Title:           Sunny In Cleveland, Nonsense: Not As Planned, Part 3
Author:          Fuckasaurus_Fuck
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/wYpQSsxp
First Edit:      Thursday 27th of September 2012 07:45:15 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 27th of September 2012 07:45:15 PM CDT

>You are Tom, Hasbro Biotoys employee
>And a Tyrannosaurus Rex has escaped your lab
"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit"
>This is EXTREMELY bad
>There's a giant fucking lizard rampaging around Cleveland
>Now you know how the Japanese feel
>You run out into the streets and call for your creation
>Thank God you trained him to come when he's called
"MISTER SNUGGLEKINS! Where are you!? Come to daddy!"
>Shit, no response
>Maybe it's because his shock collar's broken?
>You hear a monstrous roar
>That has to be him
>You take off in the direction of the vocalization
"Oh, fuck, please don't be eating any third graders..."
>In hindsight, it was a bad idea to bring those kids in a few months ago to test the raptor and T-Rex
>But that's how we learn
>You keep running until you spot the dinosaur
>He's staring down a fucking HUGE gorilla
>He's easily twice its size, but the primate doesn't seem intimidated
>You have to contain the Rex, but this looks like it could be promising
>You take out the camera you always carry (for science, of course) and press record
>The only thing that's missing are-
"New fwend?"
>Ah, right on time
>A group of 30 or so fluffies has appeared behind you
>Their "Smarty" addresses you
"Hooman be new daddeh fo hewd?"
"Um...no...but, uh..."
>You point at the giant lizard and the gorilla
"THEY will!"
"Hewd! Wissen! Dose munstahs nu munstahs! Dey new fwends fo hewd!"
>The herd erupts into a chorus of cheers
>Then they all run towards what is literally the most dangerous thing in sight
>The T-Rex seems confused by the fluffies
>But the gorilla...
>He's fucking FURIOUS
"Well...gorillas ARE their natural predators..."
>It charges at the herd, only to be stopped by the T-Rex
>The dinosaur snaps at the gorilla, which ducks the beast's jaws
>The gorilla turns around and roars, and the fluffies just freeze
>Most shit themselves
"N...new fw-fwends...?"
>The gorilla and T-Rex look at eachother
>Then they both tear into the herd
"Oh, holy sweet mother of FUCK!"
>The gorilla picks up fluffies and simply rips them in half
>The T-Rex swallows groups of 3 or more whole
>In about 30 seconds, they're all gone
>The gorilla and the dinosaur look at eachother once more
>The T-Rex roars and charges
>The gorilla does likewise
>You wish you'd brought some popcorn
>After about 20 minutes, the monkey-vs-lizard brawl is still raging on
>The gorilla has actually managed to do some damage to the T-Rex
>Since it's smart enough to use tools, it grabbed a broken metal beam
>And used it as a motherfucking sword
>The T-Rex's left eye has been gouged out
>A scar now runs down its face
>It's fucking pissed
>The dinosaur roars and grabs the gorilla's weapon
>It lifts the beam and the gorilla off the ground and tosses them in the air
>The gorilla twists around in the air and manages to right itself
>It slams its weight into the Rex's nose
>The giant lizard reels from the blow, but continues fighting
>It grabs the gorilla by the stomach
>The primate howls in pain, but its struggles are for naught
>The T-Rex lifts up its head and brings its jaws together
>The gorilla is torn in half, and the dinosaur lets out a victorious roar
>You just stand there, awestruck
>Never before has man seen anything like this
>You quickly upload the video to your company's website
>Just then, the T-Rex notices you
>It begins walking toward you, but you're too wrapped up in your video
>The last thing you ever see is a notice from your boss
>You've been fired
"Well sh-"
>The beast's jaws snap shut once more
>You have become its latest meal
>Such is the circle of life