- You are a Super Hero
- Scratch that, you are THE super hero
- Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and all that pre-crisis jazz
- You're also a gigantic asshole
- Hey, being raised by a couple of shitty hippies after your rocket crashed into their hole in the ground commune, you'd be one too
- Sure theres the whole "with great power" nonsense, but why not have some fun with your plethora of powers?
- Wouldn't have been able to afford that mansion if you didn't walk through walls and occasional lift some cash
- You didn't really have a costume, just some boots, jeans and a t-shirt with the anarchy symbol on it
- The press took to calling you anonymous, and you just rolled with it
- 'Anonymous foils Intergang bank heist!'
- 'Anonymous saves people from burning building!'
- 'Anonymous stops suspicious tidal wave from destroying nude beach!'
- You had even attracted the attention of Earth's mightiest heroes, The Just Us League or some crap
- Mr Dead Parents, Fish Guy, Wonder Lesbo, Hawkeye Ripoff and Marvin The Martian had even shown up in Metropolis and tried to recruit you
- That went south when you actually called them those names instead of just thinking them
- Didn't know the bald green guy was a telepath
- Doesn't matter, you're pretty sure Linda Carter was giving you bedroom eyes the entire time
- BACK TO SUPERHEROICS
- You're back in Metropolis, naturally swimming in bitches as women orgasm and pass out just from you flying by
- Bald Cancer patient businessman challenges you with his latest lego robot of the week
- Ranting and raving about 40 cakes the entire time
- Well whatever, time to kick his ass, maybe pants him afterwards
- Bet it'd be pretty funny if he was hung from a lamp post with a dildo up his ass
- Robot explodes
- Charlie Brown is sitting in the center, face comically black from smoke
- You're about to administer a wedgie when he pulls out a blaster, and shoots you point blank
- ....
- ....
- ....
- You slowly open your eyes and see a brick ceiling?
- "What in Equestria is that?!" screams a... pink p0ny?!
- Looking around, you see many more ponies, including a group consisting of a pink, purple, white, orange, yellow and cyan
- that is being closely guarded by what appears to be...
- You have no idea what they hell they are, but they're black, with insectoid wings and they're clearly threatening the pastel horses
- Pastel horses that can talk
- While you're trying to wrap your head around that, a loud screech brings your train of thought to a screeching halt
- A large bug hoers, towering over both other bug hoers and pastel hoers alike, narrows her eyes at you
- "One of Celestia's guardians no doubt. GET HIM!"
- The swarm of bug p0nies turn their attention towards you, advancing from all sides
- Civilians in danger? A bitchy super-villain with a voice like nails on a chalkboard about to thrown disposable minions your way?
- This was some Power Ranger level shit
- And it was gonna be fun
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Super Asshole Anon
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