Title:           Stinging Eyes
Author:          Fluffapaloosa
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/j0vj0RRu
First Edit:      Sunday 10th of June 2012 02:34:33 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 10th of June 2012 02:34:33 PM CDT

>Fluffy got himself dirty playing in the yard again.
>As soon as he is let out he runs to the grass and shits.
>Then proceeds to forget he shit and rolls around, in the shit.
>After a yelp of "No smeww pwetty" he rolls in the dirt patch in an attempt to get the poop off.
>Sometimes the smell even causes him to vomit.
>Why does he do this? He's obviously not enjoying it.
>Result, a rancid fluffy.
>This doesn't happen often enough to keep him inside indefinitely.
>Fluffy needs to be let outside sometimes to play and get exercise.
>You tell him to go out there, do his business, play with the ball, stay clean, then come back to the sliding glass door.
>Not roll around in dirt, mud, grass and shit.
>Baths are common for your fluffy.
>He actually enjoys baths.
>Lucky for him you use soothing warm water and children's shampoo, exclusively meant to be none-painful to the eyes.
>But today, you're all out of that, gonna have to use yours.
>You set fluffy down into the bath.
>When you start running the water he knows what's coming.
>"Yay! baff! Wawa wawm! Fwuffy wuv wawm! Wuv bubbwes!"
>Once the tub is full, well still enough for him to stand in, you put the bubble-bath in.
>Fluffy is waving his forehooves in the air and splashing water and bubbles all around.
>The giggling echoes throughout the bathroom.
>Now comes the shampoo.
>You take the bottle, invert it, and dump a huge gob of it right onto his head.
>It takes a few seconds, but once the shampoo reaches his eyes...
>Fluffy let's out an ear-splitting scream.
>"OWWWWWIIIIEESSS!! WAWA HUWT FWUFFY!! FWUFFY BUWNING!!"
>He starts flailing, not happily, but in a panic.
"Shut up you moron! If you didn't get dirty so often this wouldn't have happened."
>He attempts to fix it by rubbing his hooves, which now also have shampoo on them, in his eyes.
>"WAAAAHHHH!! PWEASE DADDY! MAKE OUCHIES STAWP!"
>You scrub all over his little fluffy body.
>Unintended side-effect. Apparently it's not just his eyes that get stung by the shampoo.
>Once the shampoo mixes into the water thoroughly, fluffy let's out another wave of wailing.
>"Poopie pwace?! Nu huwt poopie pwace pwease!! Waaahhh"
>The shampoo is stinging every open orifice on the fluffy.
"Ahh come on buddy, isn't the water nice and warm?"
>His panic eventually calms to quiet sobbing.
>"Wawm wawa huwt fwuffy. Meanie wawa..."
>You dump a cup full of water on the fluffy while using your other hand you close his mouth and nose.
>Finish off the washing off of the fluffy.
>Fluffy looks so pathetic when it's fluff is soaked.
>This fluffy doesn't deserve the blow dryer today.
>Dry off his fluff with a towel.
>His fluff is still slightly moist when you're done.
>Pick fluffy up and hold him at eye level.
"So, what did you learn about going outside today little guy? You gonna play with your ball and not get dirty?"
>Fluffy holds a pondering look on his face for a while.
>"Fwuffy wuv ouwside! Make poopies an' woll in gwassies an' diwt! Fwuffy ge' poopies an' not pwetties on fwuffy..."
>Can't tell if stupid or if he was getting dirty cause he wanted you to give him a bath.
>Well he definitely hates those now.
"Hmm... well I guess it's time for another bath!"
>"NUUUUUUU!!!"