(SFW) Sollux and Kanaya become Roommates Hilarity Ensues WIP

Karkat pinched the bridge of his nose as he started at the bright screen. The words on the screen complained and moaned in their disgusting mustard text, as Sollux pleaded for his expert advice. He desperately wanted to laugh at him for his idiocy and shortcomings but in this case, he really couldn't. He angrily slammed away at the keyboard, trying to get to the root of the problem. What the hell went wrong here?

 

CG: ALRIGHT, YOU BLITHERING SACK OF ROTTING THINKPAN.

CG: WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS START?

TA: well ii thiink iid have to 2ay iit began when ff hooked u2 up wiith a dual-hiive

CG: GO ON.

TA: well alriight

 

... It wasn't too long ago, when Feferi had decided to lend a helping hand. The two friends in particular were in a tight spot, what with their hives gone and lusii dead, especially with them being pretty low on the spectrum. She suspected that they'd live well together, and when consulting her friendly expert on troll relationships, she had stated that while startlingly different, the two of them would find a "purrfectly" reasonable life with each other. So, with a few strings pulled, Feferi met up with her two friends with a deed, a key, and a few words of support.

 

"You'll be fine together!" She had exclaimed. "You'll find each other to be great company!" She declared. "This is a great idea, trust me!"

 

With confused glances at one another, they took their keys, and moved in together.

 

That had been half a sweep ago.

 

CG: OKAY NOW HOLD ON.

CG: FEFERI HELPED YOU?

CG: EMPRESS-TO-BE?

CG: THE TYRIAN BLOODED SEADWELLER THAT HOLDS ALL HER SECRETS IN HER HAIR?

TA: 2he doe2nt keep 2ecret2 iin her haiir kk

CG: EXPLAIN WHY IT'S SO FUCKING HUGE THEN.

CG: I'M WAITING.

CG: TRUST ME I HAVE ALL FUCKING NIGHT.

TA: look thii2 ii2 fuckiing poiintle22

TA: the poiint ii2 kan and ii have been liiviing together for a whiile now and

TA: and thiing2 have been comiing up between u2

TA: weiird feeliing2 thiing2

CG: YOU SHARED THAT EARLIER.

CG: WHAT KIND OF FEELINGS, AND HOW DID THEY ARISE?

TA: ii dunno

TA: after a whiile 2he ju2t kiind of

TA: grew on me

 

"Sollux please. Take better care of yourself."

 

"What are you talking about? Why are you up at thith hour?"

 

"Sollux... it's the middle of the day."

 

Sollux typed away at his keyboard, and scoffed at her statement.

 

"Don't be ridiculouth, it'th only..." Sollux looked back for a second, past Kanaya to the clock on the wall. "Yeah, that'th what I thought. Only 3 PM."

 

"Sollux." Kanaya warned, putting a hand on his shoulder. Sollux turned around angrily, rising from his seat.

 

"What do you... you..." he began, but failed to keep talking as the sudden upward rush caused him to fall over.

 

"Sollux!" Kanaya shouts, before she caught him, preventing him from hitting the ground hard. "Sollux? Sollux, are you okay?!"

 

"Shh. Shh." he managed to whisper under shallow breaths. "No no. No more noitheth. Jutht rethting. Here on... the ground. Yeth." Sollux's stomach loudly snarled, and Kanaya put her hand up on Sollux's forehead.

 

"Sollux you're burning up!" Kanaya choked. Her maternal instincts kicked in, and she began her interrogation. "When was the last time you slept? And ate? And drank?!"

 

"Muhhhh." Was all he could say, before he slipped out of consciousness.

 

Kanaya panicked. This wasn't exactly what she was signing up for when she was given a key to this hive. The unconscious psionic lay in her arms, and Kanaya did what she knew any sane lusus would do. She rushed him to his recuperacoon, slathered him in sopor slime, and went back into the kitchen to prepare something -- anything -- for him to eat.

 

Sollux woke up a few hours later, as night began to dusk. Shaking the sopor slime from his body, and the torpor from his glowing, flashing eyes, he pulled himself half out of his recuperacoon, and reached to his bedside table for his glasses. Not there. He rested his back on the edge of the portcullis, groaning softly, as someone entered the room.

 

"Oh, Sollux. You're awake. I suppose calling Terezi over was an ill-planned move." Kanaya casually remarked, laughing softly at her own joke. She closed the door behind her as she entered with a platter in her hands.

 

"What... Kan? What's going on? What am I doing in the slime?" Sollux asked as he attempted to focus on her face.

 

Kanaya tutted, holding the platter in one hand and pushing him down into the slime. She was surprisingly strong; probably because of her blood. Sollux -- along with pretty much every other troll -- sometimes wondered what the hell was up with Jadebloods.

 

"You had a nasty fall due to undernourishment, lack of sleep, and dehydration." She scolded, sitting by his cocoon and positioning the platter on her lap. "So I got you into bed, prepared some wonderful food, a bottle of water, and a warm bath for you!"

 

"Thoundth great..." He replied, a bit dazed.

 

"Open your mouth."

 

"What?"

 

"Open. You need food."

 

"You're not feeding me like I'm a baby. Give me the thpoon." Sollux growled as he pulled himself out of the portcullis. He sat angrily on the rim, slapping away Kanaya's poking and insistent, careful hands.

 

"NO! You are going to lay down and I will feed you!" She insisted.

 

"No!"

 

"Sollux, EAT THE FOOD!"

 

"AAAAH! GET OFF OF ME!"

 

With that, Kanaya suddenly dove into the portcullis, pushing Sollux in, using the tray to pin him inside. The bowl of cluckbeast soup sloshed about dangerously, close to spilling over, but thankfully remained contained. Sollux gripped and scratched at Kanaya's wrists and hands, trying to wrestle the spoon away. The cluckbeast chunk that was sitting on the spoon has long been tossed away as the two wrestle. Kanaya went to plunge the spoon into Sollux's mouth, but as he knocked the spoon out of her hand, he only got a mouthful of Kanaya's fingers. Kanaya froze up, her delicate fingers accidentally resting in Sollux's warm and wet mouth. Sollux only managed to gawk with open mouth as Kanaya blushed from her sensitive digits being catered to by his tongue.

 

As if to make matters more uncomfortably awkward, Terezi answered the call at long last, and burst into the room.

 

"I just let myself in, seeing as you ignored my knocks. Do I smell cluckbeast soup?" she asks, as Kanaya and Sollux freeze.

 

"Oh. Uh, well, you see..." Kanaya begins to fumble as she removes her hand from Sollux's mouth.

 

"Kan, shh," Sollux whispers. "She'th blind, remember?" Kanaya quietly nodded and went back to replying to Terezi.

 

"Yes that is indeed cluckbeast soup." She recovers, smiling pointlessly at the troll in the doorway. "I thought I would just feed him some here, as he's been very compliant, since I put him in bed and shut down his compute-"

 

"WHAT!?" Sollux screeched, and suddenly renewed his fight to get Kanaya off of him and get out of bed.

 

"Sollux no you need to stay in bed!" Kanaya replied, and gripped his wrists and pinned him in the recuperacoon. Sollux snarled and twisted to try and get out of her iron-grip, but only exhausted himself.

 

"So... do you want me to leave you two alone? Am I not needed?" Terezi said, from the loneliness of the doorway. Kanaya and Sollux once again turned to face her, and this time it was Sollux that spoke up.

 

"Yeth, I think that may be a good idea."

 

"Okay. Later, chumps. Hehehehe." She dismissed, before walking back to the hive's front door. "Oh, and Kanaya?" She called back.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Make sure to pester me and AC about this later. We want to know what it's like to straddle the Captor." Terezi guffawed and howled with laughter as she left the two guests to their odd courtship.