Title:           Shitty One-Off (Finished)
Author:          Fate_Unknown
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/LZNCG43m
First Edit:      Monday 4th of July 2016 11:26:34 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Tuesday 26th of July 2016 03:14:56 AM CDT

> M-mister w-would y-you l-like s-some f-filly s-scout c-cookies        
 
>"Ummmm, ummm, yeah.
>"Uh, let me get my wallet in ths pile of ga..."
> "I mean, let my uh, go find my w-wallet."
> Looks for wallet
> Sounds of rustled cans and papers can be heard
> The distinct smell of body odor, old pizza, and shit emminate from the opened door"
> The little filly regrets ringing the doorbell
>"M-mister, I think I'll j-just go...."
> "NO! No, don't go!" The fat neckbeard says just before he trips over his filth.
> He groans a mighty "AHhh", and then gets up
> "I have my wallet! I can buy your cookies."
> The fat neckbeard tries to change his composure.
> " Like, who would pass up a chance to get some delicious cookies from a cute, little filly like you!"
> He shows his green, mishapen teeth in a smile to emphasize that what he said was a joke
> The filly scout shivers and backs away a bit
> The neckbeard gets closer
> He realizes what he just said
> "Oh, I'm not a pedophile or anything. I'm joking."
> " I mean, sometimes I fap to lolis and foalcon, but I'm not a...."
> He stops talking
> Attempts damage control
> The damage has already been done
> "Yeah. I 'll uh. Buy cookies."
> The filly's ears perk up at the chance of getting way from this guy right away while still getting cash
> "What will you have, sir?" She says while mustering up the nicest facade one can to someone of his kind
> "I'll have twenty boxes of thin mints, twenty boxes of caramel deLites, and thirty boxes of Samaos."
> "Holy shit!" The filly mutters silently
> "Okay, be right up."
> She hands him his cookies
> The neckbeard hands her crumpled currency with his cheese puff stained hands
> She begrudgingly takes it, smiling uneasily
> "Yeah, thanks for the cookies. Um, sorry for spilling my sphagetti everwhere."
>"T-thank you"
> The filly walks off thinking about how such a horrible situation can turn into something so great
> She looks at the dirty money ands sighs
> "Well, off to the next door!"
> End