Title:           Give her the Macaw
Author:          FitzAiE
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/GQVr3wiW
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of January 2013 08:07:48 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of January 2013 08:07:48 PM CDT

>You are woken from your sleep be a light rapping at your door.
>Slipping out of your bed and into your slippers you rub your eyes and turn on the lamp.
>Slowly walking over to the door you look out window and see what you had expected.
>Opening It you say.
“Come to guess my fetish again Fluttershy? It’s Saturday I’m trying to sleep int…”
>”No, that’s not why I’m here.”
“Why do you keep- Oh, well why are you here then?”
>She’s not here to guess your fetish? That’s strange.
>”Well Anon, since you refuse to accept any advances from any mares and you keep yourself locked up in your house constantly, I figured you might need a friend.”
“Yeah… I’m not interested in “friends with benefits””
>”Not that kind of friend Anon, come with me, we’re going to get you a pet!”
>A pet? That could be fun. It’s not like you can fall back asleep now anyway.
>Celestia seemed fit to make your house about a block away from Fluttershy’s so you arrive at her house quick, but the walk was silent.
>She invites you into the house and you take a seat on the couch, it’s rather small for you, but it’s fine.
>”Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’m fine, thank you. So what kind of pets are we talking about?”
>She inhales deeply and floats up into the air, you know where this is going.
>”Now Anon my dear, I can not express my delight!”
“please stop”
>”It’s abundantly clear that some where out here is a pet that will-“
“STOP”
>”Oh okay, well I’m sure I have something you would like. I’ll be right back!”
>She floats away into the other room and you’re stuck in the room staring around thinking.
>Enter Fluttershy with a large clear container.
“What’s in that?”
>She floats right down in your face and shows you.
>A big as fucking spider.
“GETTHATAWAYFROMMEBEFOREISHOVEITUPYOURASS!”
>She shrinks and flies away.
>”I guess you don’t like spiders.”
“What gave that away?”
>”Well how about a snail?”
>You just look at her.
>”Alright, alright. Come with me.”
>She leads you back outside and into a shed like building.
>The squawking isn’t as annoying at you would expect, but the birds that fill the room are beautiful.
>So many colors and sizes. You’ve always liked birds
>”How about this beautiful blue jay?”
>It flutters down and lands on your shoulder.
“It’s nice, but I don’t know. What else do you have?”
>”What do you think of this Crimson Macaw?”
“It- it’s beautiful!”
>It’s powdery white face runs into layered red. The crimson flows down into a tidal wave of colors ranging from yellow to blue and green. It sits perched on tree limb jutting out, its long claws wrapped tightly around it.
>”Yes it is, he talks too.”
>It’s a he? Neat.
>Out from its beak rolls some noise, followed by a rough “Hello”
>You inch your hand up to it, so you can show it you mean no harm.
>When your finger is only inches away it puts its neck up to your finger, snuggling it.
>Fluttershy is smiling and a you have to admit, looks a little cute at the moment, in the way that an annoyingly menacing rapist looks cute.
“I think I’ll take him!”
>”Oh that’s wonderful to hear! Let me just get you some stuff for him.”
>She zips away like a lightning bolt.
>You reach up and pet the back of his head and he begins chattering.
 
 
Fluttershy pov
>That went swimmingly, everything went according to plan.
>It’ll be no time before I get what I want now!
 
Anon pov
>Fluttershy returns with a tote on her back, full of food and supplies you assume.
“Is this all I need?”
>”Most of it, I’ll send Big mac over with a cage for him tomorrow, but I’m so glad you decided to take him! Now you have to go home and get him settled in!”
“What if I have any que-“
>”Nope, you have to go. Bye Anon!”
>The bird flies down and lands on your shoulder, lightly digging in so that he doesn’t fall off.
>She shoves you out the door, tote in hand and you begin him.
>All the way home your new friend chatters and sings, he’s loud but it’s fine.
>You walk into your home and he flies off and looks for a place to land.
>Finding your bed post a suitable perch, he lands and squats.
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to try and catch some zzz’s”
>He just looks at you.
“Oookay.”
>Climbing into bed you flip off the lamp and connect with the pillow.
>You doze off fast, even with the bird chirping.
>Dreams filled with exotic birds are all you have, until an usual weight appears on your chest, springing you from your slumber.
>Eyes shooting open you see your feathered friend landing on your chest.
“What’s up?”
>”SQUWAK GIVE HER THE DICK SQUAWK”
>What the fuck?
“What?”
>”GIVE HER THE DICK SQUAWK”
>Oh no she didn’t…
>Swatting at the feathered fiend, he flutters away and lands out of reach.
>He just keeps repeating it over and over again.
>You throw your pillow at him, but he just flies out of the way.
>The only way you’re going to fix this is by getting Flutters, and maybe kicking her ass.
>Opening the door, you’re startled by the yellow Pegasus standing on your stoop.
“Fix it now!”
>”Well.. um.. maybe you should listen to him?” She throws you a sheepish smile.
“If he doesn’t shot up, I’m going to make Angle into a pair of gloves.”
>She shrinks and rushes into your house.
>You wait for her return.
>She exits, exasperated looking.
“All better?”
>”All better.”
>She leaves looking defeated.
>Fucking sluttershy