward the opening
>As soon as it makes contact with an open window, it begins squealing
"NUUUUUUUUUU!"
>Through the other windows, you can see chunks of flesh flying into space
>The Fluffy slowly deflates, until it is nothing but a Fluffy-skin rug
>The remains are sucked into space, and you smile as you release your grip on the door
>It's cold
>Cold as FUCK
>But you're happy that PETA didn't get their way
>That's good enough for you