Jackass in Equestria 3

Danger Anon and the "Perfect Pour"

 

>Day 215 in equestria

>You are enjoying a night of celebration at the bar with your friends/fellow castmates.

>Your stunts are getting huge. The entire bar lost its shit when you, Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie and Fluttershy entered. Shit, the bartender even allowed you all to drink for free.

>And drink you did. Oh lord in heaven did you all drink, for hours.

>"H-heey anoon~" Rainbow slurs with a foreleg over your shoulder.

"Hehe you're, you are so wasted."

>"Yeeee haw!" Applejack cheers from somewhere in the bar.

"So's she."

>The two of you laugh raucously. Pinkie is dancing up a storm, while Fluttershy sways two and fro on the stool next to yours with a goofy grin on her face.

>"Hehe hey, hey Anon."

"Yeah?"

>Rainbow holds up the camera.

"...yes."

 

>A few minutes later every patron is surrounding the bar, which you are currently laying on, in a semi-circle.

>Applejack is standing over you but facing the opposite direction; her ass right over your face. You try to ignore the fact that her unmentionables are in plain view.

>This was not what you had planned. Even with all the alcohol in your system this was going to be fucking terrible.

>Fuck it. In too deep now.

>Rainbro is dying of laughter already, so Fluttershy is holding the camera.

>You turn towards it with a look of regret.

"Hi I'm- I'm Danger Anon and this...God...this is the Perfect Pour."

>The barkeep is standing on a stool with a mug of cider primed and ready over Applejack's ass.

>"Oh, just so ya know Anon...ah was working the orchard all day and haven't showered."

"Oh G-"

>"GO!"

>It begins.

 

>The barkeep begins to pour the frothy beverage over Applejack's ass.

>The amber liquid perfectly contours to her hindquarters, flowing down between her flanks, over her nethers-

>And right into your fucking mouth.

>This is what its like to die.

"aaaAAAHGGKGKK HLURP"

>"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG" the bar choruses.

>You try. Oh how you try. But its death, death in liquid form. You can -taste- the various...residues.

"GAGHKLLLL HERLLGHK"

>You gag and wretch. The Applejack cider splurting out of your mouth and all over your face onto the bar.

>Now its in your eyes and up your nose.

>Rainbow is losing her shit. She can hardly breathe. Fluttershy watches in awe with a blush on her features, her wings slowly rising off her back.

>Fucking gross ass Fluttershy.

>"Buck up Anon we're half way there!" Applejack cheers with a smile.

>God, why?

 

"-GLURG- HRGGGKK -GLURP- AAGHGHURKL"

>To your credit, you manage to swallow some of the heinous brew through your spasms.

>Applejack is now wetly clapping her cheeks together, sloshing more of the liquid atrocity across your neck and chest.

>You have no friends.

>Finally, the mug runs empty. The bar erupts into cheers even as you cough and splutter.

>Still laying on the bar blankly staring at the cieling you give the p0nies a weak thumbs up. Rainbow's grinning, drunken visage comes into view.

>"DUDE! That was SICK!" Rainbro screams over the din. "How do you feel?!"

>You blink.

>You open you mouth to respond-

>-and vomit all over her face.

>The bar explodes into screaming schadenfruedic bliss once more.

>You and your cast get free drinks for life.

>You are still unsure if it was worth the crippling stomach illness and eye infections.