- 1/?
- >Own a blue pegasus fluffy mare.
- >Name her Melanie.
- >She was always a brat straight from the shelter.
- >Unfortunately the place didn't have free return, no switching, nothing.
- >You're stuck with her.
- >She's cute whenever she plays, or when you both sit in front of the TV and you pet her and give her head scratches.
- >But any other time she is a complete disaster.
- >You wouldn't wish this on your worst enemies.
- >At least two hours before any meal she begins her demands.
- >"Daddy! Mewanie wan' foodies! Wan' sketties NAOW!! Huwwy up daddeh!" she wails.
- >You leave a food bowl out for her to eat from at any time, but it's full of fluffy chow.
- >Usually she'll never touch it, even when demanding food.
- >It always comes down to her wanting spaghetti.
- >Most of the time you'll meet her demands and make the spaghetti, pouring it into her "second" food bowl.
- >What a fucking glutton.
- >She eats a human-sized bowl of spaghetti every meal, isn't that enough?
- >You're woken up every day at 4:30 by her insescant nagging for more food.
- >How the hell does she know to wake up then? It's not like she has an alarm clock.
- >Should give her some sleeping pills sometime.
- >Nah, not worth the money.
- >If you're not in the mood for playing, she doesn't give any fucks at all.
- >Watching TV after work.
- >"Daddy! Mewanie wan' pway baww ouwside! Open doow!"
- "Aren't you supposed to say please when you ask for something Melanie?" giving her a hint here.
- >"NUU! NU ASK! WAN' OUWSIDE DUMMY DADDY!!"
- >It's really starting to hurt your ears.
- >Let her outside just so she'll stop with that pounding voice.
- >Of course she let's out an equally disturbing squeal to be let in after only 2 minutes.
- >Every few days you empty out the dirty litter from her litterbox in the safety room.
- >You could swear that she feels a sense of superiority from you picking up her shit.
- >She just stares at you when you do it, with a disgusting smirk on her face.
- >One day you can barely hear an audible, "Das wight. Pick up poopies" coming from the other side of the room.
- >That's it.
- >Finally get her to sleep one night, after she is tucked into her blankets and demands three stories from you.
- >You spend the next few hours before going to bed that night thinking of a plan.
- >Something involving justice.
- >You set your alarm for 4:15...
- >Eh it's a weekend, fuck sleep.
- 2/?
- >It begins
- >Open the door of the safety room a crack.
- >She's still sleeping.
- >You stalk into the room. Holding pots and pans and an air horn.
- >Set down your tools of justice.
- >Pick up the air horn.
- >3...2...1...
- >Air horn fills the room.
- >Melanie immediately jumps at least half a foot from the floor.
- >She pisses herself instantly.
- >Whatever, they're not your blankets to sleep in.
- >After a few seconds you turn off the air horn.
- >The fluffy finally reacts, "WAAAAAHHHH!! WOUD NOISE HUWT FWUFFY EA-".
- >Before she can finish you've picked up the pots and pans and begin banging them together loudly.
- >Once again after a few seconds you stop the audio onslaught.
- >She confronts you in a half mad, half sad tone.
- >"WHY DADDY DO DIS?! WHY MAKE WOUD NOISIES IN FWUFFY WOO-"
- >You cut her off again.
- "It's time to wakey wakey Melanie! It's morning! That means breakfast! I'm hungry and I want food now!".
- >She is so confused. Usually it's her job to be the head bitch in the house.
- >"NUUU! DADDY MAKE NUMMIES FO' MEWANIE! DADDY GO MAKE NUMMIES!!" she's defending her position, slightly puffing out her cheeks.
- "Nope. Not today. Today you make the food for me. I'll share my food with you once you've made it."
- >"Mewanie no wan' make nummies!"
- "Well what are you going to do? I'm not going to make it, so who is?"
- >She's getting frustrated. But she thinks maybe she can still show her superiority.
- >"Fin'! Mewanie show stoopit daddy how make good nummies! Daddy make dummy nummies, Mewanie make goo' nummies! Make sketties! An' eat aww of it!"
- "Fine. Lead me to the kitchen."
- >She's still groggy from just waking up suddenly, so you give her little shoves with your foot all the way to the kitchen.