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Fingerbang! - The Chronicles of Faggiddy Chad

By: FingerbangingMLP on Sep 2nd, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 27.61 KB | hits: 222 | expires: Never

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damynorb:
>faggot anon was walking into canterlot high.
>Shit was not cash for him
"nice shoes asshat"
>brad verbally assaulted him.
>Faggot anon walks over to Derpy
"hey, i like you."
"fuck off disgusting autistic faggot go die"
>faggot anon cries and runs home, whatever little pride he had was gone.
"no one likes me anymore!!!"
>faggot anon cried into his pillow"
"play time is ogre"
"NO, NOOOOO!"
>Shrek ripped off anon's pants and pounded his ass, his massive ogre cock tearing his asshole apart.
"Can I join?"
>Gaben had entered the room, sporting a massive sea cucumber.
>Shrek grunted, and high fived Gaven like a proper bro.
>Gaben walked over to the faggots face.
>Lining up, he shoved his massive cucumber cock down anons throat.
>Anon was being spitroasted, like the faggot he is.
>Shrek pounded his asshole, making anon bleed more and more with every thrust.
>A couple of thrust later and Shrek flooded anon's anus with his ogre seed.
>Gaben quickened his pace, forcing his cucumber down into anon's stomach, causing him to choke and splutter.
>his dick twitched and spasmed.
>Anon's eyes went wide as fucking dinner plates.
>Torrents of cucumber seed pumped into anons stomach, filling it up and causing it to inflate.
>Gaben pulled out, just in time to watch anons face get drenched in cucumber jiz.
>Shrek donkey punched him into the floorboards and Gaben ripped off his balls with his manly teeth.
>SHREK IS LOVE
>GABEN IS LIFE
---
Disco:
>Be Chad
>You're a huge cocksucking faggot.
>Everyone hates you because you're an edgy little fuck.
>One day you stumble upon the website known as 4chan
>You browse the website until you found a thread called "Fingerbanging"
>"Wow what a bunch of fags, who likes My Little Pony, fucking pedophiliic fags. Hehehehehehehehe XDDDDD"
>You see this guy named "newblood"
>"What kind of a faggot calls himself newblood? I'll trole him. HEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE"
>So you type up your epic trole message
>"HAHA GO FUCK YOURSELF FAGET"
>Sent ;)
>Newblood doesn't take any of your shit
>People on the thread rebel, calling for your head on a platter.
>Newblood uses his dark British magic to summon the ogre.
>You sense a disturbance in the distance.
>"Playtime is OGRE"
>It's Shrek.
>"Wow a green monster, what a fucking faggot." you said euphorically.
>Shrek tears off your Gaben jammies and slides his crusted fingers up your ass.
>"Y-you're a f-fag"
>Shrek punches you in the dick.
>2000 times.
>Shrek unsheaths his massive sea cucumber dick and sticks it in your well lubricated asshole.
>He cums.
>You die.
>Everyone on /mlp/ rejoices.
End.
---
Anon:
>be chad
>after another long day at the corner office of Gloryhole Inc, you're bone tired
>get home
>power up your computer
>sit down to a sharp pain in your ass
>oh yeah, the donut
>the doctor told you to get one after that last anal tearing incident
>whatever, it's time to troll some losers on 4chan
>click on the fingerbanging thread
>read the stories
>...
>...
>fuck, these are actually okay
>what the fuck am I supposed to make fun of here?
>rusted gears crank in your mind
>can't make fun of ponies, because you're here too
>uh..
>uh...
>the OP pic! That'll show those dweebs!
>using your sore, cum covered fingers you slowly type "These images are getting worse every day."
>you hit submit, chuckling at your own wit
>suddenly >>13633584 and >>13633602
>the donut pops, slamming your ass into your chair causing a flaring pain
>but it's nothing compared to your inner butthurt
>at least Shrek isn't here
newblood:
>Breathing out in contempt of your defeat, you steadily rise from the irritant chair
>Oddly, the lights that you know you left on in the hallway are now off, bathing the once familiar room in a foreboding shadow.
>The sound of heavy mouth-breathing drifts from the shadows and with it comes a voice.
"Do you honestly think I'd ever let you get ogre me?"
>No.
>Please.... Please... No.
>;_;
----
Anon:
>Be right after MMC aired
>Be in a school that has a decent sized fanbase around MLP
>Be Chad at a mini meetup
>”Wow, I can’t believe that they would just give her wings like that.”
>”I know wtf is Hasbro thinking!?”
“I know they are so stupid”
>”Omg Chad, STFU! No one likes you, you fucking prick!”
“But I like MLP too”
>”You are just some autistic faggot that can go suck cock”
>”Yeah, just leave faggot”
>Chad limps home crying because his anus is still recovering
“I know, if I canz helpz take twilight spahkle’s wings away, the guyz will luvz me again!”
>One bus ride to Hasbro HQ later
>”I need to speak to dah CEO!”
>The Help desk lady looks at him weird
>”Umm why do you need to see him?”
>Chad goes right in her face
“Becuz this iz very important!”
>”He’s on the third floor on the left side of the hall, just get your stinking faggot ass away from me!”
“thanks lady”
>In front of CEO’s room
>bang on the door like a fucking pleb
>“Who is it?”
“Itz ovahs mothfuckahs!”
>Chad jumps in and restrains the CEO
“Take twilight’s wings away!”
>”what? no!”
“Why nots?”
>“Because we need the toyline”
“Fucks the toyline!”
>”OMG GET OFF ME! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK A SHOWER YOU DIRTY ASS FAGGOT!”
>That did it
>Chad pulls his pants and boxers down
>”WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU GAYASS PRICK!?”
“Convincing you”
>Chad sticks his fingers up his asshole
>”RA-“
>Chad covered the CEO’s mouth
>The faggot picked up the pace
“You are going to love this”
>The faggot stuck his dick in his asshole
>A few gay thrust pumps later
“IM G-gonna…”
>”NOT YET LADDEH”
>Shrek breaks through the door
>Shrek picks up Chad
>”How many times do I have to teach you this laddeh?”
>”ITS NOT OGRE UNTIL I SAY ITS OGRE!”
>Shrek sticks his monster cock in Chad again
>Chad’s anus is getting torn apart
>Shrek releases inside of Chad
>”Now Its Ogre”
>Chad gets thrown out with Shrek’s signature throw and lands in his house
>Shrek leaves
>The CEO just sat there traumatized
>A vengeance smile grew on his face
>November
>Season 4 airs
“Oh my gawsh, its on!”
>Right before Episode airs, a message airs
>”Episode idea pitched completely by Chad Faggetson”
>Episode starts
>All of the Mane 6 turn into Alicorns
>After episode, Chad’s door gets broken down
>”YOU MASSIVE FAGGOT!”
>It’s the the small fanbase
>Chad gets beaten the fuck out of
--
PowerfulStache:
>Faggot Chad is sitting alone at bowling alley, thinking of ways to commit suicide.
>Sees Fingerbangers group walk into the alley, bitches at their sides, lead by Disco.
>Chad gets off his 300 pound ass after lots of releases of bodily fluids.
>Stumbles over like the special fuck he is over to the lot, drooling and sloppily swishing his fat ass.
"Yah fagawts! Ah bit dows hoes urr accualy men!"
>Everybody in the group laughs, except for Facialhair and Newblood, who move to the front of the group.
>They rip off their hoodies, revealing traditional dark magic robes made in the days of William Wallace to keep the Scotts at bay.
"By the power of Fingerbang, we summon our lord and protector, the ogrelord of all creation!"
>Dark British Magic.
>A green blur knocks down the wall behind Faggot Chad.
"Did ya call, laddehs?"
>The two Brits nod, while everybody is busy grabbing blunt weapons.
"Oh Shrek, this faggot has blasphemed the name of Fingerbang. We beg you to strike him down!"
>Shrek pounds his chest in understanding, ripping off his clothes.
>Faggot Chad starts running towards the door with his sloppy autistic ass slurping all over the place.
"NOT SO FAST, LADDEH! PLAY TIME ISN'T OGRE!"
>Shrek grabs Chad and places him on a table, bending him over.
>He rips off Chad's clothing, and breaks his legs so he can't run.
>Shrek places his enormous eshrektion at Chad's anus, shoving it in without mercy.
>Chad's colon is torn to shreds, ripped open by Shrek's girth.
>He tries to reach his hand down to jerk himself off, but is stopped by Shrek.
>Shrek flips Chad over, grabbing Chad by the dick and widening his urethra.
>He shoves his cock into Chad's urethra, making it instantly explode.
>Chad now has a makeshift vagina.
>Shrek bangs Chad's urethra for another 45 seconds until he stops all of a sudden.
"IT'S ALMOST OGRE, LADDEH!"
>Shrek lifts Chad up by his head and shoves his mouth down onto his cock, manually bobbing him up and down.
>Chad's jaw is torn apart, and is on the verge of death.
>Shrek finishes in Chad's mouth and fills his stomach with his oniony seed.
"It's all ogre now."
>Shrek tosses Chad against the wall, shattering his spine.
>Just as Shrek is walking off, Chad's body begins to rebuild itself, now turning green.
>Chad is becoming the ultimate ogre.
>Shrek get's on one knee and begins praying to the only God left to pray to.
...
>Off in a far away land called reality, DCFTEF receives Shrek's prayer.
>He knows what he must do.
>DCFTEF sprints down to his basement, opening up a safe.
>He pulls out a button, hesitant to press it.
"Only Shrek can save them now."
>DCFTEF slams down on the button, sending a rift through the multiverse.
...
>Back at the bowling alley, Chad's body is still becoming an ogre, almost finished.
>A loud siren is heard off in the distance.
"TACTICAL GABEN INBOUND!!! WE'RE DONE FOR!!!"
>In the sky above the alley, Gaben is thrown out of a plane, plummeting towards the earth.
>The velocity of his fall is over 9000.
>Gaben is in a high tech armored suit that will keep him alive until impact.
>Back down in the bowling alley, Shrek has escaped and ran off back to his swamp, and Chad is still being a autistic fatass even though he is now an ogre.
>The sound of Gaben's armor screeches through the air, almost deafeningly.
>Just before impact, a whisper can be heard.
"Half-Life's over."
>Gaben hits the roof and causes and explosion that rips through time and space, causing an apocalypse 2 million years into the future.
>The alley is destroyed and Chad is burned alive by the explosion.
>Deep in the rubble, the Fingerbangers are protected by the dark British magic of Facialhair and Newblood.
>After they all climb out, they find the world in ruins, leaving only the Fingerbangers and their girlfriends.
--
PowerfulStache:
>Faggot Chad is sitting alone in his room, browsing /mlp/ in search of threads to make fun of.
>Chad finds Fingerbang mentioned in a thread for suggested generals, and immediately decides to take action.
>He replied to the post saying "how is anyone supposed to fap to EqG. That thread is a cancer on this board"
"I'm Anonymous, so nobody can see that it's me!"
>All of a sudden, he gets a reply from a writefag from Fingerbang.
>It reads "Calm the fuck down, Chad. Get back where you belong."
"Oh shit! They're onto me!"
>He quickly types "chad? What the fuck... Why should I take shit from a tripfag. >>>/ponychan/
"They'll never know it's me!"
>A couple new messages pop up, and one of them mentions Topping the League in Baltimare.
>Even without Newblood's presence, his Dark British Magic still has power at the mention of those words.
>The essence that is TtLiB immediately identifies Chad, marking him for death.
>Three hitmen are sent out in search of Chad.
>Chad is still unaware of the power of those words, or the fact that his death is soon to be imminent.
>There is a knock at the door.
>Chad gets up and goes to go see who it is, seeing a tall southern man at the door.
>He opens and door and is struck down in a single punch.
>Chad awakes in a dimly lit shack, fronted by two tall men, one fat and one skinny.
>The fatter one leans in, breathing heavily with the scent of onions.
"You should have checked yourself before you shrieked yourself."
>A schmuck can be heard from above Chad, sounding like that of a sticky tongue.
>The tongue latches on to Chad's head, pulling him up from the ground while his chair is bolted down.
>His body is stretched out, and his neck is tearing open.
>Chad's body is devoured by the Gaben.
"Half-Life's over."
Chad Copypasta:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Chad? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Celestia's Private Lessons, and I’ve been involved in numerous raids on Dashie's spandex shorts, and I have over 300 confirmed fingerbangs. I am trained in vaginal pleasure and I’m the top Anon in the entire /mlp/ board. You are nothing to me but just another Chadtard. I will wipe you the fuck out with Shreks the likes of which has never been seen before on this board, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Fingerbang? Think again, you autistic fuck. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of writefags across the board and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the dicks, maggot. The dicks that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your angus. You’re fucking dead, Chad. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can fuck you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in fingerbanging, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Rarity's sex toys and I will use it to its full extent to rip your angus apart, you little Chad. If only you could have known what unholy pounding your little “clever” bait was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn Chad. I will spit cum all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, Chaddo.
---
Wagonburner:
>be Anon
>walking through the halls of AJ's house
>it's dark; she's saving electricity or something
> she said you too were going to play "Rodeo"
>OK, AJ, hurr durr. You can't play this shit indoors
>Has she even been to a rodeo?
>Anyway
>hear a noise
>*CREEEEEEEAK!*
>turn around quickly
>see a figure in the hall, staring in your direction
>"Hey AJ," you say, making sure it's still a whisper
>don't wake Granny
>the figure doesn't respond
>walk closer
>"What's that you got there?"
>the figure steps into the moonlight, holding a dragon dildo
>you can feel your face drop, breath leave your body
>"No, it-it can't be you! You were banished; the Fingerbang anons got rid of you."
>the figure steps toward you, turning the vibrator on
>it makes a hideous whirring noise and flops around like a fish on the deck, gasping for air
>"This can't be! All I wanted to do was be a part of an EQG Fingerbang thread! I want out of here! I want off this ride!"
>stepping into the moonlight, you can see the details of the figure's face
> a neck beard, wiry and brown, connects to his shaggy bowl cut
>scattered acne covers his nose and cheeks like Dalmatian spots
>horrified, you gaze upon the face of fucking Chad and fing yourself against the wall
>with one slow movement, he raises the dragon dildo up high
>"The ride never ends."
---
PowerfulStache:
>Chad's sitting in his room, waiting for his 400 pound grandmother to sit on his face.
>He hears a slam from the door.
>Chad's fat ass runs down the escalator and finds a wild Shrek.
"You're not my grandma. Where is she?"
"I can't tell you that, laddeh."
"Why?"
"All I can tell you is Rick is havin' the time of his life, mate."
>Chad turned his huge neckbeard-bearing ass around to see his grandmother being raped by Rick with a mask of Gaben as a child.
"Follow me, laddeh."
>Chad started to walk, only to realize he's so damn fat that his legs were in his kidneys.
"Carry me?"
"You asked for it."
>Shrek took his pants off to show a baby cradle.
>He picked Chad up and put him in it.
"What's that vibration?"
"Laddeh, in the name of all that is Half Life, shut up and stop thinking."
...
"Wake up laddeh. We're here."
>Chad finally looked up to see a candle flowed room with a large statue of rainbow dash in the middle with a knife.
"Tonight is the night, laddeh."
>Chad sat his fat ass down on the table, realizing he was surrounded with blood.
"So, am I going on a magic carpet ride?"
"Nope."
"To the moon?"
"Nope. Luna's got that."
"Then where?"
>Shrek pulled the knife from Rainbow Dash's pussy and shoved it into Chad's anus.
"Laddeh, we need some more room for the sacrifice."
>Chad was screaming, but nobody could hear him.
>Shrek finally pulled the knife out and said something in Latin.
"I'm ready."
>Out came Gaben, with a skin tight suit with a cockhole.
"PLEASE GOD SAVE ME SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!"
>Gaben prepared his sacrificial roofies and forced them down his gullet.
>The last thing Chad remembered was Gaben was saying.
"Nightmare Night is over, Chad."
--
>Faggot Chad is sitting in his room, waiting for his 400 pound grandmother to sit on his face.
>He hears a slam from the door, and he gets up in an effort to hunt down the sound.
>Chad's fat ass runs down the stairs and finds a wild Shrek waiting for him.
"I've been exshrekting you."
>Chad turns around and starts dancing up the stairs, but slips at the top step and slides down in a tumbled mess.
>On the way down, he cracks his ass, dislocating his bones and making it jiggle even more than it already did.
>Chad opens his mouth in pain to groan, but is interrupted by the mighty eshrektion.
"You never got ogre me, did ya, LADDEH?"
>Before shoving his bulging eshrektion into Chad's mouth, Shrek pounds in Chad's legs, preventing him from any attempts at an escape.
>Shrek lines himself up and goes for gold, plummeting straight into Chad's mouth, while his eshrektion drips with oniony precum.
>Chad's jaw instantly cracks, leaving his mouth a bloody mass of flesh.
>In retaliation, Chad bites down on the eshrektion, cracking his teeth on it's massive bulge.
>Shrek realizes that it's time to move on, so he pulls back on backs up, going towards Chad's disgusting spandex shorts.
>Shrek rips off his shorts, revealing Chad's 1-inch cock standing at attention.
"It's gonna be ogre soon, laddeh."
>Shrek stomps his foot down, crushing Chad's laughingstock of a dick, and making his testicles explode and splatter.
>Rather than going for Chad's smelly, dry asshole, Shrek chooses to plunge his raging eshrektion into Chad's makeshift vagina.
>Chad cries out in pain, as his back is shoved deep into the scratchy, wooden floor.
>All of a sudden, a pair of men bust down the door to the house, seeing the shenanigans with Shrek and Chad.
>It's Rick and Gaben.
"Is play time ogre yet? We'd like a turn."
>Shrek chuckles, and waves the pair off.
"Play time isn't ogre just yet, laddehs. You'll have to be patient."
>On the floor, Chad is slowly dying from his massive amount of injuries and broken bones induced by Shrek.
>His crotch is burning from Shrek's oniony seed, and it seems that play time will be ogre very soon.
>Shrek finishes with a loud moan, blowing off Chad's legs with his seed.
>Chad dies in an fit of pain and pleasure.
>Shrek is love.
----
King of the Caribbean
>Chad gives a diabolical laugh as he sends his latest post
"HA HA HA! These Fingerbanging losers will never recover from their immense butthurt!"
>He lifts his 200 tonne ass off of his swivel chair, his fedora teetering dangerously on the edge of his cranium
>He digs under the plaster cast encasing his mangled anus, scratching his asscrack
"What's this? A response? Ha, these religious fools will fall for whatever bait I throw them!"
>He slams his rear back down on the chair, cracking the plastic on the stand
>Lifting his hand out of his shorts, he instinctively brings them up to his nose and takes a deep whiff
>His nostrils pick up the unmistakable scent of sweat, and he wipes it on the rough surface that is his neckbeard
"Now, lets tell them all about how EqG is just Anthro!"
>His sausage fingers fly through the air, down towards the keyboard, ready to shitpost again
>But suddenly, a large green hand appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and catches it halfway
"There'll be none of that today, laddeh."
>Chad looks up in horror, terrified of the hulking green figure standing before him
>Shrek lifts him up by the arm, cracking a smile as he pulls Chad's pants down to his knees
>Chad begs for mercy as Shrek procures his 30" Shrock, and aims it straight at Chad's plaster encased buns
>He thrusts forward, his Shrock shattering the plaster and sending pieces of it flying everywhere
>However, Chad begins to laugh as Shrek's green love penetrates his loosened backside
"You think I'd shitpost without protection?"
>Shrek gives a mighty ogre roar as his ogresized member rams into something splintery
>There, in the deep recesses of Chad's anal cavities, lies a single pinecone
>Shrek pulls out, roaring in pain as Chad shits the pinecone onto the ground
>The pinecone begins to glow, and explodes, blue light shining from the ground zero
>Through the blue haze, another figure can be seen
>He steps out of the smoke, and there, naked in all his unholy glory, stands Dreck
"Ha ha, Shrek. Long time no see."
>Shrek looks up at Dreck, a snarl set into his green face
"Yeh shoulda known better than ta come back here."
>Dreck laughs, and grabs a post from Chad's bed, snapping it off
>He kicks Shrek over onto his belly, and aims the bedpost directly at Shrek's holy starfish
"I'm sorry, Shrek. But this, is the part, where you... Die."
>Dreck roars, and brings his arm through the air, plunging the bedpost directly into Shreks sacred temple
>But he stops, inches away
>Shrek looks over his shoulder, and sees Dreck standing in shock
>A massive cucumber cock protrudes through his chest, a still beating heart speared on the end of it
>Dreck falls to the ground, sliding off down the length of the dick, and collapsing to the floor
>Lord Gaben steps over the body, extending a hand to Shrek
"Shrek, old friend. What do you say we finish this. together?"
>Shrek takes Gaben's hand, and turns to look at Chad, who is now huddled in the corner
"Aye, Gabe. I'd say this lad is long overdue."
>Chad gets up, and runs for the door, but Shreks engorged Shrock stretches over, grabbing Chad by the neck and pulling him back.
"Yeh ain't gettin' away that easily, laddeh."
>Chad's cries for mercy as Gaben lines his cucumber cock up with Chad's mouth, and Shrek does the same with his anus
>They both thrust forward at the same time
>For the next week, Chad is subjected to the sexual desires of Shrek and Gaben
>As the final day draws to a close, Gaben dissipates, leaving behind nothing but a groove on Chad's floor
"Well Laddeh, I guess yeh learned yer lesson, then. Just remember; you'd better bring more than Dreck the next time you want teh shitpost in my swamp."
>With that, Shrek takes an onion out of his pocket, and slides it into Chad's cavernous asshole
>Chad, tears still blurring his vision, looks to the window, and sees nothing but a green flash as Shrek jumps out of it
>He picks himself up, delicious creamy onion sauce dripping from his nether region
>He staggers to the basement door, eager to put the events of the week behind him
"Chad, honey! We're home!"
>Chad freezes, as the unmistakable sound of his parents opening the door reaches his ears
>He attempts to haul ass, but there is simply too much, and he topples over
>He covers his shame, as his mother faints right at the door step
>Chad Sr. walks over, standing over his son and frowning disapprovingly
"Chad, you collossal faggot. This sort of shit is exactly why you don't have any friends."
>Chad mumbles an apology, and attempts to stand up
>He slips on the onion juice, and falls flat on his ass
>The vibrations cause a Magnitude 9.4 Earthquake in Jamaica
>Chad's Sr. scoffs, disgusted at his sons behaviour, and picks up Mrs. Chad, carrying her to the lounge room
>Chad, unable to stand, opts instead to roll down the basement stairs, a wet sucking sound punctuating his every movement
>How tumbles down the stairs, and hits the cold concrete bottom
"The fingerbangers may have won... For now."
----
ShittyWritefag
>Be Chad the cockmongolian
>Your angus still hasn't recovered from your previous anal pounding from Shrek and Gaben thick seacucmber penis
>Leaking milky semen from anus for weeks on end, you sought of several ways to bring pain and suffering to the fingerbangers.
>But none of your plans would have worked
>Fingerbang was as strong as ever, and every time you wanted to shitpost, a masked middle aged man with a moustache would prevent you from doing so.
>And then you suddenly had a wonderful idea
>"I know, I'll apologize to the thread and make them believe I'm dead"
>So you go onto the Fingerbang thread, and apologize.
>Surprisingly people believe you, even the based writefags.
>You have fooled the thread.
>You wait for your glorious return to fingerbang.
>A week pass, fingerbang is as dead as ever, your plan is working brilliantly.
>You smile as the writefags stop writing, the anons stop lurking.
>Each person believing the thread was invigorates you with tremendous strength.
>And then you launch your ultimate plan
>"You're all nigger bastards"
>Fuggen brilliant Chad.
>Fuggen brilliant.
----
Chad's perspective
>be me
>see disco
>call him a raging faggot
>he cries
>i grab a disco ball and shove it up his ass
>see king of the caribbean
>im the king you cunt
>suck davy jones dick
>slams his head into the floor
>throws him into the bottom of the sea
>see doc
>time to play doctor
>stab him and rip his lungs out
>squeeze his heart to death
>see newblood
>drink my blood you ragging faggot cunt
>make cut on arm
>shove it down his throat
>choke him to death
>see stache
>cuunt you gonna die
>rips his mustache off
>stabs in the head with it
>brain leaks out his head
>see damynorb
>eat genital wart shit cunt
>shove genital wart down his throat
>choke him with it
>see story man
>i have a story for you
>you die
>throw him against a wall
>punch his head until it flattens against the wall
>see voice of the machines
>taste my kicking machine bitch
>kick him to death until his body is nothing but a smudge on the floor
>wanna know why dctef isn't here? coz i killed him cunt nuggets
---
"Still Alive" parody
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Fingerbang Thread
We write what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who only lurk.
But there's no sense bumping over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of faith.
And the writing gets done.
And you make a neat fap.
For the anons who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though Shrek broke my ass.
And raped me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was fingerbanging you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful plot.
And we're out of ideas.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm glad I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the anons who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Faggot Chad
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this pussy is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Storys to do.
When I look out there, it makes me glad I have you.
I've stories to run.
There is fingerbanging to be done.
For the anons who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Writing and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're feeling I'll be still alive.
And when you're blocked I will be still alive.
Still Alive
Still Alive

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

damynorb:

>faggot anon was walking into canterlot high.
>Shit was not cash for him

"nice shoes asshat"

>brad verbally assaulted him.
>Faggot anon walks over to Derpy

"hey, i like you."

"fuck off disgusting autistic faggot go die"

>faggot anon cries and runs home, whatever little pride he had was gone.

"no one likes me anymore!!!"

>faggot anon cried into his pillow"

"play time is ogre"

"NO, NOOOOO!"

>Shrek ripped off anon's pants and pounded his ass, his massive ogre cock tearing his asshole apart.

"Can I join?"

>Gaben had entered the room, sporting a massive sea cucumber.
>Shrek grunted, and high fived Gaven like a proper bro.
>Gaben walked over to the faggots face.
>Lining up, he shoved his massive cucumber cock down anons throat. 
>Anon was being spitroasted, like the faggot he is.

>Shrek pounded his asshole, making anon bleed more and more with every thrust.
>A couple of thrust later and Shrek flooded anon's anus with his ogre seed.
>Gaben quickened his pace, forcing his cucumber down into anon's stomach, causing him to choke and splutter.
>his dick twitched and spasmed.
>Anon's eyes went wide as fucking dinner plates.
>Torrents of cucumber seed pumped into anons stomach, filling it up and causing it to inflate.
>Gaben pulled out, just in time to watch anons face get drenched in cucumber jiz.
>Shrek donkey punched him into the floorboards and Gaben ripped off his balls with his manly teeth.

>SHREK IS LOVE
>GABEN IS LIFE

---

Disco:
>Be Chad
>You're a huge cocksucking faggot.
>Everyone hates you because you're an edgy little fuck.

>One day you stumble upon the website known as 4chan
>You browse the website until you found a thread called "Fingerbanging"
>"Wow what a bunch of fags, who likes My Little Pony, fucking pedophiliic fags. Hehehehehehehehe XDDDDD"
>You see this guy named "newblood"
>"What kind of a faggot calls himself newblood? I'll trole him. HEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE"

>So you type up your epic trole message
>"HAHA GO FUCK YOURSELF FAGET"
>Sent ;)

>Newblood doesn't take any of your shit
>People on the thread rebel, calling for your head on a platter.

>Newblood uses his dark British magic to summon the ogre.

>You sense a disturbance in the distance.
>"Playtime is OGRE"
>It's Shrek.

>"Wow a green monster, what a fucking faggot." you said euphorically.
>Shrek tears off your Gaben jammies and slides his crusted fingers up your ass.
>"Y-you're a f-fag"

>Shrek punches you in the dick.
>2000 times.

>Shrek unsheaths his massive sea cucumber dick and sticks it in your well lubricated asshole.
>He cums.

>You die.

>Everyone on /mlp/ rejoices.

End.

---

Anon:
>be chad
>after another long day at the corner office of Gloryhole Inc, you're bone tired
>get home 
>power up your computer 
>sit down to a sharp pain in your ass
>oh yeah, the donut
>the doctor told you to get one after that last anal tearing incident
>whatever, it's time to troll some losers on 4chan
>click on the fingerbanging thread
>read the stories
>...
>...
>fuck, these are actually okay
>what the fuck am I supposed to make fun of here?
>rusted gears crank in your mind
>can't make fun of ponies, because you're here too
>uh..
>uh...
>the OP pic! That'll show those dweebs!
>using your sore, cum covered fingers you slowly type "These images are getting worse every day."
>you hit submit, chuckling at your own wit
>suddenly >>13633584 and >>13633602
>the donut pops, slamming your ass into your chair causing a flaring pain 
>but it's nothing compared to your inner butthurt
>at least Shrek isn't here

newblood: 
>Breathing out in contempt of your defeat, you steadily rise from the irritant chair
>Oddly, the lights that you know you left on in the hallway are now off, bathing the once familiar room in a foreboding shadow.
>The sound of heavy mouth-breathing drifts from the shadows and with it comes a voice.

"Do you honestly think I'd ever let you get ogre me?"

>No.
>Please.... Please... No.
>;_;

----

Anon:

>Be right after MMC aired
>Be in a school that has a decent sized fanbase around MLP
>Be Chad at a mini meetup
>”Wow, I can’t believe that they would just give her wings like that.”
>”I know wtf is Hasbro thinking!?”
“I know they are so stupid”
>”Omg Chad, STFU! No one likes you, you fucking prick!”
“But I like MLP too”
>”You are just some autistic faggot that can go suck cock”
>”Yeah, just leave faggot”
>Chad limps home crying because his anus is still recovering

“I know, if I canz helpz take twilight spahkle’s wings away, the guyz will luvz me again!”
>One bus ride to Hasbro HQ later
>”I need to speak to dah CEO!”
>The Help desk lady looks at him weird
>”Umm why do you need to see him?”
>Chad goes right in her face
“Becuz this iz very important!”
>”He’s on the third floor on the left side of the hall, just get your stinking faggot ass away from me!”
“thanks lady”
>In front of CEO’s room
>bang on the door like a fucking pleb
>“Who is it?”
“Itz ovahs mothfuckahs!”
>Chad jumps in and restrains the CEO
“Take twilight’s wings away!”
>”what? no!”
“Why nots?”
>“Because we need the toyline”
“Fucks the toyline!”
>”OMG GET OFF ME! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK A SHOWER YOU DIRTY ASS FAGGOT!”
>That did it
>Chad pulls his pants and boxers down
>”WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU GAYASS PRICK!?”
“Convincing you”
>Chad sticks his fingers up his asshole
>”RA-“
>Chad covered the CEO’s mouth
>The faggot picked up the pace
“You are going to love this”
>The faggot stuck his dick in his asshole
>A few gay thrust pumps later
“IM G-gonna…”
>”NOT YET LADDEH”
>Shrek breaks through the door
>Shrek picks up Chad
>”How many times do I have to teach you this laddeh?”
>”ITS NOT OGRE UNTIL I SAY ITS OGRE!”
>Shrek sticks his monster cock in Chad again
>Chad’s anus is getting torn apart
>Shrek releases inside of Chad
>”Now Its Ogre”
>Chad gets thrown out with Shrek’s signature throw and lands in his house
>Shrek leaves
>The CEO just sat there traumatized
>A vengeance smile grew on his face

>November
>Season 4 airs
“Oh my gawsh, its on!”
>Right before Episode airs, a message airs
>”Episode idea pitched completely by Chad Faggetson”
>Episode starts
>All of the Mane 6 turn into Alicorns
>After episode, Chad’s door gets broken down
>”YOU MASSIVE FAGGOT!”
>It’s the the small fanbase
>Chad gets beaten the fuck out of

--

PowerfulStache:

>Faggot Chad is sitting alone at bowling alley, thinking of ways to commit suicide. 
>Sees Fingerbangers group walk into the alley, bitches at their sides, lead by Disco. 
>Chad gets off his 300 pound ass after lots of releases of bodily fluids. 
>Stumbles over like the special fuck he is over to the lot, drooling and sloppily swishing his fat ass. 

"Yah fagawts! Ah bit dows hoes urr accualy men!"

>Everybody in the group laughs, except for Facialhair and Newblood, who move to the front of the group. 
>They rip off their hoodies, revealing traditional dark magic robes made in the days of William Wallace to keep the Scotts at bay. 

"By the power of Fingerbang, we summon our lord and protector, the ogrelord of all creation!"

>Dark British Magic. 
>A green blur knocks down the wall behind Faggot Chad. 

"Did ya call, laddehs?"

>The two Brits nod, while everybody is busy grabbing blunt weapons. 

"Oh Shrek, this faggot has blasphemed the name of Fingerbang. We beg you to strike him down!"

>Shrek pounds his chest in understanding, ripping off his clothes. 
>Faggot Chad starts running towards the door with his sloppy autistic ass slurping all over the place. 

"NOT SO FAST, LADDEH! PLAY TIME ISN'T OGRE!"

>Shrek grabs Chad and places him on a table, bending him over. 
>He rips off Chad's clothing, and breaks his legs so he can't run. 
>Shrek places his enormous eshrektion at Chad's anus, shoving it in without mercy. 
>Chad's colon is torn to shreds, ripped open by Shrek's girth. 
>He tries to reach his hand down to jerk himself off, but is stopped by Shrek. 
>Shrek flips Chad over, grabbing Chad by the dick and widening his urethra. 
>He shoves his cock into Chad's urethra, making it instantly explode. 
>Chad now has a makeshift vagina. 
>Shrek bangs Chad's urethra for another 45 seconds until he stops all of a sudden. 

"IT'S ALMOST OGRE, LADDEH!"

>Shrek lifts Chad up by his head and shoves his mouth down onto his cock, manually bobbing him up and down.

>Chad's jaw is torn apart, and is on the verge of death. 
>Shrek finishes in Chad's mouth and fills his stomach with his oniony seed. 

"It's all ogre now."

>Shrek tosses Chad against the wall, shattering his spine. 
>Just as Shrek is walking off, Chad's body begins to rebuild itself, now turning green. 
>Chad is becoming the ultimate ogre.
>Shrek get's on one knee and begins praying to the only God left to pray to. 

...

>Off in a far away land called reality, DCFTEF receives Shrek's prayer. 
>He knows what he must do. 
>DCFTEF sprints down to his basement, opening up a safe. 
>He pulls out a button, hesitant to press it. 

"Only Shrek can save them now."

>DCFTEF slams down on the button, sending a rift through the multiverse. 

...

>Back at the bowling alley, Chad's body is still becoming an ogre, almost finished.
>A loud siren is heard off in the distance. 

"TACTICAL GABEN INBOUND!!! WE'RE DONE FOR!!!"

>In the sky above the alley, Gaben is thrown out of a plane, plummeting towards the earth. 
>The velocity of his fall is over 9000. 
>Gaben is in a high tech armored suit that will keep him alive until impact. 
>Back down in the bowling alley, Shrek has escaped and ran off back to his swamp, and Chad is still being a autistic fatass even though he is now an ogre. 
>The sound of Gaben's armor screeches through the air, almost deafeningly.
>Just before impact, a whisper can be heard.

"Half-Life's over."

>Gaben hits the roof and causes and explosion that rips through time and space, causing an apocalypse 2 million years into the future. 
>The alley is destroyed and Chad is burned alive by the explosion. 
>Deep in the rubble, the Fingerbangers are protected by the dark British magic of Facialhair and Newblood. 
>After they all climb out, they find the world in ruins, leaving only the Fingerbangers and their girlfriends.

--

PowerfulStache:
>Faggot Chad is sitting alone in his room, browsing /mlp/ in search of threads to make fun of. 
>Chad finds Fingerbang mentioned in a thread for suggested generals, and immediately decides to take action. 
>He replied to the post saying "how is anyone supposed to fap to EqG. That thread is a cancer on this board"
"I'm Anonymous, so nobody can see that it's me!"
>All of a sudden, he gets a reply from a writefag from Fingerbang. 
>It reads "Calm the fuck down, Chad. Get back where you belong."
"Oh shit! They're onto me!"
>He quickly types "chad? What the fuck... Why should I take shit from a tripfag. >>>/ponychan/
"They'll never know it's me!"
>A couple new messages pop up, and one of them mentions Topping the League in Baltimare. 
>Even without Newblood's presence, his Dark British Magic still has power at the mention of those words.
>The essence that is TtLiB immediately identifies Chad, marking him for death. 
>Three hitmen are sent out in search of Chad. 
>Chad is still unaware of the power of those words, or the fact that his death is soon to be imminent. 
>There is a knock at the door. 
>Chad gets up and goes to go see who it is, seeing a tall southern man at the door. 
>He opens and door and is struck down in a single punch. 
>Chad awakes in a dimly lit shack, fronted by two tall men, one fat and one skinny. 
>The fatter one leans in, breathing heavily with the scent of onions. 

"You should have checked yourself before you shrieked yourself."

>A schmuck can be heard from above Chad, sounding like that of a sticky tongue. 
>The tongue latches on to Chad's head, pulling him up from the ground while his chair is bolted down. 
>His body is stretched out, and his neck is tearing open. 
>Chad's body is devoured by the Gaben. 

"Half-Life's over."

Chad Copypasta:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little Chad? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Celestia's Private Lessons, and I’ve been involved in numerous raids on Dashie's spandex shorts, and I have over 300 confirmed fingerbangs. I am trained in vaginal pleasure and I’m the top Anon in the entire /mlp/ board. You are nothing to me but just another Chadtard. I will wipe you the fuck out with Shreks the likes of which has never been seen before on this board, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Fingerbang? Think again, you autistic fuck. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of writefags across the board and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the dicks, maggot. The dicks that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your angus. You’re fucking dead, Chad. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can fuck you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in fingerbanging, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Rarity's sex toys and I will use it to its full extent to rip your angus apart, you little Chad. If only you could have known what unholy pounding your little “clever” bait was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn Chad. I will spit cum all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, Chaddo.

---
Wagonburner:
>be Anon
>walking through the halls of AJ's house
>it's dark; she's saving electricity or something
> she said you too were going to play "Rodeo"
>OK, AJ, hurr durr. You can't play this shit indoors
>Has she even been to a rodeo?
>Anyway
>hear a noise
>*CREEEEEEEAK!*
>turn around quickly
>see a figure in the hall, staring in your direction
>"Hey AJ," you say, making sure it's still a whisper
>don't wake Granny
>the figure doesn't respond
>walk closer 
>"What's that you got there?"
>the figure steps into the moonlight, holding a dragon dildo
>you can feel your face drop, breath leave your body
>"No, it-it can't be you! You were banished; the Fingerbang anons got rid of you."
>the figure steps toward you, turning the vibrator on
>it makes a hideous whirring noise and flops around like a fish on the deck, gasping for air
>"This can't be! All I wanted to do was be a part of an EQG Fingerbang thread! I want out of here! I want off this ride!"

>stepping into the moonlight, you can see the details of the figure's face
> a neck beard, wiry and brown, connects to his shaggy bowl cut
>scattered acne covers his nose and cheeks like Dalmatian spots
>horrified, you gaze upon the face of fucking Chad and fing yourself against the wall
>with one slow movement, he raises the dragon dildo up high

>"The ride never ends."

---
PowerfulStache:

>Chad's sitting in his room, waiting for his 400 pound grandmother to sit on his face.
>He hears a slam from the door.
>Chad's fat ass runs down the escalator and finds a wild Shrek.
"You're not my grandma. Where is she?"

"I can't tell you that, laddeh."

"Why?"

"All I can tell you is Rick is havin' the time of his life, mate."

>Chad turned his huge neckbeard-bearing ass around to see his grandmother being raped by Rick with a mask of Gaben as a child.

"Follow me, laddeh."

>Chad started to walk, only to realize he's so damn fat that his legs were in his kidneys.

"Carry me?"

"You asked for it."

>Shrek took his pants off to show a baby cradle. 
>He picked Chad up and put him in it. 

"What's that vibration?"

"Laddeh, in the name of all that is Half Life, shut up and stop thinking."

...

"Wake up laddeh. We're here."

>Chad finally looked up to see a candle flowed room with a large statue of rainbow dash in the middle with a knife.

"Tonight is the night, laddeh."

>Chad sat his fat ass down on the table, realizing he was surrounded with blood.

"So, am I going on a magic carpet ride?"

"Nope."

"To the moon?"

"Nope. Luna's got that."

"Then where?"

>Shrek pulled the knife from Rainbow Dash's pussy and shoved it into Chad's anus.

"Laddeh, we need some more room for the sacrifice."

>Chad was screaming, but nobody could hear him.
>Shrek finally pulled the knife out and said something in Latin.

"I'm ready."

>Out came Gaben, with a skin tight suit with a cockhole.

"PLEASE GOD SAVE ME SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!"

>Gaben prepared his sacrificial roofies and forced them down his gullet.
>The last thing Chad remembered was Gaben was saying.

"Nightmare Night is over, Chad."

--
>Faggot Chad is sitting in his room, waiting for his 400 pound grandmother to sit on his face.
>He hears a slam from the door, and he gets up in an effort to hunt down the sound. 
>Chad's fat ass runs down the stairs and finds a wild Shrek waiting for him. 

"I've been exshrekting you."

>Chad turns around and starts dancing up the stairs, but slips at the top step and slides down in a tumbled mess. 
>On the way down, he cracks his ass, dislocating his bones and making it jiggle even more than it already did. 
>Chad opens his mouth in pain to groan, but is interrupted by the mighty eshrektion. 

"You never got ogre me, did ya, LADDEH?"

>Before shoving his bulging eshrektion into Chad's mouth, Shrek pounds in Chad's legs, preventing him from any attempts at an escape. 
>Shrek lines himself up and goes for gold, plummeting straight into Chad's mouth, while his eshrektion drips with oniony precum. 
>Chad's jaw instantly cracks, leaving his mouth a bloody mass of flesh. 

>In retaliation, Chad bites down on the eshrektion, cracking his teeth on it's massive bulge. 
>Shrek realizes that it's time to move on, so he pulls back on backs up, going towards Chad's disgusting spandex shorts. 
>Shrek rips off his shorts, revealing Chad's 1-inch cock standing at attention. 

"It's gonna be ogre soon, laddeh."

>Shrek stomps his foot down, crushing Chad's laughingstock of a dick, and making his testicles explode and splatter. 
>Rather than going for Chad's smelly, dry asshole, Shrek chooses to plunge his raging eshrektion into Chad's makeshift vagina. 
>Chad cries out in pain, as his back is shoved deep into the scratchy, wooden floor. 

>All of a sudden, a pair of men bust down the door to the house, seeing the shenanigans with Shrek and Chad.

>It's Rick and Gaben. 

"Is play time ogre yet? We'd like a turn."

>Shrek chuckles, and waves the pair off. 

"Play time isn't ogre just yet, laddehs. You'll have to be patient."

>On the floor, Chad is slowly dying from his massive amount of injuries and broken bones induced by Shrek. 
>His crotch is burning from Shrek's oniony seed, and it seems that play time will be ogre very soon. 
>Shrek finishes with a loud moan, blowing off Chad's legs with his seed. 
>Chad dies in an fit of pain and pleasure. 

>Shrek is love.

----
King of the Caribbean


>Chad gives a diabolical laugh as he sends his latest post

"HA HA HA! These Fingerbanging losers will never recover from their immense butthurt!"
>He lifts his 200 tonne ass off of his swivel chair, his fedora teetering dangerously on the edge of his cranium
>He digs under the plaster cast encasing his mangled anus, scratching his asscrack

"What's this? A response? Ha, these religious fools will fall for whatever bait I throw them!"
>He slams his rear back down on the chair, cracking the plastic on the stand
>Lifting his hand out of his shorts, he instinctively brings them up to his nose and takes a deep whiff
>His nostrils pick up the unmistakable scent of sweat, and he wipes it on the rough surface that is his neckbeard

"Now, lets tell them all about how EqG is just Anthro!"
>His sausage fingers fly through the air, down towards the keyboard, ready to shitpost again
>But suddenly, a large green hand appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and catches it halfway

"There'll be none of that today, laddeh."
>Chad looks up in horror, terrified of the hulking green figure standing before him
>Shrek lifts him up by the arm, cracking a smile as he pulls Chad's pants down to his knees
>Chad begs for mercy as Shrek procures his 30" Shrock, and aims it straight at Chad's plaster encased buns
>He thrusts forward, his Shrock shattering the plaster and sending pieces of it flying everywhere
>However, Chad begins to laugh as Shrek's green love penetrates his loosened backside

"You think I'd shitpost without protection?"
>Shrek gives a mighty ogre roar as his ogresized member rams into something splintery
>There, in the deep recesses of Chad's anal cavities, lies a single pinecone

>Shrek pulls out, roaring in pain as Chad shits the pinecone onto the ground
>The pinecone begins to glow, and explodes, blue light shining from the ground zero
>Through the blue haze, another figure can be seen
>He steps out of the smoke, and there, naked in all his unholy glory, stands Dreck

"Ha ha, Shrek. Long time no see."
>Shrek looks up at Dreck, a snarl set into his green face

"Yeh shoulda known better than ta come back here."
>Dreck laughs, and grabs a post from Chad's bed, snapping it off
>He kicks Shrek over onto his belly, and aims the bedpost directly at Shrek's holy starfish

"I'm sorry, Shrek. But this, is the part, where you... Die."
>Dreck roars, and brings his arm through the air, plunging the bedpost directly into Shreks sacred temple
>But he stops, inches away
>Shrek looks over his shoulder, and sees Dreck standing in shock
>A massive cucumber cock protrudes through his chest, a still beating heart speared on the end of it
>Dreck falls to the ground, sliding off down the length of the dick, and collapsing to the floor
>Lord Gaben steps over the body, extending a hand to Shrek

"Shrek, old friend. What do you say we finish this. together?"
>Shrek takes Gaben's hand, and turns to look at Chad, who is now huddled in the corner

"Aye, Gabe. I'd say this lad is long overdue."
>Chad gets up, and runs for the door, but Shreks engorged Shrock stretches over, grabbing Chad by the neck and pulling him back.

"Yeh ain't gettin' away that easily, laddeh."
>Chad's cries for mercy as Gaben lines his cucumber cock up with Chad's mouth, and Shrek does the same with his anus
>They both thrust forward at the same time
>For the next week, Chad is subjected to the sexual desires of Shrek and Gaben
>As the final day draws to a close, Gaben dissipates, leaving behind nothing but a groove on Chad's floor

"Well Laddeh, I guess yeh learned yer lesson, then. Just remember; you'd better bring more than Dreck the next time you want teh shitpost in my swamp."

>With that, Shrek takes an onion out of his pocket, and slides it into Chad's cavernous asshole
>Chad, tears still blurring his vision, looks to the window, and sees nothing but a green flash as Shrek jumps out of it
>He picks himself up, delicious creamy onion sauce dripping from his nether region
>He staggers to the basement door, eager to put the events of the week behind him

"Chad, honey! We're home!"
>Chad freezes, as the unmistakable sound of his parents opening the door reaches his ears
>He attempts to haul ass, but there is simply too much, and he topples over
>He covers his shame, as his mother faints right at the door step
>Chad Sr. walks over, standing over his son and frowning disapprovingly

"Chad, you collossal faggot. This sort of shit is exactly why you don't have any friends."
>Chad mumbles an apology, and attempts to stand up
>He slips on the onion juice, and falls flat on his ass
>The vibrations cause a Magnitude 9.4 Earthquake in Jamaica
>Chad's Sr. scoffs, disgusted at his sons behaviour, and picks up Mrs. Chad, carrying her to the lounge room
>Chad, unable to stand, opts instead to roll down the basement stairs, a wet sucking sound punctuating his every movement
>How tumbles down the stairs, and hits the cold concrete bottom

"The fingerbangers may have won... For now."

----
ShittyWritefag
>Be Chad the cockmongolian 
>Your angus still hasn't recovered from your previous anal pounding from Shrek and Gaben thick seacucmber penis
>Leaking milky semen from anus for weeks on end, you sought of several ways to bring pain and suffering to the fingerbangers.
>But none of your plans would have worked
>Fingerbang was as strong as ever, and every time you wanted to shitpost, a masked middle aged man with a moustache would prevent you from doing so.
>And then you suddenly had a wonderful idea
>"I know, I'll apologize to the thread and make them believe I'm dead"
>So you go onto the Fingerbang thread, and apologize.
>Surprisingly people believe you, even the based writefags.
>You have fooled the thread.
>You wait for your glorious return to fingerbang.
>A week pass, fingerbang is as dead as ever, your plan is working brilliantly.
>You smile as the writefags stop writing, the anons stop lurking.
>Each person believing the thread was invigorates you with tremendous strength.
>And then you launch your ultimate plan
>"You're all nigger bastards"
>Fuggen brilliant Chad.
>Fuggen brilliant.

----
Chad's perspective
>be me
>see disco
>call him a raging faggot
>he cries
>i grab a disco ball and shove it up his ass
>see king of the caribbean
>im the king you cunt
>suck davy jones dick
>slams his head into the floor
>throws him into the bottom of the sea
>see doc
>time to play doctor
>stab him and rip his lungs out
>squeeze his heart to death
>see newblood
>drink my blood you ragging faggot cunt
>make cut on arm
>shove it down his throat
>choke him to death
>see stache
>cuunt you gonna die
>rips his mustache off
>stabs in the head with it
>brain leaks out his head
>see damynorb
>eat genital wart shit cunt
>shove genital wart down his throat
>choke him with it
>see story man
>i have a story for you
>you die
>throw him against a wall
>punch his head until it flattens against the wall
>see voice of the machines
>taste my kicking machine bitch
>kick him to death until his body is nothing but a smudge on the floor
>wanna know why dctef isn't here? coz i killed him cunt nuggets

---
"Still Alive" parody

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Fingerbang Thread
We write what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who only lurk.
But there's no sense bumping over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of faith.
And the writing gets done.
And you make a neat fap.
For the anons who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though Shrek broke my ass.
And raped me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was fingerbanging you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful plot.
And we're out of ideas.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm glad I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the anons who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Faggot Chad
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this pussy is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Storys to do.
When I look out there, it makes me glad I have you.
I've stories to run.
There is fingerbanging to be done.
For the anons who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Writing and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're feeling I'll be still alive.
And when you're blocked I will be still alive.
Still Alive
Still Alive

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