A beyond normal Anon

>Be Anon

>Reletively new resident to Equestria.

>Relative being... What?

>A couple of months maybe?

>You couldn't tell.

>All you remember is being in your car and hitting that tree, then you wound up in the outskirts ofthis little place called ponyville.

>You think you may be in a coma or dead at this point, but you're still suspicious.

>Especially with the, "When you die you go to a magical land filled with talking horses, griffons, and even dragons."

>Being an accountant on Earth, you often think rationally, and this just didn't add up.

>Add up

>Accountant

>You chuckle at your own joke for a short second while balancing some numbers for the Mayor of Ponyville, Mayor Mare.

>Shortly after arriving in ponyville you were approached by a small purple unicorn maybe half your height.

>She said her name was Twilight Sparkle.

>She spent the first few minutes of your encounter asking an unreasonable amount of questions and the next few mumbling something about "Princess Celestia."

>You assumed it was some sort of local ruler and your suspicions were later confirmed.

>After spending a few days in a small bed, inside of a library, inside of a tree you soon met Princess Celestia.

>She was an almost actual sized white horse with a horn, wings, and a flowing mane of pink, blue, and green.

>After a few reasonably spaced questions, you told her where you were from and how you arrived where you did.

>She didn't flinch like it was out of the ordinary.

>She just listened and smiled gently.

>After hearing what you had to say, she asked Twilight if it was okay for you to continue living in the library.

>The pony eagerly shook her head at the princess's request and agreed.

>Before Celestia left she asked if you had any skills that could help the local ponies.

>You told her you had a degree in accounting and she said

>"I think I have just the job for you."

>Ever since then, you've been living with Twilight and working the budget for ponyville in the town hall.

>Honestly it wasn't that far off from your job on Earth.

>You worked for a small corporation, balancing the budget mostly.

>A pretty drab life.

>Equestria, however, had adventure.

>Tales of thousand-year-old empires appearing out of nowhere and small flying creatures that replicated faster than rabbits tantalized your craving for adventure.

>In fact you'd seen a few exciting things yourself.

>There was that one time Pinkie Pie duplicated herself.

>But you were too busy with the budget to figure out what was going on while it was happening.

>But how about that time that blue unicorn came to town and challenged Twilight to a magic duel?

>No, wait, you were working on the budget then too...

>Now that you think about it, there hadn't been much excitement for you at all.

>For almost as long as you can remember since arriving here, you've been working on the budget.

>It doesn't seem logical to you, considering what little income the town has.

>In fact everything is pretty balanced up to this- hold on.

>What's this?

>There's an unusual amount of money in both the surveillance and miscellaneous budget.

>Why would a place like this need to keep surveillance on a bunch of peaceful citizens?

>You decide to ask Mayor Mare about it.

"Ms. Mare, could you come in here for a second?"

>She trots in with a smile.

>"Yes, Anon? Is something wrong?"

"Yes, there seems to be an abnormality in the surveillance and miscellaneous budgets."

>You show her the papers.

"Is this supposed to be happening or..?"

>She begins to look nervous behind her smile.

>"Oh! Yes! That. That's perfectly fine I assure you."

"What's it going to?"

>"Oh, you know. Just simple... surveilling and... miscellaneous government things."

>She begins to sweat as another sign of her nervousness.

>"Is there something else going on here?"

>You feel like you're on the edge of a major government conspiracy.

>She sighs.

>"I can trust you, right, Anonymous?"

"Of course"

>She walks over to the window and takes a deep breath.

>"There's been some... murders recently in our fair town, Anon."

"What?"

>"Yes, unfortunately, this is true. The serveillance budget has gone mostly to trying to catch the killer in the act, though our efforts thusfar have been unsuccessful. As for the miscellaneous budget..."

>She takes in another deep breath.

>"It's funds have gone mostly to keeping all evidence of it from the public."

>Bingo.

>Conspiracy.

"What? Why?"

>"Do you see these ponies, Anon?"

>You walk over to the window she's staring out of.

"Yeah."

>"Their society... Our society is one based on peace. Most common ponies, like the ones before you, can't handle any sort of danger without panicing. Mass panic is the last thing we need with a murderer running around. It's easy to pick one pony out of a crowd of many that are panicing."

"But Mayor, they have a right to know."

>"Anon, you have to understand. We're doing this for them."

>She sighs.

>"Look I know you don't understand, but it's the way it has to be."

"Well what if I tell them?"

>She turns to you with a surprised and angry look.

>"What?"

"You heard me. What if I tell them about the murders?"

>She drops her head in disappointment.

>"And here I was thinking I could trust you. Fine, what's it going to take to keep you quiet?"

>This was it.

>Your chance at excitement.

>Your chance for adventure!

>All within your grasp.

>All at a moral cost, though.

>The name of the game was blackmail.

>You'd never been one to encourage such an action, but, being formerly employed in the world of business, you were no stranger to the dirty tricks that keep pockets lined with cash and business running smoothly and uninterrupted by any whistleblowers or government agents.

>Though in some cases, such as this, a whistleblower was threatening to disassemble an establishment unless benefitted.

>And your benefit was almost anything you could desire.

>What you desired was simple.

>You'd always admired the Mayor's beauty and the complexity of her plot.

>Now it could be yours.

"Ok, then. I know what I want."

>"What?"

"You."

>She turns towards you with a raised eyebrow, unamused.

>"Excuse me?"

"You're an exceptional mare, Ms. Mayor. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tad bit attracted to you."

>"Let me stop you right there, Anonymous. No."

>Aww.

>Rejection.

>Well, you tried.

>Too bad you were too afraid of her serious side to try to push it.

>"Name something realistic."

>You give it some time, taking your bland life into consideration, and come up with something you feel will deliver you the excitement you oh so craved.

"I want to help with the murder investigation."

>"Really?"

>She looks slightly surprised, but tries to keep the steely face she's put on.

>"Why?"

>You get down on her level and look her straight in the eye.

"Anything to get out of this office and stop crunching numbers."

>"To each his own, I suppose. Fine. You're on the team. I'll talk to the guard and you can start tomorrow."

>Excitement internally builds.

>Despite this you hide it and keep your cool.

"All right then. I guess I'll finish today's work then."

>Mayor Mare begins to return to her office.

>"Please do."

>She shuts the door behind her.

>The last few hours of your day move along and then you are allowed to go home.

>While on your usual walk back home you begin to walk past a snall outdoor coffee shop.

>Seeing as you're already on a path of shaking things in your life up a bit, you decide to stop for a cup of coffee.

>It's seems a lot better than your usual "home, work, home" routine and proves to be so.

>You buy a newspaper from a nearby news stand then take a seat and wait to be waited on.

>You begin to read your newspaper, but it isn't long before you're interrupted by a pink mare with a straight darker pink mane.

>"May I take your order?"

>You look up from your paper to see her rather downtroughten.

>She looks awfully familiar.

>Something about being completely pink.

>But you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

>You begin to suspect it could be Pinkie, but with a straight mane and a sad attitude like that it couldn't possibly be Pinkie.

>You abandon your suspicions and just give her your order.

"Yes, I'll just take a cup of coffee."

>"Okay. I'll get that out to you as soon as I can."

>She walks towards the shop, but it isn't long before she's stopped by someone asking for her attention to be waited on.

>You go back to your reading, though it isn't long before your mind begins to wander on who the killer might be.

>It could be Twilight.

>She's always doing some strange experiments on volunteers.

>Maybe some of her experiments are getting out of hand.

>Then again she is Celestia's prized student.

>That goody two horse shoes couldn't kill a pony if she tried.

>She's soft, just like most ponies.

>So you begin to think about other, tougher, ponies.

>Applejack, perhaps.

>Maybe somebody did her dirty on an apple deal or something.

>Perhaps even Big Macintosh.

>He could be getting into some bad bar fights that turn even worse.

>You know he's usually a quiet stallion, but alcohol changes personalities.

>Then again, it could be Rainbow Dash.

>She could've finally found somebody she couldn't beat, then made sure there wasn't anyone better than her.

>Yet you brush all of these suspicions aside because they are all lacking a proper motive.

>You'll start to figure it out tomorrow anyway.

>No need to worry about it now.

>The knock of a coffee mug on the table breaks your thought.

"Thanks."

>The waitress doesn't even turn back around.

>"Don't mention it," she mumbles before walking off.

>She was a good looking mare.

>This much you did know about her.

>What you wouldn't give to have a lass like her on your arm.

>You know what?

>You're shaking up your life, why not finally get out of this lonely awkward state.

>You decide to try to start a conversation with her.

>After a few moments of preparation you finally work up the courage.

"Excuse me, miss."

>She notices you and comes over.

>"Yes?"

"Um..."

>You... didn't actually expect to get this far.

>Come on, where's that courage now?

"Could I have some sugar for my coffee."

>She walks off before responding again.

>"Sure."

>You don't even like sugar in your coffee.

>You thought you had it.

>But... you just panicked.

>You can always try again.

>You watch her slyly as she serves the other customers.

>Her hooves shake when she pours the coffee.

>It seems she's a little off.

>Distressed.

>You could tell this wasn't how she usually was.

>Something had to be bothering her.

>You wonder what it is.

>She probably didn't get a goodnight's sleep or something.

>Maybe life's wearing her down.

>You've been there.

>Being an accountant isn't exactly gunfights and car chases.

>She goes inside the shop and comes back out.

>She's coming this way.

>This is your chance Anon.

>All you have to do is articulate the words.

>She places a few packets of sugar on the table.

>"Let me know if you need anything else."

"Well..."

>She turns around.

>"Yeah?"

>Come on, come on!

"Nothing. Nevermind."

>You attempt to hide behind your newspaper.

>She develops a somewhat confused look through her blankness.

>"Um... Okay. Let me know if you need anything else."

>Why can't you just talk to her?

>You decide to give up.

>There's always tomorrow, right?

>Yeah! Tomorrow's your day!

>You can feel it.

>You spend about an hour more at the coffee shop, sipping your coffee until it's gone and reading your paper.

>After you're done you leave your payment as well as a substantial tip.

>That should get her attention and get you a head start on tomorrow.

>Until then, though, you return to your humble abode.

>After taking a night shower you crawl into bed, only now realizing how tired you are.

>And slowly your eyes close.

>You open your eyes.

>It's dark and you're running.

>You're being chased you can feel it.

>You take a quick look behind you.

>All you can see is darkness and an approaching pink... pony?

>You hear hoofsteps getting closer and closer until you feel a sharp pain in your back.

>You fall to the ground and just as you impact

"*GAAASP*"

>You sit straight up in your bed, eyes wide open, and breathing heavily.

>You look around the room.

>Daylight is shining through your window.

>You check the clock.

>7:13 AM

>It was only a dream.

>You put your face in your hands and close your eyes, trying to collect yourself and begin whispering:

"It's only a dream, it's only a dream."

>Needless to say it scared you more than it should have.

>It just felt so... real.

>Regardless, it's time to wake up.

>You have to report at 8:00 AM so you'd better hurry.

>You go through the motions and end up on your way to town hall.

>The short walk let's you arrive with time to spare.

>You stop at the front door.

>This is it.

>The day that changes your life forever.

>Your day of excitement.

>You open the front doors and walk in.

>They close behind you.

>You hear a quiet humming coming from the Mayor's office.

>You walk to her door.

>She sticks some papers in a folder then places them in a filing cabinet.

>Only then does she notice you.

>"Oh, hello Anonymous. You're hear early today."

"You know I didn't really have you figured as a morning person."

>Your blunt statement seems to get her cheery attention.

>"What do you mean?"

"You don't usually seem to be have good moods in the mornings."

>"Well, today's a special day Anonymous. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"What's so special about it?"

>"Oh. You haven't heard."

>Her cheerful smile turns to a sly one.

>"The murderer has been caught. We booked them late yesterday evening with a mountain of evidence. Needless to say, I don't think the best lawyer in all of Equestria could get them out of this."

>Your heart sinks.

"So you mean..."

>"Yes, I'm afraid you won't be serving with the investigation team at all. So sorry."

>You know she doesn't mean it.

>It's obvious.

>But it stings even worse knowing that your one chance at something big is gone forever.

"I, uh... guess I'll get to my usual work, then..."

>"Please do."

>You slowly trudge out of her office and towards your desk.

>The rest of the day is just like any other day.

>That's what you hate about it.

>Everyday is exactly the same.

>You put in your eight hours in then pack up to leave.

>Once you've left you go to by that coffee shop again.

>Maybe you can see that pretty mare again.

>When you arrive it's deserted.

>No customers, no employees

>Nothing.

>All you find is a note on the front window.

>"Dear loyal customers,

>we're sorry to inform you that we must close until further notice due to unforeseen circumstances,

>-Management."

>So that was it.

>There was no second chance with that mare anymore.

>You didn't even learn her name.

>With this realization you just go home.

>You open your door, close it, and then lean your back against it.

>You slowly slide down your door until you're just sitting there.

>Nothing but mediocrity and disappointment filling your life.

>Such is the life of the accountant.

 

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