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(Other) Unexpected - One Shot

By: FlutterPriest on Sep 16th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.66 KB  |  hits: 85  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Unexpected in Equestria
  2. >Wake up
  3. >You are Anon
  4. >How boring.
  5. >You jump out your window in just boxers and sprint into town.
  6. >You spot a yellow pegasus on the horizon also sprinting towards you.
  7. "CLOTHESHANGER, BITCH!"
  8. >Holding out your arm, you aim to stop the yellow rapist in her tracks.
  9. >Closing the distance, you prepare yourself for the greatest destruction of your life.
  10. >She ducks, causing you to miss.
  11. >Shit.
  12. >You continue into town, because fuck staying with Yellowquiet.
  13. >Jump through the window of Sugarcube corner, because now you are a ninja.
  14. >You and Ponka lock eyes.
  15. >"Fight!"
  16. >Pinkie begins to throw knives at your location, as you dodge roll to your worthy opponent.
  17. >When Pinkie runs out of knives, the two of you leap in the air towards each other.
  18. >Initiate your battle cry.
  19. "ROCK! PAPER! SISSORS!"
  20. >Stupid ponies. They can only throw rock.
  21. >The two of you throw your choices.
  22. >You proudly display paper.
  23. >Pinkie's hand has contorted into a pair of sissors.
  24. >What.
  25. >Shit.
  26. >Retreat!
  27. >Running out of the bakery, Pinkie shouts after you.
  28. >"Same time tomorrow Anon?"
  29. >It is too cold out here.
  30. >Time to get clothes.
  31. >Smash through the window of Carousel Boutique because fuck doors.
  32. >"Anon! What in Equestria are you doing?"
  33. "MARSHMELLOWS CAN'T TALK!"
  34. >She stares at you inquisitively.
  35. >You throw a t-shirt and jeans into the air.
  36. >Gracefully you jump into the air to clothe yourself in slow time.
  37. >Your slow time powers fail you, as you land on top of your clothes face first.
  38. "Shit."
  39. >Rarity only stares at you.
  40. "Rare, can you help me here?"
  41. >She sighs deeply.
  42. >Using her magic, she suspends the clothing in midair, and you dress yourself using a backflip.
  43. "THANKS BITCH!"
  44. >You sprint towards the door.
  45. >Grabbing the handle, you stop in your tracks.
  46. "Oh, and I'll fix the window tomorrow. Today has been a little bit of an off day for me."
  47. >"I understand Anon, everyone has their days."
  48. >You open the door widely and gently close it.
  49. >Backflip to Twilight's Home in a frenzy.
  50. >Body slam the door open.
  51. >The unexpected noise causes Twilight to lose focus mid-spell as she tries to light millions of tiny candles.
  52. >Must have been close to some 'me-time'.
  53. >Her horn erupts with energy and shoots magic high into the sky and across the land of Equestria, engulfing it into flame.
  54. >Meanwhile, Celestia looks down at her burning kingdom.
  55. "I always knew it would come to this."
  56. >Celestia pours wine into a crystal goblet with her magic.
  57. "Might as well make this quick"
  58. >She downs the wine in a single gulp, and uses all of her might to hurl the sun into her dying kingdom.
  59. >In that moment, the world of ponies was no more.
  60. >Today was an off kind of day.
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