Of Marshmallows and Men IV

>Day Diamond Encrusted Brooch on Earth

>Be Rarity

>The night has found you two new human friends to add to your ever growing repertoire of associates

>The girls, Janet and Shirley, are both entertaining and seem to have high energy for what they love

>It is the surest sign of talent you have ever seen and, had you not known better, you would swear their cutie mark would be in theater

>You find yourself in Janet's apartment this morning with Anonymous cooking as he so often does for you

>Shirley sits lazily at a small table set for four and grumbles about the wait

>Anon whistles a little tune before speaking to the pan in front of him

>"How do you like your eggs, Rarara?"

"I wish you wouldn't pronounce my name like that, Anon..."

>"So, over-easy?"

>You snort quickly before taking a seat and folding your napkin in your lap

"...Two pieces of wheat toast as well and a glass of orange juice, no pulp."

>Shirley watches you with a curiosity you have not seen since Anonymous

>"So, what's magic like?"

>You shrug lightly and flip your mane to one side

"Whatever do you mean, darling?"

>"Well, it's like... comin' outta your head and all. Does it hurt?"

"Not at all! Although it does get tiring if used excessively."

>A small voice perks up as Janet brings Anon a stack of plates

>"A unicorn, that's so fascinatin'. How did ya' meet this guy?"

"Anonymous? Oh, well, he sort of found us, actually. He fell out of the sky one day and landed right in Ponyville."

>Anonymous smiles and flips his spatula off the side of the stove before scooping some eggs onto a clean, blue plate

>"It's all true! Then I went on some hilarious adventure with a bunch of ponies who almost killed me on multiple occasions. Princess Celestia was most notably the craziest. She made me spend time with Twilight."

>You snicker a bit and remember when you discovered Anon's misfortune

"Twilight -is- a good friend, she just gets carried away when it comes to cataloging."

>"I liked Pinkie, at the very least. She only tried to force feed me cupcakes."

>You ruffle up your tail a bit as a hint of jealousy passes by you

>"Whoa, Princess? What's that about?"

>Shirley looks at you with raised eyebrows

"Oh, yes, we have two princesses who rule over the nation. Princess Celestia, who raises the sun each morning, and Princess Luna, who raises the moon each night. Do you have a princess here as well?"

>Janet looks to Shirley and shrugs

>"Nah, that junk's for the peep's in Britain. We got a president."

"What is a president?"

>"A blowhard that talks a lot of stuff and gets mixed results."

>You don't feel that answered your question, but you also can't be certain anything else Shirley says is going to make sense

>A polite nod is all you need to end this confusing conversation

>Janet carries three plates to the table with expert balancing skills

>She quickly lays them out on the table before sitting across from Shirley

>You look at the divine breakfast in front of you and smile

>Anonymous is so good with the little details that truly make a meal

"Are you going back to the stage tonight?"

>Janet smiles easily at you

>"Oh, yes, we still have a lot of rehearsing to do."

>Shirley speaks through a bite of her egg sandwich

>"Yeah, lots to do... haven't even finished... the costumes."

>She gulps loudly as she swallows and takes a drink of water quickly

>A bit uncouth, you think, but it seems vaguely comfortable to have a fast talking, fast acting friend around

>She could be Rainbow Dash... if Rainbow Dash was a human

>Anon finally takes a seat across from you and sets a very modest breakfast before himself

>You look to your own with a bit of doubt

"Anon, darling, would you like a piece of toast?"

>"No, thank you. Feel like egg whites this morning. Got to stay healthy, right?"

>Janet giggles a little to you and looks to Anon

>"So, Anonymous, how long were ya' in Equestria?"

>"Oh, uh, not sure. Probably a few years, although time seemed to work differently there. It moves faster than here, if I was able to properly deduce the calendar."

>You look at Anonymous with a bit of curiosity all your own

>Shirley snorts quickly through her water before sobering up

>"Man, that must'a been hard, right? Nothin' but ponies around ya'?"

>Janet is the first to catch on to what Shirley is implying

>"Now, Shirley, don't start that! I'm sure he..."

>"Are you implying I had sex with a pony?"

>Shirley spits a mouthful of water, followed by riotous laughter and Janet's face flushes white as her eyes sink into her head

>You are slightly surprised at the way Anon phrased himself, but only slightly

"Darling, this isn't proper breakfast talk..."

>Your tail seems to wrap itself a little tighter around your bottom as you think about your first few days on Earth with Anonymous

>Anon grins widely at the two girls on either side of him and poses to show off his muscle

>"Not to toot my own horn, but I had the undivided attention of quite a few ladies in Equestria."

"Anon..."

>"Like that minty green unicorn, what's her name again? Lyra, I think. Don't forget Berry! Could that one ever drink! Fluttershy probably gave me the most trouble though."

>He continues to flex and pose as he names off different mares and you are sure most of this is nothing short of male exaggeration

>By the time he finishes, Janet is hiding her red face beneath the tablecloth and Shirley is laying on the floor, gasping for breath

"I cannot take you anywhere, Anonymous! Honestly, must you be so... so... -you-?"

>Shirley springs up suddenly from the floor and slides back into her seat

>"Oh my gosh, you two are totally datin'!"

"What? No! Anonymous is just a friend!"

>"Yeah, ya' boyfriend!"

>Shirley mocks you lightly with her teeth held between her teeth

>"Rarity and I? I don't know, she has seen me naked before..."

>A fearful squeal rings from Janet as she looks you over

"I have not!"

>"Oh? Remember when you fixed my face?"

>You think back to that day and how hopeless you were

>His eyes were the most beautiful you had even seen and you shamefully let him rub your horn out like some lowly animal in heat

>Celestia knows what terrible perversions ran through your infatuated head that night

"Seeing your face is -not- seeing you naked! Besides, clothing isn't the norm in Ponyville!"

>You bang a hoof on the wooden table to the astonished silence of the three humans

>A feeling of unease over takes you as you feel a little more than outnumbered

>"Sorry, Rare-bear, I didn't mean to upset you like that..."

>The apology drifts around you for the moment and you look to Anon with optimistic eyes

>"I-it's not really somethin' we have to discuss."

>Janet gets up quickly and begins to gather the dirty dishes

>What an awkward morning this was turning out to be!

>You find your center and breathe easily as you return to your ladylike state

>The rest of the morning goes over well as the four of your get better acquainted and learn a bit more about each other

>Anonymous seems to be particularly silly in the presence of others and you wonder if this is normal for him

>He acted more mature around your pony friends, you think, but cannot say for certain

>The topic of the play comes up again and you add your thoughts into this

>"I am an accomplished seamstress in Ponyville and have thousands of designs under my hoof. It would be an honour to help you two create fabulous costumes for your show."

>Shirley rubs her chin in deep though before looking to Janet

>Janet is the first to answer you

>"If you can sew, well, that'd be fine by me. I mean, if it ain't too much trouble for ya', that is?"

"Of course not, darling! I -live- to create!"

>"Well, we got a lotta good stuff to work with already. Lets go by the theater and see what you can do."

>"In the daylight!? What if someone see's us?"

>Anon looks to you, but all you do is shrug

"Darling, other humans have taken to moi without effort."

>You bounce your mane in one hoof and twirl once for effect before looking up at him

>"You know... I think you have let your current fame get to your head. Not everyone is so nice."

>Shirley tuts her teeth as she slips a shoe over her foot

>"'Ey, love birds, lets get on track here!"

>You turn your nose up at the comment

>Sure, Anonymous is a nice guy and maybe he's a fairly decent dresser and perhaps he has always been rather nice to you

>These signs do not, however, point to Anon being your special somep0ny!

>Pushing aside these silly thoughts, you make your way out into the hall

>Janet and Shirley are the first to meet you with Anon taking up the rear

>You move casually through the empty building and wonder if other humans live behind each numbered door

"Are there a lot of people in this building? The building where Anonymous lives is nearly empty."

>"Nah, most people moved already. This place gets emptier everyday."

>Janet frowns a bit as she speaks before Anon chimes in

>"I don't know about you, but I am enjoying the plummeting price on rent."

>Shirley laughs quickly as she descends the staircase

>"Right up until these places get shut down and we're livin' on the streets."

>This ghastly talk of losing their homes does not seem to effect either of the three humans

>You could not imagine how awful it would be to lose your boutique and you certainly wouldn't speak so lightly of it

"What would you do if you have to leave your home?"

>Anonymous shrugs as he reaches for the door leading outside

>"Find a new apartment, I suppose? Maybe I would finally move to the city."

>Janet replies in kind and Shirley nods

>"It would be the best we got... but, we ain't got to worry about that tonight! After tonight, we'll be famous enough to buy our own place in the Hills. Won't we, Jan?"

>"Oh, yeah, that little cottage. Ya' think we'd finally be able to afford it?"

>Shirley holds Janet's hand with all the elegance you've come to expect from her and smiles widely

>"Bet my ass, we will!"

>You smirk at the strange expression and stare at the thin human's body

>Their hope and determination makes you feel like their struggle as you too have always longed for stardom under the bright lights of your own home

>You say to yourself that you will create the most exquisite costumes Earth, or Equestria for that matter, had ever beheld

>If anyone deserved a chance to be happy, it was these two good friends

>The trip to the theater is quick from this building and, in the daylight, you can see the world around you for the first time

>Metal contraptions line themselves along the sidewalk in different colours and you marvel at the shining reflections some give off

>Street lamps of various sizes and designs dot the sidewalks and even some buildings

>You walk with your head tilted back as to view the skyline until you feel something hard halt you

"Anonymous! What are you trying..."

>"It's bad enough you look like a pony. Must you look like a pony-tourist as well?"

"Well, I never!"

>Janet leans down a bit and speaks softly in your ear

>"I think he wanted to stop ya' from steppin' in that gum."

>You suddenly look down and panic around the sticky blob on the floor

>Celestia knows how hard gum is to get out of a gorgeous coat such as your own

>You look up to Anon, but he quickly walks on

>A smile parts your face as you think Anonymous is looking out for you, if not being a bit coy today

>He reaches for another door and opens it wide as the two girls and yourself step in

>The cackle of energy surges through the room as Anonymous flips the light switch and you quickly begin to take inventory

>You spy two human shaped mannequins and beam at the industrial sewing machine table

"Alright, girls, I hope you're ready for a lesson in fabulosity!"

>Janet giggles and Shirley shrugs

>"Just make sure we look cool."

"I can do better than that! But, first, if you wouldn't mind helping me with the smallest of favours..."

>Every person in the room helps you tidy up over the next half hour or so

>No way you could concentrate with dust getting in the way of your artistic vision

>Anonymous pats his hands out on his pants before nodding to you

>"How do I get myself into these things?"

"Because, darling, you are a true gentlecolt."

>Shirley takes a moment and grades your remark before snickering

>"Never heard that one before."

"Oh, my apologies, a gentle -man-?"

>"Implying I care if you use ponyisms on me."

>Your boisterous human friend laughs to herself

>"This guy's a riot! Who even talks like that?"

>No distraction, you think, there is much work to be done!

"Ladies, if I may. I need to take your measurements. Anonymous, please step outside."

>Anon grumbles to himself as he stomps from the room

>You smirk as you lift a tape measure into the end and feel it flex in your magic

"Now you shall witness the art of the dress!"

>The human girls look at you and then to each other with a hint of worry on their faces

>"I-is this gonna hurt?"

"Only if you don't cooperate, darling!"

 

>On a stoop outside of the theater

>Be Anonymous

>You hum a tune to yourself as you await the word to enter

>It seems weird to think you have to be outside while Rarity fits someone

>Ponies were usually not dressed in your presence to begin with!

>You contemplate taking a peak through the window to see if human flesh was as interesting if you remember

>No, you are a gentleman and a scholar

>Also, Rarity would absolutely murder you if you were caught

>A few people are finally roaming the street and you watch them as you so often do

>Look at them, just mindlessly wondering around like zombies

>Their slacked jawed stare in the outer abyss coupled with their staggering gait is just so very...

>Wait, that is just like a zombie!

>You stare at a few as they roam pass you and notice their eyes have an eerie greenish hue to them

"Excuse me, sir! A moment of your time."

>You stand to your feet as the shuffling man turns slowly in your direction

>He opens his mouth once with a gargling noise before he begins to hobble toward you

>"Lo~ve..."

>Well, if that didn't make your skin crawl, nothing would!

>It does not take long for your legs to get you back into the fitting room

>A marshmallow hoof presses up against your leg as you slam the door

>"Anon! Ladies are changing in here!"

"People are changing outside too!"

>"What?"

>A bang on the door startles you and you back up a bit

>The door opens outward, so no amount of pushing would be able to open it

>Another bang causes Janet to look up from under a frilly gown

>"Who's knocking?"

"The question is what is knocking... I think we have zombies, my friends."

>Shirley looks at you with a cocked brow

>"Zombies? Yeah, sure."

"I call it like I see it. We should wrap this up and consider escaping... now."

>Rarity looks you over before her face takes on serious appearance

>"Anon is telling the truth..."

>The girls look over to you quickly before Janet speaks with a wavering voice

>"W-what do ya' mean? Z-zombies aren't real, right?"

"Neither are unicorns, but one is making a dress for you as we speak. So, can we exit through the stairwell?"

>Shirley nods quickly as she works her light blue shirt back on

>"It'll put on right back on the streets, though. How many did ya' see?"

"A few, but that is not really comforting."

>The banging at the door slowly fades away as you hear foot steps shuffle away

>Everyone is silent as you await another noise

>You creep to the stairs and quietly climb to the top

>Everyone huddles in as you whisper to them

"I will step out first to see if we are clear. I'll wave you in when I am certain."

>You take a deep breath and reach for the door

>Today just got weird...