Cowoncrutches - Phoenetically My Ass (unfinished)

>Ah, lunch break.

>The special time where bros can congregate, and awkward teenage love-making can occur in the stairwell by the stage.

>Not that you’ve ever been there, sadly.

>Your shoes tap lightly on the cheap tile.

>Fluorescent light mingling with afternoon sun blazes through the windows.

>The lockers shine with light, thanks to the bright sun.

>You’ve really got nowhere to go, and you’ve already eaten your lunch, so you figured that the library might be a good place to steal a computer and look at some random websites, maybe bump into a nerdy friend or two.

>After a short walk, you waltz into the library and take a seat at a random computer.

>You browse, half-heartedly clicking on bland song, after bland song, after bland song on youtube, hoping to find something vaguely resembling entertainment.

>After listening to Hot Chele Rae, it’s official.

>You have reached the next level of boredom.

>Stretching back in the chair, you swear you can hear a voice hissing your name.

“Anon.”

>Fucking hell, you can’t have schizophrenia.

>You’ve seen what happens to mental patients in horror movies.

>You can’t have a crazy German doctor fuck with your mind so that he can turn you loose on the 20-something actors pretending to be teens and kill them all until you are felled by the one lone heroine at the end.

>tfw this life chose you, and you never chose it.

>lesadfaecman.png

“Anon!”

>”Oh thank god, you’re not a voice in my head!”

>Twilight Sparkle’s puzzled face peeks out from behind the computer monitor across from you.

“W-What? You feeling okay, Anon?”

>”Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?”

>Her face flushes slightly, her cheeks stained a darker colour than usual.

“C-Can you meet me in the chemistry lab after school? I-I’ve been reading up on this one topic, which some might find a little controversial,and I might need your help to accomplish the goals of my experiment.”

>”What?”

“Can you meet me in the chem lab after school?”

>”Yeah, ‘course.”

“S-See you then, Anon.”

>She gathers all of her supplies and books together, and rushes out of the library, avoiding your gaze all the while.

>Damn, the fuck’s up with her?

>Ah well, it’s probably just the fact universally agreed upon by males the world over.

>Bitches be crazy.

>You drag yourself through your classes, barely paying any attention at all to the events that transpire.

>If this is going to be what you think it is, you might be going home minus your virginity.

>Twilight isn’t a ten, but you’re not complaining.

>You are all aboard the hype train.

>Just think, in a couple hours, you could have a qt 3.14 squirming underneath the assault of your tongue and fingers.

>You can even see it in your mind’s eye.

>Twilight lies on her back, jeans tossed aside in a moment of passion.

>Her panties, damp from her arousal, are pushed to left in order to allow you easy access.

>You plant slow kisses, starting at her neck, and proceeding downwards.

>Past her soft breasts.

>Down her flat chest and still further past her belly button.

>You reach her womanhood, completing your trail of hickeys from neck to clit.

>Your lips touch lightly against her love button, and her rapid breaths only serve to spur you further.

>Your tongue flicks out, pressing on it and drawing out squeaks and moans from Twilight.

>Oh, this is gonna be good.

>You ignore Norman’s feeble attempts to flirt with Rarity, funny as they are.

>You pay no heed to Flash’s promposal to Lyra, even though it involves sixteen Irish midgets, a pony painted blue and covered in toothpaste, the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song, and John Goodman beating down a Ferrari with a crowbar while screaming about fucking people in the ass.

>Finally, the hour arrives, and you make your way to the chem lab.

>You detect a hint of burning shit and sulfur.

>A large pentagram has been drawn in the center of the room, with the desks and tables pushed off to the side.

>Candles provide the only light in the room, causing the room to flicker in tune with the candlelight.

>A hooded figure stands over a small fire, which burns in a metal bowl in a corner of the room.

>Muttered chanting fills the room.

>What in the name of deep fried country Jesus crackers?

>”Uh, the fuck is this?”

>The hooded figure swivels around, revealing Twilight.

“Perfect, you’re here! Anyway Anon, I told you. I needed you for an experiment.”

>”Yeah, but you didn’t say it was fucking Satanic!”

>She rolls her eyes.

“Anon, in order for science to proceed, one must look into the other side of the spectrum.”

>Dis bish crazy alarms blare on inside of your head.

>”That doesn’t mean you fucking summon Satan in your goddamn chem classroom, Twilight!”

>Again, another fucking eye roll.

“Anon, I just need you to hold the book while I summon the demon. Besides, it’s not Lucifer. It is a minor demon of knowledge named Ronwe.”

>Wait a minute.

>”How could that help science. Twilight?”

>She blushes.

“W-Well, it’s not for science this time.”

>wat.png

>”Then what the hell is it for?”

“I need to learn Ancient Greek in order to summon demons from Greek mythology. I already know Ancient Roman, Egyptian, and Sanskrit. I don’t have the time to try and learn Ancient Greek, and this demon is a demon of ancient languages and knowledge, so I’m going to use its powers to let me read it.”

>”So you’re summoning a demon in order to learn how to summon more demons?”

“Yes.”

>As soon as you open the door, you are smacked right in the goddamn face by a wave of shitty smells.