Title:           [Classic FR] Flutterbrit
Author:          Etiquette
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/qyhN97a2
First Edit:      Monday 19th of November 2012 02:00:37 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 19th of November 2012 02:00:37 AM CDT

>Day of the Queen in Equestria.
>Wake up feeling like shit.
>Roll out of bed.
>Hit floor.
>Attempt the dinosaur.
>Fail miserably.
>Roll out to the kitchen.
>Pour yourself something from what feels like a cereal box.
>You don't even look up.
>Pour it on the floor.
>You don't care.
>Fluttershy cleans this shit daily anyway.
>Just one of her many attempts to get in your pants.
>Hear light squishing sounds coming from the door.
>How do these ponies get anything done with their fucking marshmallow bodies?
>Roll your way to the door.
>Reach up and scratch at the handle until you somehow miraculously get it to open.
>Look up from your apathy-burrito state.
>It's fucking Sunlight Timid.
>And she's wearing some dumb flatcap.
>She looks like a 1920's paperboy.
>"Wot are you lookin at, innit?"
>You just stare at her.
>"Oy, it's 7 bong alretty."
>You sigh.
>You just wanted to be a fucking log today.
Fluttershy. What are you doing?
>"I 'eard you've been lookin' at my bird, mate."
I... don't even...
>"Right-o, then. Fancy a shag?"
>You don't even care enough to slam the door in her face.
>You simply roll away, back into your home.
No Fluttershy. The time when all the Americans are going to sleep in not my fetish.
>Fucking Flutterbrit