Title:           Sunny In Cleveland, Nonsense: Captain Planet
Author:          Fuckasaurus_Fuck
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/ycvrkQyT
First Edit:      Monday 24th of September 2012 06:15:11 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 24th of September 2012 06:15:11 PM CDT

>You are Ted Turner, media mogul
>CNN is covering the disaster in Cleveland, and you're along for the ride
>Millions of fluffies shitting all over the place
>An explosion ripping the city apart
>The nuclear plant on the brink of a meltdown
>This sounds like a job for...
"CAPTAIN PLANET!"
>You rush into the nearest bathroom and take out your body paint and costume
>You strip down to your underwear, put on your tights, and start applying the paint
"Captain...Plaaaanet..."
>The door opens and a man walks in
>He looks at you, and immediately turns around and walks back out
>You finish off by dying your hair green
>You take a final look in the mirror and nod
"Captain Planet!"
>You zipline out the window and into the streets
"CAPTAIN PLANET!"
"WAH! MUNSTAH!"
>Hundreds of threats to the environment swarm around you
>You kick groups of them into the air
"CAPTAIN PLANET!"
>You shoot your zipline at a building and soar away
>You notice a military checkpoint below you
>Those trucks run on diesel fuel
>That's bad for the environment!
>You begin zipping down into the group of soldiers
"Holy shit...is that Ted Tu-"
>You kick him square in the jaw
"CAPTAIN PLANET!"
>Protecting the Earth is never easy, but you do it regardless
>Because you're...
"CAPTAIN...PLAAAAAAAANEEEEEET!"