- >You are Tom, Hasbro Biotoys employee
- >And a Tyrannosaurus Rex has escaped your lab
- "Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit"
- >This is EXTREMELY bad
- >There's a giant fucking lizard rampaging around Cleveland
- >Now you know how the Japanese feel
- >You run out into the streets and call for your creation
- >Thank God you trained him to come when he's called
- "MISTER SNUGGLEKINS! Where are you!? Come to daddy!"
- >Shit, no response
- >Maybe it's because his shock collar's broken?
- >You hear a monstrous roar
- >That has to be him
- >You take off in the direction of the vocalization
- "Oh, fuck, please don't be eating any third graders..."
- >In hindsight, it was a bad idea to bring those kids in a few months ago to test the raptor and T-Rex
- >But that's how we learn
- >You keep running until you spot the dinosaur
- >He's staring down a fucking HUGE gorilla
- >He's easily twice its size, but the primate doesn't seem intimidated
- >You have to contain the Rex, but this looks like it could be promising
- >You take out the camera you always carry (for science, of course) and press record
- >The only thing that's missing are-
- "New fwend?"
- >Ah, right on time
- >A group of 30 or so fluffies has appeared behind you
- >Their "Smarty" addresses you
- "Hooman be new daddeh fo hewd?"
- "Um...no...but, uh..."
- >You point at the giant lizard and the gorilla
- "THEY will!"
- "Hewd! Wissen! Dose munstahs nu munstahs! Dey new fwends fo hewd!"
- >The herd erupts into a chorus of cheers
- >Then they all run towards what is literally the most dangerous thing in sight
- >The T-Rex seems confused by the fluffies
- >But the gorilla...
- >He's fucking FURIOUS
- "Well...gorillas ARE their natural predators..."
- >It charges at the herd, only to be stopped by the T-Rex
- >The dinosaur snaps at the gorilla, which ducks the beast's jaws
- >The gorilla turns around and roars, and the fluffies just freeze
- >Most shit themselves
- "N...new fw-fwends...?"
- >The gorilla and T-Rex look at eachother
- >Then they both tear into the herd
- "Oh, holy sweet mother of FUCK!"
- >The gorilla picks up fluffies and simply rips them in half
- >The T-Rex swallows groups of 3 or more whole
- >In about 30 seconds, they're all gone
- >The gorilla and the dinosaur look at eachother once more
- >The T-Rex roars and charges
- >The gorilla does likewise
- >You wish you'd brought some popcorn
- >After about 20 minutes, the monkey-vs-lizard brawl is still raging on
- >The gorilla has actually managed to do some damage to the T-Rex
- >Since it's smart enough to use tools, it grabbed a broken metal beam
- >And used it as a motherfucking sword
- >The T-Rex's left eye has been gouged out
- >A scar now runs down its face
- >It's fucking pissed
- >The dinosaur roars and grabs the gorilla's weapon
- >It lifts the beam and the gorilla off the ground and tosses them in the air
- >The gorilla twists around in the air and manages to right itself
- >It slams its weight into the Rex's nose
- >The giant lizard reels from the blow, but continues fighting
- >It grabs the gorilla by the stomach
- >The primate howls in pain, but its struggles are for naught
- >The T-Rex lifts up its head and brings its jaws together
- >The gorilla is torn in half, and the dinosaur lets out a victorious roar
- >You just stand there, awestruck
- >Never before has man seen anything like this
- >You quickly upload the video to your company's website
- >Just then, the T-Rex notices you
- >It begins walking toward you, but you're too wrapped up in your video
- >The last thing you ever see is a notice from your boss
- >You've been fired
- "Well sh-"
- >The beast's jaws snap shut once more
- >You have become its latest meal
- >Such is the circle of life
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Sunny In Cleveland, Nonsense: Not As Planned, Part 3
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