"How Do I Write?" Post

I use this quote often enough that I might as well save it separately.

 

>Day Bullshit in Equestria

>Meet a pony.

>He's a blank flank.

>He's all flankflustered cuz he can't into good story.

>"Aw man how do I write?"

>You put on a small smile and walk over to him.

"Hey, you need writing advice?"

>"I'd love some, yeah!"

>You kneel down to look at his work space. Just a small desk with parchment, ink and quill. The pony droops over it, staring depressingly at the blank page.

"Well, I've always lived by one set of rules."

>"What's that?"

"When something gets hard to do..."

>You lean over to the foal's ear

>And shout.

"You PUT YOUR DICK IN IT."

>Expertly having hidden your unbuttoning pants, you thrust directly into the foal's arse.

"UNF. UNF. YEAH. AW YEAH GURL."

>"EEEOH GOD! I'm a boy!"

"YEAH GURL."

>The foal screams in pain, unable to escape your massive man claws as you thrust.

"PICK UP THAT QUILL AND START WRITING."

>"Eeeeuuh what do I write?!"

"ANYTHING THAT COMES TO MIND. DO IT FAGGOT."

>"Ok, OK! Just please go slower!"

"NO BRAKES."

>The foal starts writing madly, covering line after line in shaky ink lettering.

"PUT SOME EMOTION INTO IT. YOUR CHARACTERS ARE TOO STOIC."

>"What emotion do I use?!"

"ALL OF IIIIIT."

>Your thrusting intensifies, the foal being dragged from the desk with each push and pull.

>"Ok, the first chapter is nearly done!"

"WRAP THAT BITCH UP."

>"I made a novel reference!"

"LOOKS GOOD."

>As he finishes, so do you, spending yourself in a ridiculous Japanese-styled explosion, but none landing on the page. Wiping off the foal, you look at his backside and see something on each flank.

>A book and quill.

"Looks like someone got their cutie mark. What's your name, kid?"

>The foal is dazed, passing out on the desk, but manages a reply.

>"Tra...True Story."

>You stand, slapping his behind as you leave.

"That's a cool story, True Story."