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Yard Friends

By: Fluffapaloosa on Jun 12th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 5.04 KB  |  hits: 250  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Fluffy is well behaved so you give her privileges.
  2. >She is allowed to roam the house while you're at work.
  3. >There is a doggy door to the backyard if she wants to play outside.
  4. >For the six months you've had her she hasn't once gotten hurt, broken something, or pooped outside the litterbox.
  5. >Considering you got her when she was two weeks old, she basically has a clean record.
  6. >That doesn't take into account how fluffies act when they're in heat, though.
  7. >Come back from work.
  8. >You open the door and call for fluffy.
  9. >Strange, usually it's her favorite part of the day to give you hugs when you come back.
  10. >Since she could be inside or outside, you have a lot of ground to cover to find her.
  11. >Already starting to look like a bad idea giving her privileges.
  12. >Search her safe room, your bedroom, kitchen, everywhere, but no fluffy.
  13. >Okay she must be outside then.
  14. >Look out the back door.
  15. >Phew, yep she's there, sitting in the middle of the grass.
  16. >Wait, what the fuck?
  17. >Your fluffy is orange, and from where you are you can see orange, and grey.
  18. >There's a stray fluffy in your yard!
  19. >Immediately run out to where she is.
  20. >Gonna figure out how it could have gotten in through your stone fence later.
  21. >As you approach, the fluffies notice and they both get into a frenzy of happy babbling.
  22. "Fluffy what the fuck is this?"
  23. >"New fwend daddy!"
  24. >"Hi mista! You new fwuffy daddeh?"
  25. >They always think the next person they see is their new daddy or mommy.
  26. >"Fwuffy wuv speshew fwend..."
  27. >When she says this they both embrace in hugging with the most retarded smiles you've ever seen.
  28. "Special friend? What the hell?"
  29. >"Speshew fwend is husban! Wuv fwuffy husban!"
  30. >"Wuv wifey. Gave speshew huggies, gif babehs."
  31. >Disgusting, she mated with this street trash, shit-encrusted grey fluffy.
  32. >You pick her up by her neck as they're nuzzling each other's fluff.
  33. "He is NOT your husband! You are being a very BAD fluffy!"
  34. >She's never been called a bad fluffy before, so she's very sensitive to the word.
  35. >"B-Bu-But f-f-fwuffy good fwuffy. Pwease daddeh. No am bad fwuffy. Wuv husban..."
  36. >The stray gets mad that you took his fuck whore away from him.
  37. >"Put fwuffy wifey down! Gif meanie ouchie bitey!"
  38. >He charges at your leg and starts gnawing on your pants.
  39. >Gross, stray fluffy saliva.
  40. "And you, you think you can just invade my yard and fuck my innocent fluffy?"
  41. >"Munsta stoopid. Dat fwuffy wifey, she haf babehs soon! Husban babehs!"
  42. "Well, you two are officially divorced. And if she is pregnant, those babies aren't yours anymore, they're mine!"
  43. >When faced with the loss of his new family he becomes submissive.
  44. >"Nuuu! Pwease munsta! No take wifey an' babehs!"
  45. "You idiot, she was never your wife and they were never your babies, you piece of shit."
  46. >In fact, you should've never wasted this much time arguing with a fluffy.
  47. >Boot him straight into the (stone) fence.
  48. >"Owwwiieess! Why huwt fwuffy?!" as he slams into the bricks.
  49. >Blood starts seeping from his nose and mouth.
  50. >Your mare finally speaks up again.
  51. >"Pwease daddy! Nu huwt husban pwease! Fwuffy babeh's daddeh!"
  52. "Oh I'll hurt him. You're just lucky I won't kill him."
  53. >Pick him up and toss him on to the other side.
  54. >"HUSBAAANNNN!" your fluffy's last words to him.
  55. >Hear "Waaahhh!" from the stray.
  56. >He's alive, you fulfilled your word.
  57. >But he won't last long.
  58. >There's a busy street on the other side of your fence. Intersections in each direction.
  59. >Dumbass fluffy will walk into traffic for sure... or bleed out.
  60. >Go inside with your fluffy before you might hear a car screeching.
  61. >Set her down on a table.
  62. >She's sobbing uncontrollably, snot and tears pouring over her face.
  63. >"Hu-hiccup-Husban...babehs daddeh..."
  64. "Listen to me very closely and repeat. 'Grey fluffy is a bad fluffy. He is not a husband.' If you don't I'll kill your wretched spawn."
  65. >"Why huwt husban?..."
  66. "Shut up! Repeat these words! 'Grey fluffy is a bad fluffy! He is not a husband!'"
  67. >"Pwease daddeh...Fwuffy haf babehs..."
  68. >"I'm not repeating it for you again. Now you have one last chance, or you lose your babies and you're alone in your safe room forever."
  69. >"G-Gwey fwuffy...is bad fwuffy... Fwuffy nu is husban..."
  70. "You have no special friend. You have no husband. You just have your daddy."
  71. >"Fwuffy nu haf speshew fwend. Nu haf husban... Haf daddy."
  72. "Good. When or if you have your babies you better feel grateful."
  73. >"Fwuffy wuv babehs..."
  74. >You put her in her safe room and lock the door.
  75. >By now she's practically catatonic.
  76. >....
  77. >Oh, you have a funny idea!
  78. >Grab camera and run outside.
  79. >Look over the fence.
  80. >The grey stallion is still there, licking his sores and sobbing.
  81. "Hey asshole!"
  82. >The bloodied fluffy looks up to you.
  83. >Snap picture.
  84. "Fuck you!"
  85. >Flip him off, extra mature.
  86. >Spit on the pathetic fluffy.
  87. >Go inside and make an 8" by 12" of the picture.
  88. >Open the door to fluffy's safe room.
  89. "Hey precious, I have a surprise!"
  90. >"Supwise?..."
  91. >Tape the picture of the beaten fluffy to the wall, just out of reach of fluffy.
  92. >"Husb..."
  93. "WHAT?!"
  94. >"Wuv you daddeh..."
  95. >You are so good at this fluffy ownership thing.
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