- >Just another day on the job
- >dispatched to district 3 code sc-9
- >word of tinny screams heard from broken down house
- >I take the left side and the others take the left
- >start smashing down the doors
- >"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP"
- >suddenly naked hairy man wearing glasses runs out and jumps on a unicycle
- >the others give chase while I investigate the house
- >find about ten fluffy ponies
- >one has gone under so much trauma that it just stays silent with a terrified look on its face
- >"wan' noo daddeh" is heard throughout the room
- >the smell is unbearable as you carry them out to the truck kennels
- >you plan to adopt one of these soon thanks to the incident
- >truck is loaded and I drive out
- >NEXT TIME, ON PORTLAND ANIMAL COPS
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