Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)
Public Pastes
Guest

Stinging Eyes

By: Fluffapaloosa on Jun 10th, 2012  |  syntax: None  |  size: 3.17 KB  |  hits: 246  |  expires: Never
download  |  raw  |  embed  |  report abuse  |  print
Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)
  1. >Fluffy got himself dirty playing in the yard again.
  2. >As soon as he is let out he runs to the grass and shits.
  3. >Then proceeds to forget he shit and rolls around, in the shit.
  4. >After a yelp of "No smeww pwetty" he rolls in the dirt patch in an attempt to get the poop off.
  5. >Sometimes the smell even causes him to vomit.
  6. >Why does he do this? He's obviously not enjoying it.
  7. >Result, a rancid fluffy.
  8. >This doesn't happen often enough to keep him inside indefinitely.
  9. >Fluffy needs to be let outside sometimes to play and get exercise.
  10. >You tell him to go out there, do his business, play with the ball, stay clean, then come back to the sliding glass door.
  11. >Not roll around in dirt, mud, grass and shit.
  12. >Baths are common for your fluffy.
  13. >He actually enjoys baths.
  14. >Lucky for him you use soothing warm water and children's shampoo, exclusively meant to be none-painful to the eyes.
  15. >But today, you're all out of that, gonna have to use yours.
  16. >You set fluffy down into the bath.
  17. >When you start running the water he knows what's coming.
  18. >"Yay! baff! Wawa wawm! Fwuffy wuv wawm! Wuv bubbwes!"
  19. >Once the tub is full, well still enough for him to stand in, you put the bubble-bath in.
  20. >Fluffy is waving his forehooves in the air and splashing water and bubbles all around.
  21. >The giggling echoes throughout the bathroom.
  22. >Now comes the shampoo.
  23. >You take the bottle, invert it, and dump a huge gob of it right onto his head.
  24. >It takes a few seconds, but once the shampoo reaches his eyes...
  25. >Fluffy let's out an ear-splitting scream.
  26. >"OWWWWWIIIIEESSS!! WAWA HUWT FWUFFY!! FWUFFY BUWNING!!"
  27. >He starts flailing, not happily, but in a panic.
  28. "Shut up you moron! If you didn't get dirty so often this wouldn't have happened."
  29. >He attempts to fix it by rubbing his hooves, which now also have shampoo on them, in his eyes.
  30. >"WAAAAHHHH!! PWEASE DADDY! MAKE OUCHIES STAWP!"
  31. >You scrub all over his little fluffy body.
  32. >Unintended side-effect. Apparently it's not just his eyes that get stung by the shampoo.
  33. >Once the shampoo mixes into the water thoroughly, fluffy let's out another wave of wailing.
  34. >"Poopie pwace?! Nu huwt poopie pwace pwease!! Waaahhh"
  35. >The shampoo is stinging every open orifice on the fluffy.
  36. "Ahh come on buddy, isn't the water nice and warm?"
  37. >His panic eventually calms to quiet sobbing.
  38. >"Wawm wawa huwt fwuffy. Meanie wawa..."
  39. >You dump a cup full of water on the fluffy while using your other hand you close his mouth and nose.
  40. >Finish off the washing off of the fluffy.
  41. >Fluffy looks so pathetic when it's fluff is soaked.
  42. >This fluffy doesn't deserve the blow dryer today.
  43. >Dry off his fluff with a towel.
  44. >His fluff is still slightly moist when you're done.
  45. >Pick fluffy up and hold him at eye level.
  46. "So, what did you learn about going outside today little guy? You gonna play with your ball and not get dirty?"
  47. >Fluffy holds a pondering look on his face for a while.
  48. >"Fwuffy wuv ouwside! Make poopies an' woll in gwassies an' diwt! Fwuffy ge' poopies an' not pwetties on fwuffy..."
  49. >Can't tell if stupid or if he was getting dirty cause he wanted you to give him a bath.
  50. >Well he definitely hates those now.
  51. "Hmm... well I guess it's time for another bath!"
  52. >"NUUUUUUU!!!"
create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data