- >Be at the park, kicking it under a tree after days of paranoia and thwarting Flutterrapist and Applefucker
- >Wondering if you'll ever be able to go back to your world
- >How long has it been?
- >You've lost track of time here; it seems like you've been in Ponyville forever
- >Your memories of your world have gotten hazy, like trying to recall a dream
- >A loud noise startles you back to reality
- >It's like a jet engine right over your head
- >Look up, see a blue streak followed by a rainbow trail
- >Rainbro Dash
- >You watch your bro speed around the sky clearing clouds, being awesome
- >You'd call out to get her attention be you don't want to break her concentration
- >Sit back and watch your bro fly for a while
- >Space out again, thinking how cool it would be to fly with your bro
- >You'd be the kings of the sky. Two bros hanging out in the clouds
- >No more needing your bro to carry you or mooch a balloon off Twilight
- >Too bad your skinny ass can't grow wings
- >...Or can it?
- >You get up and run to Twilight's place
- >You get to Twilight's library and see Spike with a stack of books about to go in the door
- >Hey Spike, is Twilight around?
- >"Yeah, she's inside. She's had her nose in some book for like, ever. I bet she could use a break."
- >You go in the library and find a purple unicorn surrounded by stacks of books, reading the hell out of one
- >Her horn is glowing and a quill is furiously scribbling notes, surrounded by an incandescent cloud of sparkles
- >She doesn't seem to notice you, she just keeps reading and scribbling
- >You clear your throat
- >She looks up with such a start that the quill flies across the room and the books nearly topple over on her
- >Uhh, hey, Twilight, Spike let me in, you're not too busy are you?
- >She's got a manic look in her eye, trying to hold the stack of books from falling
- >"No, no, it's fine, what can I do for you, Anon?"
- >Well I was out watching Rainbow do her thing earlier, and I know you did that spell with the floaty books last week
- >"My Levitating Litany of Literature?" She looks confused
- >...Uh, sure, that. Anyway, I want to know if you can magic me so I can fly or something
- >"Well...I guess I could try. I do know a wings spell for ponies, but I don't know if it will work for a..."
- >Human. These ponies are weird when it comes to talking about you
- >"Right, it's a really hard spell, but it couldn't hurt to try, and it could help me understand how the spell works anyway."
- >Her horn lights up brighter than you've ever seen it. Your bro's gonna flip shit. This was a good idea.
- >THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA
- >All the spell did was make a horde of moths latch themselves onto your back
- >"Don't panic, I can fix this! Just calm down! SPIIIKE!" Twilight is scurrying around looking for a book, almost panicked herself
- >Oh god their fucking bug legs
- >fixitfixitfixitfixitfixit...fixitfixitfixit
- >Spike comes in, half-eaten ruby in hand "What's all this noise about, Twili-"
- >He sees you, drops the ruby, and doubles over laughing
- >pokerface.html
- >"Spike, stop laughing and help me find this book!" Twilight is unamused
- >Five minutes of buggy goodness later and you make it out of the library, Twilight in tow spouting apologies
- >It's fine, Twilight, I'll just figure out another way to get off the ground that doesn't involve any eldritch horrors
- >Remember that Pinkie has a cannon and a head for insane inventions
- >Maybe a glider? No, you need something with more 'oomph'
- >Also remember that Pinkie almost got one over on you last time you talked
- >Maybe she'll have settled down and given up on trying to play Sluttershy?
- >...dammit
- >You go to Sugar Cube Corner anyway. No matter what, you're determined to fly with your bro
- >The door chimes as you enter the sweet shop
- >Guarded, you approach the counter and wait
- >You don't have to wait long, as Pinkie Pie flings herself to the counter faster than you can blink
- >"Hey Anon, what can I get for you? Cupcakes? Ooh, or maybe some cookies, or OOH! How about some cake or-"
- >You stop listening. Seems like she's forgotten about last time, or at least is acting like it
- >Actually, Pinkie, I wanted to know how you build all your crazy party machines?
- >Her eyes light up, has no one ever asked that before?
- >"Omigosh, nopony's ever asked to see my workshop before! Come on back and I'll show you where I make all my party crackers and carts and ooh! THE PARTY CANNON!" She's really excited.
- >Better watch your back
- >You follow her into the back of the shop, where she has tools and benches set up, with projects in various stages of completion scattered around
- >Impressive workshop here, Pinkie, you built all these yourself?
- >She excitedly starts talking about all the projects she's worked on, all the way up to the propeller she built for Tank.
- >So THAT'S how they got the turtle to fly
- >If Tank can do it, why shouldn't it work for you?
- >Say Pinkie, you think you could make me a propeller or something like you make for Tank?
- >The pink earth pony thinks for a minute before rushing over to a workbench and scribbling something
- >"Wowie zowie! This is the best idea I've had yet!"
- 4/x
- >So you can do it?
- >"Of course I can, silly! And don't worry about paying, I'm sure we can figure something out."
- >You don't like the tone her voice took at the end there, but she's your only option for getting up in the air
- >...Right, sure, Pinkie
- >You back out of the room slowly
- >I'll come back in a few days and see how it's coming along
- >She eyes you for a few seconds before quickly turning back to her bench
- >You think you can deal with Pinkie if it comes to that. She's no Sluttershy or Applerape
- >Rainbro is gonna flip shit when she sees you flying like a boss, and this time, no magic to go horribly wrong
- >Decide to go home; the sun is going down
- >Walking back to your place
- >Fuck it's dark. How did the sun set so fucking fast?
- >Hear motion in the tree you're passing
- >awhellno.jpg
- 5/x
- >Brace for impact
- >Your eyes are shut when the pegasus slams into you
- >You hit the ground with her on top of your chest
- >Fucking Slutters-
- >Your thoughts are cut off when you open your eyes to see your bro
- >She falls off of you, laughing her flank off
- >"You should see the look on your face, Anon!"
- >She sees your pokerface and calms down her laughing
- >"Oh, lighten up, Anon, if it were Fluttershy you know I'd have your back"
- >You always do, bro
- >She blushes but it's so dark you don't notice
- >"You on your way home? You want to come over to my place and hang out?"
- >Sure, Rainbow, sounds awesome. You pound her hoof with your hand
- >Your bro hoists you up and flies you to her house
- >Soon she won't have to carry you, you think to yourself
- 6/x
- >Four days later
- >Go to Sugar Cube Corner
- >Pinkie comes out of the back room so fast she might as well be flying
- >"Ooh Anon! You're just in time! I have a teeny-weeny itsy-bitsy model of what you wanted all made up!"
- >She speeds to her workshop and back to the counter
- >Crazy mare is enthusiastic about frigging everything
- >She puts the model on the counter
- >It has a disturbingly accurate scale model of you attached to the rig
- >You don't ask questions about it
- >That's really cool, Pinkie, I think that's going to work just fine
- >She's built a frame for you to pilot the device with a propeller above you and a stabilizer behind
- >Goddamn, for all the crazy random antics, Pinkie's a fucking wizard with pony technology
- >"I'll have the final machine for you in a week!"
- >Her voice changes from peppy and high to an eerie low breathy sound
- >"And then we can discuss your payment"
- >What have you gotten yourself into
- 7/x
- >The next week crawls by. You chalk it up to excitement for your soon-to-be flying
- >In the back of your mind you know it's actually dread for what Pinkie's idea of "payment" will be
- >Dodge two Flutterrape attempts and get saved from an Applejacking by your bro
- >Day finally comes to pick up your flying machine
- >Holy shit, you think. You still can't believe a pony could pull off making something that can fly without magic
- >Go to Sugar Cube Corner again
- >Crowd of ponies surrounds Pinkie Pie. Fucking balloons everywhere
- >So much for surprises, but Rainbro is nowhere to be seen
- >Make your way through the crowd to where Pinkie is standing
- >After making a long, hyperactive speech, she unveils your flyer
- >So much win. You can't wait to take it out for a go.
- >Ponies clear an area as Pinkie explains the workings
- >"Well the first thing you do is get in and secure the straps..."
- >Whole thing seems perfectly fitted to you, which is a little creepy, since Pinkie never took any measurements...
- >"...so you just pull this lever and use these pedals to spin the propellers!"
- >You probably should have been listening harder to that instruction, but you think you got the gist
- >Up up, and away?
- 8/x
- >This thing's easy enough to fly, just like riding a bike, only way up in the air
- >Oohs and aahs from the crowd. Guess they've only ever seen pegasi and balloons fly
- >Take it to the limit, Anon
- >Lean forward and pedal as fast as you can; you find yourself going faster than you ever could on foot
- >At this rate you might even keep up with-
- >Sluttershy pulls up along side you
- >"Oh, Anon, you're up so very high, you could fall."
- >She moves closer and closer to you, eying you as you pedal to stay aloft
- >Of course she shows up now, you think, now that your hands are occupied steering and your feet are pedaling
- >You're essentially defenseless as she starts poking at you with her nose, trying to find your pants zipper as you pedal
- >Goddamnit, this is not good
- >You stop pedaling and let yourself fall to escape
- >Sluttershy squeals in surprise and falls behind as you frantically try to stop the fall
- >You regain control and see the pegasus in pursuit
- >Oh, it. is. on.
- >Full throttle, baby. You pull away and lose Sluttershy before returning to Pinkie and the crowd to land.
- 9/x
- >After getting mobbed by the crowd and offered a job delivering Rose's roses, Pinkie beckons you inside the shop
- >"So did you like it, Anon? Huh? I'm not sure what to call it but I have a few ideas, want to hear them?"
- >That's okay, Pinkie, I'll just call it a helicopter for now.
- >"Ooh, helicopter, that's no fun, what about whirly-do or zippy-dippy or *gasp* WHIRLY-DIPPY!"
- >I'll keep those in mind. It's great though, you've really outdone yourself here
- >You've got a bad feeling about this, but you're going to get to fly with your bro, so you go ahead anyway
- >"Well it's good you like it, Anon," Pinkie's voice changes to her creepy seduction voice again
- >"Because we still have to work out how you'll repay me."
- >Of course, you knew this was coming AND you spent all your bits on booze with Dash yesterday, like an idiot
- >You look at your shoes knowing that you brought this on yourself
- >Maybe you'll take Rose up on that job offer after all
- >You look back up at the counter
- >Pinkie's got that look in her eye
- >This could get bad, what are you saying? This WILL get bad
- >But you're too focused on flying with Rainbro to turn down the machine Pinkie built
- >What did you have in mind, Pinkie?
- >You know where this is going and you know you're going to regret this, but fuck it, it's for your bro
- >"Weeeeeelllllllllllllllll... to pay me back for the whirly-dippy we could go in the back room..."
- 10/x
- >"...and you could help me clean the kitchen. Gummy made a huge mess in there with one of his wild nights!"
- >Her tone changes again, the bipolar mare, back to her usual high hyper voice
- >No, Pinkie, I can't do- Wait, what?
- >You look past her to see the baby alligator sitting on the counter surrounded by flour and dough and...bottles?
- >Pinkie laughs and places a hoof on your shoulder
- >"What did you THINK I was going to have you do? Rainbow would have my head if she found out I did whatever YOU were thinking about."
- >Your bro has your back, and Pinkie knows it. Such a good bro.
- >"Unless," she says in her low voice
- >"You want to pay me back, some other way?"
- >I'll help you clean Gummy's mess, Pinkie
- >You let out a relieved sigh
- >Pinkie seems disappointed, but still plotting something, you know it
- >Dodged a bullet there...sort of...
- >You finish cleaning without Pinkie trying anything funny except a few pranks and jokes
- >Go outside to your flying machine and look up to see Rainbow doing loops in the park
- >All the win in the world is about to go down, bro, get ready
- >You get in and take off
- >Time to blow your bro's mind
- 11/x
- >Closing in on Dash, going fast as a motherfucker towards your bro
- >She doesn't hear you coming, just keeps doing her thing
- >You get close enough to yell
- >Hey Dashie!
- >Your bro whips around to look for who called her
- >She sees you on your insane Pinkie-engineered flying machine, pumping your dumb monkey legs to stay in the air
- >Her jaw drops and her concentration breaks, sending her careening into the bushes.
- >You whiz over to the crash-site and hover over Dash
- >Her mouth is wide open; she looks like a deer caught in headlights
- >Need a lift, Dashie?
- >Your second use of the nickname snaps her out of it. She blushes, then gets up, stammering questions
- >"How- when did- bu- what the buck, Anon? You can fly now?"
- >You can't tell if she's excited or just really really confused
- >Pinkie made it for me. Want to see what it can do?
- >"Y-you know it, Anon!"
- >You fly around with your bro showing off your newfound mobility
- >This worked out really well
- >Almost too well...
- >Oh well
- 12/x
- >You fly with your bro until the sun starts going down
- >This is gonna make hanging out so much cooler
- >At least 20% cooler, though you were never really great at math
- >It's getting dark now, you both decide to call it a day
- >Hey Dash, how about some booze and movies at my place to celebrate getting my wings?
- >"I think you meant movies and booze, but I'll let it slide if you beat me there."
- >You serious, bro?
- >"Anon, if you beat me there, booze is on ME."
- >Can't refuse THAT challenge. It's ON, bro.
- >You pedal faster than you've ever pedaled before
- >Look to your side. Holy shit, you're keeping up with the Dash!
- >She looks right back at you, smirks, blasts ahead of you, and leaves you in a trail of rainbow
- >You wonder if Pinkie can supe up her invention, but decide that you should wait until you can pay her in gold instead of potential mental scarring.
- >Make it home. See Dash leaning on your door, ego practically beaming from her.
- >"Well you can fly, I'll give you that, but you're still a slowpoke, Anon."
- >You laugh through wheezing breaths and let her in.
- >You know, you never said what happens if YOU win, bro
- >She stops for a second before answering
- >"Well I knew I'd win anyway, so I didn't think of anything."
- >"But if you're gonna split hairs, then I guess you can come with me to Cloudsdale for my flight school reunion next week."
- >You got it, bro.
- >You spend all night watching movies and drinking.
- >What a bro.
- End

