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Sunny In Cleveland, Nonsense: Not As Planned, Part 1

By: Fuckasaurus_Fuck on Sep 27th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.36 KB  |  hits: 52  |  expires: Never
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  1. >You are Employee #098263-A, a Hasbro Biotoys employee
  2. >Well...that WAS your designation
  3. >Now, you're just known as Tom
  4. >You've been promoted for doing so well with sciency shit
  5. >Mostly, you just sent fluffies to their deaths
  6. >The purpose of the experiment was to see if Alicorns were still intelligent with normal fluffy genes injected into them
  7. >They weren't
  8. >The results got you promoted for some reason
  9. >Now you're working on a new project
  10. >A biotoy aimed solely at boys
  11. >Your boss gave you 100% creative freedom on this
  12. >You have just over 6 months to come up with what you want to make
  13. >You plan on completing the project in that time frame
  14. >But what to make?
  15. >You pace around your lab for a few minutes
  16. "What would boys go crazy over...?"
  17. >Humanoid sex robot?
  18. >No. These are kids you're marketing towards
  19. >You jot that down to pitch to your boss later
  20. >Non-fluffy ponies?
  21. >Oh, wait. Those exist. They're called horses
  22. "Wait!"
  23. >Boys like dinosaurs, right?
  24. >That's it!
  25. >You'll clone some and test those out
  26. >What could possibly go wrong?
  27.  
  28. >Fast forward 5 months
  29.  
  30. >Everything went so, so wrong
  31. >You've managed to clone various dinosaur species and bring them to life
  32. >It was pretty difficult
  33. >You had to extract the DNA from fossils, incubate eggs, the works
  34. >You even had to do what they did in Jurassic Park and fill in a shit-ton of gaps
  35. >You didn't use frog DNA though
  36. >You don't want to risk any dinosaurs breeding
  37. >Even so, shit hit the fan pretty quick
  38. >You made Stegosaurs, Velociraptors, Ankylosaurs, and T-Rexes
  39. >Since your building is in Cleveland, you had the perfect opportunity to unveil your creations shortly after Spaghetti Land opened
  40. >You opened the pens on the third day of the park's operation
  41. "Alright...let's do this."
  42. >The dinosaurs obey you in part because of genetic coding, and because of the massive shock collars they wear
  43. >You were leading them out of the labs when the bombs went off
  44. >You were knocked unconscious as you were thrown against the Ankylosaur's armored plates
  45. >When you woke up, three of the dinosaurs were dead
  46. >They were killed by falling debris or shrapnel
  47. "Shit...hope the embryos are safe"
  48. >Wait. Three dead dinosaurs.
  49. >Velociraptor...Ankylosaurus...Stegosaurus...
  50. "Oh my fuck."
  51. >The T-Rex is loose
  52. >The T-Rex is loose in a city full of tourists and fluffies
  53. >And it was under your care
  54. >You are SO fired