Two Humans, One Pony III

>Day 1301 Composition and Rhetoric on Earth

>Be Applejack

 

        Yesterday was the most difficult day I had experienced in Anon's world thus far. Tabitha does not understand the nuance of personal space and has grown quite fond of feeding me. It is becoming a chore to battle her and I have to put my hoof down today or Tabitha's antics will persist. Anon has told me that she is out of town for the day, but it is a small break. Pinkie Pie was considerably better at following directions than this overzealous human.

        The time must have been high-noon as I glanced out the window and saw the radiant sun above. In the week I lived with Anon, I had not left his apartment and it was starting to drive me a little crazy. I was resolved to get out, at least for a short while, and feel the sunshine on my face again.

        "Anon, we need ta' talk" I said firmly.

        Anon looked up from his coffee, "Sure thing. What're we talking about?"

        "Ah jus' can't be cooped up here no longer. Ah need ta go out!"

        "SugarSmacks, I think we already had this talk and the answer was unclear" Anon sipped his drink with a loud slurp.

        "No, -you- listen, mister" I puffed out my chest, "It ain't like me ta' even sit in one place fer long. Now it's been a week with no runnin' 'er jumpin' 'er nothin'. Ah don't think Ah can take much more."

        Anon looked around for a moment before taking another swig from his cup. It was so quiet you could hear a mouse squeak. Finally, Anon stood to his feet and announced that he had an idea. I was not entirely sure what he was planning, but anything was better than this confinement.

        Anon looked across the table at me, "AJ... I think I may have found a place for you to go. However, you'll have to do exactly as I say to ensure that we're both safe."

        I did not care what he was planning or how we could pull this off. The thought of running through the grass again and muddying my hooves was overwhelming. Anon tossed a long raincoat to me and told me to cover up completely. I did not see rain in the sky, but perhaps he was onto something. With a few snags, what with it being a human coat, I was covered and ready.

        "I'll head out first. Don't follow unless I wave you in like this" Anon made a gesture with his hand.

        I nodded and we began what Anon liked to call, "Operation Horsing Around". Sometimes, I wondered what made Anon so silly between his serious moods. He walked from the doorway and peered around. He waved to me and I followed. Within a few short turns around the apartment, we were outside. I could instantly feel the heat of the day upon me and I took in a deep breath. The warm weather was delightful, save for the smell of the cars spitting foul smelling smoke around me. I wondered if Anon could smell it as well despite his height.

        "OK" Anon retrieved a key from his pocket, "This'll be your first car ride. Rules of the road are to buckle up, keep your head out of the window and don't change the stereo. Hate when people sit shotgun and change my stations."

        This is one of those times I don't understand what Anon is talking about. I just nod as he speaks and it seems to go by faster. A door of his car opened and I hopped into the cramped area. Anon ran around to the other side and sat in his designated seat. This invention was entirely for humans to ride in or so I had learned. Anon placed the key into the wheel and the sound of the motors turning filled my ears. Noisy, smelly and uncomfortable. If I didn't see thousands of them from the window, I would swear this was a terrible idea on paper.

        "So, Anon" I tried to break up his silence, "We're we goin'?"

        He looked over to me, "There's a park near hear. No one ever goes really. A lot of people left this neighborhood for greener pastures."

        I laughed, "Well a'course they would. If'n ya haven't noticed, there's nothing much 'round here 'cept for concrete and steel."

        Anon was pretty sharp, I would admit, but to think anyp0ny would want to live in this place instead of a green pasture was just plain ridiculous. I looked up through the window of the car as we drove and saw trees and buildings pass by. Anon looked more tense than usual and wore his anxiety on his face.

        "AppleJumps" Anon started, "We're almost there now. Maybe five more minutes."

        I smiled from under my cloak and started dreaming up running through the grass again. A memory of Sweet Apple Acres forced its way into my head as I laid on the seat daydreaming. It was a tender moment with Big Mac when we were just little foals. A loud noise broke up my dreaming and I could see Anon was visibly shaking from it.

        "Oh damn! It's the fuzz!" Anon's face contorted into a painful grimace, "Don't talk, just put on your 'cool face'."

        Anon came to an abrupt stop and I could feel his tension. The car turned off as Anon wiped sweat from his brow. We sat their for a moment until I saw another human walking up to Anon's window. He tapped the glass a few times and looked inside. Anon cranked the window downward as the other human began speaking.

        "License and registra..." the man suddenly stopped speaking.

        Anon's face was hilariously twisted and strained. He stared blankly at the human for what felt like an eternity.

        "Problem, officer?" Anon asked nervously.

        The man stared with narrowed eyes, "Get the fuck out of here."

        The car rumbled to life as Anon took off from the officer. He laughed as he recalled what just had happened. He had a way of making short stories interesting to listen to. The car rolled on for a few more minutes before I felt us come to another stop.

        "We made it" Anon smirked, "And no one went to jail. Success!"

        Anon turned off the car and unlocked my door. I casted off the raincoat before stepping down from my seat. The bright light stung my eyes after so long. When I adjusted, I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. Green grass for miles with a nice thicket of trees on the outer rim of the grounds. It's such a beautiful place that I almost felt like I was home for a moment. I looked to Anon who nodded in approval and I ran like a filly on a hot summer's morning. I could feel my muscles working again. I jumped through the flowers, taking in their scent and freshness as I passed. The grass was not quite short, but just long enough to roll around in. As I wound myself up into a frenzy, Anon sat on a little patch of shallow earth with his legs tucked beneath him.

        "Don't think Ah could interest ya in a little fun?" I called to him.

        He looked to me, "It's funny enough seeing you bounce around like a cat."

        I never know why Anon tries to lie to me. I'm Applejack for Pete's sake. I know a liar when I see one. He tries to bury his feelings from me, from everyp0ny really, I keep telling myself to let him come out before I step in. Despite how the day started though, this trip had made all the problems trivial. Anon didn't have to play, at least, not intentionally. I galloped around him for a moment as he watched me with wide eyes. A swift leap and I was pressed against his back. He fell forward a bit, but supported my weight pretty well.

        "Tell me, sugar-cube" I smiled widely, "Ya ever race before?"

        Anon fidgeted for a moment, "I can't say I have."

        "Why don't ya take yer coat off an' get those legs movin'?" I pressed on him with my hooves.

        Anon did not smile, "AJ, I don't feel like running."

        "Is it 'cause yer afraid ta' be beat by a girl?" I cocked an eyebrow.

        Anon smirked, "How could you beat me with negative four strength?"

        I didn't know what that meant, but I figured that Anon had taken the bait. I hopped off his back and trotted easily around him. I bucked my front hooves out and then my back.

        "Ah can't say Ah blame ya. What with only havin' two legs instead a four."

        Anon squinted, "Four legs good, two legs better."

        He stood to his full height and took off his coat neatly. Anon then removed his shoes and socks, revealing his funny human toes. I needed this more than I realized. I needed the challenge and it made me miss Rainbow Dash. She was always good for a race between napping. Anon trotted in place for a moment and stretched his arms. He crouched over and held his fingers outstretched in an odd position for running.

        "How's about we go to the edge by the trees and back to my coat? You want to count us down?" Anon looked over.

        "Ya' know it, pardner!" I beamed, "3... 2... 1!"

        I sprang from my haunches as hard as I could. I looked straight at where I wanted to be and just pushed on with everything I had. By luck, a miracle, or maybe something other, Anon was no more than a foot away from me. I stared for just a moment and watched him move with his sickening grace that no other human could imitate. I was not ready to turn in my saddle just yet as I kicked my back hooves hard from the soft ground. I could feel sweat starting to coat my face and sides and reveled in the sensation. The goal post was in reach and I was ahead by a neck.

        "Who's a silly... pony... who is? You is" Anon sang between short breaths.

        I gasped a bit, "What in... tarnation?"

        Anon huffed out a laugh as his legs moved him in time with me. He was a blur of black and green that almost looked like rushing water. I snorted and galloped hard towards the finish line, or coat as it were. Anon leaned into his run with all his might. I could hear his hard footfalls stamping the dry earth as hard as my hooves. The coat came into view as Anon began to fall behind me.

        "Shazbot!" Anon yelled as he lost ground.

        I crossed by his coat and came around on the tips of my hooves. A little cheer and a lot of praise was exchanged before I sat on the cool grass.

        "Wooh, doggie! Ah haven't... haven't raced that hard in'a while" I took a hard gulp of air.

        Anon fell back beside me with his entire body sprawled on the grass, "I never... raced... like that... ever."

        We laid there for a little while longer while we recovered. It was probably my best day in Anon's world since I had been here. I rubbed my back into the grass to soften it and laid still for a moment. Anon crawled to his hands and knees and looked over me.

        "I didn't know... ponies could sweat" Anon chuckled.

        "Ah didn't know humans could run" I gasped a reply.

        Anon collapsed beside me, "We... we really shouldn't. What's it... feel like? Pony sweat?"

        I looked up quizzically, "Ah... Ah don't know... never really touched it."

        I felt Anon's finger quickly run down my face. He examined my sweat with two fingers, rolling it and pulling it apart. Unpleasant for all it's worth, but this was Anon, he did this kind of thing more often than not.

        Anon sniffed his hand, "Smells like... apples."

        "Ah've been told that a few times" I laughed a bit.

        My mane was a mess and my tail had come undone. Anon must have been extremely hot under his suit and mask, but he never dared to remove either.

        "Anon" I started softly, "Thank ya kindly fer this. It means a lot ta' me."

        Anon sat up close to me, "Don't mention it. Friendship and whatever."

        "Ah wanna thank ya fer everythin' ya done fer me" I smirked.

        Anon turned in place with a coy grin, "Is this the part where we kiss and confess our love for each other. I'll let you know that I'm not a cheap date."

        How does he always come up with crazy scenarios? I shook my head and looked to him. Even with his mask on, I know the real Anonymous underneath. He's kind and considerate, though he'd never show you without some pressure. I always believed he would say silly or crass things just to see how anyp0ny would react.

        "Ain't a kiss, sugar-cube" I smiled, "Besides, Ah won that race. You should be givin' me a gift if'n ya' even..."

        Without noticing, Anon had poised himself above me and his mask was bunched up to his nose. I couldn't react if I wanted to as his mouth met with my own and our lips locked. The taste of his mouth was like a hoof full of snow. He probed his icy tongue into me and my own breath chilled. I returned the favor and wrapped my hooves under him arms. At that very moment, I was a young filly again under my favorite apple tree with the stallion of my dreams. We must have been locked like that for a solid minute until I eventually had to breathe. Our lips parted with a popping sound and I looked at Anon with lidded eyes.

        "Sugar-cube, ya know this is gonna lead to trouble down the road" I tried not to smile too widely.

        Anon replaced his mask, "Did I ever tell you that apples are my favorite fruit?"

        I looked at him sharply for just a moment and then we both burst into laughter. In all our horsing-around, neither one of us took notice to the lurking person nearby.

 

 

AJ: An' Ah swear that's the whole truth. Nothin's goin' 'on' between us

>You finish telling your side of the story to Tabitha

>She looks at you with shock

T: Oh my god... you and him, and him and you... oh god. Anon, how could you take advantage of your friend?

A: Her tongue is like three times bigger than mine! If anything, I was raped

>Anon crossed his arms defiantly

AJ: Ah swear, it was unintentional an'... an'... it jus' sort'a happened?

A: My part was intentional

>You and Tabitha shoot Anon an ice cold stare

AJ: Like Ah was sayin', there's no need ta' get yer braids in'a twist. We're both grown 'ere

>He puts his hands up and scoots away slowly

AJ: It's not like we were gonna get 'involved'

A: Maybe this hurts your perception of Tree-Kicker as a cute, little woodland creature?

>He smiled a bit more cruelly than usually

T: But, she's a pony! You kissed, you two... you exchanged saliva!

A: Editor's Note: She tastes JUST like apples

T: Eww, Anon! Why do you always end up getting weird with everything

>Anon seems content in making Tabitha cringe

>You just don't understand Anon sometimes

>And sometimes

>That's just the magic of friendship