Title:           Tales From a Fluffy Rehab
Author:          Fluff_n_Stuff
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/CUHFc9im
First Edit:      Thursday 31st of May 2012 11:07:07 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 31st of May 2012 11:07:07 AM CDT

>own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
>get lots of abused fluffy ponies
>lots of amputees too
>Amputee fluffies get tiny skateboards to push themselves around on
>they crash a lot, but they're not fast, so it's okay
>burned fluffies get fluff transplants
>most don't make it though
>feral fluffies get neutered and reintegrated into fluffy society
>"smawty fwiends" get quietly removed and humanely put down before they can start trouble
>worst are the psychologically abused fluffies
>entire wing full of fluffies saying "wan die" every time someone walks past their cage
>rehab by having happy fluffies give "huggies" and "pway" them till they're normal again
>offset cost of fluffy pony rehab by selling fluffy pony brand fertilizer
>everyone says your job is a waste of time, and you should be bashing them with a shovel
>you don't have a shovel though
>you have fluffy ponies to take care of
 
>you own a fluffy pony vet and rehab center
>lately, you've been getting a lot of abused fluffies
>spring apparently makes people crazy
>abused fluffies are making good progress and this batch is ready for adoption
>except for one
>he's still saying "wan die" every time you let the fluffies out to "pway"
>time for fluffy counseling
>take fluffy to the kennel
>floor is still damp from that whole fluffy cannibal rebellion fiasco
>put fluffy in "THE ROOM" to start counseling
>"Now, fluffy, why do you want to die?"
>"feww bad all da time," he says
>"What about your friends? Wouldn’t they miss you if something happened?"
>"fwuffies not fwiens, they dumb. Fwuffies go 'way aww da time, dey nevah know. aww fwiend go 'way"
>Holy shit, this guy's miserable because he's smart
>self awareness for fluffies rarely pays off.
>New tactic!
>get fluffy euthanasia tool from the wall safe
>It's a .22 pistol
>"Tell you what, fuzzball, you want to die, I'll do it?
>chamber a round, and point the gun at the fluffy
>finger off the trigger, don't want an accidet
>"Just a thump and you're gone."
>"weawwy?" he perks up. "yoo kiww fwuffy?"
>"I don't want to, but if that's what makes you happy, i'll do it."
>" kiww fwuffy!" he says, hopping up and down on the floor. "pwease kiww fwuffy!"
>"But dead fluffies don't get spaghetti or hugs, or friends anymore."
>he settles down, looking confused
>"You don't get play time or anything. You just go into the incinerator and burn."
>the fluffy seems to be thinking really hard about it
>"no skettis if die?"
>nope.avi
>"no huggies? no dumb fwiends?"
>nope.avu
>fluffy is still thinking it over.
>"now wan die anymowe. wan skettis and huggies and fwiends. Even if fwiends awe dumb."
>"you sure? All I have to do is pull the trigger and you're gone."
>"i suwe"
>"Next time we come in here, you're getting puit down, understand. No more 'wan die' because I'll do it."
>"no mowe wan die, i pwomise"
>unload gun, and put it away
>take fluffy out to join the rest of the herd
>fluffy starts playing with friends and he seems happy
>you smile at yet another rehabbed fluffy
 
>own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
>fluffies by the dozen show up every day, get sorted by problem
>abandoned ones go with "new fwiends"
>keep finding fluffies torn apart in the mornings
>mount up some cameras to find out WTF is going on
>reviewing security tapes
>to many characters, not enough plot
>heh, plot
>finally see what's been happening
>some of the abandoned fluffies are EATING other fluffies
>holy shit
>separate out cannibal fluffies, try to think of way to rehab them
>might have to just put them down like the "smawty fwiends"
>put cannibal fluffies into the kennels to be humanely euthanized tomorrow
> close up for the evening
>thenextday.jpg
>feed fluffies, clean safe rooms
>give amputee fluffies their skateboards, let herd out to "pway" and "give huggies" to abused fluffies
>rehab seems to be working, huzzah
>open up kennels
>herd of fluffies attack!
>biting at your ankles, screaming "kiww munster!" "eat munster!"
>some break the skin before you shut them back into the kennel room
>what the actual fuck
>you look back into the room, the "smawty fwiend" is standing on a chair yelling at the cannibal fluffies
>"kiww da munster! he pay for takin' us awaw fwom fwiends!"
>fucking fluffy pony revolution, now what?
>turn on sprinkler to kennel
>fluffies start screaming, running around in a panic
>"only wain!" the "smawty fwiend" yells. "hold nosies not dwown!"
>make a mental note to euthanize that "smawty fwiend" immediately
>fluffies don't drown for a change
>shit
>your eyes catch sight of the tool cabinet
>open it up to find "fluffy memory reset unit," a high powered tazer wand
>these things are kind of mean, and you don't like using them
>all fluffies should have the chance to be rehabbed, but this is kind of an emergency
> fluffies still haven't drowned, but the floor is soaked
>water starts to leak underneath door
>set off tazer in puddle
>fluffy cannibals vibrate and fall to the ground
>open door to fluffies in flux
>"smawty fwiend" points a hoof at you, says "I wiww not be bwoken!"
>crack "smawty fwiend" upside the head with the tazer
>the hell you won't, you rebellious turd
>turn off sprinklers, gather up fluffies so they don't drown
>thenextday.jpg
>kennel full of happy "pwaying" fluffies
>no fluffies have been eaten
>everything went better than expected
 
>own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
>business is booming, gotta hire a new fluffy tech after your last one got rabies
>new guy works hard, loves fluffies, but he's kinda dim
>training for human euthanasia
>new employee sits on chair, bring in abused fluffy that "wan' die"
>break out the silenced .22, explain four rules of gun safety
>"I'm going to shoot him?"
>"Only if you can't talk him out of it."
>New tech fumbles with gun, loads a round
>"Uh, fluffy, do you want to die?" he asks
>"wan die. pwease kiww fluffy?"
>"You sure about that little guy?" he asks, waving the gun around.
>"Rule two."
>"Sorry, man" he says, and points the gun back at fluffy
>"I mean if you're dead, there's no skettis and no huggies."
>sigh
>"Don't baby talk to them."
>"Sorry, man."
>>"No skettis if die?" says fluffy
>he's got a finger on the trigger and he's shaking pretty bad
>"Get your booger hook off the bang switch!"
>dude jumps
>"no wan' die th..."
>gun goes off
>fluffy splatters against the wall
 
>you own a fluffy pony vet and rehab center
>someone brings in a fluffy that's been attacked by some kind of creature
>he's in bad shape, and you might not be able to save him
>put him in the fluffy care ward with the amputee fluffies so even if he does pass, he won't be alone
>the next day
>fluffy pony is cranky and sleepy, but otherwise healing okay
>he eats fluffy chow, but keeps throwing up
>the fluffy gets less fluffy over the next few days
>he's getting mean and pulling out his fluff
>once he starts biting to other fluffies, you put him in solitary
>"no wan go!" he yells. "wan be with fwiends!"
>"Friends don't bite each other, fuzz-ball."
>fluffy bangs on cage door and starts screaming
>"fuk yoo humman! i fukking kiww yoo!"
>the hell?
>"What did you just say?"
>fluffy starts tearing out more of his fluff and smashing against the door with all his fluffy might
>"I FUKKIN KIWW YOU!"
>fluffy pony goes off on a tirade that would make a Tourette's patient blush
>fluffy pony is foaming at the mouth as he smashes the sides of the carrier with his face
>oh shit, rabid fluffy pony
>you didn't even know they could GET rabies
>take cage to THE ROOM
>employee is in there, smoking weed
>"Oh, shit, bro,  didn't know you were here. I know you hate killi' them, lemme take care of that little guy for you.
>"Don't touch him, he's got..."
>fluffy bites idiot emplyee
>"Dude, what the hell?"
>He's got rabies, you idiot. Get your ass to the hospital before you die."
>drop cage of the floor, get fluffy euthanizer from the wall safe
>"I KIWW YOU !"
>silenced .22 to the forehead, and the fluffy drops like a rock
>poor little guy
>make a mental note to fire idiot employee
 
>own fluffy pony vet and rehab center
>kennel for human euthansia is full because of the rabid fluffy pony incident
>so many cursing little fluffies is tragically adorable
>tragidorable?
>worse still, you've got a "smawty fwiend" to deal with
>toss "smawty fwiend" into THE ROOM
>drop dish of spaghetti on the floor, spiked with cough syrup
>the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, holy-fuck-this-will-kill-a-fluffy-in-five minutes medicine
>"yoo gonna kiww me, hooman?"
>"Yes, I am."
>"why yoo hate fwuffies?"
>"I love them, that's why I try to make them better."
>"then why kiww smawty fwiend? i is fwuffie too."
> "Because smarty friends think they're better than people, and that arrogance will get your herd killed."
>"wha arrogen? no wan die"
>"You gotta go, fuzzball. Enjoy your last meal."
>"NO WAN DIE!" he yells, puffing up his cheeks.
>adorable
>"I'm really busy, so just eat the spaghetti, would you?"
>"I KIWW YOU."
>"Eat your damn spaghetti."
>"smawty fwiend" knocks over the bowl, and tosses it at you
>it flies about two feet
>sigh
>grab fluffy by scruff
>"PU ME DOWN! I KIWW YOO!"
>dump fluffy into incinerator
>yelling will probably continue till you turn it on
>head back out to kennel full of cursing fluffies with a big pot of spaghetti and a jug of cough syrup
>it's gonna be a long day