Title:           Yard Friends
Author:          Fluffapaloosa
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/XVyFD6Dy
First Edit:      Tuesday 12th of June 2012 02:02:00 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 12th of June 2012 02:02:00 AM CDT

>Fluffy is well behaved so you give her privileges.
>She is allowed to roam the house while you're at work.
>There is a doggy door to the backyard if she wants to play outside.
>For the six months you've had her she hasn't once gotten hurt, broken something, or pooped outside the litterbox.
>Considering you got her when she was two weeks old, she basically has a clean record.
>That doesn't take into account how fluffies act when they're in heat, though.
>Come back from work.
>You open the door and call for fluffy.
>Strange, usually it's her favorite part of the day to give you hugs when you come back.
>Since she could be inside or outside, you have a lot of ground to cover to find her.
>Already starting to look like a bad idea giving her privileges.
>Search her safe room, your bedroom, kitchen, everywhere, but no fluffy.
>Okay she must be outside then.
>Look out the back door.
>Phew, yep she's there, sitting in the middle of the grass.
>Wait, what the fuck?
>Your fluffy is orange, and from where you are you can see orange, and grey.
>There's a stray fluffy in your yard!
>Immediately run out to where she is.
>Gonna figure out how it could have gotten in through your stone fence later.
>As you approach, the fluffies notice and they both get into a frenzy of happy babbling.
"Fluffy what the fuck is this?"
>"New fwend daddy!"
>"Hi mista! You new fwuffy daddeh?"
>They always think the next person they see is their new daddy or mommy.
>"Fwuffy wuv speshew fwend..."
>When she says this they both embrace in hugging with the most retarded smiles you've ever seen.
"Special friend? What the hell?"
>"Speshew fwend is husban! Wuv fwuffy husban!"
>"Wuv wifey. Gave speshew huggies, gif babehs."
>Disgusting, she mated with this street trash, shit-encrusted grey fluffy.
>You pick her up by her neck as they're nuzzling each other's fluff.
"He is NOT your husband! You are being a very BAD fluffy!"
>She's never been called a bad fluffy before, so she's very sensitive to the word.
>"B-Bu-But f-f-fwuffy good fwuffy. Pwease daddeh. No am bad fwuffy. Wuv husban..."
>The stray gets mad that you took his fuck whore away from him.
>"Put fwuffy wifey down! Gif meanie ouchie bitey!"
>He charges at your leg and starts gnawing on your pants.
>Gross, stray fluffy saliva.
"And you, you think you can just invade my yard and fuck my innocent fluffy?"
>"Munsta stoopid. Dat fwuffy wifey, she haf babehs soon! Husban babehs!"
"Well, you two are officially divorced. And if she is pregnant, those babies aren't yours anymore, they're mine!"
>When faced with the loss of his new family he becomes submissive.
>"Nuuu! Pwease munsta! No take wifey an' babehs!"
"You idiot, she was never your wife and they were never your babies, you piece of shit."
>In fact, you should've never wasted this much time arguing with a fluffy.
>Boot him straight into the (stone) fence.
>"Owwwiieess! Why huwt fwuffy?!" as he slams into the bricks.
>Blood starts seeping from his nose and mouth.
>Your mare finally speaks up again.
>"Pwease daddy! Nu huwt husban pwease! Fwuffy babeh's daddeh!"
"Oh I'll hurt him. You're just lucky I won't kill him."
>Pick him up and toss him on to the other side.
>"HUSBAAANNNN!" your fluffy's last words to him.
>Hear "Waaahhh!" from the stray.
>He's alive, you fulfilled your word.
>But he won't last long.
>There's a busy street on the other side of your fence. Intersections in each direction.
>Dumbass fluffy will walk into traffic for sure... or bleed out.
>Go inside with your fluffy before you might hear a car screeching.
>Set her down on a table.
>She's sobbing uncontrollably, snot and tears pouring over her face.
>"Hu-hiccup-Husban...babehs daddeh..."
"Listen to me very closely and repeat. 'Grey fluffy is a bad fluffy. He is not a husband.' If you don't I'll kill your wretched spawn."
>"Why huwt husban?..."
"Shut up! Repeat these words! 'Grey fluffy is a bad fluffy! He is not a husband!'"
>"Pwease daddeh...Fwuffy haf babehs..."
>"I'm not repeating it for you again. Now you have one last chance, or you lose your babies and you're alone in your safe room forever."
>"G-Gwey fwuffy...is bad fwuffy... Fwuffy nu is husban..."
"You have no special friend. You have no husband. You just have your daddy."
>"Fwuffy nu haf speshew fwend. Nu haf husban... Haf daddy."
"Good. When or if you have your babies you better feel grateful."
>"Fwuffy wuv babehs..."
>You put her in her safe room and lock the door.
>By now she's practically catatonic.
>....
>Oh, you have a funny idea!
>Grab camera and run outside.
>Look over the fence.
>The grey stallion is still there, licking his sores and sobbing.
"Hey asshole!"
>The bloodied fluffy looks up to you.
>Snap picture.
"Fuck you!"
>Flip him off, extra mature.
>Spit on the pathetic fluffy.
>Go inside and make an 8" by 12" of the picture.
>Open the door to fluffy's safe room.
"Hey precious, I have a surprise!"
>"Supwise?..."
>Tape the picture of the beaten fluffy to the wall, just out of reach of fluffy.
>"Husb..."
"WHAT?!"
>"Wuv you daddeh..."
>You are so good at this fluffy ownership thing.