- >Day Fractured's date night on Earth
- >I'm going a date with a girl from Web Dev. class <HTML 101>
- >She's a 6/10; good looks, but a bit chubby
- >I've learned from one of her friends that she likes Italian food
- >So, I take her to a local Italian restraunt for our first date
- >We get seated and order
- >She orders some cylindrical pasta thing
- >I, being the poor college student I am, order the cheapest thing on the menu - spaghetti
- >We all know where this is going
- >So, we engage in small talk while the pasta is being cooked
- >Turns out, she's an artist, but isnt an idiot and decided to take something arts and computers so she could find a job
- >She asks if I want to see some of her art
- >Well, gee, can I say no? Was there ever an option?
- >Of course, I say
- >So, she shows me her art that she's uploaded to devianart
- >I notice she has a drawing of RD's cutie mark
- >I ask her about it
- >Turns out, she likes MLP FiM
- >Folks, we have a keeper!
- >She asks how I knew it was RD's cutie mark
- >I tell her I'm a brony - calling myself a horsefucker in a crowded restraunt doesn't seem to be the smartest thing to do
- >So, the topic turns to ponies
- >I accidentally mention I write fanfics
- >She wants to read them
- >Well, fuck
- >At that moment, our food is served
- >I notice my spaghettis are quivering
- >I take out my phone and show her my pastebin
- >She says the titles seem kinda grim - lab, drought, hemophilia - so she clicks on the one titled love
- >Shit
- >She starts to read
- >She mentions the format is a bit weird
- >I tell her its how the group of authors im part of write
- >"Aww, how sweet, a human and Pinkie in a relationship! This 'Anon' wouldn't happen to be you, would it?" she teases
- >She says that i must have a nice heart to write mushy love stories like this
- >Things can only go downhill from here
- >The spaghetti readies itself
- >The smile on her face slowly fades as she reaches the gore
- >She puts a hand to her mouth - she looks ill and upset
- >Finally, she gives me back my phone
- >"That was awful! How could you write something like that? WHY would you write something like that?!"
- >Honesty is the best policy, right?
- "Cuz it's erotic?"
- >"Youre a sick freak, you know that?!"
- "What's so sick about wanting to have sex with your intestines?!"
- >Processing...
- >Well fuck
- >"Get away from me, you psycho!" she turns to walk out
- "No wait! We can have normal sex before we have intestine sex!" I say, loud enough for the entire restraunt to hear
- >Spaghetti has reached maximum stored energy
- >Critical overload beginning
- >The spaghetti explodes in a fiery inferno of ragu and noodles
- >People scream and turn to run from the explosion, but its impossible to get away from the blast in time
- >The entire restraunt is engulfed by a fireball of spaghetti and sauce
- >I look around at the aftermath
- >People have been torn limb from limb by the shockwave, and the heat of the explosion melted and charred skin
- >Ragu mixed with the blood, so everything was covered in red
- >I knew I had to work fast before the authorities arrived
- >I dropped my pants and started fapping
- >Unfortunately, i was unable to finish before they arrived - police, ambulences, firetrucks; the works
- >A police officer walked in, surveying the wreckage
- >I tried to move, but he spotted me
- >We stared at each other for a minute, not quite sure what to make of each other
- >Gauging him to not be a threat, I finished fapping to the gore, then pulled up my pants and walked out
- >Overall, I think it was a pretty successful date
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dateNight
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