Title:           Park Smarts
Author:          FluffyHarbinger
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/mxTKY91c
First Edit:      Wednesday 29th of August 2012 01:52:13 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 29th of August 2012 01:52:13 AM CDT

Park Smarts
> In suburban America sprawls a moderately sized town
> Central Park in the uptown district is packed with people once again
> Each weekend brings upper and middle class citizens to the hip and upscale locale
> Expensive restaurants and specialty shops line the vintage looking town center around the large park
> Green grass and well manicured floral displays mix with the local fauna creating a beautiful walking trail
> Were it not for the shit stained sidewalk and partially eaten displays the park would be pristine
> Citizens have complained for weeks but the mayor has finally addressed the issue
> Elections drawing near and all
> The local exterminators have all been outbid by a small extermination company
> Parking his small bus in a nearby parking lot the exterminator begins his work
> A park PA system is commandeered by the lone worker
> "Ahm... attention park visitors, extermination will begin on the premises shortly... ah.. please make your way to an exit..."
> Standing at around six feet the lanky man nervously replaces the microphone and secures the lock box
> Adjusting his thick spectacles and all blue jumpsuit with cap he returns to the bus
> After around twenty minutes most park goers have been moved out
> Barricades of bright orange plastic are set up at each entrance
> They are secured with duct tape to the ground
> With chest high brick walls around the remainder of the park the rest is easy
> Only minutes after all the people are gone fluffies are milling about the park in their stead
> Nervous mares, stallions, and foals waddle about munching on grass and any knee level foliage
> The keep a keen ear, and eye out for any humans
> Well, as keen as a fluffy can be
> Once the barricades are in place the thin man returns to his bus
> Stepping in the back he's assaulted by death threats, demands for freedom, and spaghetti among other things
> "Hello everyone, it's time to get some fluffies for your herd! Good smarties get all the fluffies into their herd!"
> The stacked pet carriers all shout back in agreement save one small fluffy cowering closest to the man
> "Fw-fwu-fwuffy nuu wan hewd... hewd guu way... Haff wowstes owies an-AIEEE!"
> A cattle prod ends his protesting for good
> The slightly stunned bunch of smarties stare at the unassuming man who simply smiles a large toothy grin
> "That my smarties, was a bad smartie. He didn't want a herd. You all want herds right?"
> Unanimous cheers for mares, friends, babies, and special hugs reign
> The carriers are secured by bungee chords to the wall, and sit upon modified tables bolted to the floor
> Below the tables sit a small box of empty garbage bags and a tool belt
> Retrieving the belt which sags around his thin waist secured only by the belt loops in the jumpsuit he smiles
> One by one the smarties are placed outside the van to the curiosity of onlookers
> "Hey son, what'er ya adding more fluffers fer? We need ya to git rid of em, not make more of em'"
> An older gentleman eyes the growing pile of babbling pet carriers with disdain
> "It'll all be revealed soon"
> Placing the last two carriers on the sidewalk the scraggly exterminator waves his hands and wiggles his fingers like a whimsical
> The old man is unimpressed, but sits around for the show anyway
> Taking two carriers at a time the exterminator releases each smarty with significant spacing
> Their collars barely visible through thick fluff
> "Now remember, good smarties can count... to ten!"
> "Hrmph! Dummy hoomin! Smawty bes smawty! Wuun... twuuuh... uh... sketties? nuu..."
> Flopping on their bottoms the smarties use each of their weggies to assist them
> This usually keeps them in place for a good two minutes before they give up
> Enough time for the jingling jumpsuit wearing man to release another smarty a distance away
> Soon all thirty of the smarties are wandering around the park
> Taking out a can of soda the exterminator sits on the brick wall observing
> Freed from having to keep the smarties in a confined area by the convenient wall
> "What'er these fluffers gonna do? Ye trained em tah kill fer ya?"
> Smiling the frizzy man sets his beverage down
> "Nope."
> Confused the small crowd continues to watch
> For around five minutes nothing happens
> Fluffies all wander around eating, pooping, and fucking like normal
> Then the smarties encounter the first park fluffies
> "Fwuffy Smawty! Fwuffy wissen tuu smawty! Join hewd! Get nummies!"
> The first target is stallion
> "... Otay!"
> It begins
> Before ten minutes is up each smarty has at least five fluffies following
> Then the mares are encountered
> "Oou join smawtie hewd! Giff speciaw huggies an nummies! Haff bebbehs! Hewd wuv bebbehs!"
> "Nuu, fwuffeh nuu wan dummie hewd, wike fwiends, nuu wike du-eee!"
> The smarties beat, threaten, coerce, and poop obedience into the fluffies
> Mothers with foals have them slain before them sometimes
> Some stallion fathers are beaten to death by former friends
> Most simply capitulate and join the smartie they encounter first
> In only two hours nearly every fluffie has been dragged out of holes, bushes, burrows, benches, hollows, and flower gardens into one herd or another
> The crowd watches on, interested but not enthralled
> "So they're in groups now, what happens to em?"
> Jumping from his perch on the wall the exterminator smiles wickedly
> "Now the fun starts"
> With a full tool belt and only time to kill the exterminator heads out into the park grinning
> Finding an abandoned foal the exterminator lays him out on the concrete near the large fountain in the center of the park
> "huuu huuu huuu mistaw! huu huu huu meanie take mummah! *sniff* hewp babbeh?"
> The hammer strikes a leg before the foal can emit anything else
> "EEEEEEEEEEE!"
> Soon smarties in the local area are all rushing to the site
> "Whew bebbeh? Hewp bebbeh! Join hewd! Giff nummies! Wuv bebbeh!"
> The first smarty has around twenty fluffies and tries to hug the foal into health
> Before he can finish a big hug a second smarty shows up
> "Yuu huwt bebbeh! Hewd! Giff biggest owies!"
> These two killed over five foals each while forming their herds
> Now they're willing to kill over a single injured one?
> Parental instinct kicks in at the strangest times
> With both herds tearing each other apart the exterminator steps in
> First checking on his bait, which was unsurprisingly crushed to death in the scrum, he scans the now yelling fluffies for any surviving foals
> Three are discovered and placed in a Tupperware container for later use
> Mothers and mares try desperately to open the plastic container while stallions threaten the man
> "Yuu giff bebbehs back ow smawtie giff owies!"
> "Nuu! Yuu giff back bebbesh ow smawtie giff owies!"
> The two smarties are bickering
> Picking up his smarties the exterminator hog ties them and places the immobile fluffies in a nearby clearing
> They yell and growl for freedom
> Giving each fluffy a much needed bath is the first method of extermination
> And by bath of course I mean the fluffies are held by their tails and dunked into the water for a good ten seconds
> They gasp for breath instinctively despite being immersed in water and are effectively dead after only a few seconds
> Their bodies thrash and go limp one by one
> The soggy corpses are thrown into trash bags
> Foals continue to whine and soon all fluffies from these herds are dead
> The whole process is repeated many times that day
> Sometimes groups of three or more show up
> Other times only one group
> Drowning, hammering, neck breaking, ductape to cut off air, ziptie nooses, blowtorch to the skull, metal brush proctological exams
> The method differs, but the result is the same
> By days end no fluffy is left alive in the park
> Save the thirty odd smarties that are still hogtied in the nearby clearing
> Totally unaware of the demise of their respective herds
> This method is time consuming, but highly effective
> Somehow smarties are able to root out nearly any fluffy within their "territory"
> Which they define arbitrarily as "everything"
> Releasing so many smarties at once simply speeds up the process which normally takes a week in this sized area
> Retrieving the pet carriers and replacing his smarties the bus is loaded with garbage bags
> Carriers face the wall lest they try to bite the bags and catch a whiff of the fresh bodies within
> Can't have the smarties traumatized
> As he removes the barricade and contacts the park services the old man speaks to the young exterminator once more
> "Sonny, that was some show, but... you've got somethin on yer face..."
> Embarrassed the exterminator touches his cheeks and looks for any fluids
> The old man smiles and lightly punches his arm
> "It's a smile aftah such a good day's work!"
> Indeed, a toothy grin spreads from ear to ear
> It hasn't disappeared since the fun began earlier in the day