It's Not Easy Being Pink II

>Day Anon's Closet on Earth

>Be Pinkie Pie

>Anon is out of the house

>He has asked you to stay inside until the time is just right

>You don't know when it will be just right

>You watch television while sipping a fizzy drink Anon calls, "Coke"

>This recipe will make Sugarcube Corner real popular back home

>You sip through your squiggly straw while a cartoon plays

>It's not a great cartoon and hardly holds your attention

>Your stomach growls

PP: Oh, hello, stomach! What's that? You're hungry? Well, lets get you a snack!

>You hop to your hooves and trot happily to the kitchen

>You spring from your heels to the counter top and open some cabinets

>You contemplate the practical applications of Anon's height and his bipedal nature and think the cabinets are perfect for him...

>Oh~, chocolate chip cookies!

>You grab this bag and happily trot back to the couch

>You open the bag and dump the entirety of it's contents  into your mouth

>A big chew and a hard swallow is it all takes to muscle through the chocolaty-goodness

>You sip from the Coke again

>The bubbles tickle your throat and makes you laugh

>You roll over on your back and look at the world upside-down

>Upside-down is a silly word

>You kick off the couch with your back hooves and perform a small cartwheel

PP: Ta~da!

>You announce to nop0ny in particular

PP: I bet Anon will be back soon

>You sit in front of the door for a moment

>This is soooo boring

PP: I bet Anon will be home soon... bu~t, I bet he has cool stuff in his room

>You bounce over to his room and push the door open

>Your eyes take in everything

>White walls, bed in center of room, shutters drawn, the air is cool and still

>You walk in cautiously

>This is Anon's most sacred of sacred places!

>You sniff at the air and can almost smell Anon all over

>You gaze at his big bed

PP: Now why didn't Anon let me sleep in here with him last night? I mean, this bed is huge!

>You press it with a hoof

>The mattress is super soft!

>A wicked idea forms in your mind

>Just one bounce, Anon will never know!

>You hop up to Anon's bed and walk to the middle

>You make a small jump and spring up and down a few times

>Clapping your hooves, you try again

>You spring and bounce like a trampoline super star

>When you're done, Anon's bed is a mess

>You will fix it before you leave

>No sense in fixing it now in case you want to bounce a few more times later

>You walk over to a small drawer

>Opening it, you find some of Anon's clothing

>You raise a small pair of white undergarments that are speckled with red polka-dots

>A small hole is cut into the front

>You understand exactly what this slit is for and you grin

PP: Clever humans, you made pony clothes before I ever got here!

>You quickly slide on the underwear and let your tail push through the hole

>Perfect fit!

>You trot around with your new pants on

PP: Fancy pants! Fancy pants! I got fancy pants~!

>You walk over to another drawer

>Rummaging around, you find a small golden locket in its own bed of silk

>The shiny thing is so out of place

>You pick it up carefully and open it up

>You see a human with curly, red hair smiling inside the locket

>Who is she? Why didn't Anon tell you about his other friends?

>A lot of questions race through your mind

>You push them aside and rest the locket in its bed again

PP: I bet Anon will like some cupcakes when he comes home...

>No, you KNOW Anon will LOVE some cupcakes when he comes home

>You quickly gallop from his room to the kitchen

>All you gotta find is cup of flour, add it to the mix... then something sweet...

>Apples are sweet!

>Apple cupcakes

>Ohh~! Vanilla bean!

>You mix up your batter real well

>Mix-a, mix-a, mix-a!

PP: I hope Anon brings home frosting

>You pop in the cupcakes and set the oven

PP: I don't care for this part

>You sit on your hunches and sigh

>Baking is so fun, but the "baking" is so boring

>You resolve to watch some television

>Humans are on a game show now...

Host: Next question... at what temperature does water boil?

PP: Oh~! Oh~! 212 degrees! Or 100 degrees... it depends where you are in Equestria

>The human answers incorrect

>Silly head

Host: Next question... what is the process of removing water from sugars know as?

PP: Cara-mel-eye-zay-shun!

>You squeal at the funny word

>Again, the human fails the question

>You place your hooves on the television screen and nuzzle at the human

PP: Don't worry. As long as you had fun, it's not all bad!

>You pull your face off the television and the human smiles

>You guess she heard you all the way over there

>You spring to your hooves

>Cupcakes are nearly done

PP: Come out, my little pretties~!

>You place the hot tray on the counter to cool

>Anon will be so happy!

>You hear a knock at the door

>Oh goodie, company!

>You rush to the door and open it

PP: Welcome home, Anon!

>Standing before you is a girl human with straight, black hair

>She just stands there for a moment

PP: Oh, sorry, I thought you were Anon. Hehehe

>The human's face curls up into a mix of fear and excitement

>You think you broke her

PP: Uh, miss... you OK?

>She nods and clutches a book to her stomach

PP: Oh, well, good. If Anon knew I was talking to you, he'd be real upset~! Oh gosh, but I am talking to you now and Anon's not here, but when he gets here you can bet he'll tell me, oh boy, will he, he'll tell me, "Pinkie Pie, you can't be talking to other humans blah blah blah dissections and laboratories blah blah blah" and then I'll just keep nodding and nodding and he'll get bored and we'll make cupcakes, but, oh my gosh~! I already made cupcakes!

>You pop up behind the girl and push her in quickly

>The door slams shut and a wide grin spreads across your face

PP: Oh, yeah, my name's Pinkie Pie, but everyp0ny calls me, "Pinkie"

>The girl stumbles over a few words

>She is noticeably shaken

PP: Oh, how rude, you came all this way for Anon, right?

>She nods, never taking her eyes off you

PP: Oh, he's buying stuff right now. I think he'll be back soon though

>You hold a hoof to your chin and think hard

>Nothing~!

PP: Well, why we wait. Would you like a cupcake? Baked 'em myself!

>The girl has no time to answer

>You are a pink blur as you set her up a cupcake and a glass of milk

PP: Go on, it won't bite!

>The girl sits and takes a small bite

>He eyes light up

Girl: Oh, this is good. Thank you... Pinkie?

PP: You said my name!

>The girl chuckles nervously

Girl: Oh, this book is for Anon. He lent it to me a while ago. I forgot I had it

PP: Oh, what's it about?

Girl: Well, it's a story of sorts... a romance novel

PP: Oh~! Romance stories! My friend Rarity likes those things a lot

Girl: Oh? Is... are there more of you around here?

PP: Nope, I am only here, all my other friends are back home

Girl: Where is "home?"

PP: Equestria, silly! My, my, Anon wasn't wrong when he said other humans would be hard to talk to. Oh wait, what's your name?

Maria: My name's Maria

PP: Oh, that's pretty. Like your mane!

>You point to Maria's straight and shiny mane

Maria: Why, thank you, Pinkie Pie. I just straightened it this morning. And I really like... your mane?

PP: You do? Oh, that's so nice. Anon likes my mane like this too. Oh, oh~! But, sometimes, I do this...

>You take a deep breath and exhale quickly

>Your mane goes silky straight

>You giggle and snort a bit

PP: Cool, huh?

M: What are you even?

PP: A pony, duh!

>You stick your tongue out innocently

M: Right... if you say so...

PP: I do!

>You excited mood puffs your mane back into a curly forest

>You giggle again

>The door bursts open abruptly

A: Pin~kie! I'm ho~me! I had the strangest urge to stop and buy frosting earlier and I...

>Anon has a few bags in his hand

>He drops everything when he sees Maria

A: What are you doing here!? How'd you get in!?

M: Pinkie let me in

A: You... met... Pinkie?

>You wave to Anon

A: Pinkie... Pinkie Pie... did this human touch you inappropriately or call anyone on the phone?

PP: Hmmm... nope! We did share mane styles though

A: Oh, excellent, I am glad... Now, if you'll excuse me. I need to fetch some rope and chloroform

M: Anon, do not be so rash. A lady knows how to keep a secret. I will not fault you for living with another woman

A: I am not living with another woman, you don't know me, Pinkie is a pony... it's totally not like that

M: Oh, Anon, dear, I know how you are with all pretty faces

A: So yeah, getting that rope...

>Anon walks to his bedroom and then stamps back out

A: Pinkie Pie... did you go in my room?

>Opps

PP: Uh... oh yeah, I forgot to clean up when I was done...

>You giggle nervously

A: And why are you wearing my boxers?

PP: I thought they were for me? Why else would they have a tail-hole if humans don't have tails?

A: Your logic is flawless, my pink friend. And you, Maria... why do you show up now? Did you just think I'll be here for you whenever you decide that you need a shoulder to...

>Maria holds up the book

M: I had meant to return this to you last week

A: I forgot I had that. You can keep it

>Maria looks sternly at Anon

M: Is it not you who explicitly said that I must return it?

A: That was like three years ago. I'm surprised you remember

M: What, you were only out for three days?

A: Years, days, it gets messy between dimensions and realities. I'll explain later

PP: Oh, wait, Anon! Before you go on... wanna cupcake?

>Anon holds a firm face while he looks at you

>You hope he is not too upset

>With a flash of green and black, Anon produces the jar of frosting and is sitting beside you

A: Oh, Pinkie, you look so cute in those boxer shorts. Can you frost a cupcake for me? I love how smooth you do it

>Anon loves your cupcakes

>Your heart beats hard knowing he's not mad with you

>You could just explode, but first, frosting!

A: Pinkie, I don't know how you make these delicious beasts. I could never cook this well

PP: I'll make you more whenever you want, Anon!

>Anon furiously eats the cupcake you finish frosting

>He smiles and gives a small burp

M: Manners, Anon! Say, "Excuse me" when you burp like that

A: Pfft, it's a compliment in Ponyville and China or whatever

>You pass a little time with Maria and Anon

>You speak of yourself and friends, of Anon and adventures

>Before you know, the sun is setting

M: Well, this has been... strange

A: Ponies grow on you once you get over the obvious problems... like they are talking animals

M: And you lived in their world for three years?

A: Give or take. It sure wasn't easy. They don't even have the internet invented yet

>Maria looks at Anon with scorn

M: I am sure -that- was your biggest problem

A: The biggest problem, for sure, was avoiding FlutterBiscuit. That girl's head isn't screwed on tight enough

PP: Oh, Anon, she just had a little crush on you! She told me all about it one day

>Anon physically shakes

A: No person or pony would believe the trials she put me through. She's pretty much psychotic around me...

M: Anon, always the lady's man. When you're not fumbling over your own tie

A: Hey! So I need your help one time! One time!

M: There's no helping you, darling. You're as naive as you are cute

>With that, Maria gets up and takes her leave

>When she exits, the apartment is quiet again

PP: Hey, Anon?

A: Yeah?

PP: You did like spending time with everyp0ny, didn't ya?

A: Of course I did... I mean, I would still like to. Are you getting home sick?

PP: Not really, no. I mean, I am sure my friends miss me a super-duper lot, but I know they'd be doing everything they could to get me back

A: I expected the same

PP: Why, I bet Twilight will show up here any day now and tell me it's time to come home. Oh, and you can come back with me and I'll back a super-duper-welcome-back-to-Equestria-Anon cake to celebrate!

>Anon pets your mane down your back

A: I'd love that, Pinkie. I really would

>Your heart thumps up

>You want to bake for Anon forever

PP: Your bed is really soft, Anon. I should sleep with you tonight instead of on the couch!

>Anon stops for a moment

>He speaks slowly and clearly

A: We can try it out... no funny business though

>You nod and smile

>What funny business could you get up to in your sleep?

PP: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!

>Anon smiles

>You promise yourself to always make Anon smile