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Purple and Proud II

By: Eppy on Jan 6th, 2013 | syntax: None | size: 9.26 KB | hits: 256 | expires: Never

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>Day Paheal the Magic on Earth
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>It has been four human days now that you have been on Earth
>This world is a strange and often dangerous place
>The sun and moon cycles on their own over the course of a 24 hour period and the stars do not need to be calibrated or aligned by anyp0ny
>Motorized vehicles are terrifying to be inside, loud to be near, and cause a 65% increase in Anon's profanity usage
>You have found the internet to be just as confusing and dangerous, albeit, in a different manner
>It has become apparent that you are a mythological creature in Anon's world, much as he was in your own
>A distinct difference is that you are also a cartoon
>The internet, as you have noticed, has a list of rules for dealing with all manner of topics
>Rules 1 and 2 are [redacted]
>Rules down the line become more concerning
>For the sake of knowledge, you had gone against Anon's word and pursued rule 34
>Big mistake
>You hear the sound of a door opening
A: Twily! I'm home!
>You hop to your hooves and greet him at the door
TS: Excellent! Did you find any dried antirrhinum?
A: The people in "Magic & Home Decor" were fresh out
>Anon shrugs
>You sigh a bit
>You will have to locate more ingredients to prepare a new portal
>If only Pinkie were here now
>Pinkie Pie was always excellent with portal conjuring
A: I did, however, find this at Walmart
>Anon holds up a large, white container
A: It's a type of conditioner just for long hair. I... I just felt like buying it, really
>The bottle is labeled as "Mane 'n Tail" and has a silhouette of two human-raised horses galloping
TS: That's... nice. Thank you, Anon
>Anon reaches into another bag
A: And I found some apples on sale! You asked for them, right?
>You nod with a smile
>You deemed it reasonable to practice magic even though you are studying Anon as well
>Anon hauls away the bags of groceries to his cramped refrigerator
A: So, what were you thinking about for dinner?
TS: Oh, anything you'd like
>Anon has become a fairly useful assistant
A: Eh, I'll come up with something
>You retrieve your notepad
TS: 10:23 AM; Anon returns from shopping in 28 minutes
A: What's that now?
TS: A log
A: For...?
TS: Oh, I have been keeping your time for leaving and returning. This will be the 11th time you have left to the store and you have become incredibly efficient at doing so
>Anon chuckles nervously
A: What else are you clocking me on?
TS: A few things
>You flip through your notepad
TS: 7:21 PM; Anon makes bowl of cereal. 7:23 PM; Anon finishes bowl of cereal. 7:27 PM; Anon makes another bowl of cereal
>Anon stares at you for a moment
TS: 7:45 PM; Anon enters the bathroom. 8:10 PM; Anon returns from the bathroom. Note: Anon showered w/o shampoo
A: That's increasingly disturbing... What did I do at 9:00?
>You flip through a page
TS; Let's see... Ah, here it is! 9:03 PM; Anon sits at computer desk with left hand on face. 9:09 PM; Anon announces, "It's happening", before continuing to read on the computer
A: Hah, that was a good thread
>You have no idea what Anon is talking about
A: Are these notes part of your "Human studies"?
TS: Some of them. Others are seeing a relative trend in your ability to learn
>Anon places his hands on his chin
A: How can you figure out if I am learning if I don't know what I am learning about?
TS: Oh, very simple. Fluttershy taught me an invaluable technique for training animals
A: I like being dissected, do continue
>Anon stands firmly with his hands at his waist
TS: Oh, Anon, I wouldn't resort to dissection unless you were deceased
>Anon says the silliest things sometimes
TS: The "learning" I am talking about is how you have been learning what to bring me without me needing to give you a list. You have unconsciously been growing accustomed to me being here and in that, you have been adding my routine to your own
A: PurpleSmart, you sure are clever.
>You scrunch your face at that last comment
TS: Well, there is something I have not figured out just yet
A: What's that?
TS: Why do you always come up with odd names when referring to me?
A: I have no idea what you're talking about, MagicHorn
TS: There! you just did it. You called me, "Magic Horn"
A: Pfft, well of course your horn is magic, TwiBright
>You grow frustrated
TS: Why don't you call me by my name?
A: I am pretty sure I did
TS: You made something up on the spot!
A: Believe you me, Twily, if I were making up names on the spot, they'd be awesome
>You write on your notepad again
TS: 10: 56 AM; Anon attempts to confuse me with circular reasoning
>Anon smiles and finishes packing the groceries
>You take an apple from the bowl Anon has left out for you
>You place the apple neatly on the floor and ready your notepad
A: Ohhh, what'cha doing?
TS: I'm going to turn this apple into an orange
>You puff up your chest and proudly lift your head
TS: It's not as easy as it sounds
>Anon stares blankly
>You deflate a bit
A: Well, you know, I could have bought you oranges?
TS: No, no, the apple is perfect
A: Then why do you want it to be an orange?
TS: I am practicing transmogrification spells that Princess Celestia has assigned me
A: So... like... can you change anything? Or is this only for making oranges?
>You stop and think for a moment
TS: I suppose, in theory. I mean, that is what this set of skills is suppose to be teaching me
>Anon ponders something
>You focus again on your spell
>Your horn begins to glow as you envision the outcome in your head
>Apple, smooth, shiny, red... Orange, bumpy, dull, and... orange
>You aim at the apple on the floor
>A small flash projects from your horn and hits the apple
>Bull's eye!
TS: It looks perfect! The shape, texture, color...
>You sniff the now-orange
TS: Even the smell is right
A: Want me to cut it open to see what's inside?
TS: Oh, yes, that would be excellent
>Anon brandishes a small knife and slices the orange
A: Wow, nice job. Smells and looks like an orange
>Anon brings a slice up to his nose
>He licks another end
A: Tastes like an orange... yep, that's some good magic-orange right there
>You throw your hooves into the air
>You raised them with complete abandon
TS: Oh, goodie! Wait until the Princess hears...
>Realization sets in
>You lose your enthusiastic demeanor
A: Oh, ah, right... well, there's no reason to be upset. You still got the notepad. You can still write that letter!
>Anon seems much more cheerful than he should be
>You do not reach for the pad or pen
A: Come on now, Twily. You did great. Here, let me start this thing for you
>Anon snatches your notepad from the floor
A: Dear... Princess... Celestia. Today, I... Twi... Light... Sparkle... turned... an... orange... into... a... apple
>You mutter quickly
TS: "An" apple
A: Ctrl + Z
>Anon stares at the pen for a moment
A: No, wait... damn
>Your frown breaks into a small smile as Anon fumbles with the pen
A: An... apple. There we go! This looks like a winner to me. Want me to sign you off?
>You grip the notepad lightly with your magic and Anon hands you the pen
TS: Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
>You smile
>It feels good to write a letter, even if you can't send it now
TS: Thank you, Anon. That... that really helped
A: It was nothing. Orange bite?
TS: Yes, that would be great
>Anon brings the slice close to your lips with alarming speed
>You open your muzzle a bit and bite off a piece
>The juice runs down your face and to your chin
>You see juice glistening on Anon's fingers
>Another bite
>The orange is really delicious and you must be hungrier than you realized
>You grab the last piece with your tongue
>You taste the orange juice that has soaked onto Anon's hand
>Without thinking, you clean two of his fingers with your broad tongue
TS: Mmm, this orange is delicious
A: I know. Makes me wish I had bought some oranges
>You run your tongue over your lips
TS: I will add them to the list for next time
>Your stomach growls
TS: Hehe... I think I've decided on something to eat
>Anon prepares a bowl of sliced apples, oranges and grapes
A: I envy your ability to survive on this
TS: This would be a very expensive meal in Ponyville
A: Eh, don't remind me. I ate so much cake that my hair turned into frosting
>You look up at Anon's head
TS: I-is it... still like that?
A: Did you never have lessons on hyperbole and sarcasm?
TS: I know the words and the meaning of each... so, that would mean... you're being sarcastic!
>Anon messes up your mane with an awkward pat
A: Congratulation, you passed
TS: Oh, so it was a test?
>You smile widely at Anon
A: Eat your fruit bowl...
>You see why he enjoys this "trolling"
TS: Anonymous
A: Yeah?
TS: How does this "Mane n' Tail" stuff work?
>He thinks for a moment
A: It's conditioner. So you wash yourself, then you wash just your mane and tail with it. Then I suppose wash and rinse again
>You bounce your head in approval
>Seems legit
TS: I appreciate the thought, but there is a slight problem
A: Let me guess. You can't really wash yourself thoroughly and are going to ask me for help, which will probably turn into breaking boundaries and things getting deeply personal?
>You hesitate your answer, how does Anon do that?
A: No, I am just kidding. Do go on
TS: Actually, yes. I do need some help washing my mane and tail
>Anon hangs his head to one side
A: Anon, you're such a loud-mouth

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>Day Paheal the Magic on Earth
>Be Twilight Sparkle
>It has been four human days now that you have been on Earth
>This world is a strange and often dangerous place
>The sun and moon cycles on their own over the course of a 24 hour period and the stars do not need to be calibrated or aligned by anyp0ny
>Motorized vehicles are terrifying to be inside, loud to be near, and cause a 65% increase in Anon's profanity usage
>You have found the internet to be just as confusing and dangerous, albeit, in a different manner
>It has become apparent that you are a mythological creature in Anon's world, much as he was in your own
>A distinct difference is that you are also a cartoon
>The internet, as you have noticed, has a list of rules for dealing with all manner of topics
>Rules 1 and 2 are [redacted]
>Rules down the line become more concerning
>For the sake of knowledge, you had gone against Anon's word and pursued rule 34
>Big mistake
>You hear the sound of a door opening 
A: Twily! I'm home!
>You hop to your hooves and greet him at the door
TS: Excellent! Did you find any dried antirrhinum?
A: The people in "Magic & Home Decor" were fresh out
>Anon shrugs
>You sigh a bit
>You will have to locate more ingredients to prepare a new portal
>If only Pinkie were here now
>Pinkie Pie was always excellent with portal conjuring
A: I did, however, find this at Walmart
>Anon holds up a large, white container
A: It's a type of conditioner just for long hair. I... I just felt like buying it, really
>The bottle is labeled as "Mane 'n Tail" and has a silhouette of two human-raised horses galloping
TS: That's... nice. Thank you, Anon
>Anon reaches into another bag
A: And I found some apples on sale! You asked for them, right?
>You nod with a smile
>You deemed it reasonable to practice magic even though you are studying Anon as well
>Anon hauls away the bags of groceries to his cramped refrigerator
A: So, what were you thinking about for dinner?
TS: Oh, anything you'd like
>Anon has become a fairly useful assistant
A: Eh, I'll come up with something
>You retrieve your notepad
TS: 10:23 AM; Anon returns from shopping in 28 minutes
A: What's that now?
TS: A log
A: For...?
TS: Oh, I have been keeping your time for leaving and returning. This will be the 11th time you have left to the store and you have become incredibly efficient at doing so
>Anon chuckles nervously
A: What else are you clocking me on?
TS: A few things
>You flip through your notepad
TS: 7:21 PM; Anon makes bowl of cereal. 7:23 PM; Anon finishes bowl of cereal. 7:27 PM; Anon makes another bowl of cereal
>Anon stares at you for a moment
TS: 7:45 PM; Anon enters the bathroom. 8:10 PM; Anon returns from the bathroom. Note: Anon showered w/o shampoo
A: That's increasingly disturbing... What did I do at 9:00?
>You flip through a page
TS; Let's see... Ah, here it is! 9:03 PM; Anon sits at computer desk with left hand on face. 9:09 PM; Anon announces, "It's happening", before continuing to read on the computer
A: Hah, that was a good thread
>You have no idea what Anon is talking about
A: Are these notes part of your "Human studies"?
TS: Some of them. Others are seeing a relative trend in your ability to learn
>Anon places his hands on his chin
A: How can you figure out if I am learning if I don't know what I am learning about?
TS: Oh, very simple. Fluttershy taught me an invaluable technique for training animals
A: I like being dissected, do continue
>Anon stands firmly with his hands at his waist
TS: Oh, Anon, I wouldn't resort to dissection unless you were deceased
>Anon says the silliest things sometimes
TS: The "learning" I am talking about is how you have been learning what to bring me without me needing to give you a list. You have unconsciously been growing accustomed to me being here and in that, you have been adding my routine to your own
A: PurpleSmart, you sure are clever. 
>You scrunch your face at that last comment
TS: Well, there is something I have not figured out just yet
A: What's that?
TS: Why do you always come up with odd names when referring to me?
A: I have no idea what you're talking about, MagicHorn
TS: There! you just did it. You called me, "Magic Horn"
A: Pfft, well of course your horn is magic, TwiBright
>You grow frustrated
TS: Why don't you call me by my name? 
A: I am pretty sure I did
TS: You made something up on the spot!
A: Believe you me, Twily, if I were making up names on the spot, they'd be awesome
>You write on your notepad again
TS: 10: 56 AM; Anon attempts to confuse me with circular reasoning
>Anon smiles and finishes packing the groceries
>You take an apple from the bowl Anon has left out for you
>You place the apple neatly on the floor and ready your notepad
A: Ohhh, what'cha doing?
TS: I'm going to turn this apple into an orange
>You puff up your chest and proudly lift your head
TS: It's not as easy as it sounds
>Anon stares blankly
>You deflate a bit
A: Well, you know, I could have bought you oranges?
TS: No, no, the apple is perfect
A: Then why do you want it to be an orange?
TS: I am practicing transmogrification spells that Princess Celestia has assigned me
A: So... like... can you change anything? Or is this only for making oranges?
>You stop and think for a moment 
TS: I suppose, in theory. I mean, that is what this set of skills is suppose to be teaching me
>Anon ponders something
>You focus again on your spell
>Your horn begins to glow as you envision the outcome in your head
>Apple, smooth, shiny, red... Orange, bumpy, dull, and... orange
>You aim at the apple on the floor
>A small flash projects from your horn and hits the apple
>Bull's eye!
TS: It looks perfect! The shape, texture, color...
>You sniff the now-orange
TS: Even the smell is right
A: Want me to cut it open to see what's inside?
TS: Oh, yes, that would be excellent
>Anon brandishes a small knife and slices the orange
A: Wow, nice job. Smells and looks like an orange
>Anon brings a slice up to his nose
>He licks another end
A: Tastes like an orange... yep, that's some good magic-orange right there
>You throw your hooves into the air
>You raised them with complete abandon 
TS: Oh, goodie! Wait until the Princess hears...
>Realization sets in
>You lose your enthusiastic demeanor
A: Oh, ah, right... well, there's no reason to be upset. You still got the notepad. You can still write that letter!
>Anon seems much more cheerful than he should be
>You do not reach for the pad or pen
A: Come on now, Twily. You did great. Here, let me start this thing for you
>Anon snatches your notepad from the floor
A: Dear... Princess... Celestia. Today, I... Twi... Light... Sparkle... turned... an... orange... into... a... apple
>You mutter quickly
TS: "An" apple
A: Ctrl + Z
>Anon stares at the pen for a moment
A: No, wait... damn
>Your frown breaks into a small smile as Anon fumbles with the pen
A: An... apple. There we go! This looks like a winner to me. Want me to sign you off?
>You grip the notepad lightly with your magic and Anon hands you the pen
TS: Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle
>You smile
>It feels good to write a letter, even if you can't send it now
TS: Thank you, Anon. That... that really helped
A: It was nothing. Orange bite?
TS: Yes, that would be great
>Anon brings the slice close to your lips with alarming speed
>You open your muzzle a bit and bite off a piece
>The juice runs down your face and to your chin
>You see juice glistening on Anon's fingers
>Another bite
>The orange is really delicious and you must be hungrier than you realized
>You grab the last piece with your tongue
>You taste the orange juice that has soaked onto Anon's hand
>Without thinking, you clean two of his fingers with your broad tongue
TS: Mmm, this orange is delicious
A: I know. Makes me wish I had bought some oranges
>You run your tongue over your lips
TS: I will add them to the list for next time
>Your stomach growls
TS: Hehe... I think I've decided on something to eat
>Anon prepares a bowl of sliced apples, oranges and grapes
A: I envy your ability to survive on this
TS: This would be a very expensive meal in Ponyville
A: Eh, don't remind me. I ate so much cake that my hair turned into frosting
>You look up at Anon's head
TS: I-is it... still like that?
A: Did you never have lessons on hyperbole and sarcasm?
TS: I know the words and the meaning of each... so, that would mean... you're being sarcastic!
>Anon messes up your mane with an awkward pat
A: Congratulation, you passed
TS: Oh, so it was a test? 
>You smile widely at Anon
A: Eat your fruit bowl...
>You see why he enjoys this "trolling"
TS: Anonymous
A: Yeah?
TS: How does this "Mane n' Tail" stuff work?
>He thinks for a moment
A: It's conditioner. So you wash yourself, then you wash just your mane and tail with it. Then I suppose wash and rinse again
>You bounce your head in approval
>Seems legit
TS: I appreciate the thought, but there is a slight problem
A: Let me guess. You can't really wash yourself thoroughly and are going to ask me for help, which will probably turn into breaking boundaries and things getting deeply personal?
>You hesitate your answer, how does Anon do that?
A: No, I am just kidding. Do go on
TS: Actually, yes. I do need some help washing my mane and tail
>Anon hangs his head to one side
A: Anon, you're such a loud-mouth

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