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The Final Fluff-tier, Part 4: Alicorns

By: Fuckasaurus_Fuck on May 7th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.28 KB  |  hits: 26  |  expires: Never
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  1. Captain's Log: Fuck if I know anymore
  2. "Jimbo found one with a horn AND wings a while back...
  3. One of those other Fluffies, Ellen, went absolutely batshit crazy.
  4. Started screaming shit about fucking "awiens" and "Weywand Ootani"
  5. Fuck this. I'm fucking spacing all of them. Fuck PETA, fuck EarthGov, and fuck you. End log."
  6.  
  7. >You are Captain Isaac Latt, and you are less than pleased
  8. >It's been a few weeks since Jim found an Alicorn on C-Deck
  9. >Since then, a bunch of new ones were born and the other Fluffies started avoiding them like the fucking plague
  10. >Come to think of it...there's less "normal" Fluffies than Alicorns now
  11. >You scratch your head, wondering how that's even possible
  12. "CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN, FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"
  13. >You glance over your shoulder at the door to the bridge
  14. >Sylvan, the Epsilon's resident ass-kisser, is standing there, panting
  15. "What is it this time, Sy-"
  16. "FUCKING FLUFFIES! THEY'RE FUCKING- GUH!"
  17. >Suddenly, what appears to be an oversized Fluffy horn bursts through Sylvan's chest
  18. >He gurgles as a fully-grown Fluffy Alicorn crawls its way out of him
  19. "Hewwo! Wan' speshuw huggies?"
  20. "Oh Jesus fuck, hell no."
  21. >You kick Sylvan square in the crotch, and he collapses
  22. >Then, you kick the Fluffy in the face
  23. >It explodes
  24. >Sylvan dies
  25. >You smile
  26.  
  27. >You are Jim Townsend, and you have a huge fucking problem on your hands
  28. >A few hours ago, the Alicorns started latching on to peoples' faces and..."giving them special huggies"
  29. >Apparently, that's how they breed, and that's just about the most fucked up thing you've ever seen
  30. >A few hours after the Fluffy facefuck, an Alicorn busts out of the victim's chest and goes on to continue the cycle
  31. >Half the crew's already dead
  32. >You've been hiding in the ventilation shafts for the past hour or so
  33. >You can still hear a cacophony of "pway" and "speshuw huggies," along with the occasional scream, coming from below
  34. >You start crawling forward, but suddenly fall through an air duct
  35. "Oh, hey there, Jimmy boy. I was wondering when you'd show up."
  36. >Sitting in front of you is Captain Latt, polishing a plasma pistol
  37. >Behind him are about 50 or so survivors, each armed with either a sidearm or a re-purposed medical tool
  38. >He tosses you a pistol
  39. "So, Jim, you ready to blow these fuckers into space or what?"