In My Own Words II

>Night Uncomfortably Unfamiliar on Earth

>Be Noteworthy

>You find yourself waking up periodically and checking the clock

>1 AM, still in the human world

>2 AM, still in a human bed

>By the third time, you realize you are going to be dragging tomorrow if you don't get some sleep

>You think a drink might calm your nerves or maybe writing a letter will ease your mind

>The clock to your bedside reads 3 AM now and you kick the blankets off your body

>It is cooler this way, at the very least

"Sleep, Note... Go to bed. You need energy for tomorrow. Come on..."

>A noise suddenly catches your attention and you look out the window

>Rain is lightly pattering around outside

>You suddenly realize that you don't know who controls the weather on Earth

>It would make a great story from Anon, you are sure

>A flashes catches your eye as if somep0ny took your picture before a boom rings through the house

>No pony generated storm ever sounded so loud or built up so quickly in your life

>Fearfully, you run from the room as quickly as your hooves can take you until you find yourself at Anon's door

>It is cracked open and you push into the wooden obstruction with blatant disregard for anyp0ny else

>You look to Anon sleeping soundly in his bed and think that maybe the storm isn't reaching this part of the house

>Another eruption of thunder sends chills from your tail to your horn and you leap into the air

>Anonymous doesn't so much as stir from all of this

>You hate admitting your scared and thank the heavens that there is no one to admit to right now

>Consequences aside, you hop into Anon's bed and stuff your head under a pillow

>You shake for a few moments until you feel a cool something touch your flank

>"Note? Noteworthy?! What's going on?"

"Anon, something's wrong with the weather!"

>A boom thunder strikes extremely close and the whole room shakes

>You squeal with terror and Anon looks around carefully

>"Y-you're scared of thunder?"

"No! I am totally fine with it!"

>"You look like you're about to wet yourself..."

"Something is wrong with this thunder! I didn't hear anything from the weather ponies! It's a totally unscheduled storm!"

>"Think the news said scattered showers... 20% chance or so. It's nothing, really."

"Do you hear how loud it is? That is not nothing!"

>"Man, 3 AM... Get some sleep, Note."

"I was trying and then all of -this- just started."

>"Fine, I don't care, I'm too tired to argue. Just... I don't know, just lay down and get some sleep."

>You stop quivering like a newborn just long enough to question him

"Y-you'd let me sleep next to you?"

>A booming noise causes you to nearly spring through the wall and you take Anon up on his offer without further interrogating

>You press against his body hard enough for him to cough a little as you settle in

>"Take it easy, you..."

"Weather ponies always come around to tell everyp0ny before they make a storm..."

>"It's a little different here... I'll tell you in the morning."

>A chill runs up your spine again, but you aren't sure if it is the noise or Anon's cold hands wrapping around your belly

>Truth be told, you manage to block out the storm in record time

>Anon's body rolls up against your own and you feel his face on the back of your neck

>Is he trying to get closer?

>Your tail wraps between his legs and you hold on lightly

>Amazingly, you close your eyes and cope with the storm until finally passing out

>Being scared is exhausting!

 

>Day For Lack of Blankets on Earth

>Be Anonymous

>You awake to see the sun is already up and your head aches lightly from some pressure

>Turning yourself around, you find a pony snoozing sounding on the better half of your body

>"So, I wasn't dreaming that..."

>Your arm is wrapped around her back and to her belly and you cannot stop your hand from petting Note's warm stomach

>The feeling is exquisitely soft, almost like satin sheets

>Her mane is pushed far enough into your face that each breath draws in her smell

>It is some mixture of shampoo with a delicate aroma of straw and flax

>You try to dislodge yourself without waking her only to find that your leg is bound up by her tail

>For someone who's not afraid of thunder, she seemed to make damn sure you didn't go anywhere

>The clock reads out 8 AM in red letters and you sigh

"Note... hey... Note?"

>You tap her belly only to have her roll over

>Her face presses into your own and you try to move back

"Noteworthy, scoot over."

>"Five more minutes, dad..."

>Her leg wraps around your own and you can barely wiggle at the moment

>You prod her a little harder and see her eyes blink open

>"Oh, Anon... hey, what's up?"

>You feel her hips move about before she looks at you

>"Whoa, this is awkward, huh?! Good thing we didn't have any cider last night, am I right?"

>Her eyes are vibrantly colourful and spark with energy

"Can you please get off me so I can hit the bathroom?"

>"Oh, hah! S-sure! Let me just umm, untangle myself here..."

>Noteworthy fidgets about as you two unwind

>"Um, thanks for letting me sleep with you... I mean, here! With you, here, in this bed!"

"I know what you mean..."

>"So, um... Good, you're not weirded out by this! I am not either, for your information! I felt fine sleeping with y-, by you. Sleeping -by- you!"

>She blushes a shade of red you didn't know she could and just laugh

"We've talked about worse than this, Note! Sleepovers should be the gentlest topic we've ever seen."

>"Yeah, I know, right!? I mean, I'm fine, pfft, sleeping next to somep0ny! It's totally natural and like... natural and whatever..."

>You see her bury her face under a pillow as she continues to mumble

>It is funny to you to find her so nervous when her letters would involve all kinds of topics that boarded on the side of questionable

>You were not really nervous because you knew full well that you were in control

>She is your best friend after all, what difference does it make if she's not human?

>It's not like she isn't pretty or that you haven't given it thought

>You wouldn't want to force yourself on her

>But, what if she did want to get physical?

>You glance over yourself while you release your piddle and think carefully

>She is cute, funny, smart and witty when she puts her mind to it

>You could be in better shape, but it's not like you look awful

>A firm palm takes a quickly measurement of you most important feature

>If she wanted to do anything like -that-, you're sure that you would be more than enough

>But, what if she's been with stallions where she comes from?

>Sure, stallions are bigger than you and maybe she doesn't know what humans look like down there

>The more you think, the smaller you feel and the more nervous the prospect of sex becomes

"We don't need to do that... Two people could be friends without worrying about sex..."

>It makes a good bit of logical sense, but that little, illogical corner of your brain continues to nag at you

>You brush off the idea as best you can before starting a shower

>That should cool you down enough to get today started!

 

>On a fine mattress in impossible comfort

>Be Noteworthy

>You sniff greedily at the pillow on your face and take as much of the human smell as you can

>Anon must sleep here every night to make the linen smell so much like him

>Sheer exhaustion last night much have been the only thing keeping your body from drooling all over his legs

>Waking up on top of him was too much for you and the imagine sits neatly burned into your memory

"Calm down... easy... It would be rude to masturbate in Anon's bed. No matter how tempting."

>Why didn't somep0ny warn you he would smell so good?

>These are things a mare simply shouldn't have to find out the hard way!

>You toss a bit and wrap the blankets in your thighs

>You think about getting up and taking a bath for a moment, but decide to enjoy Anon's room a while longer

>It is quite plain, you think, with only a few pieces of furniture laying about the place

>He has his own television set in this room as well, which is unheard of in Equestria

>Television is fairly new and expensive, a single house would usually only have one TV in the main living room

>You have counted two in Anon's home so far and both are bigger than any TV back home

>After shifting uncomfortably against the blankets for a few moments, you unwrap yourself and touch down on the soft floor

>You admire the varies floor designs Anon has throughout his house

>Back home, all your floors are wood, but carpet is too expensive to clean anyways

>A closest door catches your attention and you decide to check it out

>Hanging neatly in some kind of plastic wrapping are six identical suits to what Anon always wears

>The closest smells like freshly washed wool and wildflowers

>Humans must have a thing for wildflowers, you ponder

>You close the door and your ears ping to one side at the sound of another door opening

>Anon steps in with a towel around his waist and water glistening off his body

>You've got to stop meeting like this!

"Oh, hey, Anon. Was your bath good?"

>"No complaints here. Mind stepping out for a moment? I need to get dressed."

"I don't mind at all..."

>He lifts an eyebrow at you before you realize what you said

>With a red face, you scamper past him and out into the hall

>Your heart throbs in your chest and seems to radiate straight to your nethers  as you stand outside Anon's doorway

>He reappears quickly enough and flashes you a smile

>"Alright, breakfast. What do you want?"

"Hmm, didn't you tell me before that you loved crepes?"

>"Sharp as ever, my friend."

"Well, I've been practicing!"

>"Do you really want to cook? We could go out for breakfast if it would be easier?"

>How easy it would be, but you have a point to prove to yourself!

"No, no, it's fine! I -want- to do this for you. You know? Because you've done so much already."

>Anon shrugs and heads down the stairs towards the kitchen

>You follow slowly trying to think through the limited recipes you know

>The kitchen area is really kind of intimidating and all the counters are kind of high

>You would only be able to reach the countertops by standing on your back hooves

>Thank Celestia you still have your magic!

>Anon gathers up his pans and some supplies and sets them out, but you shoo him away

"Anon, you have to relax while I cook for you or this isn't going to work!"

>"What isn't going to work?"

>Your eyes bounce around while you try to explain

"I want to do something nice for you, because you've done so much for me already. It's only fair that -I- can also be productive."

>"Aren't you on vacation?"

"You are too! Now sit down and let me make you some breakfast!"

>You scrunch your nose up in minor frustration as Anon grins a silly grin

>"Yes, honey."

>The comment rocks you a little with parts sarcasm and parts endearment

>You have to make this breakfast and you have to make it good!

>It's an excuse, a fine one at that, to show off your intuitive mare abilities

>It takes you a good half hour to prepare and you make a larger mess than you had wanted

>When the first bit of batter hits the hot skillet, you smile knowing that this is perfect

>Sadly, you burn the first one, but these things happen!

>The second, third and even fourth come out perfectly and by the sixth and final flat pancake, you hit your stride

>Meanwhile, Anon has been moving around to set the table, create a filling for the crepes and wash the dishes

>So much for him relaxing, but you suppose he never hinted at being the type to sit back

>You push the stack to one side and begin filling each shell generously

>Your magic folds them tight and you admire your work for the moment

>"They smell delicious, Note. Can't wait to try them."

>Recognition!

"What? This old recipe? Nothing to it!"

>You shine you hoof on your chest and beam towards Anon at the table

>The plate floats in your magic and you trot daintily across the ceramic floor to him

"The filling you made smells delicious. You remembered I like strawberries."

>"How could I forget?"

>He is just as charming as the letters would have you believe

>You feel like a lucky mare to have found a friend like him, even if he is human and it did take this long to get together

>With a smile, you place four of the delicious pastries before him

"Is that enough?"

>"For us to share?"

"No, silly, for you?"

>"I guess if I want to go back to bed, that'll do the trick."

>Anon smiles to you casually and brings a fork to his hand

"Humans are bigger than ponies, so I figured you'd need more food."

>Without warning, Anon takes a bit of his breakfast and pops it into your mouth

>"You're cute when you're making shit up, you know that?"

>The compliment barely registers in your mind as you stare into his gorgeous eyes

>Being fed like some prized mare by her stallion

>If ever one of your erotic novels sprang from its pages, it would look exactly like this

>Anon removes his fork slowly and you nearly whine in ecstasy

>Without wiping it, he picks up another bit of food and eats it

>You breathe heavily for a moment as you watch him

>It is like you've just kissed!

>"Note? You OK?"

"F-fine... so fine..."

>You sit beside him and cover your face with one hoof in a vain attempt to hide the blush spreading over your nose

"H-how's the food?"

>"Fabulous! Much better than where I was going to take you this morning."

"Heh, glad you like it..."

>You take your fork in your magic and devour a tasty crepe with little effort

>All this work this morning really got your appetite going and you work down another two before starting to feel satisfied

>Anon half watches you while eating and you notice that he only eats one before stopping

>So much for your original theory on human food

>"Simply fantastic, Note. You're a chef after all!"

>You let out a burp before covering your muzzle, but Anon returns it in kind

>"So... You feel like spending some time at the beach today?"

"Do I ever! Haven't had time to just relax on the sand in forever!"

>Anon nods to you and checks a flat electronic you haven't yet seen

>"Good timing too... hang on a moment while I make a call."

>Who's he going to call?

>Ghostbusters!

>Ahh, the theme is stuck in your head now!

>Anon produces a small, black rectangle from some hidden pocket on his clothing

>He rapidly taps at it until it glows

>If that is a phone, you are a giraffe!

>"Yes, hello? This is Anonymous. I'm going to be around at around 12:30 this afternoon. Right, exactly. Yes, fill her up too, thanks!"

>Anon hangs up his phone and your neck feels a little longer at the moment

"What was that about? What is that even?"

>"What, this?"

>Anon holds out the small device and you examine it closely

>"Cell phone. I suppose you don't have that in Equestria?"

"Not even a little! That's pretty nifty."

>The level of techno-sorcery on Earth would make for a great case study

>You have to yell at yourself to stop from drafting a document

>"We have a good three hours before we have to be at the docks. Lets get you something more comfortable for summer."

"More clothes?"

>"Yes, I've seen places that sell pony swimsuits."

"OK, let me just wash up first. I'll be out in 30 minutes!"

>You head upstairs while Anon begins washing the last few dishes

>It is not unusual for you to be able to shower and "dress" in mere minutes back home, but you find the chore of putting on multiple articles of clothing much more time consuming

>Your sure you'll get the hang of it as you continue

>It takes you nearly an hour when all is said and done, but you make it back down to Anon

>"Ah, I thought you got stuck in the drain."

>He shoots you a playful grin and holds his car keys closely

>Without wasting time on small talk, you head for the door and Anon follows quickly

>You are the first to the car and anxiously await for Anon to open the door

"Oh, this is so exciting! I love the beach! Do you think they'll have food carts selling cheesy pretzels?"

>You lick your muzzle as your mouth waters

>"Definitely by the boardwalk. We could stop their for lunch after a hard day of relaxing."

>Anon always seems to know just what to say

>He's very smart despite not being a pony!

>The car ride is the usual exhausting experience of vulgar language and nauseating speeds, but you arrive at your destination quickly enough

>You step out in front of a massive complex and find yourself surrounded by a parking lot

>The castle-like structure before you has massive blue lettering on the front that reads, "Wal-Mart"

>"This place has everything you'll ever need and half a dozen other things you didn't know you wanted."

"That's a store?"

>"A mega store."

"I'll say! It's big enough to house a small town in!"

>"And it makes more money than a small country! It is really a beautiful study in human values."

>Anon and yourself begin to make you way into the store

>The doors are nice enough to open for you and inside is delightfully cool

>Upon entering this palace to all things human, you feel surprisingly in your own element

>A sign hangs from the ceiling reading, "Welcome!", "¡Bienvenida!", and "ШƎLƆOПƎ"

>It surprises you that humans would go through the trouble to write in Equestrian

>"Alright, lets head to the clothing department. It is dangerous to wondering around here."

>You look to Anon at the word

"Why is it dangerous here?"

>"Because... I can never leave without spending $50 on things I don't even want."

>You chuckle and pat the back of his leg

"I'll make sure you don't buy anything except for the bathing suit."

>The rows of goods stretch on for possibly miles ahead of you as you read each sign above

"Ah, there it is!"

>You point towards a large sign reading, "Mares" and trot off ahead of Anon

>This place seems much more pony friendly than the last store you shopped in and you almost dare to question why

>Instead, you just begin to browse through the clothes

>It doesn't take long until you find a few items that look like they would fit

>Anon appears from behind you

>"Finding anything here?"

"I think so... um, what about this one?"

>You hold up a two-piece swimsuit that is green with red polka-dots

>Anon turns his eyes away as he speaks

>"Yeah, that's nice... whatever makes you happy."

>He can be so difficult to shop with sometimes, but you are sure somep0ny here will help you

>A human woman wearing a simple, blue vest passes by and you race to her

"Excuse me, miss! Hey there! Can I bother you for a minute?"

>The human looks to you with fairly blank eyes as you approach

>"What do you want?"

>Her tone is a little sharp, you think, but that is possibly normal for human woman

"I was wondering if you could help me decide on an outfit?"

>The woman tosses her head back and lets out a sigh of frustration

>"I'm not here for that. Go find a -pony- or whatever."

>She quickly walks off and you find yourself a little hurt

>Anon suddenly bursts from the isle and cuts the woman off with an unnatural fluidity to his step

>"You, -dreg-, I know you work a shit job at Wal-Mart, but it don't cost a cent to be a decent person..."

>He looks really angry, more so than when he's driving

>"Now, you own my little friend here an apology."

>"I'm not apologizing to a pony..."

>Anon's hand shoots at her vest and you hear the sound of something snapping

>He pulls back with a smile and you see a name tag in his hand

>"I'll just drop this off at the manager's desk for you."

>"What the hell are you doing?!"

>"Providing you with a means to find new employment. Think of it as helping you meet new people."

>The woman growls and swings her fist as Anon

>It collides with his chest with a sort of thudding sound and he looks up at her

>"And here I thought you didn't want to get into trouble."

>"Fuck you, asshole!"

>"Indeed..."

>A smile spreads across Anon's face as he places the name tag in his pocket

>"Go get your manager, girl, or escape from here while you can."

>The worker gives up and walks rapidly away from him with her fists balled

>Anon returns to your side and sighs unhappily

>"I am sorry, Note. She's just... do you have, 'bitches' where you come from?"

"Like... a curse word or the animal?"

>"The first."

"I see... well, I'm not really angry or anything. Thanks for standing up for me though!"

>"I can't see why people would be so inconsiderate."

"Well, back on topic. Which one should I get?"

>You hold up a blue and white striped one-piece swimsuit next and Anon looks it over

>"Is that going to fit?"

"Sure! I mean, it should, right? Says, 'Medium' on the inside."

>Anon leads you towards a dressing room and you step inside

>You first remove your "normal" clothes and set them neatly in a pile

>It takes a bit of wriggling to get the top half of the green bikini on, but it fits comfortably enough

>You next step into the bottom half and pull it up with your magic

>Your tail threads into the silver ring and you give a good tug to get it over your backside

>Looking in the mirror, you think you look pretty good

>The only concern is that the bikini bottom makes your butt look much bigger than you know it is

>Regardless, you step out and see Anon waiting with a dull look on his face

>The bored stare doesn't last long when he spots you and you strut a little more than you probably should towards him

"So, how does this look?"

>You smile as you stretch each hoof out and take long steps in a circle

>Your teasing pays off as Anon's face colors and he tries to talk coolly

>"Yes, excellent! Great choice! Just go undress... in the changing room, I mean."

>It always feels nice when you get him to notice that you're a mare

>While you dress, you wonder to yourself why Anon would get fluttery when you are wearing almost nothing and not when you're actually naked

>He is kind of odd sometimes and maybe clothing is his fetish or something!

>You push the thought aside and don your casual wear again

"Alright, all ready to go!"

>You burst from the dressing room with a smile only to see the angry girl from earlier and another human male talking with Anonymous

>"Sir, Alice says that you stole her badge. Is that true?"

>"Stole? I am many things, but not a thief. While I've got your attention, I'd also like to report this -Alice- for having a piss-poor attitude and being rude to a valued customer."

>The man speaking with Anon is wearing a blue vest, much like the girl's, but seems to have a few more pins on it

>He turns and looks at the girl quickly

>"Lets sort one thing out at a time. Do you have her ID?"

>Anon reaches into his pocket and dangles the name tag before him

>"I do. Now, my turn..."

>The man reaches for the badge, but Anon pulls it back quickly and holds it behind his back

>"First and foremost, do not shrug a customer off like they are yesterday's trash. That is not the way to do things. Secondly, treat -everyone- as you would like to be treated."

>"OK, sir, I am sure whatever Alice did, she is very sorry. Alice, apologize to the gentleman."

>Anon holds a finger up to silence everyone

>"Do not waste your breath on me for I do not forgive! Rather, apologize to the one's feelings you did hurt."

>Anon points down towards you with an open palm and looks at Alice sternly

>The man quickly speaks up

>"OK, Alice, apologize to the horse."

>"Noteworthy..."

>Anon's face contorts like a dog about to bite

"Yes, alright, apologize to Noteworthy, Alice."

>Alice, herself, looks very frustrated at everything and the three humans are kind of making you uncomfortable in their quest to solve this nonissue

>After a solid minute of awkward silence, you get your unwanted apology from Alice

>Anon's teeth show clearly through his wide, evil grin and he passes the ID tag over

>"There we are..."

>Alice almost looks like she wants to cry or maybe hit Anonymous; maybe even both!

>You and Anon move on to the checkout counter and then back to the rest of your day

"So, how far is the beach from here?"

>"About a mile or so. We're actually not going to the beach first."

"Oh? Where are we going first?"

>"My boat. You said you wanted to take a ride yesterday."

>You tap your hooves together excitedly

"You have a boat? That's so awesome! I once did an entire column on Filthy Rich, he's a mogul back home, and he took me out on his boat just for kicks. I swear, if I had discovered boats before news, my cutie mark would be sailing!"

>Anon gives a goofy smile at you

>"Good enthusiasm, Note. Save some for the actual trip or you'll be sleeping before we hit the docks."

>You giggle and lay back against the seat again

"I am all about hype, but you already knew that."

>"Get hype!"

>Anon pumps his fist into the air

"Gettin' hyped!"

>You follow the motion with your own hoof

>The two of you burst out into a fit of laughter before as the drive lingers on

>"You want to hear the radio?"

"Sure, but I don't know human music too well."

>"Don't worry, no one does..."

>You shrug and Anon presses a few buttons

>The radio comes to life with sound before Anon flips through the channels

>A tune catches him off guard and he smiles widely

>Another voice comes from the car radio and you listen in carefully

>"... I wanna wake up where you are/I won't say anything at all..."

>Anon looks to you and then back to the road as he sings along

>"And I'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete! Little pieces of the nothing that fall~!"

>He looks back to you and you would swear his eyes have a dream-like quality to them

>"Put your arms around me! What you feel is what'cha are and what'cha are is beautiful!"

>Anon returns his gaze on the road ahead and you feel completely choked up

>The song fills your ears and you picture Anon still singing to you with that look in his eye

>"Do you wanna get married? Runaway?"

>A feeling of overpowering words and meanings makes your skin tingle and your eyes mist

>Human music seems to speak right into your very being

>It is poetic and fluid, fast and powerful, and you are left speechless when the song ends

"That... It's such a beautiful song. We don't have anything like this in Equestria..."

>"It's fairly old now, this song, I mean. I got plenty of others if you like this?"

>You're not sure if you've ever felt music like this before and you turn to Anonymous

"Hey, Anon?"

>He turns to face you and casually grins

>"What is it, Note?"

>You freeze his portrait of this moment in your head and lock it away in your memory

"Thanks..."

>He looks a little confused with you, but it was never for him to understand

>It is not more than 20 minutes that you arrive at a large marina

>Stepping out of the car, the sea air hits your nose first and you smile

>Something about the ocean always makes you feel at home

>You scope out the docks as Anon leads you up a wooden ramp

>There are at least a hundred boats or so tied up and bobbing in the water

>You have never seen boats this big in your life!

>Even Filthy's yacht looked like a dinghy next to some of docked vessels

"What a scoop! This would be a great story on human maritime fun! Maritime Merriment! No, better title, Boating Buddies: A First Hoof Account of Human Sailing!"

>Anon looks at you and laughs

>He walks around to one side where you see a large loading ramp leading into the water

>A pony with a gear and wrench cutie mark spots you two and waves you in

>"Anonymous, right on time. We got you fueled up and ready."

>The mechanic pony looks you over once and flashes his slightly yellow smile

>"And who's this lovely mare?"

>You roll your eyes, but smile nonetheless at the compliment

>"My friend, Note. She just got in from Equestria."

>You take charge and insert yourself into the conversation with a firm hoof shake

"Yep, Noteworthy! Ponyville's number one columnist. And you are?"

>"Name's Buckingham, but people around here just call me, 'Buck'. Pleasure meeting you, -Note-."

>Buck looks up to Anonymous and gives him some kind of signal with his eyes

>Anon stops for a moment and looks at the mechanic with a bit of surprise

>"What? No! Cut that out!"

>"I'm jus' saying, man! Never see you come around here with guests, is all. 'Specially -pretty- guests, hah."

>"Why is it so difficult for everyone? A man and mare could be completely platonic friends, right? Do people just assume that because two people hang out they're an item?"

>"The more you fight it, man, the stronger it gets!"

>You are half in, half out of this conversation and think it has more to do with postulating than anything else

>That's a good word, you think, for a column later

>"Just give me my keys, you nut."

>"Sure, sure, here you go."

>Anon snatches up his keys, looking angry but acting playful in some way

>"Do you still stock wine in the fridge below?"

>"Of course I do, what kind of question is that?"

>Buck lets out a big laugh, like he knows something you don't

>Anon turns a little red before leading you out

>"Damn it, Buck... walked right into that one."

>You find yourself outside again in the afternoon sun and Anon leads you to his boat

>It hardly seems real to you as you approach the massive boat

>Its sleek, white frame rests casually in the water and the sheer height of the beast almost makes you dizzy

"This is the most beautiful boat I've ever seen."

>"Thank you! I think it's nice too. Some of the people around here rag on me for buying Meridian, though."

>It almost makes sense to you when you consider how much larger some of the other boats are

>Anon holds his palm out to you and bows slightly

>"Shall we?"

>You smile and walk up the ramp until you are comfortably standing on the boat floor

>Anon tosses the ramp to one side and hoists himself up on his powerful arms

>"Alright, first mate Noteworthy. We set sail at thirteen-hundred!"

>Anon gestures to a set of narrow stairs for you to climb

>Human's make the worst staircases imaginable, but you do manage to make it to the top

>Climbing up, you see the ocean ahead of you in all its splendor and squeak in anticipation

>Anonymous follows up next and moves to a nice seat in the front by a wheel that looks not unlike the steering wheel of the car

>He sits down and motions you over

>The seat is large enough for you to sit beside him, albeit with your rump pressing up against his leg

>You hear the sound of a motor rev to life as Anon turns the key and a shiver runs down your spine

>"Is this a boat or a car?"

>"A motor boat, why?"

>So much for peaceful sailing!

>"No reason..."

>Anon shrugs to you once before you feel the vessel begin to move

>Your skilled friend navigates out of the harbor and into open water and the ride feels much nicer than a car so far

>"Alright, put these on."

>Anon hands you a pair of sunglasses and you do as instructed

>Your voice is about to ask what these are for when you feel the ship lurch forward with a new determination

>A splash of misty sea water picks up from the sides and the glasses protect your eyes from both the bright sun and the spray

>You see the ocean begin to open wider as Anon drives you both further away from the shore and, despite the speed, you find yourself smiling

>Anon speaks to you softly as he turns the boat in another direction quickly

>"Out of the line now, we'll be picking up a little speed to beat some of these rolling bumps, OK?"

"I have no idea what any of that is!"

>"Perfect!"

>Anon pushes something and presses another button and you are suddenly thrust into the soft seat cushion

>All the while your eyes feel like they are sinking into your head, Anon is smiling widely and pressing his face into the rushing wind

>"Smells delicious, no?"

>You don't bother trying to answer with how loud the wind is

>About five or so minutes pass at this break-neck speed before Anon begins to slow the boat

>Your mane feels wind whipped to one side and you look up at him with demanding eyes

"Anon... can we drive a little slower?"

>"Oh? Absolutely! Was 20 miles too much?"

"It was a little fast."

>You try to push your mane down and Anon chuckles

>"Alright, I'll take it easy. We are actually at our destination."

>You look up from the seat and over one side to see water and more water in every direction

>The city sits placidly on the horizon now, a mere spec of its former self

"Um, where is here exactly?"

>"On the ocean, of course!"

>Anon presses a few more buttons and stands up

>"We'll maintain this position as long as we'd like. Love calm weather out here. Do you want to go get changed so we can soak up some sun?"

>You nod easily as Anon begins to descend the stairs again

>It makes you feel uncomfortable that no pony is at the wheel, but you think Anon has a good reason to just leave

>Worried thought aside, you awkwardly walk back down the steps and into the lower compartment

>The first thing you notice is the beautiful interior that looks a lot like somep0ny's house

>There is a TV set in the wall and you wonder what is up with humans and television

>"Oh, there you are. I put your clothes in the bathroom. Right door around the corner."

>You trot easily over and find the bathroom without issue

>It takes a few minutes to get out of your casual clothes and into your swimsuit, but you reappear to find Anonymous just leaving his bathroom

>His green shorts hug his legs nicely and the bulge at the front distracts you slightly

>He adjusts his shorts a bit lower before pulling the drawstrings together

>"Nothing but net, heh!"

>You don't get it, but smile as if

>Anon stops for a moment as he looks you over and you get a feeling you should pose a bit

>You stretch out your back leg and turn slightly ahead of him while strutting a bit harder than usual

>With a sultry smile, you crane your head over your shoulder

"What do you think about this -little- number, hmm?"

>"You look... ahem, you look nice. Yeah, real good choice."

>He runs a hand behind his head and looks upward

"You really think so? Kind of feels tight right here..."

>You use your magic to yank up the center around your crotch before adjusting it back in place

>"Oh, wow... I mean, no, yeah! You look great! How about that sun?"

>This is fun to tease Anon, you think

>You level your head as your own lewd thoughts start interfering and you slowly walk out ahead of Anon

>His feet make a soft step and you try to emulate it, but hooves on hardwood floors aren't the easiest thing to mask

>You step outside into the sunlight to find the boat is still in place

>You had half expected to be drifting towards nowhere by now, but Anon has never steered you wrong before!

>Anon goes to a counter you had not noticed and pulls out a small can of Coke and two bottles of water

>"Thirsty?"

>Even if you weren't, there is no way you could pass up a Coke

>Anon's fingers curl into the can lid before popping it open and he holds it out to you

>You wrap your magic around the can and lift it to your mouth

>The chilly drink makes your head swim with sugary delight as you gulp it down quickly

>"You really like that stuff, huh?"

>No words now, only Coke

>He sits at the back of the boat and displays his body to the sunshine and yourself

>His broad shoulders and strong arms look so inviting and you get the strangest idea of pouring Coke down his chest and licking it off

>With a frightful snap, you push that thought off the side of the boat and chuckle to yourself

>Surely, Anon would not appreciate doing that... unless he does...

>You shake your head harder as you try to clear these relentless thoughts

>"Hey, Note?"

>Your head flips up to look at him as if he caught you with your hoof in the cookie jar

>"Wanna take a load off?"

>He pats the seat beside him and you sigh with relief

>You step lightly to him and sit as vertically as you can

>"This is pretty nice today, yeah? It's like 80 degrees, but with the wind, it's just perfect!"

"Oh yes, it's great. I can't believe how big everything is here."

>"Hey, question for you. Can I ever go to Equestria?"

"I... I don't know. I don't think I've seen any humans in Ponyville ever. We sometimes get human goods and I know we ship a lot of pony goods, but I don't know if humans actually like coming to Equestria."

>"Why wouldn't we like it?"

"I don't know, maybe you just wouldn't? It's pretty and all, but so much different than Earth."

>Anon looks to you for further explaination

"Well, for one thing, you have a TV in almost every room and on this boat. I don't even own a TV! There is no MT stations anywhere near my house."

>"What's MT?"

"Magic Transmission. It's how you broadcast signals from each resonating tower. Wait, how do humans do it?"

>"We broadcast using radio waves or, in some cases digital ones, and then an antenna picks up that signal and goes through an extremely convoluted process to make a picture."

"So... no magic, right?"

>"Right, we humans don't have magic. We usually end up relying on some type of science. Since unicorns have been introduced to society, far as I have seen, magic is becoming an interesting topic in scientific circles."

"Oh, so like... my horn, right?"

>"Yes, but I don't think we should talk about this. It's not good vacation chatter."

"Why not?"

>"Because everything after this sentence would be extremely grim for you."

"But, not you?"

>"Not at all! Humans are hilariously easy-going about death and dismemberment."

>The words sink in quite deeply and you can barely find the words to express your surprise

"You what?"

>Anon sighs and looks at you with his big, caring eyes

>"If you really want to know... A pony council on Earth allowed human scientists to study the remains of a few unicorns who willingly donated their bodies to science. Willingly, mind you."

"What... did they do?"

>"Far as I know? Usual dissection, added a few pages to some bestiary about equine subspecies. They attempted to use the horn of said unicorns to recreate the magical effects it had, but it seems only the horn's owner can do anything with it."

"Wow... Is that normal?"

>"For humans? Absolutely. There was a big stink in Washington -after- all this happened. Apparently, somebody forgot to check on the funeral rituals of Equestria and they got an angry letter from your Princess."

"Oh gosh, Celestia herself sent a letter? What happened?"

>"Strained some relationship points with the Princess, but nothing really major. Humanity was ordered to stop further experimentation on Equestrians and I think that is for the better."

>You stop for a moment and look up at Anon

"You're right... this is bad vacation talk."

>He smiles and runs his hand down your mane

>"No worries, I would never try to experiment on you. I'm just not that kind of guy. Though, your horn is pretty cool."

>Without you noticing, Anon's hand slides around your horn and he drags his fingers down bump in the spiral

>The feeling runs straight to your brain and makes your tongue tingle before you finally moan and pull back

>Anon looks at you for a minute and then to his hand

>"Oh... I am... sorry?"

>You breathe deeply and try to get your tongue working properly again

"I-It's... don't worry..."

>Your face feels extra hot in the sun and you stand to your hooves to walk over to a shady area

>"I didn't know! Honest!"

>You would be more angry if you didn't wish he'd do it again

>Anon stands up and walks over to you carefully

>"I am sorry, I didn't know it was... sensitive. I thought it was a bone?"

"It's Ok, it's fine! Just... I need some water."

>He quickly retrieves a bottle and brings it back to you

>You take it without much consideration and begin to guzzle it

>Anything to take your mind off the feeling of his warm hands on your horn is a welcome relief

>Anon looks at you with a bit more intensity than normally and you stare back

"What? What's the matter?"

>"Nothing, sorry! I didn't mean to stare."

>Stupid, sexy Anon!

>You pull yourself together and sigh easily before going back to sitting on the bench

>Anon approaches you with another Coke in hand and smiles weakly

>"Hey, you... Soda?"

>You take it happily and smile to your confused friend

"I am sorry for acting so rude. Just be careful next time, OK?"

>"Yes, of course! I had no idea unicorn horns were sensitive."

"Now you do."

>You can't help but stare at Anon's fingers as you drink your Coke

>They glimmer in the fading sun with little beads of sweat from the cold can clinging to them and you get a strange urge to put them in your mouth

>A sound can be heard just behind you as something big hits the water

>You turn quickly to see something moving past the boat

>"Oh, neat, whales."

>You stand up on the seat to peer over into the ocean as a parade of black humps rise and fall

"Whales?"

>"Yes, do you have them in Equestria?"

"Yes, but... they look much happier there."

>"Don't tell me you are some whale-whisperer too?"

"No, no, I mean... they are brighter and kind of colorful. Like pink or blue and lots of colors like that."

>"Huh, weird."

>You admire the large animals for a while as they pass by

>It is odd that they don't stop to say, "Hello" or anything, but maybe they are just too busy

>The sun begins to set on another excellent day and you lose count of how many hours you must have been out in the blue

"Are we going back to your home for dinner?"

>"We can if you want."

"What else can we do?"

>"Sleepover on the boat?"

"Oh, can you do that?"

>Anon shrugs and smiles with a silly grin

>"Hasn't stop me before! We just need to move a bit closer to shore first."

>With that, Anon climbs to the top of the boat and you hear the engines come to life

>You look over the edge to see that they are hidden well in the water and it kind of makes you smile

>Without warning, the boat moves and you quickly slide onto the floor for balance

>Anon promised he wouldn't go so fast, but there is still no practical reason to look at the blurring scenery

>You shriek, in a journalistic way, as Anon turns the boat quickly and bounces from wave to wave

>It doesn't take long until you reach where ever it is that Anon is going and the engines shut off

>You look up to see the city has grown much bigger again and the sun gleams brilliantly off the glass buildings as it sinks into the water

>Anon emerges from over the upper deck and calls out to you

>"Just make yourself comfortable! I'll be down in a few!"

>You look up and nod to him before heading back inside

>The inside of the boat is just as wide as you remember and you check on the kitchen to see what snacks may be hiding

>Rummaging through the drawers finds you a few cookies and you munch them down

>Anon appears as you swallow your treat and smiles at you

>"Hungry, yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. What do you want for dinner?"

>"Ah, ah, I will be making this meal. What can I get for -you-?"

>You place your hoof to your face and think hard for the moment

"How about... hmm, hay fries and a garden salad?"

>Anon squints at you as if trying to read some fine print

>"Hay... fries?"

"Oh, guess you don't have those... um, tomato soup?"

>"Yes, now you're making sense."

>Anon steps around you and opens up the upper cabinets

>He pulls out a red and white can and looks it over before grabbing a second

>"You know, I have not asked and this may be important. Do you eat meat?"

>Your eyes cross a bit as you think about it

"No, never. Why?"

>"Just checking. Have you ever had it?"

"Nope, never. I have heard humans it eat thought. Are you... are you hungry for something like that?"

>"Not really, I have been working on cutting back so I didn't offend you."

"Oh, it wouldn't bother me. I mean... it's just meat, right?"

>"It is odd, the other few ponies I do know are rather skeptical of it. Though I know one guy who can't live without pepperoni anymore."

"What is that?"

>"A type of slightly spicy sausage. It is usually found on pizza or used in a sandwich. The pony friend of mine, Watts, had it with me when I ordered a pie without thinking about it."

>You consider this for a while as Anon prepares the stove top

>"Hey, you want grilled cheese with this?"

"Grilled cheese with soup?"

>"Yeah! They go together like... like peanut butter and jelly!"

"Wait, soup and PB and J?"

>"No, no, soup and grilled cheese!"

"Oh, OK, if you say so."

>You are a little distracted with the pepperoni thing still as Anon begins piling ingredients on a counter

>He dumps the soup into a pot and begins slicing cheese on to a plate

>Anon is exceptional with a knife, you think

"Hey, Anonymous?"

>"Hmm? What's up?"

"What's it taste like?"

>"Tomato soup?"

"No, meat? What does it taste like?"

>"Like meat, I guess? I don't know, there is a lot of different meat and even then, there are lots of different seasonings to make it taste like something else."

>Curiosity begins to take hold of your mind and your journalistic nature pokes into your relaxation time again

>Clearly, meat is edible and humans really like it, it would be wrong to visit some other country or world and not sample their food!

"Do you have any here I could try?"

>Anon looks up from his work and stares at you in an odd way

>"Sure, if you want too..."

>He opens the refrigerator behind him and fumbles around for something

>A white package flips from over his head and lands on the counter with a great, wet thud and Anon shuts the fridge

>"OK, here is what I have now. It is called, 'smoked turkey breast'."

"Anon, I know what a turkey is..."

>"Oh, excellent, wasn't sure."

>You had no idea you could eat turkeys, but this world is different after all

>Anon gingerly unwraps the package and you stare at the contents

>Perfect disks lay stacked on each other in a neat cylinder shape of white meat in the center and it almost makes you laugh at how much it does not look like any turkey you've encountered

>"Don't stress yourself about it though. I understand it would be an acquired taste at best."

>You watch Anon pick up a single disk, fold it in half and then put it in his mouth

>His sharp front teeth easily rip into the white flesh and he smiles lightly

"That good, huh?"

>"For humans, yeah. We do need a certain level of protein to maintain a healthy body. I guess we could eat nuts and beans, but, well, meat is just tasty stuff!"

>He quickly snacks on another piece before realizing how intensely you are watching him

"It would be... rude? Yes, rude to not try it."

>Anon shrugs and passes you the pile

>You lift a piece carefully in your magic and examine it

>You fold it like Anon did and sniff it once to find the scent of wood and spices drift up your nose

>Summoning all the courage of a columnist, you close your eyes and rip a bit off with your teeth

>It is cold on your tongue, but slightly moist and full of flavors you are unsure off

>You open one eye to see Anon staring at you with a concerned look

>A small laugh erupts from you as you swallow the odd meal and nod your head

"Hah, that's pretty good!"

>"You think so?"

>You pop the remainder in your mouth and chew quickly to ease Anon's fears

>"Well, help yourself to as much as you like."

>Anon leaves the package to you and returns to cooking

>It does not take long for the soup to be ready and Anon crafts two of the most beautiful grilled cheese sandwiches you've ever seen

>Meanwhile, you have eaten about seven disks of meat in the most journalistic way possible

>There is a certain something to meat that you find delicious, despite all other factors pointing to how gross it should feel

>"I see you are really enjoying that stuff. Main course is ready when you are!"

>You casually push the turkey to one side and find your seat at the small table

>Anon lays a bowl of rich tomato soup and plate of grilled cheese before you and you smile warmly

"Looks amazing, Anon!"

>"Thanks, I do try."

>Anon places two wine glasses on the table and nudges a pail of ice to one side

>"Do you drink wine?"

"What kind of question is that?"

>You scowl at Anon who should know better

"Of course I do! I even sent you a copy of my, 'Wine of the Month' membership card!"

>With a playful grin, you take the bottle in your magic and pop the cork

>Anon looks back at you and seems surprised

>"Hell of a magic trick... I need to use the screw myself!"

>You sniff at the bottle and take in the aroma

"Hmm, vintage stuff... yeah... Pinot Noir, definitely... I am thinking like... 1998."

>You take a swig straight from the bottle and Anon looks at you with an interesting smirk

>"You are excellent with your wines, Note. I've never met anyone so talent on a sniff alone."

>You lid your eyes at him and hold the bottle label forward

"I'm an excellent reader too, darling."

>A chuckle escapes you as Anon catches on and, before too long, laughs along

>"God, you're a peach."

>You pour Anon and yourself a glass before putting the bottle back in the ice

"Hehe, you're just saying that."

>"No, really, I've had so much fun these past two days. You're better than the letters ever stated."

"I feel the same way about you."

>Anon holds up his cup to you and smiles

>"A toast to good friends!"

"A toast!"

>You hold up your grilled cheese triangle and giggle

>He replaces his wine glass with his own half of sandwich and you tap the edges together while making a clank sound with your mouths

>Laughter fills the cabin as you withdraw and stare over the table

>Anon looks so nice in the lighting, you think and you sigh happily

>You begin eating and drinking as you speak freely of some of your adventures

>Your friend listens well and even asks questions now and then

>It must be an hour that you sit and talk and the only thing to stop you is when your find the bottle of wine is empty

>"Ah, that was a filling meal after all."

>You slump back in your seat and sigh just to make enough room in your stomach to breathe again

>You are feeling great or even better than great, you think!

>Anon stands up first and begins cleaning the table

>His shapely bum teases you a bit with his swaying and you could swear he's doing that on purpose

>"If you want to, you can take a shower first. Pump's not strong enough for two showers to be running."

>You smirk a little and you feel extra giggling

"Well, why don't we... we should save water, yeah?"

>A little giggle escapes you as you sway towards Anon

"Yeah, lets save water... take a bath with me."

>Anon looks down at you as you wrap around his leg

>"Note, are you drunk?"

"What? Pfft, no! I can handle my alcohol... I'm a big mare!"

>You drool a little between your smile and assure yourself that you are not drunk

>"Note, you got a little something... right there."

>Anon wipes the spittle from the side of your cheek and you take the opportunity to catch his hand in your mouth

>His fingers slip into your muzzle and you suck at them lightly

>He tastes as good as he smells and you bubble a bit

>"Note, I think you need to lie down."

"You're right... lets lay down on the couch tonight."

>"You never told me you were such a bad drinker..."

>Anon smirks at you and wipes his fingers on his shorts

"I have no problem drinking... it all goes right down, ha ha ha."

>The world tilts a little and you turn your head to make it even again

"Hey, Anon... I want to tell you a secret... come 'mere."

>You wave him over and he ducks lower

"Closer, it's a secret."

>"No one else is here to hear you..."

"Shh, shh, secret, come closer."

>He sighs and gets down to his knees

>Anon is about your height like this and you whisper in his ear

"Your butt's really cute in those shorts~"

>Another giggle pops from your mouth and you take Anon's strong jaw in your hooves

>A simple tug tilts his head up and you give him a nice kiss

>His breath is hot and he kind of tastes like soup still, but that's just half the fun of it!

>Anon suddenly pushes your shoulders back and holds you kind of roughly

>By Celestia, his hands feel warm!

"You come here often? Hehe."

>"Jeez, can't let you drink anymore..."

"What? I'm fine! Really... my skin feels a little hot though. Why don't you help me get out of this awful thing, yeah?"

>"You are wearing next to nothing, Note."

"I know... come on, Anon, help me take it off."

>Anon's eyes roll before he slips his hand down to your chest

>You let out a soft chuckle as he slips his fingers into your silky top and slowly works it up your body

>A little struggling helps you keep his hands on your body for that much longer, but he eventually wins and removes the top half

"Ah~! Thanks, Anon... I'm feeling better already. How about we get rid of the bottom next, hmm?"

>He doesn't express how much fun you know he's having, so you grin for him

>His fingers slip into the small bands that hold the bathing suit to your sides and you let out a moan

>The feeling of Anon's warm hands gliding down your thighs feels so incredible that you nearly moan a second time

>The silky bikini pulls and stretches around your butt and slightly slick mare parts, getting a bit damp in the process

>"Note, I think we should get you cleaned up and sleep off that wine."

>Anon carefully holds your clothing to one side between two fingers

"I think... you know what I think? I'll tell you what I think! You've got a nice butt..."

>You lightly grope Anon in his accessible position

>"Note... Noteworthy, this doesn't feel right."

"Oh, sorry, never did this to a human before. Should I go in circles or...?"

>"Not that! You're drunk, this isn't the Note I know."

"What? I'm still Noteworthy! I am -not- drunk... I'm just... just... OK, I'm a little tipsy."

>"A little?"

>Anon gives you a sexy, stern look and you reflect on your actions thus far

>You aren't really doing anything wrong, you imagine

>It's Anon's fault for wearing those shorts anyways!

>One more squeeze of his strong backside and you release him

"I am fine and it's fine if you don't think I'm fine because everything is fine."

>You cross your hooves over your chest and turn your nose up at Anon

>"I won't lie, you're cute when your stupid like this."

>You turn a single eye to him and smirk before letting your hooves down

"You're cute when you're playing hard to get."

>"Come on, lets get you cleaned up."

"Alright... Hey! You know what would be great?"

>Anon looks to you with an interested grin

"If you helped me get a first-hoof account of how big a human di-"

>You trip over the step-up and fall over yourself with a thump

>"Serves you right for being a terrible drunk..."

>Anon lifts you to your hooves and you grimace

"I'm not drunk! My equilib-erem is off! And I'm drooling because I'm tired! And I'm so horny because I'm... Oh, forget it, I'm drunk."

>"The first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem."

"What's the second step?"

>"Getting off the sauce."

"Pfft, as if! That stuff's good!"

>It takes a little while, but you do manage to shower and Anon even helps you with -most- of those hard to reach places

>He does leave his swimming clothes on the whole time and you think it's unsporting of him, but it is for the best or so he says

>You bundle up in a few towers as you dry off and Anon vanishes

>He returns quickly enough smelling like soap and wearing a pair of pajama pants, but no shirt

>It's nice to see he gave you that much in the end!

>"How're you feeling?"

"Like a mare trapped in a stall all winter."

>"I'll take that as an OK then?"

"Eh..."

>You remove the towels and flop yourself onto the bedding

>It's really soft and you snuggle against a pillow

>A solid, warm body suddenly slides along your back and you look over with a little surprise

>"You're a good friend, Note. I don't want to do anything we'll question later."

>You roll yourself over and wrap your hooves around his body

>His face points down towards you and you get lost in his shining eyes

"You dummy... pressing your body this close to me when you know I'm not feeling so good."

>"You know, Note, I think I might love you..."

>As if somep0ny poured a bucket of ice water over your head, you snap into reality

>Your heart thumps harder in your chest and you pant lightly against Anon's chest

"Y-you lo-"

>Anon's finger seals your lips and his gaze pierces your soul

>"Don't let it go to your head."

>His hand holds your face as if it were made for you and your muzzle angles upward to meet Anon's beautiful lips

>This kiss tastes much more minty than before, but that's just half the fun, you think

>You break the kiss first to look at your beautiful friend and wonder why fate has kept you apart for so long

"You better be here in the morning..."

>Your eyes close and you let Anon's body cool you

"... If this turns out to be a wet dream, I'll be so mad..."

>As Anon's arms hold you close to him, you nearly melt

>Your eye sees out the window into the sky and the moon is shining brightly over you tonight

>It may be the alcohol talking, but you swear you see Princess Luna's shadow on the moon

>Couldn't be, you think, you just need some rest after so much excitement

>You snuggle in closer and deflate your chest in the most content of contented sighs

>No more petals to pick, you think as you feel Anon's arms hold you tightly

>He loves me...