Under the Sky, Above the Earth and Over My Head IV

>Eve of the Anniversary of Anon's Arrival in Equestria

>Be Anon

>Today is a special day for you so you take great care in the way you shower and shave

>You sing a melodious opera tune in the shower

>The door creaks open and you stop quickly

F: Um, Anon? I was wondering if you had any shampoo in here?

A: FlufferShed, I thought we talk about you walking in on me while showering?

>You try to sound angry

F: Oh, we did and I respect your space, however, this is not walking in on you. I am just talking through the small opening in the door

A: Fine... one moment. Do -not- try to open the door any further. I will hand you the soap

F: Thank you, Anon. You're so kind

>You step out of the shower with bubbles in your hair

>Carefully... carefully creep to the door...

>The door bursts open as a white rabbit rushes in

>The cool air causes your dangling and exposed parts to take cover

F: Oh, Anon! I am so sorry. He just wants to fluff his tail so badly

>Angel Bunny snatches the shampoo from you

>You catch Fluttershy peaking at your exposed body

F: I didn't know you had a scar -there-, Anon

>She blushes as you slam the door in her face

>Fluttershy is a clever devil sometimes...

>You finish the routine and suit up

>Today just has to be good

>Pinkie is going to throw you a party to celebrate whatever year this is for you in Equestria

>Can't argue with free cupcakes

>Pinkie's always been a good friend to you as well

>No attempted rape, attempts on your life... nope, not Pinkie Pie!

>She just loves cooking and spending time with friends

>You do worry that Rainbow Dash is going to be there

>As long as there is no alcohol, you're sure you'll be fine

F: Oh, Anon... um, you look great!

>You straighten your tie

A: Thank you, Flutters. I like the way you did you mane today

>She blushes furiously

F: Oh, it's just a little something Rarity suggested. It doesn't make me draw too much attention, does it?

A: I am sure they'd look no matter what you were wearing... or not wearing... whatever

>You step out of your home with Fluttershy behind you

>Since her change of heart, you feel very comfortable with her

>She will occasional try to harass you, but it's been much gentler

>You arrive at Applejack's barn

>Lavishly decorated for a barn house today

>You are glad Applejack suggested using her place for the party

>Nothing felt safer than being with the apple-scented mare

>You've grown extremely attached to her in the last few weeks

AJ: Well, howdy there, Anonymous!

A: Applejack, so nice to see you!

>You hug her tightly

AJ: Pinkie did a bang-up job on the dec'eratin'. Just ya wait 'til ya see what Ah made fer dessert

>Applejack leans in closer

AJ: Ah even got'cha a lil' -gift-. A'course... ya don't have ta' wear it

>She winks and pats your rump

>This dirty flirt, man!

>You smile and stroke her mane quickly

>Pinkie comes bouncing by with balloons tied to her hind-legs

PP: Anon~! Happy Anniversary! Can you believe it's already been a whole, long year since we did this? I was just saying to Gummy yesterday that we should have a party for you again and he agreed and we spent all night picking out the perfect decorations! Can you believe Gummy thought you were into plaid ribbons? Silly gator! Everyp0ny knows Anon likes green streamers!

A: Thank you, Pinkie. That's really nice you remembered

PP: I'd do it for any good friend and you, Anon, are one of the best friends I have!

>You hear another voice perk up

R: Plaid? Oh no, no, no! Dreadful on Anon. He looks best in dark blues and black

>The marshmallow pony speaks freely of you

R: Anonymous, why haven't you come by my boutique in so long? I have been without a challenge forever now!

>She casts her foreleg over her brow

R: Human clothing is truly living art! You shouldn't keep it all to yourself, darling

>You think back to the last time you went to get something tailored at Rarity's place

>She left you in nothing save for your boxer shorts for hours while measuring you with a disturbing closeness

>You look at her knowingly

>She chuckles nervously

R: If it is about that seam incident, well, I had to measure your legs a few times to make sure it was perfect

A: Yes, and the fondling?

R: We~ll~, you honestly can't think I -meant- to grab your manhood. I just had to get an accurate seam!

A: Yes... what of the part where you didn't let go and kind of stared off into space while giggling?

R: I simply -don't- know what you mean. It's not like I was sizing you up like you were some piece of -hot meat-. I would never do that to a friend

>Rarity flips her mane and bats her eyes

R: Besides, I am a lady. Any -stallion- could see how prim and proper I was and what an excellent bedfellow I would make. Wouldn't you agree?

>You find this conversation leading into dangerous territory

>You excuse yourself for punch

>The good thing about Rarity is she is generally a gifted speaker and not an action-mare

>You believe she would want you to make the first move

>It would be easy to deny anything on her part if you were caught

>You shake these crazy notions from you head and proceed to enjoy the festivities

PP: Wooh~! Party's on!

>Pinkie does a ridiculous, if not adorable, dance move from one end of the barn to the other

>You take a cup of punch and swig it quickly

>Having spent so much time eating this saccharine fare, you've built up a tolerance for Pinkie's punch

>It reminded you of Cool-Aid... assuming you put in three times more sugar and half as much water

>You catch a blur of colour from the corner of your eye

>Rainbow Dash speeds over to the punch with her usual disregard

RD: Oh, Anon, you made the party!

A: I would hope so. Pinkie did set it up for me

RD: Oh, well, yeah! But, you know how busy life can be sometimes?

>You nod to humour the blue blaze

A: Did you... want some punch?

RD: Nah, thanks. Too sweet for me. Don't worry, though, because I got a few ciders from AJ earlier. Cold, crisp cider... if you want one?

>You do enjoy Applejack's moonshine, but drinking with Dash has proved hazardous to your health

A: Eh, maybe later. Too early for me to be sloshing around

>Rainbow leans against the table

RD: Yeah, that's cool... sobriety is pretty cool...

>You almost laugh at how poorly Rainbow plays it off

>You save face and go to see Applejack again

>Someone calls out to you before you get too far

TS: Anon! Happy Anniversary!

>It's Twilight Sparkle... the most dangerous pony in Equestria

>You wave halfheartedly

TS: I am glad I came today and found you! Now, I know the last time you agreed to help me study humans, it kind of ended with you in the hospital

A: Twilight... I told you fire burns humans. I told you ice can also kill us. Why did you send me into space?

TS: You didn't tell me how a human being reacts in a vacuum

A: Firstly, you didn't ask. Second, the same way all living, breathing things react while suffocating!

TS: But, you lasted much longer than I calculated before blacking out! Isn't that something special?

>You sigh heavily and rub your temples

A: So... Twily... what can I help you with?

TS: Oh, this is an easy one and very relative to the topic of today. I was wondering if you would share a few words about your anniversary?

A: You are not going to cut me open and count the rings after, will you?

TS: Anon, don't be so silly! I already took skin samples for carbon dating

>You grimace mostly because you can't remember this event

A: Well, if it's -that- easy, I will help you

>Twilight taps her hooves together with excitement before brandishing a quill and notepad

TS: OK, first and foremost, how many anniversaries have we celebrated?

>You can't think of an answer having stopped counting long ago

>Pinkie comes stumbling by with a blindfold on and a stick in her mouth

PP: We'f celebraided fwhor to dade!

>She walks off to beat a piñata to death

>Why do ponies even know what a piñata is?

>Maybe there's a whole Spanish side of Equestria you never visited

>No time to think about tacos though

TS: Alright, next question... based on thorough examinations and carbon dating, I come to the conclusion that you do not have a cutie mark despite being well over the usual age for developed colts. Is that common in humans?

A: Humans never get cutie marks. We don't really specialize in any singular thing

TS: Poor creatures, moving on! How many times a day do you fantasize about cupcakes?

>You actually don't do it often... better make up some number to appease the metrics

A: Approximately three times a day

TS: Good, good... once per meal on the average. I would have guessed as much! But, guessing is wrong and uneducated. We should always hypothesize. Moving on...

>You fidget a bit and pray another pony will pull you out of this unforgiving mare's clutches

TS: ... Well, how often?

A: I am sorry, how often what again?

TS: How often do you consider visiting me in my library?

A: Odd question... well, since you've tried to kill me. I would say... almost never

TS: Oh... one moment. Let me make a note that humans do not forgive easily

>You smile a bit

A: Also note that we do not forget for we are legion

>Twilight actually writes this down!

TS: There we are... Anonymous does not forgive, he does not forget. Anonymous is a legion. Is that all correct?

A: You bet your purple backside it is!

>Score one for meme distribution today

>You have a giggle unto yourself

TS: Well, thank you, Anon. I learned a lot today! I am going to get a cupcake now. Research is hungry business

>You run the minute she is not looking

>Fortune smiles upon you as you meet Applejack just outside the barn

AJ: Whoa there, pardner! The parties inside

A: I needed some air

>Applejack smiles at you

AJ: Plenty a' fresh air in Sweet Apple Acres an', a'course, that delicious smell of ripe apples. Yep, livin' here sure is peaceful

A: I don't know. Don't you ever get bored? Want to see a movie? Take a stroll down to the latest eatery?

>Applejack thinks for a moment

AJ: Hmm... nah! Ah got everythin' Ah could want right here! Well, almost everythin'

A: Oh? What's missing?

AJ: Somep0ny ta' share those cold, country nights with, if'n ya know what Ah'm sayin'?

A: You don't have to try to be so cute. You, of all ponies, should know I spend time with you because you already won me over

AJ: Well, shucks, maybe Ah just like hearin' ya admit it?

>You smirk and pet her mane and back

AJ: Ah've been thinkin' though...

A: Uh-oh...

AJ: Oh, hush, you! Ah've thought 'bout it for a while now... do ya' find me pretty? Like... like... attractive an' all?

A: This has been a long, strange trip. I've changed the meaning of a lot of words in the last few years. I'd have to call you, "gorgeous" these days. Even on Earth, I was a sucker for blondes anyways

>You see AJ blush slightly and remove her hat

AJ: So, ya' ain't really apposed ta' the idea of knockin' hooves with me?

A: I can't say I wouldn't like to. I've thought about taking our dates a little further. We've been kissing for ages now. It is kind of different without hands though

AJ: What makes hands so special?

A: Well, in humans, we can fool around pretty early without actually going overboard. hands are perfect for squeezing and pulling... yanking... touching... you get the idea? We don't have to just get straight to the rough play until we are really committed... or drunk

>Applejack ponders this for a while

AJ: Ah see yer point... gee, never thought of how forward us pony-folk are. Oh, speakin' of which, Ah wanted to give ya' this

>AJ takes out a finely tailored belt

>Its made of some dark leather material that feels slightly warm and has a gold plate on one side of it

A: It's beautiful. Thank you so much

AJ: Nothin' but the best! Ah had it engraved with our initials... a little something ta' think'a me by

>As if you didn't think about her sweet memory every moment you were apart

A: Do you... do you want to head back to the party?

AJ: Ah dunno... what if we don't?

A: I think Pinkie would miss us both

AJ: Or we might give'er a reason ta' throw another party?

>Applejack leans in close and rests her hoof on your chest

A: Pinkie... does like to throw parties...

AJ: An' she loves ta' see her friends smile...

>You and Applejack snap together

>Wrapping around each other, you kiss deeply

>You pull your faces apart long enough to stare hungrily into each other's eyes

AJ: Upstairs?

A: Upstairs

>You both slip away as the sun fades

>The music is blaring in the barn and you think you're safe enough to vacate

>Applejack loses her hat somewhere on the stairs

>A pile of clothes from you takes up most of the floor space

AJ: Ah just gotta warn ya', this bed's a tattle-tale

>You don't even understand what that means

>These pants are just trying to make you rip them off at this point

>Finally slipping into something much more naked, you lay on Applejack's bed

>It squeaks a bit as you rest your weight

>Oh, now you get it, hihihi... back to lusty thoughts

AJ: Ah never seen all'a ya' before, Anon. Ah got ta' say, mighty impressed

>You flex

A: Squats and oats, my dear

AJ: Now stop horsin' around an' rut me, stud

>God, does this girl know how to tell you like it is!

>You glide across the floor to your waiting mare

>You hold her tightly in your arms and feel her heart beat in time with your own

>She leaves little kisses across your neck and to your lips

A: Notre amour est un amour qui va percer les cieux!

>You grab her by her flank and kiss her passionately

>You break the kiss out of nothing less then the need for breath

AJ: Oh, sugarcube, speak fancy ta' me!

>You decide against revealing your full power and continue in English

>You work your mouth down her neck and to her belly, kissing everything in between

>Heading south, as wicked tongues are wont to do, you come across a pert breast

>You are both confused and exhilarated, so you quickly take her in your mouth

>You suckle like a foal and are rewarded with a symphony of grunts and moans

AJ: Ah~, Anon!

>You gnaw lightly at her teat

AJ: Don't leave marks where anyp0ny's gonna see

>You stop for just a moment to speak

A: Mmm, what if I want them to see?

>You cackle devilishly for a moment before something behind you catches your attention

>In all the excitement, you did not hear Rainbow Dash and Twilight come into the room

>The way they are staring makes you think that they saw a bit more as well

A: Nope, not a cancerous lump... everything checks out here!

>You nod and narrow your eyes professionally

>AJ looks up from her stupor with wide eyes

>She rolls to one side to cover up, you suppose?

AJ: Dash! Twi! What're ya'll doin' sneakin' around like that?

RD: I can't believe what I just saw!

TS: I can't believe Anon speaks multiple languages and I am just now learning this crucial information! Ugh, half of my data is useless now!

>Everyone looks at Twilight

>Seriously, what is wrong with this mare?

A: This is none of your business, Dash. You too, Twilight!

>Twilight is not listening while writing a note to someone

RD: You were just going to do -that- with her like it's no big deal? I had to work hard to get -that-!

A: You tried to rape me while drunk. You should feel honoured I didn't circumcise you on the spot!

>You bare you fangs like a dog to punctuate the point

RD: Look, you know what? Fine! I don't even care! You're not even worth the effort anyways! All I was doing was trying to find you so Pinkie could cut the cake. Jeez, you are so ungrateful!

>Oh, well, that was considerate

>You look to Applejack as she tries to hide her trickling shame

A: Um... so... cake?

AJ: Y-yeah, Ah'll be right down

>You pick the pieces of your clothing up and get dressed quickly while Twilight takes notes

>Never have you been so ultimately cock-blocked

>C'est la vie

>Making it back to the party, your pony friends and sworn pony enemies gather around to cut into the magnificent cake

PP: Anon! You made it!

>Pinkie giggles and holds her cake knife above the table

PP: Happy Falling-Out-of-the-Sky-and-Landing-On-Mayor-Mare-Day! Oh, boy, that's a mouthful!

>Oh, yeah, now you remember that day better

>She was fine after a short stay in the hospital

>You weren't even hanged like you were originally told would happen

>Pinkie pops a party-favor over the crowd

>The cake is cut and devoured

A: Ah... Pinkie. You make the best cakes

>You give Pinkie Pie a hug as the night winds down

>You exit the barn and look for Applejack

>You spy her sitting on the hill were you first really began getting to know each other

>It's a short trip to that magical spot

A: Applejack! How is everything?

AJ: Oh, hey! Sorry 'bout earlier

A: Hmm? What's to be sorry about?

AJ: Ah know Ah was comin' on strong there... Ah should'a been careful with everyp0ny around

>Applejack hangs her head a bit

>You pull her in to your chest

A: Oh, Applejack. It's takes two to get caught being fooly-cooly like that. Besides, I think you broke that last little bit of me that didn't just take your flank and make you mine

>You hear a small giggle from AJ

A: I think I did learn a very important lesson though

>You clear your throat for a moment and Applejack looks at you in awe

A: Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that Applejack makes the cutest sounds when you bite her nipples. Your only human resident, Anonymous

AJ: Oh, you varmint... Ah got half a mind to bite yours an' see how ya' react!

>AJ lightly pins you

A: What's the other half saying?

AJ: It says, "Ya shouldn't bite Anon... ya should bury him in yer flanks"

A: Well now, I can't lose!

>You both laugh and you hold each other warmly

 

>Not far from you two

>Be Fluttershy

F: No, he was doing what? Eep!

>You cover your mouth with your hooves as Rainbow Dash tells you the story

RD: Oh yesh... they were -all- over each other. That'sh the thanksh we get for being his friend!

>Rainbow Dash hiccups into her cup

F: Well, Anon is a good person. He deserves a good mare that he loves and who loves him back

RD: Shure, if you're -that- gullible. Don't you live with him now? You probably do all kindsh'a nice thingsh for 'im... hash he even sucked on you once? Shome "shtallion"

>You hold Rainbow Dash up

>You hate seeing her like this and just want her to get home safely

RD: We should... we should get Anon fer ush! Yeah! We should tie him up... and... and make him put hish -dick- in ush!

>You blush at Rainbow's vulgar language

RD: Come on, Fluttzer... Fluffer... you! We should get him tonight when he'sh shleepin'... just tie him to hish bed... and -fuck'em- like we don't even care!

F: Dashie, you should lay down. Come on, I'll take you home

RD: Shee? You're a good friend! If you had a hot, stallion cock, I'd let you put it in me 'cause that'sh the magic of... friendshi-... friendship!

>Rainbow can be so lewd

>Golly... it's just making your little marehood so twitchy

>You need to get her home before you start getting your own lewd ideas...

>... That is, if Anon's OK with it

RD: That'sh why we're best friendsh, Shutterfly. 'Cause... 'cause we care about everyp0ny. Anon can keep his lil' human prick... who needsh coltsh anyway! You know what? We should, we should!

F: We should do what, Dash?

RD: Fucking, Fluttershy!