Pastebin launched a little side project called HostCabi.net, check it out ;-)Don't like ads? PRO users don't see any ads ;-)

Untitled2 sec ago
Untitled2 sec ago
Untitled2 sec ago
ser_13875034787441 min ago
Untitled24 sec ago
Untitled25 sec ago
SUPPORTER33 sec ago
Untitled29 sec ago

Psychotic Anon in Equestria 7

By: Duke_Of_Derpy on Apr 30th, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 16.80 KB | hits: 340 | expires: Never

download | raw | embed | report abuse | print

Text below is selected. Please press Ctrl+C to copy to your clipboard. (⌘+C on Mac)

>Alice sat under the tree outside Rarity’s shop, enjoying the warm summer day. She noticed the light grey mare walking towards her.
A: Hey Derpy Hooves.
>’Hey Alice.’ Derpy says ‘Where’s Anon?’
A: He is still working inside. He said for me to wait out here for you.
>Derpy sits under the tree with Alice and pulls out a small radio.
>’You don’t mind if I play some music?’
A:No, go ahead.
>Derpy turns on the radio.
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALhbC27LABU&feature
>Derpy and Alice start to sway with the music and Derpy starts to softly sing. Her normal boyish sounding voice suddenly angelic.
====================================================
Fading Away,
Into the light of day.
Morning has come,
Only in grey.
I’ll never let go,
Of this memories glow.
Happiness falls,
Sends me deeper into sorrow.
=====================================================
>Alice is almost brought to tears as she finishes the song.
>’I glad you liked it. Lucky Anony wasn’t here. I get nervous around others.’
‘Don’t be too sure.’
>You hang yourself upside down from the branch of the tree, a smile on your face.
>Derpy’s face went immediately red.
‘Oh crap…I’m sorry Derpy. I was just sitting here when I heard you come along. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
>’It’s okay..I-I-I just don’t really sing a lot. Most p0nies wouldn’t like it.’
‘Derpy, you sound beautiful. It reminded me of my life back home. It just makes me sad to know all you can think about singing about sadness.’
>’I don’t think of it as a song of sadness. I see it as it is, the song means when life seems to lose its lustre, don’t let go of your memories. I actually wrote it after the town was attack last year. What were you doing in the tree?’
‘Oh, you know…’ you start to swing back and forth ‘Just hanging around.’
>You smile as Derpy giggles.
>’You’re silly Anony.’
M:Acting like a monkey…
A:Silly Monkey.
>you try to jump out of the tree, pulling off a triple sal-cal with a twist.
>Instead, you land on your face.
M: Oooo, the king of the belly whackers…
‘I think I broke my pride.’
>Derpy gives you another giggle and you pick yourself up. You both walk towards your house to have tea and fresh baked muffins.
>’How was work?’
‘Urgh… I have to go back to Canterlot with Rarity to help her with her fashion show.’
>’Then why not just tell her you don’t want to go?’
‘Well, somep0ny called Snooty Patooty-‘ Derpy and Alice giggled ‘-Set up an art exhibition for my wood carvings. I have been told I “must attend this exhibition dahling”. I mean, I like my work, but I don’t like to show it off. It’s a way for me to cope. It’s like your singing.’
>’But you are actually talented. I can’t sing.’
‘Either we agree both of our arts are good or neither are.’
>Derpy is visually distraught.
>’ Do you really think I can sing well?’
‘Of course. You may be clumsy at times, but you have a magnificent singing voice.’
>You finally arrive outside your small shack of a house. Unlocking the door you let Derpy in first, and follow behind.
‘Shall we take the stairs or the slide?’
>She gives you a massive smile.
‘Of course. Why do I even bother to ask?’
>You pull the lever to the side and the staircase flips down to create a slide. Some say this was a stupid invention. You say they can go home to their homes without a slide and think about how foolish they are.
>Derpy slides down first, and you are soon to follow. You both hit the bottom, laughing like mad. It’s only when you calm down, do you notice you are lying on top of Derpy.
>’Anon?’ she whispers
‘Yeah…’
>’You’re hurting my wings.’
‘Shit sorry…’
>you jump up and immediately help Derpy up. You both walk into the kitchen and you turn the kettle on.
‘Umm…Derpy. There was something I wanted to talk to you about.’
>’Hmmfnmmm’ she said with a muffin in her mouth.
‘I wanted to know, do you like me as a friend, or more?’
>’Like best friends?’
‘Or special somep0ny like?’
>She stared at you, her eyes going straight.
>’Anon…I only like you as a friend.’
‘Oh thank god.’
>’Pardon?’
‘No, I mean I love having you as my friend. You understand what I go through every day. Hell, you can literally see the crazy in me. I just don’t want to lose this.’
>’Anony, we will always be friends.’
>you pour some tea for yourself and Derpy, and take a bite off muffin.
>’So when do you leave for Canterlot?’
‘Tomorrow morning, so I need to finish off “Insane P0ny”. You want to help me out?’
>’Yep yep yep!’
‘Okay, after we finish our snack.’
>you both sip at your cups of tea, and talk about how work has been. Derpy tells you about the weird clock maker from town, a brown colt with an hourglass as a cutie mark. You had only spoke to him once before. He never really made much sense, but what did you know. You are a human in a land of p0nies.
>After some delicious tea, you walk Derpy up the stairs of your house and towards what you have labelled your backyard. In it sat wooden statues of different sizes, of all different designs. You had a few animals that Fluttershy was most gracious to help you out with, a few artistic carvings of the three races of p0nies doing their thing. After a large drinking spree with Rainbow Dash, you carved a Pegasus puking. But your most recent one was of a p0ny representation of yourself.
>It was an earth p0ny with a unicorn and a Pegasus sitting on top of it’s head. You had to re-carve the tail on the earth p0ny, it wasn’t coming out like you wanted it to.
>’So, what do you need me to do?’
‘Keep me company while I whittle.’
>’Sounds easy enough.’
>you start to etch more curves into the p0ny’s tail, giving it more life, Derpy starts making funny faces. You start to chuckle.
>As her faces get grander, so does your laughter, until you crack up laughing and have to stop.
‘Derpy…Derpy stop. I think I’m going to bust a rib again.’
>’Even after a week?’
‘Yes. You are that hilarious.’
>’What do you want to talk about then?’
>You start working again.
‘Well…How about your cutie mark? I mean how does bubbles relate to muffins and mail?’
>She gives you a weird look.
>’What doesn’t it have to with it?’
‘Fair point. Want to guess what my cutie mark would be?’
>’YAY! Muffin!’
‘Crocodile.’
A: Strait Jacket
M: A donkey with a dunce hat.
>’What does that mean?’
>Alice snaps a hand over Mark’s mouth.
‘He’s calling me a dumb arse for fighting the minotaur.’
>’Well you were pretty stupid.’ Came a voice.
>You turn to see Rainbow Dash gliding down from the clouds above. You give her a quick bro hoof, and she gives Derpy a hug.
>You remember how all this came about. After leaving the hospital, you had a drink with Dash, and she drunkenly went on a tangent that you wouldn’t have gotten hurt if it weren’t for that clumsy mail mare. After about an hour of this, you had had enough and walked out. Dash followed you, complaining you were acting weird and you snapped. You spun around and grabbed Dash by the throat.
‘You ever say another mean thing about Derpy, and I will make what I did to that minotaur look like a slight scratch compared to what I will do to you.’
>She looked at you with fearful eyes.
>’M-M-Mark?’
‘Nope, still me. Tomorrow, you will see Derpy Hooves and you will give her a hug. If you don’t, I will make sure no p0ny can find you. One of the pleasures of being an omnivore.’
>You drop her and walk off. In the morning, you realised what you did. When you tried to find Dash and make up for it, you found her hugging Derpy. You tried to apologise for what you did, but she said it doesn’t matter.
>’I realise that I shouldn’t be so prejudice against other p0nies.’
‘You realised how soft her coat is?’
>’I know right, I don’t know why you don’t like hugging her, she is so soft and cuddly.’
>Your mind flashes back to reality when Rainbow starts to wave a hoof in your face.
>’Hey, Equestria to Anon? You in there bro?’
‘Huh…Sorry, zonked out for a second.’
>RD:’Derpy says you are going to Canterlot.’
‘Yeah…Rarity needs help and she set up an art exhibition for me.’
>RD: ‘That doesn’t sound so bad.’
‘Dash, it’s one thing to sell my art locally. I can appreciate it or have others appreciate it. But I don’t like large crowds. It makes me feel….’
>You shudder at the thought.
>D’Why don’t you like crowds,Anony?’
‘I don’t like close contact with anyone. Hugs are fairly bearable once in a while, but being surrounded by others gets me nervous.’
>RD:’Dude, you have people living in your head! That’s fairly close.’
‘They are me. It’s different.’
>RD:’ Whatever man. Do you have a photographic memory or something, cos that statue is fairly creepy.’
>She points her hoof to the statue of her puking.
‘Yeah, I seem to do my best work drunk.’
>RD: ‘Speaking of which, go out drinking tonight?’
‘Yeah, might as well get drunk before I leave. Same time, same place?’
>RD: ‘Damn straight.’
>Dash gives you a bro-hoof and hugs Derpy again, and shoots off.
>You finish up the p0ny’s tail fairly quickly, and sign the base.
‘How’s it look?’
>’It looks so real.’ Derpy touches the p0ny’s face.
‘Thank you. You right to fly home alone?’
>’Yep yep yep. See ya Anony.’
>She flies up and gives you a headbutt.
‘See ya Derpy.’
>You go back inside and have a shower before you go drinking with Dash.
>The rest of your night is filled with knocking back drinks with Dash, and listening to how soft your hair feels. You decide to call it a night, not wanting to wake to a hangover and listening to Rarity complain.
>You sat across from Rarity on the train ride up. You were fairly uncomfortable in the seat, and Rarity was more concerned with fantasising about her fashion show and being around high class p0nies than with how you really felt. It wasn’t until she looked up, did she see the discomfort in your face.
>”Dahling, what is wrong?’
‘Hmm let’s see. I am in a p0ny sized train on my way to an exhibition for works that I am quite embarrassed about, with p0nies who are so stuck up their own flanks, they can actually hear a shit coming.’
>’You’re worried they won’t like it?’
‘I’m worried that they don’t see past my appearance to see my art.’
>’Well we shall prove them wrong. Just think of the money you can make if you sell just one piece.’
‘Yeah, I can final quit that job working for the Celestia awful incessant nagging p0ny.
>She gives you a death stare, and you chuckle.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t leave you high and dry. I will most likely buy more materials and tools. I can’t bear to think what I would with my time if I didn’t work.’
>’Sit on your flank all day drinking.’
‘Ahh yes…”The Dole Bludger”. I need to buy something to entertain me. Maybe a radio or something.’
>’Well if you sell a statue, you can use your 50% of the profits to buy one.’
‘90% Rarity. And that’s being generous.’
>’Fine, I’ll take 90% then.’
>She gives you a large smile, and you return it. You were feeling better now.
>As you sat at the back of the room, watching p0ny after p0ny walk out from behind the curtain wearing Rarity’s new designs. You never really got fashion, so you sat there in your brand new suit Rarity had insisted on making for you.
A: OHMYGODLOOKATALLTHEFLUFFYP0NIESINPRETTYDRESSES!
M: Can you do something about her?
‘She’s your sister. You deal with her.’
>You are about to fall asleep when you hear Rarity’s voice boom over the speakers.
>’Excuse me everyp0ny. If you would be so kind to make your way into the next room. We have an art exhibition by a new artist.’
M:Just do me a favour. Remain calm in there.
‘Wow…sound advice from Mark for once.’
M: Face it. You faint, and I take control, I may hurt someone. Alice on the other hand…
>You watch Alice fly through the crowd trying to touch the p0nies.
M:…please don’t faint.
>You stand from your seat and walk slowly towards the doorway into the next room. Rarity was already standing at the stage, waiting for your arrival.
>She sees you and motions for you to come over. You stand on the stage behind her and wait for the crowd to settle down.
>’Mares and Gentlecolts, it is my great pleasure to introduce the artist of this evenings proceedings, Anonymous.’
>You step forwards to the mic, and p0nies start to murmur again.
A:Just fake it.
‘Good evening Mares and Gentlecolts. I am the artist known as Anonymous. The works you see around you, I have hand crafted-‘ You hold up your hands ‘- all the works you see around you. I will be walking around the room to talk about each piece more intimately, and each piece will be available for sale via my beautiful and equally talented, Mademoiselle Rarity. Thank you and enjoy your evening.’
>You walk off stage and begin to make your way around the room, followed by a small group of well dressed mares and gentlecolts. The soft sound of sting music can be heard coming from the corner, a string quartet complete with a grey p0ny playing a cello.
>For every statue, you give it a decided name, and then go on to talk about the process of creating it and what you envisioned as the end product.
>You end the night with your most recent creation.
‘I call this “Multiple Singularity”.’
>A stuffy white unicorn from the back pipes in.
>’Ah yes. It is a representation of the hierarchy of p0ny society. Obviously unicorns and Pegasi on top.’
‘Sir, I accept all opinions on my art’s meaning, but I must ask you do not interrupt me.’ He backs down immediate ‘As I was saying, Multiple Singularity is a representation of the minds of those around us. No matter how one looks, one’s mind is not the same as another’s. You never know which of us was diagnosed insane until you talk to them, and even after that, would they be any different from the p0ny you saw before?’
>You walk away from them with a smile on your face. You walk over to Rarity to see she is smiling even wider than you.
‘Did you like that?’
>’Oh Dahling, that was the highlight of the night.’
>After all was said and done at the end of the night, all of your sculptures were sold for a very good price. What surprised you the most was the bidding war over “Multiple Singularity”. The unicorn who interrupted you was trying to out-bid a Pegasus couple, and by the end the price was well over a few thousand bits.
>You even receive orders for Original Anon works which will keep you busy for a while.
>You thank everyp0ny for coming out to witness the art showing, and let Rarity know you were going back to the hotel for some sleep. You had to get up bright and early to send off all the statues for the p0nies who bought them.
>As you walk out into the streets of Canterlot, you fall over a p0ny. As you pick yourself up you realise it was one of the p0nies from the band, and judging by the size of her case, she played the cello.
>’ smotretʹ, kuda vy idete, vy nyeuklyuzhie obezʹyany (Watch where you’re going, you clumsy ape!)’
‘Tshchatelʹnoe kotoryĭ vy nazyvaete obezʹyany, vy glupye loshadi (Careful who you call an ape, you stupid horse)’
>She is stunned.
M: 2 years of Russian practice finally pays off to insult a horse.
>’You…you speak P0niet?’
‘If that’s what you call it here. Didn’t expect me to know you called me an ape.’
>’Whatever Mister Ape. I must return home.’
>as she walks away, you shake your head in complete disbelief.
‘bezdarnyĭ khak (Talentless Hack)’
>She immediately stops walking, and slowly turns towards you.
>’Vhat did you just call me?’
A: I think we should run now.
M: Yes, running is good. Run now.
>You immediately run for it, closely followed by the grey p0ny.
‘SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITFUCKSHITSHITSHIT!!!!!’
> You run through the streets of Canterlot, only occasionally looking back to see the fearsome looking p0ny charging for you. No matter how fast you run, she is on your tail. You are afraid now. You know not to piss off the Russian p0ny now.
> Through the chase, you find yourself in a park of some sorts. The grass is slippery under your formal shoes and you almost slip over on two occasions.
>Because you are paying more attention to the angry mare behind you, you almost don’t see the large rocky slope. You are able to stop within a foot of the slope, but you forgot the speeding mare on your tail.
>She tried to stop as she closes in on you, but immediately slides on the moist grass. You try to catch her and stop, but her momentum is too great. You both fall down the slope, and somewhere on the way down you hit your head, because you don’t remember sliding to the bottom before you fall into a dreamless sleep.

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

>Alice sat under the tree outside Rarity’s shop, enjoying the warm summer day. She noticed the light grey mare walking towards her.
A: Hey Derpy Hooves.
>’Hey Alice.’ Derpy says ‘Where’s Anon?’
A: He is still working inside. He said for me to wait out here for you.
>Derpy sits under the tree with Alice and pulls out a small radio.
>’You don’t mind if I play some music?’
A:No, go ahead.
>Derpy turns on the radio.
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALhbC27LABU&feature
>Derpy and Alice start to sway with the music and Derpy starts to softly sing. Her normal boyish sounding voice suddenly angelic.

====================================================
Fading Away,
Into the light of day.
Morning has come,
Only in grey.
I’ll never let go,
Of this memories glow.
Happiness falls,
Sends me deeper into sorrow.
=====================================================

>Alice is almost brought to tears as she finishes the song.
>’I glad you liked it. Lucky Anony wasn’t here. I get nervous around others.’
‘Don’t be too sure.’
>You hang yourself upside down from the branch of the tree, a smile on your face.
>Derpy’s face went immediately red.
‘Oh crap…I’m sorry Derpy. I was just sitting here when I heard you come along. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
>’It’s okay..I-I-I just don’t really sing a lot. Most p0nies wouldn’t like it.’
‘Derpy, you sound beautiful. It reminded me of my life back home. It just makes me sad to know all you can think about singing about sadness.’
>’I don’t think of it as a song of sadness. I see it as it is, the song means when life seems to lose its lustre, don’t let go of your memories. I actually wrote it after the town was attack last year. What were you doing in the tree?’

‘Oh, you know…’ you start to swing back and forth ‘Just hanging around.’
>You smile as Derpy giggles.
>’You’re silly Anony.’
M:Acting like a monkey…
A:Silly Monkey.
>you try to jump out of the tree, pulling off a triple sal-cal with a twist.
>Instead, you land on your face.
M: Oooo, the king of the belly whackers…
‘I think I broke my pride.’
>Derpy gives you another giggle and you pick yourself up. You both walk towards your house to have tea and fresh baked muffins.
>’How was work?’
‘Urgh… I have to go back to Canterlot with Rarity to help her with her fashion show.’
>’Then why not just tell her you don’t want to go?’
‘Well, somep0ny called Snooty Patooty-‘ Derpy and Alice giggled ‘-Set up an art exhibition for my wood carvings. I have been told I “must attend this exhibition dahling”. I mean, I like my work, but I don’t like to show it off. It’s a way for me to cope. It’s like your singing.’
>’But you are actually talented. I can’t sing.’
‘Either we agree both of our arts are good or neither are.’
>Derpy is visually distraught. 
>’ Do you really think I can sing well?’
‘Of course. You may be clumsy at times, but you have a magnificent singing voice.’
>You finally arrive outside your small shack of a house. Unlocking the door you let Derpy in first, and follow behind.
‘Shall we take the stairs or the slide?’
>She gives you a massive smile.
‘Of course. Why do I even bother to ask?’
>You pull the lever to the side and the staircase flips down to create a slide. Some say this was a stupid invention. You say they can go home to their homes without a slide and think about how foolish they are.

>Derpy slides down first, and you are soon to follow. You both hit the bottom, laughing like mad. It’s only when you calm down, do you notice you are lying on top of Derpy.
>’Anon?’ she whispers
‘Yeah…’
>’You’re hurting my wings.’
‘Shit sorry…’
>you jump up and immediately help Derpy up. You both walk into the kitchen and you turn the kettle on.
‘Umm…Derpy. There was something I wanted to talk to you about.’
>’Hmmfnmmm’ she said with a muffin in her mouth.
‘I wanted to know, do you like me as a friend, or more?’
>’Like best friends?’
‘Or special somep0ny like?’
>She stared at you, her eyes going straight.
>’Anon…I only like you as a friend.’
‘Oh thank god.’
>’Pardon?’
‘No, I mean I love having you as my friend. You understand what I go through every day. Hell, you can literally see the crazy in me. I just don’t want to lose this.’
>’Anony, we will always be friends.’
>you pour some tea for yourself and Derpy, and take a bite off muffin.
>’So when do you leave for Canterlot?’
‘Tomorrow morning, so I need to finish off “Insane P0ny”. You want to help me out?’
>’Yep yep yep!’
‘Okay, after we finish our snack.’
>you both sip at your cups of tea, and talk about how work has been. Derpy tells you about the weird clock maker from town, a brown colt with an hourglass as a cutie mark. You had only spoke to him once before. He never really made much sense, but what did you know. You are a human in a land of p0nies.

>After some delicious tea, you walk Derpy up the stairs of your house and towards what you have labelled your backyard. In it sat wooden statues of different sizes, of all different designs. You had a few animals that Fluttershy was most gracious to help you out with, a few artistic carvings of the three races of p0nies doing their thing. After a large drinking spree with Rainbow Dash, you carved a Pegasus puking. But your most recent one was of a p0ny representation of yourself. 
>It was an earth p0ny with a unicorn and a Pegasus sitting on top of it’s head. You had to re-carve the tail on the earth p0ny, it wasn’t coming out like you wanted it to.
>’So, what do you need me to do?’
‘Keep me company while I whittle.’
>’Sounds easy enough.’
>you start to etch more curves into the p0ny’s tail, giving it more life, Derpy starts making funny faces. You start to chuckle.
>As her faces get grander, so does your laughter, until you crack up laughing and have to stop.
‘Derpy…Derpy stop. I think I’m going to bust a rib again.’
>’Even after a week?’
‘Yes. You are that hilarious.’
>’What do you want to talk about then?’
>You start working again.
‘Well…How about your cutie mark? I mean how does bubbles relate to muffins and mail?’
>She gives you a weird look.
>’What doesn’t it have to with it?’
‘Fair point. Want to guess what my cutie mark would be?’
>’YAY! Muffin!’
‘Crocodile.’
A: Strait Jacket
M: A donkey with a dunce hat.
>’What does that mean?’
>Alice snaps a hand over Mark’s mouth.
‘He’s calling me a dumb arse for fighting the minotaur.’
>’Well you were pretty stupid.’ Came a voice.

>You turn to see Rainbow Dash gliding down from the clouds above. You give her a quick bro hoof, and she gives Derpy a hug. 
>You remember how all this came about. After leaving the hospital, you had a drink with Dash, and she drunkenly went on a tangent that you wouldn’t have gotten hurt if it weren’t for that clumsy mail mare. After about an hour of this, you had had enough and walked out. Dash followed you, complaining you were acting weird and you snapped. You spun around and grabbed Dash by the throat.
‘You ever say another mean thing about Derpy, and I will make what I did to that minotaur look like a slight scratch compared to what I will do to you.’
>She looked at you with fearful eyes.
>’M-M-Mark?’
‘Nope, still me. Tomorrow, you will see Derpy Hooves and you will give her a hug. If you don’t, I will make sure no p0ny can find you. One of the pleasures of being an omnivore.’
>You drop her and walk off. In the morning, you realised what you did. When you tried to find Dash and make up for it, you found her hugging Derpy. You tried to apologise for what you did, but she said it doesn’t matter.
>’I realise that I shouldn’t be so prejudice against other p0nies.’
‘You realised how soft her coat is?’
>’I know right, I don’t know why you don’t like hugging her, she is so soft and cuddly.’
>Your mind flashes back to reality when Rainbow starts to wave a hoof in your face.
>’Hey, Equestria to Anon? You in there bro?’
‘Huh…Sorry, zonked out for a second.’
>RD:’Derpy says you are going to Canterlot.’
‘Yeah…Rarity needs help and she set up an art exhibition for me.’

>RD: ‘That doesn’t sound so bad.’
‘Dash, it’s one thing to sell my art locally. I can appreciate it or have others appreciate it. But I don’t like large crowds. It makes me feel….’
>You shudder at the thought.
>D’Why don’t you like crowds,Anony?’
‘I don’t like close contact with anyone. Hugs are fairly bearable once in a while, but being surrounded by others gets me nervous.’
>RD:’Dude, you have people living in your head! That’s fairly close.’
‘They are me. It’s different.’
>RD:’ Whatever man. Do you have a photographic memory or something, cos that statue is fairly creepy.’
>She points her hoof to the statue of her puking.
‘Yeah, I seem to do my best work drunk.’
>RD: ‘Speaking of which, go out drinking tonight?’
‘Yeah, might as well get drunk before I leave. Same time, same place?’
>RD: ‘Damn straight.’
>Dash gives you a bro-hoof and hugs Derpy again, and shoots off.
>You finish up the p0ny’s tail fairly quickly, and sign the base.
‘How’s it look?’
>’It looks so real.’ Derpy touches the p0ny’s face.
‘Thank you. You right to fly home alone?’
>’Yep yep yep. See ya Anony.’
>She flies up and gives you a headbutt.
‘See ya Derpy.’
>You go back inside and have a shower before you go drinking with Dash.
>The rest of your night is filled with knocking back drinks with Dash, and listening to how soft your hair feels. You decide to call it a night, not wanting to wake to a hangover and listening to Rarity complain.

>You sat across from Rarity on the train ride up. You were fairly uncomfortable in the seat, and Rarity was more concerned with fantasising about her fashion show and being around high class p0nies than with how you really felt. It wasn’t until she looked up, did she see the discomfort in your face.
>”Dahling, what is wrong?’
‘Hmm let’s see.  I am in a p0ny sized train on my way to an exhibition for works that I am quite embarrassed about, with p0nies who are so stuck up their own flanks, they can actually hear a shit coming.’
>’You’re worried they won’t like it?’
‘I’m worried that they don’t see past my appearance to see my art.’
>’Well we shall prove them wrong. Just think of the money you can make if you sell just one piece.’
‘Yeah, I can final quit that job working for the Celestia awful incessant nagging p0ny.
>She gives you a death stare, and you chuckle.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t leave you high and dry. I will most likely buy more materials and tools. I can’t bear to think what I would with my time if I didn’t work.’
>’Sit on your flank all day drinking.’
‘Ahh yes…”The Dole Bludger”. I need to buy something to entertain me. Maybe a radio or something.’
>’Well if you sell a statue, you can use your 50% of the profits to buy one.’
‘90% Rarity. And that’s being generous.’
>’Fine, I’ll take 90% then.’
>She gives you a large smile, and you return it. You were feeling better now.

>As you sat at the back of the room, watching p0ny after p0ny walk out from behind the curtain wearing Rarity’s new designs. You never really got fashion, so you sat there in your brand new suit Rarity had insisted on making for you.
A: OHMYGODLOOKATALLTHEFLUFFYP0NIESINPRETTYDRESSES!
M: Can you do something about her?
‘She’s your sister. You deal with her.’
>You are about to fall asleep when you hear Rarity’s voice boom over the speakers.
>’Excuse me everyp0ny. If you would be so kind to make your way into the next room. We have an art exhibition by a new artist.’
M:Just do me a favour. Remain calm in there.
‘Wow…sound advice from Mark for once.’
M: Face it. You faint, and I take control, I may hurt someone. Alice on the other hand…
>You watch Alice fly through the crowd trying to touch the p0nies.
M:…please don’t faint.
>You stand from your seat and walk slowly towards the doorway into the next room. Rarity was already standing at the stage, waiting for your arrival.
>She sees you and motions for you to come over. You stand on the stage behind her and wait for the crowd to settle down.
>’Mares and Gentlecolts, it is my great pleasure to introduce the artist of this evenings proceedings, Anonymous.’
>You step forwards to the mic, and p0nies start to murmur again.
A:Just fake it.
‘Good evening Mares and Gentlecolts. I am the artist known as Anonymous. The works you see around you, I have hand crafted-‘ You hold up your hands ‘- all the works you see around you. I will be walking around the room to talk about each piece more intimately, and each piece will be available for sale via my beautiful and equally talented, Mademoiselle Rarity. Thank you and enjoy your evening.’ 

>You walk off stage and begin to make your way around the room, followed by a small group of well dressed mares and gentlecolts. The soft sound of sting music can be heard coming from the corner, a string quartet complete with a grey p0ny playing a cello.
>For every statue, you give it a decided name, and then go on to talk about the process of creating it and what you envisioned as the end product.
>You end the night with your most recent creation.
‘I call this “Multiple Singularity”.’
>A stuffy white unicorn from the back pipes in.
>’Ah yes. It is a representation of the hierarchy of p0ny society. Obviously unicorns and Pegasi on top.’
‘Sir, I accept all opinions on my art’s meaning, but I must ask you do not interrupt me.’ He backs down immediate ‘As I was saying, Multiple Singularity is a representation of the minds of those around us. No matter how one looks, one’s mind is not the same as another’s. You never know which of us was diagnosed insane until you talk to them, and even after that, would they be any different from the p0ny you saw before?’
>You walk away from them with a smile on your face. You walk over to Rarity to see she is smiling even wider than you.
‘Did you like that?’
>’Oh Dahling, that was the highlight of the night.’

>After all was said and done at the end of the night, all of your sculptures were sold for a very good price. What surprised you the most was the bidding war over “Multiple Singularity”. The unicorn who interrupted you was trying to out-bid a Pegasus couple, and by the end the price was well over a few thousand bits.
>You even receive orders for Original Anon works which will keep you busy for a while.
>You thank everyp0ny for coming out to witness the art showing, and let Rarity know you were going back to the hotel for some sleep. You had to get up bright and early to send off all the statues for the p0nies who bought them.
>As you walk out into the streets of Canterlot, you fall over a p0ny. As you pick yourself up you realise it was one of the p0nies from the band, and judging by the size of her case, she played the cello.
>’ smotretʹ, kuda vy idete, vy nyeuklyuzhie obezʹyany (Watch where you’re going, you clumsy ape!)’
‘Tshchatelʹnoe kotoryĭ vy nazyvaete obezʹyany, vy glupye loshadi (Careful who you call an ape, you stupid horse)’
>She is stunned. 
M: 2 years of Russian practice finally pays off to insult a horse.
>’You…you speak P0niet?’
‘If that’s what you call it here. Didn’t expect me to know you called me an ape.’
>’Whatever Mister Ape. I must return home.’
>as she walks away, you shake your head in complete disbelief.
‘bezdarnyĭ khak (Talentless Hack)’
>She immediately stops walking, and slowly turns towards you.
>’Vhat did you just call me?’
A: I think we should run now.
M: Yes, running is good. Run now.
>You immediately run for it, closely followed by the grey p0ny.
‘SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITFUCKSHITSHITSHIT!!!!!’

> You run through the streets of Canterlot, only occasionally looking back to see the fearsome looking p0ny charging for you. No matter how fast you run, she is on your tail. You are afraid now. You know not to piss off the Russian p0ny now.
> Through the chase, you find yourself in a park of some sorts. The grass is slippery under your formal shoes and you almost slip over on two occasions.
>Because you are paying more attention to the angry mare behind you, you almost don’t see the large rocky slope. You are able to stop within a foot of the slope, but you forgot the speeding mare on your tail.
>She tried to stop as she closes in on you, but immediately slides on the moist grass. You try to catch her and stop, but her momentum is too great. You both fall down the slope, and somewhere on the way down you hit your head, because you don’t remember sliding to the bottom before you fall into a dreamless sleep.

Pastebin.com Tools & Applications

iPhone/iPad

Windows

Firefox

Chrome

WebOS

Android

Mac

Opera

Click.to

UNIX

WinPhone