Office Elsa

Office Elsa by Anon

 

>>get up and get dressed

>>servants try to dress me, but I tell them to go clean something

>>immediately mobbed by advisers carrying documents for me to sign

>>each of them bark issues in my ear while we walk to my office

>>Arendelle has so many fucking problems

>>shipping union is threatening to strike, demanding higher minimum wage

>>what am I, made of money?

>>may as well approve it, better than pissing them off

>>generals want to discuss expanding territory

>>not interested in invading other lands

>>warmongering douche

>>poverty rate is increasing, need to create new jobs

>>no upcoming industries come to mind

>>need ideas for that

>>farmers union still don't understand that I can't make rain

>>or maybe I can, actually

>>need to make time to test that

>>could I just shoot some snow at a cloud?

>>advisers seriously getting in my personal space

>>can't think

>>grab papers from them

>>slam office door on them

>>freeze door shut

>>finally have a moment to run this country

 

 

>>in office

>>can still hear advisers outside

>>yell at them to please leave

>>get to work

>>my little spaz out decreased fish population in fjord

>>approve expedition to find new fishing spots while fjord population recovers

>>hear rustling sound

>>notice Olaf is in room with me

>>he's minding his own business, so I don't care

>>formal request by ruler of Southern Isles to meet for tea

>>probably wants to talk about "the incident"

>>"I must regretfully reject your request, as I am currently occupied with work."

>>or some shit like that, I'll have my speech writer make something up

>>feel tug on dress

>>Olaf wants to go skating

>>tell him I'm busy

>>say's "Oh, okay. Maybe later then?"

>>tell him yes

>>he goes back to doing whatever it was he was doing

>>know full well I'll be too busy later today to play with him

>>fell like a terrible mother

 

 

>>get back to work

>>see formal letter from army

>>figure it's probably that general asking me to approve "territorial expansion" plan

>>don't want to invade the neighboring smaller countries

>>open it

>>letter informing me of Marshmallow's promotion to Guard Captain

>>schedule time to attend ceremony

>>I don't spend enough time with my boys as it is, not missing this

>>next item is request of approval for public charity banquet

>>party is to benefit local orphanages

>>approved

>>hear sound

>>Olaf is trying to get a book off the shelf

>>poor little guy is too short to reach

>>get up and get it for him

>>"Thanks Mom!"

>>he proceeds to start reading

>>.... "Hey, Olaf. Still wanna go skating?"

>>"Okay!"

 

 

>>At Marshmallow's promotion ceremony

>>Got a front row seat to see my younger son fulfilling his dream of being Captain of the Guard

>>Olaf and Anna sitting beside me

>>Doors open to reveal Marshy

>>He walks down the isle in an elegant, yet powerful strut

>>I feel so proud

>>"Hey bro! Looking great!"

>>Dammit Olaf....

>>Marshmallow shoots a hard stare at his brother

>>Olaf sinks in his seat

>>Anna giggles. She seems to be amused by her nephews

>>I shoot her a hard stare

>>These two better not ruing Marshy's special day, dammit!

>>Ceremony goes off without a hitch otherwise

>>"Congratulations sweetie!"

>>"Thanks Mom. ... Please don't call me that."

>>"Sure thing, Captain."

 

 

>>OH SHIT!

>>Fell asleep at my desk

>>Drool all over important bill forbidding lumberers from encroaching on Sami lands

>>Wipe it off, to moderate success

>>Suddenly realize my crown is gone

>>Marshmallow must have it again

>>Confused as to why he keeps taking it

>>If he wants to feel pretty, I can just make him look like a beautiful girl

>>Eh, whatever makes him happy

>>Poverty issue

>>Sudden influx of immigrants wanting to live in the "Realm of the Snow Queen"

>>Flattering, but this means not enough jobs and housing

>>Put money into construction industry

>>Kill two birds with one stone

>>Window shatters

>>There is now a rock in the middle of my floor

>>"SORRY..."

>>Anna, you spaz

>>Ice up window

>>Get back to work

>>Couple of letters from potential suitors

>>Into the trash

>>No time for dating. Too much work to do.

>>Hear noise

>>It's Olaf screwing around with more books

>>Curious now

>>"Olaf, what are you reading anyway?"

>>Oh, well, I'm just studying on the history of our nation. And definitely our current international policies. See, since I'm the eldest Prince, I may one day be King, and I don't think the people would like me very much of I were an incompetent sovereign."

>>He grins at me in his big goofy grin

>>wut

>>"I see. ... Erm, carry on then."

>>Suddenly aware of my own mortality

>>Try in vein to imagine "King Olaf"

>>Brain collapses

>>Feel a strange combination of pride and dread

>>"Olaf, I'm going for a walk."

>>"Kay."

>>Leave the room and keep on walking

>>Not sure to where

 

 

>>Come to terms with the fact I have an heir

>>Return to office

>>Olaf has left

>>Pet back to work

>>Next item is a petition for me to create a snowman police force

>>Not sure about this

>>Need advice, but from who?

>>Anna, bless her heart, is not suited for decision making

>>Olaf... is busy studying

>>Marshmallow would be all too in favor, probably would ask me to give rise to his glorious new brothers and sisters so that they make lay siege to the world for the glory of Arendelle

>>Need balanced, down to Earth opinion

>>Get up and go to window

>>See Anna and Kristoff making kissy faces at each other

>>"Kristoff! Can you come to my office please?"

>>Mountain Man is taking his fat sweet time getting here

>>He shows up finally

>>Explain problem to him

>>"Hm, maybe you should try just a few at first. Just to get people used to the idea."

>>"I see. And what form should such beings take?"

>>He goes on long spiel about how they should be beautiful, graceful creatures that should be pleasing to look at, but are imposing none-the less

>>After about two minutes, he's still rambling

>>Don't have time for his ice sculpture fetish

>>"Um, yes, Kristoff. I think I get the point now. Thank you."

>>He leaves to go make out with my sister some more

>>Approve petition for test case

>>Note to self, have guards spy on Kristoff to make sure he's treating Anna right

 

 

>>A knock on the door

>>"Yes?"

>>"Deliver for Your Majesty."

>>Directly to my office?

>>Assume something is up

>>Another assassinaton attempt

>>Ready stabsicles

>>"Come in."

>>A couple of servants bring in a few boxes

>>Heart sinks

>>Not this again

>>"A few tokens of tribute from Her Majesty's various... admirers."

>>Suck it up and open the boxes

>>It's a bunch of gits fro a cult that has recently formed around me

>>Being loved is flattering

>>Being worshiped is creepy

>>Tell servants to take the presents to the "store room" behind the castle

>>The other folks in the castle have been complaining of a persistent chill

>>Perhaps my "fan club's" gifts can help warm the place up

>>Back to work

>>Again

>>I hate interruptions

>>"Hey Elsa!"

>>OH GODDAMI-Oh, it's just Anna

>>"Hey sis."

>>"So, as you probably know, well, of course you know. You are the Queen after all and it would be silly for you to not know."

>>Does she ever stop to breathe?

>>"There's a festival coming to town tomorrow, and it'll have all kinds of neat food and games and performances... It'll be great! You aren't busy tomorrow, right?"

>>"Not at all."

>>"Awesome! This is going to be great!"

>>Get hug

>>She leaves the room

>>Note to self: Taking the day off tomorrow

 

 

>>On the castle rooftop

>>Farmer's union wants me to make it rain

>>Don't know if I can do that

>>Time to find out

>>Spot a low hanging stratus cloud

>>Figure snow is frozen water and I can just seed the cloud with a spray of low density flurry

>>Ready... Aim... FIRE

>>Direct hit

>>cloud proceeds to... snow

>>Try this about 20 more times till arms hurt

>>On the final attempt, and about the 17th cloud

>>The final cloud proceeds to... snow

>>Goddamn specific magic

>>"To the Farmer's Union of Arendelle. I cannot make rain. Please stop bothering me over this."

>>Suddenly hear panicked chattering

>>Look down

>>Everyone on the castle grounds is covered in snow

>>See Anna and Kristoff crawling out a snowpile looking concerned

>>Smile sheepishly and yell "Sorry!"

>>dispell all the snow

>>Never should've left my office

 

 

>>In office

>>deciding over a bill to legalize the recreational use of cannabis

>>leaning towards no since the stuff is not limitless and we, as a country with an economy dependent on sailing, we need all the rope we can get

>>Suddenly hear screaming from outside

>>Oh for the love of God, what now?

>>Look out the window

>>See people backing away from several small vaguely humanoid figures

>>Run outside real quick to see what the hell

>>Kristoff is talking to... his troll family

>>Not these annoying bastards

>>To my eternal frustration, Grand Pabbie himself is among them for some reason

>>"Kristoff... You never told me you were bringing your family."

>>"Did I need to? They'll just be here for a few days."

>>One of the smaller ones jumps on my back and starts messing with my hair

>>"Oh Queenie dear, your hair is just a mess. We have got to do something with this. Tch tch tch."

>>Get off my hair you little jerk, it takes half an hour to get this braid!

>>gonna turn this little punk into an icicle

>>Wait, did he say DAYS?

>>"... Well, how nice. Have fun with that."

>>Barely able to keep up fake smile

>>shoo little rock spawn off my shoulder

>>"We will! Come on guys."

>>Share a glance with Pabbie

>>"Your Majesty."

>>Fuck you old man, your terribly vague advice cost me 13 years of my life

>>Seriously consider freezing him solid and throwing the body into the fjord

>>Decide against it, Kristoff, and by extension Anna would be sad

>>"Elder."

>>He walks off with the others

>>Never going to get any work done with these fools around

>>Suddenly reconsidering the cannabis bill

 

 

>>Break time

>>Fetch gourmet chocolates from the kitchen

>>Yummy!

>>Awesome idea: Invite Anna and Kristoff to join me for snack time

>>Problem: They are hanging out with the trolls

>>Would rather jump off the roof than spend time with those annoying idiots

>>Good thing I'm used to eating alone

>>Make way to dining room

>>Nice big plate of exquisite chocolates in hand

>>Can't wait

>>Enter dining hall

>>Anna and Kristoff are sitting at table

>>Panic

>>No trolls in site

>>Phew

>>Walk over to loved ones, flash them a smile

>>Anna rushing over for chocolately goodness

>>Suddenly a number of the the wretched fae rolls over, jumps up and grab my food

>>"Oo chocolate!"

>>"Delicious!"

>>"Is it snack time already?"

>>"Thanks Queenie!"

>>.... Oh no they fucking didn't

>>Anna starts giggling

>>Girl, this is not amusing

>>Kristoff smiles sheepishly

>>Note to self: Slap him later

>>Notice plate is starting to freeze over

>>Leave dining hall without a word

>>Kill them

>>No, don't kill them

>>Homicide is wrong

>>They will be my in-laws one day

>>Okay, yes, kill them

>>No murder

>>Fuck it

>>We can find other materials to make rope

>>Recreational use of cannabis: Legal

 

 

>>Back in my office

>>Plate of chocolates to myself

>>Chocolate is the only thing that can calm the rage

>>Back to work

>>Wildlife population is suffering

>>Too many wolves in the area

>>Local prey is dwindling

>>Approve limited hunting season on wolves until their numbers decrease to reasonable levels

>>Knock on the door

>>Pretend I'm not here

>>No patience left

>>"Elsa. Are you in there?"

>>Go away Anna, got work to do

>>"Elsa, I know you're in there. The frost is reaching out the door... Can we please talk?"

>>Look at the floor

>>Indeed, I have inadvertently frozen the floor

>>"Sigh.... Come in."

>>Anna enters and takes a seat

>>"Yes?"

>>"Elsa... I think you should spend some time with the trolls. ... Especially Pabbie."

>>wut

>>She cannot possibly be serious

>>"You cannot possibly be serious."

>>"Pabbie isn't the evil monster you think he is."

>>"I don't think he's a monster. I think he's a fool who ruined our lives."

>>Anna shoots me a skeptical look

>>Stay firm

>>Puppy dog eyes

>>That's just not fair

>>Damn you, Sis

>>"Fine. I shall... get to know them a little better."

>>She smiles, runs over and hugs me

>>"I've arranged for you to meet Pabbie at around 2:00. Have fun!"

>>Anna I know you mean well, but this is insa-

>>Wait, did she say 2:00?

>> GODAMMIT ANNA

 

 

>2:00

>The old bastard actually has the balls to be late

>...Do trolls have balls?

>How do they reproduce

>Never mind, don't want to know

>He finally rolls up to the pavilion

>Took him long enough

>Was he too busy ruining someone else's life?

>"Majesty."

>Elder."

>He takes his seat

>We both partake in some tea

>"..."

>"..."

>This isn't awkward at all, no

>"Elsa..."

>"... Yes."

>"I suspect you don't like me very much."

>You don't say?

>I mean, it's not like you ruined my life or anything

>"What makes you think that, Elder?"

>"I admit, that perhaps my advice to you and your parents all those years ago could've been a bit more clear."

>Again, no shit

>"It was a misunderstanding, Elder. The past is in the past."

>"But not for you, it isn't."

>"... I suppose not."

>"Your grudge against me shall do you no favors, Your Majesty. Your magic is a wonderful thing. Do not soil it with hatred."

>Sigh... oh, NOW you give good advice

>"I suppose you have a point."

>"..."

>"..."

>"How is your tea, Pabbie?"

>"Delightful."

>Discussed things for a bit

>Pabbie is surprisingly knowledgeable about trade unions

>"Pabbie, how do you know so much about the business world?"

>"I've been looking to invest in botany."

>Huh

 

 

>Tea with Pabbie was... nice

>Walking back to my office

>Sudden hear trumpets

>"MAKE WAY FOR PRINCE OLAF"

>wut

>Olaf is being followed by a beleaguered looking bunch of servants carrying trumpets and holding Olaf's train

>Oh what fresh hell...

>"Hey Mom, I have a great idea to repair trade relations with Weaseltown!"

>Barely able to keep from laughing

>Bless his little heart

>I gotta hear this

>"And that would be?"

>"Well, you see, Weaseltown-

>"Weselton, honey."

>"... Oh yeah, right. Weselton recently lost a bunch of its ships in a storm.

>"Yes, that nasty hurricane last month."

>"Uh huh. Now, what if, and hear me out here, we offered to graciously offer to use of some of our ships? Under our governments supervision of course. This way Weselton owes us a favor, and we get to trade with them again!"

>... Am i crazy or did that make sense?

>It's a bit cutthroat, but it's worth a shot

>"Hm, not a bad idea. Thank you, Olaf."

>"No problem!"

>"Oh, and Olaf..."

>"Yeah?"

>"Drop the pomp and circumstance, please."

>"Oh, okay. Sorry guys, but the ride is over."

>The servants could not have looked happier at that moment

 

 

>Office door in sight at last

>Can finally get back to work

>Hear advisers practically stampeding towards me

>NOPE

>Erect wall of ice to block them

>Can hear their delicious whining as I enter my office

>Sit down and pick up next item on the docket

>Need to rewrite tax code

>Too complicated

>Jeez, Dad, you could've dealt with this before

>Wonder if worrying about me and sis caused Dad to slip in his duties

>Shake it off

>Takes a while but it's finally simplified

>Fuck, even I couldn't fully grasp the thing at first

>Next item

>Local Sami population requests additional grazing land for reindeer, due to increasing population

>No available space currently exists

>No choice but to decline

>Kristoff won't like this

>Advise them to keep stricter control over reindeer birth rates

>Damn these chocolates are delicious

>Next item

>Petition from Marshmallow

>He wants to increase patrols around the fjords due to increased presence of illegal contraband

>Granted

>Next thin-

>... How can Marshy use a pen?

 

 

>>In my office

>>Deciding over a bill that will ban the use of leeches in medicine

>>Passing this one

>>What are we, savages?

>>Next item

>>Olaf's plan to allow Weselton temporary use of some of our ships in their shipping lines is going well

>>Problem: their sailors and ours are not getting along well

>>Recommend approval of party nights to improve mixed crew moral

>>Yay, parties make everything better

>>Next thing

>>Marshmallow reports that contraband issue is getting worse, with illegal drugs, weapons, and even animals becoming more frequent

>>He recommends more though inspections, extending to inspecting crew quarters

>>Grant him permission to do so only on official ships

>>Ransacking civilian quarters seems excessive

>>Marshy is becoming a bit overzealous in his new duties as Guard Captain

>>Note to self: Have talk with younger son and tell him to be less gung ho about his job

>>Next-

>>... Would Marshy himself be checking the ships?

>>How would he fit in there?

 

 

>>Next item

>>Security report

>>Local hunters have noticed activity in my ice palace

>>Marshmallow suspects it may be that really creepy cult that worships me squatting there

>>Thinking about those weirdos makes me shudder

>>Approve expedition by security teams to shoo them away

>>Good riddance

>>Hm, what to do with that place anyway?

>>No idea

>>Note to self: Ask Anna

>>Surely she could come up with something silly and fun to do with it

>>Maybe Kristoff wants it

>>Next item

>>Poverty rate is down since investment in construction industry

>>Good, it kills me to think some of my people don't have homes

>>Next-

>>Hear knock on the door

>>I hate interruptions

>>"Yes?"

>>"Your Majesty, are you okay?"

>>Huh?

>>"... Um, yes. Why?"

>>"It's 4:00, and you haven't retired to bed."

>>Look at clock

>>Oh shit, it IS late

>>Have I seriously been up all night working?

>>Well, nobody can accuse me of not caring about my job...

 

 

>>Security report

>>Cultists put up a surprisingly tough resistance but were eventually driven out of the palace

>>Most members there were captured, but a few got away and are being tracked

>>Investigation turned up several shrines erected in my "honor"

>>Floor was covered in magic runes

>>Apparently the cult was trying to replicate my powers

>>Seriously? Damn fools

>Do they not realize how dangerous magic can be?

>>They seemed to succeed to a limited degree

>>Fascinating, but still insane

>>They had used magic to carve out a basement in the palace

>>Hm. Wonder what they'd need a basement for

>>Report details they constructed a sex dungeon

>>....

>>many cultists and possible captives had been chained up and made to perform acts of debauchery "in the name of the Queen"

>>...

>>Grab ordinance document

>>"On this day, I, Queen Elsa of Arendelle decree that all activities if the cult known as the Order of the Snow Queen's Servants, are to be foiled and all members hunted down and arrested. Such groups are hereby outlawed from Arendelle for all time."

>>Signature

>>Call in servant to fetch ordinance

>>Desperately hoping Pabbie still has that memory spell

 

 

>>In my room

>>Not really tired, but Anna, Kristoff, Olaf, Marshmallow, and even Sven insist I get some sleep

>>No use arguing with them

>>Disrobe and pick up a book

>>A bit of a dull read

>>Figure I might bore myself to sleep

>>Doesn't work

>>Just lay down and close eyes

>>Still not sleepy

>>Can't sleep, too much work to do

>>SO BORED

>>Make little house out of ice

>>Want to make little people to live in it, but too hesitant to casually animate more living things

>>....

>>....

>>....

>>I can create life

>>What the hell?

>>Olaf and Marshy are people, and I made them

>>I call the both of them "son"

>>...

>>...

>>Now I'm never gonna get any sleep

 

 

>>Wake up in cold sweat

>>Had nightmare in which I raised an army of snow demons

>>Conquered nations and slaughtered the masses

>>Thank God it was just a dream

>>I am not a monster

>>The hell with this, may as well go back to work

>>Get up and walk towards office

>>Bump into Anna in the hallway

>>"Elsa! You are supposed to be getting some sleep."

>>"I know, but-"

>>"But nothing. I know you want to be a good Queen, and you are! But you'll never be able to run a country if you're dead tired all the time."

>>She's right

>>Sister may be a ditz, but she's wise enough

>>"Oh! I know! maybe some chocolate will help you get some sleep?"

>>Erm, maybe "wise" is a strong word

>>"Look, I just have a lot on my mind, and need a distraction right now."

>>"...And chocolate isn't distracting enough?"

>>... She's right

>>Again

>>How does she do that?

>>Time for a chocolate break

 

 

>>Sitting in the kitchen with Anna

>>Eating chocolate

>>Yummy!

>>"So *munch* wa on yo mi anywa?"

>>How to explain this?

>>Would Anna even understand such serious questions about the responsibility connected to the creation of life?

>>"Ther a pehiton *munch* ahing me to crehat a for of *gulp* snowmen to act as elite police."

>>"*gulp* Heh. My Nephews must be happy about that."

>>"They are, but I'm not keen on the idea..."

>>Looks at me skeptically

>>"Oh come on. It's not like you'll create an army of monsters or something."

>>But that's exactly what I'm afraid of

>>"... Which is exactly what you're afraid of."

>>Damn psychic ginger

>>"... Look, Elsa. If you feel like it's a bad idea, you don't have to do it. You are the Queen after all."

>>"But I have to do what's best for my people. And I don't know what that is."

>>".... You are not a monster."

>>What?

>>"What?"

>>"Not to be a jerk, but get over it already. You're STILL scared of your powers? Why? You can control them now. They don't control you, and they never have."

>>How dare she?

>>She doesn't know what those 13 years of hell were like

>>"And don't you tell me I don't know your pain or some nonsense. I was there for those 13 years, dammit!"

>>Suddenly feel tears rolling

>>She's right

>>Again

>>"Look. You are not a monster, so neither are any of your creations. ... So, just do what you think is right."

>>"...I ... think it's better to just increase the police force's budget."

>>Anna says nothing

>>She just hugs me

>>Return her embrace

>>Anna is possibly the best adviser I have

 

 

>>Next day

>>Inside security offices

>>Poor Marshy can't fit inside my office

>>I'd gladly make him smaller

>>He's a very prideful giant snowman

>>"Okay, so what is the problem exactly?"

>>"WE SUSPECT THAT WE HAVE DISCOVERED ONE OF THE LOCAL CIVILIAN SHIPS MAY BE A PIRATE VESSEL."

>>Note to self: next time you make a living being, get yourself into a mellow mood

>>Hopefully the next one would be so shouty

>>Marshy points to a sketch of on his equally enormous desk

>>"THIS IS THE 'RIDER OF RAINS', OWNED BY THE EAST INDIA TRADING COMPANY. ALL EVIDENCE SUGGEST THE SHIP IS BEING USED BY PRIVATEERS WORKING FOR THE COMPANY."

>>EITC again, eh?

>>Lovely

>>"And you think a full shakedown of the ship may yield evidence of the company's corruption?"

>>"CORRECT."

>>Everyone knows East India is dirty

>>Don't like the idea of raiding civilian ships

>>But I can make an exception to finally expose those crooks

>>"Very well, you have my permission to raid the ship. But be sure to exercise due restraint. No roughing people up or anything like that."

>>"UNDERSTOOD."

>>If he starts beating people up, I'm going to take away his flurry and make him stay on the mountain for a while

>>"Marshmallow. I mean it."

>>"... Yes mother."

 

 

>>On the docks

>>looking down at the "mysteriously sunken" wreckage of the Rider of Rains

>>Somehow not surprised

>>"SO UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S THE END OF IT."

>>"Clearly."

>>"WE ARE GATHERING CREWS TO SALVAGE THE CRAFT, BUT THERE'S SURELY NO CHANCE OF FINDING ANYTHING."

>>Facepalm

>>This incident will either embolden the EITC privateers or scare them off

>>The former seems more likely

>>Fucking pirates

>>Army of ice monsters is looking really nice all of a sudden

>>"Marshy."

>>"YES?"

>>Consider asking his advice on snow army

>>Maybe we could just fight the EITC head on

>>Never mind

>>I already know is opinion

>>"Stay vigilant."

>>"Hm. IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I'D TAKE A LEGION OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, AND CRUSH THOSE FILTHY CRIMINALS FOREVER."

>>Good thing it's not up to you, Marshy

>>I'm no war lord

 

 

>>Have traveled to the ice palace

>>Must be alone and isolated for this experiment

>>Been a while since I've been here

>>Lots of bittersweet memories here

>>Have to clear my head

>>Need to get into the right mood

>>Aggressive, but reasonable

>>Strong, yet calm

>>Think graceful, but imposing

>>Smooth, decorative armor

>>How many?

>>Let's try three for now

>>Weapons?

>>Sword and shield

>>A mighty spear

>>An great axe

>>Tall, but not huge

>>How to keep them from being monsters?

>>....

>>For the kingdom

>>For the people

>>Hold out my hands, and...

>>Let it go...

 

 

>>It's done

>>No turning back now

>>...

>>They aren't moving

>>"H-hello?"

>>Middle one perks up

>>"Your Majesty."

>>They all kneel

>>Instinctively straighten my posture

>>These knights expect their Queen to look the part

>>"You may rise."

>>They stand before me, looking graceful, yet mighty

>>The three of them have the shape of bestial humanoids, each with a prominent pair of tusks from the lower jaw

>>main bodies are snow, and they each wear crystalline ice armor

>>The middle one speaks with a gruff, yet eloquent female voice

>>"My Queen, we thank you for life, and thought. We shall pledge ourselves to your will."

>>Should be used to promises of absolute loyalty by now

>>This feels strange, and awkward

>>Must remain firm

>>"My will is to make the people of Arendelle happy. You shall assist me by acting as their protectors. You are my hands in matters of war."

>>"Then you shall have three strong hands to safeguard thy subjects, my Queen."

>>Sounds good so far

>>I can ease up now

>>"Excellent. What are your names?"

>>"We do not have names yet, my liege."

>>Well that won't do

>>Think a second

>>Got it

>>Point to middle gal, she's rough, yet sharp

>>"I shall call you, Shard."

>>She nods in approval

>>Point to one on the left, a male, he keeps darting his eyes around in apparent paranoia

>>Quite the shaky fellow

>>"You will be Shiver."

>>He approves as well

>>point to one on the right, another male, he is stiff, rigid and stoic

>>"And you, will be Spire."

>>He has no reaction

>>They all kneel once again in a show of fealty

>>Let's see where this goes...

 

 

>>In the courtyard

>>Have gathered Anna, Kristoff, Olaf, and Marshmallow

>>Oh, and the reindeer

>>"Everyone, this is Shard, Shiver, and Spire. They are the newest knights of the Realm."

>>Anna-"Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm your Aunt Anna!"

>>Why is Kristoff staring at Shard so intently?

>>... Dude, ew. She was just born

>>And you are dating my sister, you ass!

>>Anna notices this and lightly slaps him

>>Thank you Anna.

>>Olaf-Mommy, you made us brothers and a sister? AW this is the best day EVER!

>>Olaf runs up to hug Spire

>>Spire has no reaction

>>Marshy-WELCOME TO THE REALM OF THE LIVING, GLORIOUS SIBLINGS. TOGETHER, WELL SHALL KEEP ARENDELLE SAFE FROM ALL WHO WOULD THREATEN IT!

>>The trio cheer in agreement

>>Masrhy lifts them up in a hug

>>Shard... blushes?

>>... How?

>>Shiver desperately tries to get free

>>Spire has no reaction

>>Well, that went well

>>Now what to have these three do specifically?

 

 

>>In my office

>>Spring festival outside

>>Nice to see the people having fun

>>Trying to decide on new shipping policies

>>Setting up new security checkpoints just outside the fjord will hopefully counteract contraband issue

>>Smugglers will probably find new ways of getting through

>>Fuck my life

>>Hear knocking at the door

>>Already know who it is

>>"ELSA! You are missing the festival."

>>Dammit Anna, I'm trying to run a country here

>>"You can't run the country if you are stressed all the time!"

>>Damn psychic yellow-ginger

>>Maybe she'll go away if I just ignore her

>>"Don't ignore me. I know you're in there. We are not doing this you hiding behind the door thing again. It's gotten old."

>>Go away and let me work, woman!

>>Hear the lock jitter around

>>She's trying to pick the lock

>>Freeze the door shut

>>Faintly hear her offended complaining

>>"GASP! ....Oh no she didn't..."

>>Sorry sis, too much work to party

>>Next ite-

>>What is that burning smell?

>>Why is there water running under the door?

>>.... She's trying to melt the door open with a torch, isn't she?

>>Oh for God's sake....

>>"Oh fine, I'm coming."

 

 

>>In Marshy's office

>>"MY STEALTH AGENTS REPORT THAT THE DATE NIGHT WENT WELL. NO INCIDENTS."

>>"What specifically did they do?"

>>"WELL, APPARENTLY THEY WENT SLEIGH RIDING..."

>>Okay, that's harmless

>>Just a little sleigh ride

>>"THEN THEY WENT TO THE MOUNTAINS-"

>>The mountains?

>>But that could be dangerous

>>There are wolves there!

>>"-AND ENJOYED THE VIEW.

>>I've seen the view from the mountain

>>Stunning, but not worth the wolves

>>"THEY APPARENTLY TOOK CARE TO AVOID AREAS WITH WOLVES."

>>... Oh. Okay then

>>"AFTER THAT, KRISTOFF APPEARED TO PAT AUNT ANNA ON THE BUT-"

>>WUT

>>I will destroy you mountain man

>>I will turn you into an ice cube and throw your body into the fjord

>>I am merciful though, so I will send your fae family to join you in the depths

>>how fucking dare you take advantage of my-

>"-WHICH SHE APPEARED TO APPRECIATE, ugh gag me, AND THEY KISSED FOR A BIT. AFTER WHICH THEY RETURNED TO THE CASTLE."

>>....

>>....You may yet live mountain man

>"Thank you Marshmallow. That will be all for now. "

 

 

>>Hazy

>>Where the hell am I?

>>Come on eyes, open

>>Hear giggling

>>I know where I am

>>I'm at my desk

>>I remember now

>>I was at the Spring Festival

>>Never should've let Anna talk me into getting drunk

>>"Loosen up a little." she says

>>"Have some fun for once!" she says

>>Ugh

>>... Why does my hair feel weird?

>>What happened to my braid?

>>Get up and run to mirror

>>*GASP*

>>Cannot help but scream

>>"WHY DOES MY HAIR LOOK LIKE AN ONION?"

>>Rush over to Anna's room

>>Pretty sure I'm causing the hallway to frost over

>>Don't care

>>Pound on door

>>"ANNA."

>>... Nothing

>>"Anna, open the door."

>>If this girl doesn't open this door...

>>Door opens

>>"Urgh, morning, Elsa."

>>Point to my hair

>>"... Oh yeah, the festival was fun, wasn't it?"

>>"Why does my hair look like an onion?!"

>>"Ow, ow.... speak quietly, please."

>>"Explain, Anna."

>>"Explain what? You asked me to do that."

>>What?

>>"What? No I didn't!"

>>"Sure you did. I mean, you were a bit tipsy at the time, but..."

>>That's nonsen-

>>"Ugh, Anna, you reek of booze."

>>Suddenly remember getting drunk and asking for a makeover

>>Wanted to be the prettiest princess in the world

>>....

>>...Never touching alcohol again

 

 

>In throne room

>Meeting subjects today

>Always nice to see the people

>First up, a land dispute

>Two neighbors fighting over whether a tree is encroaching on the other's property

>Plaintiff wants to cut it down

>They start bickering right then and there

>Yell at them to shut up

>They comply

>These two are like children, I swear

>"The tree will be trimmed so that it no longer hangs over the fence. Agreed."

>They agree

>Can't go Solomon on every issue

>Next subject

>A local botanist complains of insect infestation in the gardens

>Wants me to use my powers to freeze them to death

>... Sigh

>1. I'm not going to use my powers so flippantly

>Some people, honestly

>2. Does she not realize that will kill the flowers too?

>Even Anna would notice the hole in that logic

>Not that Anna is stupid or anything

>Just saying

>Recommend expert I know of who can give a good recipe for pesticide

>Next

>... Oh, this should be good

>"Yes, Olaf?"

>"Um, well, could I borrow some money please?"

>"You need a new carrot, right?"

>"... Yes."

 

 

>Next subject

>A local store owner from the foot of the mountain

>"Greetings Your Majesty!"

>Oof! That's mighty thick accent there

>And a slightly disturbing smile

>"I would like to expand my shop, but I require a bit more land to do so."

>Slightly distracted by the sheer size of the man

>He looks like he could lift his store over his head

>Seriously, what did this guy eat as a kid

>"Erm, yes."

>"I object, Your Majesty."

>Suddenly notice normal sized man standing next to shop owner

>Presumably the landowner

>"I have explained to him before that I have plans to set up a supply shack on the land he desires."

>Giant shop owner has yet to stop smiling

>"Besides. I have heard some rather negative press from a several of his customers..."

>His customers?

>Interesting...

>"You've been talking to your tenant's customers?"

>"Well, a few of them, yes."

>Is the shop owner seriously still smiling despite hearing evidence that his landlord may be harassing his customers?

>... Okay then

>"They have reported that he is in fact, a crook."

>A crook, uh?

>Questionable

>Better ask-

>Oh! He stopped smiling

>"What did you call me?"

 

 

>Back in my office

>Had to stop a fight while meeting with subjects

>Rather not think of it

>Too brutal

>Shiver suddenly walks into room

>"News, my Queen."

>Hello, how are you....

>Nice to see you, Mother...

>Either one would do

>"Have positively identified small narcotics operation. Require warrant to raid location."

>"Last time I checked, your brother had the authority to clear such an operation."

>"... Brother?"

>Oh no, this won't become at all tedious...

>"Marshmallow."

>"Indeed. However, leader of drug ring is minor noble. Best not to take chances."

>I know he doesn't breathe, but he could stand to take a pause

>Seriously, he talks like an alien

>Write up official search warrant

>Shiver takes the document

>He bows, checks the room and leaves

>Awkward

>Regretting not making them more sociable

 

 

>>In my office

>>deciding on whether to approve search parties to seek out rumored fae habitats

>>becoming friends with fair folk could be of great use

>>It would also be nice to meet other magical people...

>>Think I'll fund thi-

>>Hear noises outside

>>Get up and look out window

>>Trolls are playing outside

>>Using Olaf's head as a ball

>>Harassing horses

>>Kristoff desperately trying to get them to behave

>>"You know what we should do?"

>>"I do!"

>>"We need to get the Queen a man, honey!"

>>Kristoff-"What? No. Look, stay out of the Queen's love life please."

>>...

>>Go back to desk

>>Expeditions cancelled

>>The fair folk are best left to themselves

 

 

>>Out in the courtyard

>>Hanging out with Anna

>>Eating ice cream

>>How apropros, if predictable

>>Anna has ice cream all over her mouth

>>Silly girl

>>But brave and loyal n one the less

>Hm, wonder if I should assign her to an official position

>>Adviser

>>her last administrative decision was to leave Prince Hans in charge

>>She's surprisingly athletic

>>Maybe she could train to be in the Royal Guard?

>>... Nah. I can't see her solving mysteries

>>Ambassador?

>>She's pretty good at talking to people

>>No, too trusting for that

>>"Elsa!"

>>"Yes?"

>>"Your ice cream is falling."

>>"Oh, sorry, just lost in thought."

>>"Oh, and I think you forgot to pick up those reports from before. Just thought I should mention that."

>>... Hm

>>Personal assistant, maybe?

 

 

>>In my office

>>Anna walks through the door, short of breath

>>"Okay, I here's the new stack of bills... letters... and a cup of tea."

>>"Thank you."

>>She's been doing this for two weeks now

>>So far so good

>>Figure this PA job should get her more used to being around politics

>>The princess ought to become acclimated to such an environment after all

>>Either way, she makes a decent cup of tea

>>Next item

>>Fishing guild lobbying for increased budget due to fish returning to normal habitats

>>Approved

>>Glad to see my freezing a small chunk of the ocean had no permanent effects

>>"Hey Elsa."

>>Yes, Anna?"

>>"I thought you simplified our tax code."

>>Why did I think I could fix the country's tax issue in less than an hour?

>>"I thought that too..."

>>"Hm."

>>Next Item

>>A request for new sleigh for the Royal Ice Master

>>Form submitted by Princess Anna

>>Look over

>>Anna smiles sheepishly

>>Approved

>>"Anna, stop wrecking your boyfriend's sleigh."

 

 

>>In the dressing room

>>Getting ready for the day

>>Anna reading me my schedule

>>"Okay, so you have the monthly public address at 8:00-"

>>Still obviously nervous during public speehes

>>Have to work on that

>>"-a meeting with several of the nobles at 8:30-

>>Looking SO forward to chatting with a bunch of stuffy old men for an hour...

>>"-9:30 you start office work."

>>Good, I like my office

>>It's nice and quiet

>>Well, except when Anna does something silly

>>"-at 11:30, you have a visit with the nice folks at the fishing plant. Now remember, we have it set up so that you can cut up some fish for a bit."

>>...

>>"Oh come on, it's just fish. It'll be fun!"

>>Smelling like fish for a week is "fun" now?

>>"Pfft. Anyway, at noon, you have to-"

>>"-bathe thoroughly-"

>>"-before you meet with the land owners association to discuss area expansion plans."

>>That reminds me

>>"I also-"

>>-need to settle that dispute between Oaken and his landlord. We have you set up for a 12:50 meeting for that."

>>"Thank you Anna. I must say you make an excellent assistant."

>>"Oh, thanks. I've been up at nights practicing. Haven't slept in days!"

>>...

 

 

>>In my office

>>Next item

>>...

>>Wait no

>>That's all my documents and bills for today

>>Have nothing else to do today

>>Hour left

>>Guess I'll go hang out with Anna

>>No wait, she's out on a date with Kristoff

>>Olaf is studying like I told him

>>Marshy is probably busy

>>...

>>Well...

>>What books do I have that I haven't read?

>>None, read them all

>>What are the name of those ball desk things?

>>Make one of those with ice

>>....

>>....

>>Nope, still bored

>>Generate a big pile of snow

>>Better not make a snowman directly or I'll end up with another kid

>>Door opens

>>".... Elsa. You're making a snowman without me?"

>>Awkward....

>>Can only smile sheepishly

 

 

>>In my office

>>Next item

>>Security reports

>>Spire reports that there is possible previously unknown fae activity to the east of the forest

>>Will make sure to ask Grand Pabbie about this

>>Hm, Spire has surprisingly eloquent handwriting

>>Marshy's agents have arrested a group of thieves believed to be members of a local thieves guild

>>Good work from him as usual

>>Just hope he hasn't decided to perform one of his "enhanced interrogations"

>>My special agents report that Kristoff has been a good boyfriend to Anna

>>They had a fight recently, but made up shortly after

>>Fight was apparently over Kristoff's refusal to stop picking his nose on such a frequent basis

>>Agents say he does not do it that much and Anna was merely overreacting, appearing to be in truth frustrated with his overall uncouth behavior

>>Kristoff claims he should not have to conform to royal standards so quickly

>>At this point in the report the agents begin to disagree on which party is in the right on this matter

>>Note to self: Have a chat with Kristoff and make sure for myself that all is well between the two

>>Afterwards, I need to have a chat with my agents to tell them to stop bickering and get back to spying on my sister's boyfriend

>>....

>>It now occurs to me this idea may be slightly paranoid

 

 

>>On the mountain

>>Outside the ice palace

>>"Anna! Wait!"

>>"Come on, sis, you're lagging! LET'S MOVE."

>>Running around on the mountain seemed easier when I was panicking

>>Though I didn't have to jump through hoops and leap hurdles

>>The ducking under log swings are new as well

>>No sense complaining

>>Two separate assassination attempts on the same day

>>Knocked out by chandelier falling next to me

>>Unacceptable

>>Finally made it to the shooting range

>>Anna-"She's here Kristoff, start it it up!"

>>Kristoff-"Got it."

>>Kristoff activates simple mechanism for moving targets

>>Send icicles into targets

>>Hit 8 out of 10

>>Not good enough

>>Must work on improving aim

>>Suddenly a large impact

>>Look towards noise

>>Marshy takes an offensive stance

>>"Marshamllow?. What are you doing?"

>>"THIS WAS AUNT ANNA'S IDEA."

>>No, that was Kristoff's idea

>>"What? One of your creations could go crazy and you might have to fight them."

>>...

>>"...It was Kristoff's idea."

>>Thought so

>>The mountain man smiles sheepishly

>>At least Anna got herself a smart one

 

 

>>In the hallway

>>On the way to my office

>>Need to make decision on important bill

>>This cannot wait

>>Several trolls in the hall blocking my office

>>Of course

>>"Elsa! Honey we need to talk."

>>No, I need to get in my office

>>"I'm afraid I haven't time to talk, Bulda. Excuse me."

>>"Sure you do. Now listen, you're the Queen-

>>Thank you Bulda

>>Your fae wisdom is mindblowing in its usefulness

>>"-and the Queen needs to marry eventually."

>>No she doesn't

>>"So we need to get you a man."

>>No, you need to move aside so that I can decide whether the emerging merchants guild would ultimately be beneficial or cause even more problems

>>"I have no interest in romantic endeavors. Excuse me."

>>"No interest? What could be more important than love?"

>>Oh I don't know, the dissatisfied mercahnts awaiting news of the future of their livelihoods?

>>"Stop bein silly. We've already got a couple of suitors lined up!"

>>What?

>>"Come with me and I'll show you some letters."

>>This presumptuous fae dares attempt to foster my love life without my consent?

>>Enough of this nonsense

>>Stomp

>>Hallway partially freezes over

>>"...."

>>"...."

>>"Excuse me. I need to get to my office."

 

 

>>In the ballroom

>>meeting with foreign delegates

>>"Queen Elsa, you look lovely this evening. An honor to meet you at last."

>>"T-thank you ambassador. I don't usually dress up like this."

>>Don't blush you idiot, it was just a compliment

>>Though this new ice dress is a little... much

>>"Is that dress really made of ice?"

>>"It is."

>>A member of the Southern Isles ambassador's party joins in

>>"I hadn't realized you had such fine control of your abilities."

>>"You'd be surprised what you can do with geometry."

>>Of course, having powers that react to one's emotional state helps...

>>"What else are you capable of, pray tell?"

>>Well, I can freeze over my own country by accident

>>"Hehe! I bet she could conquer nations if she wanted to. Good thing we're allies of Arendelle eh?"

>>The two laugh

>>...

>>They have a point

>>I could do that

>>But I won't

>>"I don't know, after the incident with Prince Hans, Arendelle may be seen as weak."

>>....

>>Is that so?

>>"Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet someone. Oh Marshmallow, could you be a dear and meet with some of our allies please?"

 

 

>In the hallway

>Time to start another day of work

>Looking forward to my tea and truffles

>Should probably stop eating chocolate in the morning

>"Morning Mom."

>"Good morning, Olaf."

>"I was wondering, how do my arms work?"

>... How do his stick arms work?

>What, did I infuse snow into them or something?

>"I'm not sure."

>"Okay. Maybe Aunt Anna knows..."

>... Doubtful

>Speaking of Anna...

>"Hey sis! I got your tea and truffles right here."

>Ah, sweet nectar!

>"Thank you, Anna."

>"Morning Elsa."

>... Not sure I like this first name basis, mountain man

>"Kristoff."

>Also not sure I like you putting your hands on my sister like that

>"Kristoff, honey, I'd love to cuddle, but I have to help Elsa with stuff."

>"Okay... But I will see you later!"

>"Yes you will!" *giggle*

>Well, I'm going to vomit now

>Thanks for that, you two

>"Oh, Elsa, I will be right back. Forgot some papers."

>She's always forgetting something or other

>We need to work on that

>"Hey Mom."

>"Yes Olaf?"

>"What do you think their sex life is like?"

>.......

>.......

>OH GOD MY BRAIN

>"That is nobody's business but their own."

 

 

>>In the library

>>"This, Anna, is Arendelle's immigration policy. Due to our country's egalitarian attitudes, we do not run people away for reasons such as race, sex, or creed."

>>"Not that you'd be able to tell..."

>>What is this silly girl on about?

>>"Excuse me? Have you somehow failed to notice that nobody here has any objections to a female sovereign?"

>>"I was talking about the... limited color palette."

>>...

>>Please tell me she isn't going there

>>"Anna, we simply have a low immigration rate, and most people who move here are from nearby nations, which also have primarily white populations."

>>"Yes, but that doesn't do any favors for our international image."

>>Having more foreigners move here will improve our reputation abroad?

>>What is she talking about?

>>"How, pray tell?

>>"I think what Anna is trying to say, is that the low immigration rates make it look like nobody wants to live here, and it may be costing us valuable economic expansion."

>>"Exactly! Thank you Olaf."

>>When did Olaf get here?

>>Why are these two suddenly making legitimate points?

>>What just happened?

>>"Erm... well, I suppose we could put more stock into our tourism industry to bring in some extra profit."

>>But the only notable tourist attraction... is me

>>I have too much work to do to be a sideshow attraction

>>"... Why are you two looking at me like that?"

>>"... Oh fine. I .... suppose I can make time to put on a show."

>>Dammit, this sucks

 

 

>>In my office

>>Reviewing various proposals for tax reforms

>>Some are good, most are clearly written by corrupt officials

>>Greed can be found everywhere is suppo-

>>Sudden flash of pink light

>>"Greetings, Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Ice to meet you!"

>>... There is now a fairy hovering before me

>>Small, human looking, insect wings and all

>>That's new

>>"Seriously, how cool is it to finally meet the Snow Queen herself?"

>>And slightly annoying

>>"First time meeting a fairy, huh? It's snow big deal. My name is Pixewillow, and I'm here to put a smile on your face, you special snowflake!"

>>Oh I've had enough of you

>>Sharp inhale

>>Sharp exhale

>>Irritating fae begins to shiver from effects of ice breath

>>"Hey, what's with the frosty attitude, Your Majesty? Just chill out."

>>....

>>"Okay, okay, I'm going! No need to give a gal the cold shoulder."

>>"OUT."

 

 

>>In the town square

>>I make my entrance

>>A crowd of tourists before me

>>They've all come to see the legendary Snow Queen

>>So nervous. but this is to bring in much needed revenue

>>All for my people's welfare

>>I see my family up on the balcony

>>Anna waves me luck

>>I can do this

>>The music starts up

>>Just... let it go

>>Start off with a few flurries, freeze the fountains to give them a taste

>>The crowd murmurs in curiosity

>>Place foot on the ground

>>The square floor freezes into an ice rink

>>Begin ice skating routine, construct dancing companions to join me in the dance

>>They aren't alive, only puppets

>>The crowd is impressed now

>>Good, now that I have their attention, a few more tricks before the big stuff

>>Make a pair of ramps opposite each other

>>Two back up dancers ascend the ramps and jump them, spinning in the air and landing perfect tens in unison

>>That took ages to practice

>>So relieved it paid off

>>A few more minutes of ice skating tricks go by

>>For the finale, construct a small tower in the middle of the rink and skate up to the top via spiral ramp

>>The music finishes

>>The crowd applauds, clearly impressed

>>I can feel the big stupid smile on my face

>>I could get used to putting on a show

>>It was fun

 

 

>>In the dining hall

>>Having dinner with Anna and Kristoff

>>Anna is blathering on about something or other

>>Kristoff clearly just pretending to listen

>>Hm

>>Rude

>>Uncouth

>>talks to himself using a reindeer as a medium

>>Creepily obsessed with ice

>>What does she see in that man?

>>"Kristoff."

>>"U-Huh, yes?"

>>"How goes the harvest?"

>>"It goes well. Although..."

>>Oh here we go with this crap again...

>>"Some of the workers feel that their jobs are a bit... redundant these days."

>>I am running a nation here

>>I don't have time to spend all day making blocks of ice when there is plenty of natural ice already in existence

>>"Yes. I've heard."

>>"Honestly, I think it's nonsense. I'm tired of hearing them whine about that. Not like you're the Queen or anything."

>>"Indeed."

>>THANK YOU

>>... You're alright mountain man

>>Though I still plan to dispose of you should Anna become displeased with you

>>For now, she has herself a decent man

 

 

>>In my office

>>"Anna. Take a letter."

>>She readies a sheet of paper and a pen

>>That was much quicker than last time

>>She's improving

>>"Dear Prince Hans of the Southern Isles..."

>>Anna stops and stares at me, confused

>>You heard me, keep writing

>>"... I Queen Elsa of Arendelle have decided to partially forgive you for your transgressions against me and my family."

>>Anna stares at me again

>>"I'm sorry, what? You aren't serious? Right?"

>>Motion to her to keep writing

>>She complies, with hesitation

>>"As proof of my sincerity, I have enclosed a gift within this box. It is a rare and valuable thing which I'm certain you will enjoy for as long as you live. Once you open it, you shall know how much I mean to say that I forgive you. Sincerely, Elsa."

>>Anna finishes the letter and hands it to me

>>Seal it to assure it is genuine

>>I tie it to the box and call a servant to send it away at once

>>Just as the servant leaves, I can hear a faint voice coming from the box

>>"This is so not cool you frosty bitch! You stuff me in a box and ship me off? That's just cold!"

>>Anna doesn't seem to hear it though

>>"Elsa! He tried to murder us both! An you're sending him gifts? What is wrong with you? Are you drunk again?"

>>"I assure you Anna, I know what I'm doing. Hans will love his new friend."

>>"Friend? ... Elsa. What's in that box?"

>>Just smile and assure her that all is well

>>Goodbye, Pixiewillow

 

 

>>In my office

>>Looking over reports from scouting agents

>>Have decided to reconsider my stance on fae

>>Have agents search for fae activity and report back

>>We must avoid any potential incidents such as the troll shenanigans... or Pixiewillow

>>Shudder

>>Latest report

>>Scouts report sightings of other fairies to the South

>>So far, none seem to be obsessed with hideous puns

>>Thank God

>>Next report

>>Eastern parties report a small civilization of short statured humanoids

>>They seem peaceful and keep to themselves

>>May also not technically be fae

>>Only thing otherwise of note is an incident in which one of these short people displayed a tendency to ask an endless stream of inane questions

>>These short folks may be a nice people to meet with

>>We will have to be sure to avoid the annoying one though...

 

 

>>In the stables

>>Ready to go horse riding with family

>>Well, some of us are taking horses

>>"Here Olaf. You can ride with me."

>>Olaf jumps up and sits in front of me on the horse

>>He's so cute!

>>Look over to Anna and Kristoff

>>They have mounted the reindeer

>>Which I'm certain has a name

>>"Hungry boy?"

>>The reindeer answers with a... whatever sound reindeer make

>>Kristoff feeds him a carrot

>>He then proceeds to take a bite of the same carrot

>>...

>>Wait, what?

>>Ew!

>>You kiss my sister with that mouth?

>>That's disgusting!

>>"Um... Kristoff. Is that sanitary?"

>>"Hm? Oh, yeah, Sven's mouth is perfectly clean."

>>Look over to Anna

>>She can only offer a look of apology in response

>>"Let's get going."

>>Why must you make me question you all the time, mountain man?

 

 

>>In my office

>>Have received a letter

>>Anna reads on

>>"Dear Queen Elsa of Arendelle. We are surprised, but pleased that you have forgiven our brother Hans for his crimes against you and your kingdom."

>>Anna chuckles a little

>>Oh I can't wait for this

>>"In particular-"

>>She chuckles again

>>Come on, keep reading

>>"-your gift has brought him (and us) much quality enter-*giggle*-much quality entertainment."

>>*chuckle

>>"Pixewillow the Fairy has gotten along quite well with Hans, and the two can often be heard arguing like an old married couple, death threats and all."

>>We both can barely hold in the laughter at this point

>>Anna keeps reading

>>"Pixiewillow has given Hans such affectionate nicknames such as 'Prince Charmless' *snort*, Pretty Doy-"

>>Ugh

>>God, that one was bad

>>Where does she get this from?

>>"-and Genghis Hans."

>>....

>>".... Wow. No wonder you got rid of her like that."

>>"I will not tolerate such sorry displays of bad humor in my domain."

 

 

>>Ugh

>>Where am I?

>>I'm in the forest?

>>Yes

>>But how did I get here?

>>Wait, I remember

>>I was going horse riding with my family

>>Wolves attacked

>>I was separated from the group when we tried to retreat

>>Fell down a ravine

>>But it was daytime when this happened

>>How long have I been unconscious?

>>I'm such a fool

>>I let my fear defeat me again

>>I should've used my powers to fight them off

>>No use cowering

>>Must find the others

>>No

>>I'll make my way back to the castle

>>Anna, Olaf and Kristoff will have headed back there and called a search party

>>... If they made it back at all

>>It's so dark here

>>I can barely see

>>The moon is not the best light source

>>...

>>What was that sound?

 

 

>>There's the sound again

>>It sounds like footsteps

>>Several footsteps

>>....

>>Can't see a damn thing

>>What I wouldn't give for a lantern

>>....

>>I can still hear them

>>They know I can hear them

>>They continue stalking me regardless

>>My small frame may not make much of a meal

>>They don't care

>>They will take what they can get

>>....

>>I can't even tell if I'm going the right way

>>I can only pray

>>And walk

>>....

>>I wish they would just attack already

>>If the damn beasts want their meal, they should just come and take it

>>Though if they do make the attempt, they will go hungry

>>I will not allow fear to defeat me again

>>I spent thirteen years locked up in my room

>>I'm happy now for the first time in forever

>>I WANT TO LIVE!

>>"Come on you mangy bastards! Just come out and face me!

 

 

>>There they are

>>A pack of at least eight wolves emerge from the woods

>>They surround my position, forming a circle

>>There are likely more waiting in the trees

>>The beasts stare at me, waiting for the slightest sign of weakness

>>I will deny them that weakness

>>....

>>....

>>Two in front pounce at me

>>Form wall, blocking them

>>They hit themselves on the construct

>>Two from behind

>>Form spikes in front of them

>>One is grazed in the side, stopping it

>>The other still advances

>>Shoot a salvo of spikes at it

>>It is impaled in through the leg

>>Two from the sides attempt a flanking attack

>>Form a pair of barriers to block them

>>They've become wise to this tactic and each jump over the barricades

>>Quickly form barrier around myself

>>The attackers have no time to adjust and collide with the shield

>>They retreat back to positions

>>They still surround me, still ready to fight

>>Stubborn beasts

>>"ENOUGH."

>>Stomp the ground

>>A collection of pikes form in a shockwave radiating from my position

>>Some of the wolves are hit, bleeding from their wounds

>>Now they've had it

>>The pack retreats, deciding I'm not worth the trouble

>>Victory

>>....

>>But I still need to get home

>>...

>>Another odd sound

>>More opponents?

>>No

>>It's a voice, several in fact

>>"ELSA. WHERE ARE YOU? ELSAAAAAA."

>>....

>>I know that voice

>>Anna, thank God

 

 

>>"ANNA! OVER HERE."

>>"ELSA!"

>>Anna comes running to me

>>I run to her

>>We embrace

>>God, do hugs feel good right now

>>"Elsa, I was so worried. Are you okay? Are you hurt.

>>"I'm fine, Anna."

>>Suddenly notice the search party behind her

>>A medic walks up and examines me

>>"I'm just fine, Doctor."

>>"I agree, just a few cuts and bruises. Nothing serious."

>>Nod in approval

>>Anna is still crying

>>Realize she's been crying for a while now

>>"... Anna. Let's go home. Poor Olaf must be worried sick."

>>Another sound

>>"MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYY!"

>>Can't help but smile

 

 

>>In my office

>>Looking over some bills

>>Anna filing documents

>>"Elsa. Are you... a god?"

>>....

>>Anna...

>>That's a stupid question

>>"No. I am not a god."

>>"Then how do you explain where your powers come from?"

>>Don't know, don't really care

>>"It doesn't really matter. I am the way I am and I'm fine with that."

>>Spent too long worrying about that

>>Time to move on

>>"... Maybe you're a frost giant?"

>>... Okay. I'll play your game

>>"At around 5'8, I'd be the shortest frost giant ever. My fellows would reject me. Oh woe is me."

>>Don't you give me that look, you were the one who decided to be a smartass first

>>"Oh! I know, maybe you're some kind of Winter spirit?"

>>"Then there must be three others like myself. Surely my Autumn counterpart and I would get along swimmingly."

>>She's starting to lose patience now

>>I turn my chair to face her

>>I can keep this up as long as you can, strawberry

>>"Personification of the elements."

>>"I act too human for that."

>>"Demi-god."

>>"Unless Father and Mother were gods, doubt it. And why aren't you magic as well?"

>>"Non-evil demon."

>>"I seem to have no trouble walking on holy ground."

>>"Snow fairy."

>>"No fae is that powerful."

>>And how dare you equate me to the fair folk

>>"Valkyrie."

>>"If I were, wolves would like me more."

>>"Maybe it doesn't matter and you'd rather just live your life being you?"

>>Now she's got it

>>"Precisely, you were the one who taught me that lesson."

>>Smiles are exchanged

>>"Now get back to work."

 

 

>>In the courtyard

>>On break

>>Reading a nice book

>>Absolutely loving this so far

>>What will happen next?

>>"Heeeey Queenie!"

>>....

>>Oh dear God kill me now

>>"Hello, Bulda."

>>"So, about those letters..."

>>Is romance all you ever think about woman?

>>"Come on~ I got em right here~"

>>"As I explained before, I have no interest. Thank you for your concern though."

>>"... I just don't get you, Elsa."

>>At last, something we have on common

>>"Well, what'cha reading?"

>>Oh, I'm so glad you asked

>>"Oh, it's called A Midsummer's Night's Dream. It's about an overly complicated love story , and the meddling fae that complicate things even further through their unwelcome presence."

>>Bulda's warm smile fades into an annoyed frown

>>The so called "love expert" takes the hint and rolls away

>>Metaphorical troll tears are such a rare and scrumptious delicacy

 

 

>>In the theater

>>Watching a production of Romeo and Juliet

>>This is not one of the Bard's better works

>>But Anna and Kristoff insisted I join them

>>They seem to think I'm overworked

>>Fine, but I'd rather watch Richard the 3rd

>>Marshy is here too, in the back row

>>The poor dear can't fit in the balcony

>>He looks so bored

>>Can't say I blame him

>>Anna and Kristoff seem to be enjoying themselves

>>As are the trolls, naturally

>>Leave to those fae to prefer the least interesting of Shakespeare's works

>>....

>>Hm?

>>What's going on in the other balcony?

>>.... Is that man holding a crossbow?

>>Oh not this shit again

 

 

>>Form ice wall over the balcony

>>The crossbow bolt stops, just penetrating the wall

>>"MARSHMALLOW. THE OTHER BALCONY."

>>He has already caught on and leaps toward the assassin

>>I didn't know he could jump like that

>>"Elsa, look out!"

>>I turn around to see Anna has knocked out a second attacker

>>She's a lot stronger than she looks

>>Turn around

>>See Marshy holding the first assassin in hand, squeezing him into unconsciousness

>>Suddenly notice the actors on stage have drawn crossbows as well

>>Juliet takes the first shot

>>Block it with another barrier

>>Being up here is endangering Anna and Kristoff

>>Take off cape and form a slide to get on the stage

>>The actor assassins take aim, waiting for me to let my guard down

>>I deny their opportunity and position myself so that they are facing away from the audience

>>Notice Marshy sneaking up from behind the attackers

>>His footsteps quiet due to being made of snow

>>Romeo moves to the side, hoping to flank me

>>Form spikes to his side to block him

>>Juliet takes the chance to throw something at me

>>Form another barrier

>>An explosion knocks me aside

>>A bomb? They have bombs?

>>Marshy has grabbed Juliet

>>Juliet shoves a bomb in his arm, taking it off

>>The explosion frees her, but Marshy uses his remaining arm to punch her, knocking her out

>>Romeo fires a bolt at me

>>Roll over to dodge it

>>Get up and retake stance

>>The audience has evacuated at last

>>Let loose with a salvo of spikes

>>Romeo is hit in the arm, and the leg, and the shoulder

>>Both "actors" now on the ground, defeated

>>Victory

 

 

>>"You okay Marshmallow?"

>>He nods in confirmation

>>"Here, let me fix that."

>>I restore his arm

>>Good as new

>>Marshy starts yelling at his subordinates

>>"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? AND WHY WERE YOU ALL SO USELESS IN THE FIGHT?"

>>"Deepest apologies sir..."

>>"APOLOGIES NOTHING. MAKE YOURSELVES USEFUL AND ESCORT THE PRISONERS TO THE DUNGEON. I WANT TO KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE AND HOW THEY MANAGE TO INFILTRATE US."

>>Those guards are going to see Hell for this

>>"Elsa, you okay?"

>>"I'm fine, Anna."

>>Well, except for having to see your boyfriend's drooling over me

>>Stare at something else, mountain man

>>"I cannot believe someone actually tried to kill you, AGAIN! What in the actual hell?"

>>Why indeed?

>>First the Duke of Weselton sends his goons to kill me

>>Then Prince Hans tries to kill me

>>Then a pack of wolves tries to kill me

>>And now Romeo and Juliet try to kill me

>>Such is the life of a Queen, I suppose

>>...

>>I pray these battles will cease at some point

>>...

>>I'm stating to enjoy fighting...

 

 

>>Just outside the ice palace

>>The breeze is lovely

>>The snow is thick

>>And the view is gorgeous

>>Almost makes me feel like singing

>>Alas, I've work to do

>>...

>>My guests have arrived

>>They think I can't hear them

>>They are incorrect

>>A small blizzard to decrease visibility

>>They make their approach, there are four of them

>>Now for the fun part

>>I determine their locations

>>Form giant hands from underneath them

>>My would be assassins are caught off guard, now helpless in my grip

>>Dissipate the blizzard and reveal myself, Marshy, and my soldiers

>>"Evening gentlemen. Why are you on my mountain?"

>>They do not answer

>>I squeeze them in in my claws, evoking squeals of pain

>>"I tire of these frequent assassination attempts. Who keeps hiring mercenaries to kill me?"

>>Squeeze them again

>>"WHO?"

>>"We don't have anything to say to you, witch."

>>"Then I suppose I will have to feed you to my snowman."

>>Marshy plays along and licks his lips

>>The mercenaries appear afraid now

>>Marshy approaches them, looking starved

>>"The East India Trading Company! They want you dead because you're a threat to their operations."

>>"I thought as much."

>>Drop the hired killers and leave them to the soldiers

>>These fools were nearly defeated by a bunch of pirates once

>>If they want a war with me, they will lose

>>Say Marshmallow. How's a trip to Britain sound?"

 

 

>>In bed

>>Sweet dreams of rabbits and bears made of snow, frolicking in the drift

>>Time to get up

>>"Oh. Good morning Anna. What are doing in my-AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

>>No

>>No not again

>>She's frozen solid

>>When did-

>>Why did-

>>Anna...

>>I'm so sorry

>>The door opens

>>"Good morning Elsa. Do you like the statue? That ice sculptor does such great work. "

>>.....

>>Oh you little BITCH

>>Wipe the tears from my eyes

>>You will pay dearly for that, little sister

>>The next day

>>In my office

>>Send for Anna

>>She enters

>>"AAAAAAAAH! KRISTOFF."

>>"Hello Anna."

>>"Elsa, what have you done to Kristoff? .... Why did you freeze him? You really ARE a monster...."

>>The door opens

>>"Anna! Are you okay? I heard you screaming, what happened?"

>>Anna stares at her precious beau

>>Looks back at me, furious

>>"No need to worry, Kristoff. Anna was just admiring the ice sculpture of you that she totally asked for."

>>Anna wipes the tears from her eyes and shoots me a hatful look

>>Kristoff looks on, confused

>>I eagerly await her revenge

>>Let the games begin

 

 

>>In my office

>>Anna and Kristoff are off on date night

>>Eating dinner alone

>>Used to it by now

>>Servant brings my meal

>>Looking forward to a nice hot cut of fish

>>"Thank you..."

>>Servant sets down the plate

>>I notice the fish is not only raw, but frozen like it was right out of the ice box

>>Open my mouth to ask the servant what the hell

>>She hands me a letter and leaves

>>.... Kay

>>This is should be good

>>"Dear Elsa, I'm sorry Kris and I won't be able to join you for dinner. However, I have asked the chefs to prepare your favorite dish. Everyone knows how you like your food nice and cold. Enjoy. Love, Anna :3"

>>Desk frosts over

>>Oh, it's going to be like that is it?

>>You know not who you trifle with, dear sister

 

 

>>In my office

>>Time to revue today's agenda

>>Generals report that the campaign in Weselton is nearly complete

>>Marshy has personally captured the Duke

>>Apparently he begged for his life like the pathetic worm he is

>>A shame I wasn't here to see that

>>Next item

>>Complaints of the snowmen acting strangely has become very common among the troops

>>Hm

>>"Hey, Mountain Man."

>>"K-kristoff, Your Majesty."

>>"Whatever. Take a letter."

>>My personal assistant sure looks nice with no shirt

>>Anna had good taste

>>... Not a lot of common sense though

>>"Dear General Westermark, Please inform your troops that the snow soldiers are designed to battle the enemies of Arendelle, and nothing more. Any 'strange' behavior from them is due to either simple individual quirks (as my creations are living beings) or the result of the human soldier's imaginations. Please do what you can to foster good report among both kinds of soldiers, as the siege of the Southern Isles is to begin soon. Signed, Your Queen, Elsa."

>>Kristoff finishes the letter and has it sent off with my seal

>>I will have my vengeance on the Southern Isles

>>You will meet your brother again soon, Prince Hans

>>They will join you in the dungeons fro all time

>>...

>>Look over at the mirror

>>...

>>My hair doesn't REALLY look like an onion

>>Does it?

 

 

>>Sitting atop my throne

>>Reading some letters and reports

>>General Westermark reports that inter... species? relations are slowly improving

>>The solution was simple enough

>>A weekly party night was implemented to give the troops something positive to look forward to during campaigns

>>Fighting for one's Queen and country can be draining

>>Next item

>>My spies in the Southern Isles report that the King is growing paranoid and is slowly increasing his military budget

>>He knows that once Weselton falls, he is next

>>Excellent

>>You will pay for your brother's insolence

>>Next item

>>Marshy reports that the Duke is surprisingly resistant to his interrogation techniques

>>He asks permission to employ his special equipment

>>Granted

>>Next-

>>"Hey, mountain man. You call that dancing? Move those hips more!"

>>....

>>Yes...

>>That'll do nicely

>>... What was I...

>>Oh right, the reports

 

 

>>Sitting atop my throne

>>My hunters report that they've found another fae habitat

>>They believe it is the hiding spot of Grand Pabbie himself

>>Excellent

>>I shall arrange for transport to the area as soon as possible

>>I'll bring Olaf and Marshy along with me

>>Olaf loves to play with trolls

>>He says their heads make for exquisite bowling balls

>>Marshy likes it when the horrid little rocks squeal when you set them on fire

>>Fire doesn't kill them

>>But they feel it

>>Next item

>>Several fishing businesses have devised a solution to the issue of local population decrease

>>The idea is to set up farms for breeding foreign specimens

>>Hm, sounds good

>>Approved and given a starting budget

>>I will have to divert funds from military operations

>>Eh, the army can just take what money they need from Weaseltown nobility

>>The nobles won't be missing it, not where they're going

 

 

>>Trekking through the forest

>>Hunting those damnable trolls

>>Marshy and several of his best men accompany me

>>Have constructed large snow wolves with icicle teeth and claws

>>The largest of the pack serves as my mount

>>...

>>I love magic

>>"Your Majesty! Over there!"

>>The guards have spotted one of the rock creatures

>>We give chase

>>Form giant blades to carve through the tress

>>Yes, roll as fast as you can

>>You will not escape

>>Two of the snow wolves flank it, cornering... her?

>>Form clawed hand from the ground and grasp the little fae

>>A tiny little squeeze, just to get the point across

>>Oh! There's that defiant look I hate

>>This one won't talk

>>"Marshmallow. Your device, please."

>>Marshy was thoughtful enough to bring his cute little troll torture device

>>Essentially a sphere designed to hold one troll and several pints of boiling wax

>>".... I'll take you to Pabbie's cave."

>>Ah! There's that defeated look I love

 

 

>>Outside the fae leader's hiding place

>>The scouts have returned from recon

>>They report that the trolls are indeed within

>>"ABOUT TIME WE FOUND THEM. MEN, PREPARE TO STORM THE CAVE."

>>Hm, what a wonderful idea, Marshy

>>Walk into the cave

>>Form a small blizzard within the cave as my troops enter it

>>No need for subtlety

>>Hear worried murmurs

>>They know we're here

>>Good

>>"Grand Pabbie.... SHOW YOURSELF AND PAY YOUR DUES FOR RUINING MY LIFE!"

>>...

>>Pabbie walks out into the middle of the chamber

>>He has some honor at least

>>Form tiny cage around him

>>"Your Majesty..."

>>"Save it, old man. You caused me to live in fear of myself, when I could've been happy, I could've been... a better sister. Anna would still be alive if it weren't for your terrible advice. It's too late for 'Sorry'."

>>...

>>Why is he smiling?

>>"Your Majesty. It is too late for both of us

>>Glowing runes appear all over the cave walls

>>Suddenly can't move

>>"What are you doing, you old bastard?"

>>"Showing you a better result."

>>Can vaguely hear Marshy and the troops yelling

>>Can fell myself floating above the ground

>>A flash of light

>>....

>>....

>>Suddenly find myself staring into my own face

>>wut?

 

 

>>...

>>...

>>Well, this is new

>>"H-hello?"

>>"Hello..."

>>My doppleganger grabs my chin , turning my head to inspect me

>>She smiles in apparent approval

>>"I see what happened. That clever little stone man.."

>>"I-I'm sorry, are you... me?"

>>"Yes, apparently. You and I are counterparts from separate universes. We are each a different possibility."

>>...

>>Magic is really weird sometimes

>>"Right, so, how-"

>>"Nice courtyard you have here. It's missing a certain prince being pelted by villagers though."

>>She means Hans, doesn't she?

>>Have to admit, that is tempting

>>What am I thinking?

>>That's crazy

>>Oh great, in another reality, I'm a crazy tyrant

>>"Why would I do that exactly?"

>>"Revenge, of course. Oh please don't tell me that this version of me went soft. Or, wait, did you not-"

>>"Hey Elsa, There you are I was looking all... over..."

>>"Elsa, are there two of you?

>>Other me just stares at Anna

>>I think she's about to cry

 

 

>>Sitting atop a chair in my alternate universe counterpart's office

>>... Yeah

>>"So, um... Elsa, I mean, other Elsa. You come from a parallel reality in which our lives turned out differently? Am I getting that right?"

>>Nod

>>"And you were sent here due to a magical experiment gone wrong?"

>>Nod

>>That is true

>>Kinda

>>In the sense that I was experimenting with different ways of making trolls feel pain and was interrupted

>>"Ooookay then. Well, welcome... Elsa. Make yourself comfortable, and you two can get to know each other while Kristoff and I go get Pabbie. ... Wait. You two are the same person, how would you get to know each other?"

>>Kristoff grabs Anna and leaves the room, looking annoyed

>>How odd to see him not being a broken man

>>Look over to other me

>>She stares back

>>Her eyes and face seem so kind

>>... Attractive, even

>>That's narcissistic

>>Like she's actually happy

>>How unfair

>>"... Your Anna is dead, isn't she?"

>>"Yes."

>>"... I'm sorry. I knew the feeling at one time."

>>"You had 'the incident as well?"

>>"Yep."

>>...

>>...

>>Well, this is awkward

>>In any case, how's your Arendelle?"

>>"We've managed to get along quite well as a peaceful nation."

>>"I see. I'm in the middle of conquering Weselton."

>>"... I see."

 

 

>>In my office with the other me

>>Never going to get used to that

>>Letting her help me look over some things

>>For some reason I'm sure makes sense to someone

>>"Heh. You actually legalized the recreational use of cannabis?"

>>Best decision I ever made since the trolls practically moved in

>>"Yes."

>>"Why? Our economy depends on sailing. We need all the rope we can get."

>>"We can use other materials for rope. Plus, sometimes alcohol doesn't quite help with the stress."

>>But the pot certainly does

>>"Stress? What stress?"

>>"I have inadvertently allowed our in-laws to stay here in the castle."

>>"In-laws? You mean the trolls? You let those horrid fae LIVE here?"

>>"Yes. ... Although, I sometimes wish I could just... send them somewhere."

>>"The the bottom of the Fjord, you mean?"

>>Can't even bring myself to answer that

>>How did she even-

>>Oh right, she's me

>>"You know... trolls do have hearts... just saying."

>>...

>>Okay, how does she know THAT?

>>Actually, I don't want to know

>>...

>>I always figured I'd be more subtle about being evil, honestly

 

 

>>In my office, well, her office

>>Looking out the window

>>Anna is outside playing with her boytoy and his wretched fae family

>>They have yet to find a way to send me home

>>...

>>She's so... happy

>>"How did yours manage to survive? It was that act of true love thing, right?"

>>"... Yes."

>>I see

>>Even in this world, it was my fault

>>"Anyway. What's on the agenda?"

>>"Actually, I was thinking about taking the day off. Maybe spend some time With Anna."

>>...

>>Is this bitch taunting me?

>>"You should join us. You know, while you're here."

>>"Fine."

>>I don't actually remember what Anna likes to do

>>Maybe she can tell me herself now that she's suddenly burst through the door

>>"Anna! The other me is going to join us on our day off today."

>>What?

>>I didn't agree to that you cow!

>>"Great! The only thing better than my big sister, is TWO big sisters!"

>>....

>>Dammit

>>I can't say no to that

 

 

>>E-Out in the field

>>OE-Out in a field somewhere

>>"So what is it you all do out here?"

>>"Well, I rather enjoy putting on a show. We both like to 'let it go' on occasion, correct?"

>>OE-I can only smile at that

>>OE-I almost forgot that logically, we share the same powers

>>E-Hopefully she'll lighten up if she has a bit of fun

>>E-Well, fun that doesn't involve torture

>>"You know what's a lot of fun? A war game."

>>E-...

>>E-I really should've seen that coming

>>OE-What to make?

>>OE-Something, strong and fierce

>>OE-Something to teach the other me what it means to be Queen

>>OE-Form a group of ice soldiers

>>OE-They take the form of an armored skeletons wielding polearms and short swords

>>OE-Anna should enjoy this little show

>>E-She wants to challenge me to test my steel

>>E-Very well, I didn't expect to fight her so quickly but...

>>E-Form a group of my own snow soldier constructs, each wielding polearms and large shields

>>OE-Attack vs defense

>>OE-This is gonna be fun

 

 

>>I my infernal office

>>Reading suggestions on new tortures

>>Marshtaroth suggests dipping subjects into vats of liquid nitrogen

>>How to tell him we already do that?

>>The poor dear isn't the most creative sort

>>Hear a knock on the door

>>"Come in."

>>Door opens, Annaphar walks in

>>"Hey, Elsabub, I got those papers you asked for. Oh, and I think Olafatos has gotten out of his cage again."

>>Again?

>>Oh well, as long as he beats up a few souls, it's not too big a deal

>>"Thank you. We can deal with that later."

>>Annaphar takes her seat and sifts through papers

>>Back to work for me

>>Next item

>>Workers at the torture pits are asking for increased pay, citing exemplary work as of late

>>Kristomalius has sent a letter recommending I deny this request, citing it will make me seem soft

>>....

>>I don't like you chasm man

>>But you make a decent point

>>Pay raise denied

>>...

>>Why do I pay these people again?

>>I'm the Devil

>>Note to self, permanently cancel all salaries

>>Next item

>>Ooo!

>>A bunch of new souls have come in

>>And they're fae souls

>>Trolls, specifically

>>It's just like Christmas!

>>I must punish these new souls personally

>>"Annaphar. I'm taking a quick break. Be right back!"