Title:           Sounds Like You've Been Bad 1
Author:          FluffyHarbinger
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/FKPKk6HD
First Edit:      Sunday 5th of August 2012 12:30:46 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 5th of August 2012 12:30:46 PM CDT

Sounds Like You've Been Bad
> You are a work at home bachelor
> This morning you left your modest home to buy groceries
> When you returned the front door was ajar
> Thieves?
> The neighborhood isn't the best
> You grab the bat you have in the umbrella rack by the door and enter silently
> You hear talking in the kitchen
> "Whew nummies? Fwuffy haff tummy huwties! Mummah, fwuffy bewwy huwties!"
> Fucking fluffy ponies
> You return the bat to its place and enter your bedroom
> Cans crash in the kitchen
> "Owies! Huwty! Why huwt fwuffy? Fwuffy good!"
> Well, time to test this thing out
> You remove a small black gun case from under your bed
> It's suitcase sized and light
> Opening the safety clips with a satisfying *clunk* you swing the top open
> The inside contains a pistol like weapon with a wide flat attachment
> Several batteries are also in the case
> Removing the pistol, attaching the sound plate, and placing a battery in you test the weapon
> A small blast at the wall confirms it's working
> The deafening sound bounces off the flat surface at you
> A high pitched wail
> You take your finger off the trigger and rub your head
> Well it works
> You barely hear the ponies enter your living room
> "Wha dis bwack bawks? Haff nummies? Is bwack cowd skettie?"
> Oh fuck no.
> You run into the living room a dam chewing desperately on your controller chord unable to bite through
> "Nummies nuu tasty, nummies tuff!"
> A black unicorn with blue mane notices you
> "Hoomin munstah dis fwu-"
> You cut him off before he can even finish his sentence
> With a quick pull of the trigger the fluffy rears up and falls on his back
> "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! EAWS HUUUUUUUUWT!!! OWWWWWIIIEEEEESSS!"
> He is now rolling on the floor shitting on the wood and covering his ears
> "Huwty stawp! Nuu mowe wingie sounds! Nuu huwt smawty!"
> He manages to get on his feet and runs eyes closed right into a wall knocking himself out
> A small horn sized dent in the wall
> Fuck
> The dam is now yelling at you
> "Nuu huwt smawty! Smawty giff nummies an mummah make miwkie fow bebbehs! You nuu huwti-EEEEEE!"
> You blast her with the sound gun next
> She can't cover her ears or run from the pain
> She uses the only defense she has
> Shitting
> A liquid blast of feces sprays on the nearby wall
> You'll deal with her later
> Now you need to handle the fluffies in the kitchen
> With the smarty unconscious and dam cowering you leave them
> As you enter the kitchen another fluffy is waddling into the door frame
> A green and yellow pony
> "Why fwiends yeww? You nee' huggies? Whew f... fwiends..."
> He spots your feet as you spot him
> Slowly he cranes his head up and looks at your face
> He begins to tremble and shiver but controls his bowels
> "F... f-fwuffy sowwy take nummies... wookin fow nummies fow mummah, fwuffy nuu take nummies, fwuffy sowwy..."
> His tail is tucked under his butt and his head is down
> Well, he apologized
"Did you poop in my house?"
> "Nuu! I nuu make bad poopies! I guud fwuffy!"
"Okay then, go outside and wait for your friends"
> "O-otay mistah"
> Hmm, surprisingly well behaved
> Maybe this fluffy was a pet
> The other two aren't so well behaved
> "Whew fwiend guu? Need nummies fow mummah! Bebbehs nee' nummies! I smawty speciaw fwiend! You guu fin' nummies NOW! I HUNGWY!"
> "Fwuffy wookin! Dummy fwiend weft! Fwuffy twyin fin nummies! Dummy hoomin nuu haff nummies!"
> Dummy huh?
> You blast the stallion
> He backs up into the doggy door screaming
> It's not open, you don't have a dog, but he tries to claw his way out
> "WHY HWUTIE SOUNDS?! WHY DOOW NUU OPEN?! HEWP DOOW! NUU BE MEANIE!"
> You turn up the power and blast him again
> He simply screeches and covers his ears
> Shortly he is foaming at the mouth and twitching
> A tickle of blood flows from his ears
> Audio overload, overloaded your power too
> You remove the spent battery and replace it
> Reloaded you turn to the mare now
> "Yuu nuu huwt mummah! Mummah haff bebbehs! Nee miwkie! Dummy hoomin giff nummies ow get bad poopies!"
> Then you notice five small foals behind her
> They're just barely too young to be weaned
> They chirp loudly as they hug each other and their mother
> "Mummah, tummy huwtie! Nee nummies mummah! Fwuffy scawed mummah giff huggies pwease?"
> This bitch is gonna raise some bad fluffies
> You'll do the world a favor