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Beavis, Part 3: Finale

By: Fuckasaurus_Fuck on Sep 2nd, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 4.61 KB  |  hits: 102  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Starsplash in hand, you lead Beavis and Butthead into your garage
  2. >You manage to ignore their comments about the "Dummeh babbeh"
  3. >You lock the door behind you
  4. "Shit...forgot a second box..."
  5. >With all the excitement, you forgot to get a second Sorry-Box
  6. >You';; just have to make due with the cat-carrier
  7. "Beavis, get in the Sorry-Box"
  8. "Buh...buh am nu bad fwuffeh...am gud fwuffeh!"
  9. "NOW!"
  10. >He complies and you lock him in, facing the wiring
  11. >You pick Butthead up and plop her into the cat-carrier
  12. "I'll be right back, try not to shit to death."
  13. >You walk to the safe room and grab the three foals
  14. "Whewe mummeh an daddeh? Wuv? Hugs?"
  15. >You completely ignore them, putting them in a cardboard box
  16. >You pick up the phone and call up Marcus' petshop
  17. >You're pretty good friends, since you've been buying some stuff from him lately
  18. >He even gives you discounts
  19. "Hey, man, it's Anon...yeah...oh damn nice! You mean the girl from the fluffy factory? Yeah with the purple hair..."
  20. >You listen to him describe what sounds like one hell of a night before explaining what you want
  21. "Hey, listen, I have two female foals I wanna sell...Yeah as breeding mares. One's a pretty good looking Pegasus...Light blue, gold mane..."
  22. >He agrees to buy all three of your foals at a pretty good price
  23. >Three down, two to go
  24. >You put the foals in a plastic tub and pad the bottom with their blankets
  25. >You bring the tub into the garage and wait for Marcus
  26. >While you wait, you talk with your fluffies
  27. "Beavis...do you know why you're in the Sorry-Box?"
  28. "...nu...Beavi gud fwuffy..."
  29. "It's because you got Butthead pregnant, Beavis. You brought everything that's about to happen on yourself."
  30. "NU! AM GUD FWUFFY!"
  31. "No, you're not. You're the worst fluffy ever. And you..."
  32. >You point at Butthead to emphasize how pissed you are
  33. "Do YOU know why you're in there?"
  34. "Nuuuu...am good fwuffy! Wan babbehs! Giv babbehs meaneh!"
  35. >Oh hell naw
  36. "You are not a good fluffy either. Bad fluffies don't get to keep their babies."
  37. >This causes her to freak the fuck out, lightly speaking
  38. "NUUUUUUU!!!!! WAN BABBEHS! BABBEHS NEED WUV!"
  39. "Nope. I'm actually giving them to a big scary monster"
  40. >She collapses and starts sobbing, begging for her babies between breaths
  41. >You tune her out with your iPod
  42. >Fuck yeah, Slayer
  43. "Hey, Anon. I'm here for those foals."
  44. "Oh, hey Marcus...they're right here...Make sure the one in the carrier sees you take them. Act mean."
  45. "Got it...OH BOY, THESE FOALS SURE DO LOOK TASTY! I'M GOING TO RAPE AND THEN EAT THEM!"
  46. >Jesus H Fuck that's fucked up
  47. "NUUUUUUUUU!!!!! BABBEHS! MUNSTA NU TAKE BABBEHS! WAN BABBEHS! GIV BACK!!!"
  48. >Well it worked, at least
  49. >Marcus leaves with the foals, ignoring Butthead's protests
  50. >Once the screaming dies down a bit you move on to the next phase of your plan
  51. >You grab the pheromone spray from the garage shelf
  52. >You shake up the can and spray it all over Beavis' Sorry-Box
  53. >He immediately begins thrusting his hips
  54. "enf, enf, enf..."
  55. "Yeah, you just do that..."
  56. >You spray Butthead with the spray and set her carrier right in front of the Sorry-Box
  57. >You grab a chair, open a beer, and watch as Beavis tries to break through the cage
  58. >It's pretty funny, and his fluff is preventing him from getting injured
  59. >He starts crying when he realizes he isn't getting any special hugs
  60. "Nuuu*enf*uuu*enf*huhuhu*enf*...wan gif *enf* speshuw hugs! *enf*"
  61. "NUU! NU WAN SPESHUW HUGGIES! WAN BABBEHS BACK! PWEASE NU SPESHUW HUGS!!! WHY SPESHUW FWEND NU WUV BUHEAD!?"
  62. "He doesn't love you because you're a bad fluffy, Butthead."
  63. >You take a sip of your beer
  64. "And you can't give special hugs because YOU'RE a bad fluffy too. Bad fluffies don't get babies, or special hugs
  65. >You watch the spectacle for another half hour
  66. >By then, both fluffies have passed out
  67. >Beavis from exhaustion
  68. >Butthead from crying
  69. >Beavis is still humping in his sleep
  70. >You make sure to record it on your phone
  71. >You then call a Fluffy Shelter
  72. "I have 2 fluffies that I need to put up for adoption...yes...okay good. Do you guys spay and neuter? Great! Be there in an hour."
  73. >You grab your car battery and hook up alligator clips to it
  74. >You shock both fluffies into consciousness and reprogram them
  75. "Beavis, you HATE giving special huggies. You never want to give them again."
  76. "Butthead, you HATE babies, you never want to have another one again. You also hate having special huggies.
  77. >You clean the cages and put the fluffies in your car
  78. >Starsplash rides in the passenger seat
  79. >You arrive at the shelter, and pay an extra $50 to make sure that both fluffies are fixed
  80. >You take Starsplash home and give him spaghetti
  81. "Wuv daddeh!"
  82. >Only good fluffies get spaghetti
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