Hoon in Equestria 2

‘MIGGY!!’

>You awake with a scream, your face drenched in sweat. You look around to see you were still in Frostbite, your WRX.

‘Was…was it all a dream?’

>You look out the windscreen to see it was still dark outside, but there was a few shapes you could make out. The definite shapes of gravestones.

‘No…’

>Everything from last night came flooding back to you. The race, the light, the killer walrus…the look on Joe’s face when he was attacked. Your eyes well up at the thought of your lost comrade.

>And then it finally hit you. The sentient species of…where ever the fuck you were, they were equine.

>Pastel colour equine…that use magic.

>This was too much for you to handle. Somehow you were transported to another dimension where horses with horns run the joint.

>You shake your head from the thoughts and decide to go for a walk. You reach into the back seat and grab your spare hooded jumper.

>You deactivate the alarm, and climb out of Frostbite’s driver seat, slipping the jumper on.

>In the distance, you could see the sun beginning to rise, so they would be coming for you soon.

>You open the back door of the car, and rifle through the junk in the back, also known as everything you fucking own.

>You had several sets of clothes, including your work overalls, as well as 3 pairs of shoes and a couple of hats.

>You chuck everything around until you find it. A black sunglasses case, containing your silver aviators.

>You put your sunglasses on, and shut the door before locking Frostbite and activating the alarm.

>You take a deep breath before walking towards a large gathering of fruit trees, hoping to clear your head.

 

>After an hour long walk, you start to walk back to the graveyard. You found an apple orchard, but you didn’t feel right stealing from others, no matter if they were human or not.

>You reach the fence surrounding the graveyard and your jaw drops.

>Surrounding your car was at least 10 large white p0nies wearing golden armour and roman helmets, all with horns.

>What did surprise you was there was another 5 with wings. Pegasi?

>You suspected they were the royalty’s guards that Miss Sparkle told you about, and you were about to walk out of your hiding spot slowly, when you saw her.

>It was Miss Sparkle, and she was looking fairly angry. From your spot you could barely hear the words she was speaking to the guards.

>’Alright guards, this creature is very dangerous. He seems to be resistant to magic, not even my strongest spell could phase him.’

>She…she tried to hurt you? Oh that bitch has it coming.

>You grab your trusty iPhone out and turn on the camera.

>’It looks like it is still asleep in the metallic beast, so we need to be quiet. It must be restrained before Princess Celestia gets here. No matter what lies he spouted last night, he is still too dangerous to be allowed to roam free.’

>Your anger is rising…

>’Okay, concentrate and lift the large beast while I prepare the containment spell.’

>The ten magic users’ horns glowed white and Frostbite started to lift off the ground.

‘Not today you stuck up, phallus faced bitch…’

>You grab your car remote out of your pocket, and hit the large red button.

>Immediately the alarm is triggered, sending wave after wave of annoying sound loud enough to break any concentration.

 

>Frostbite fell back to the ground, unharmed, and all the equine guards immediately drop, covering their ears.

>Miss Sparkle was doing the same, the noise scaring and confusing her.

>You took this as your chance to fight back. You jump from your hiding spot behind the fence towards the group of guards, kicking one in the head.

>The rest look up, and see you kicking more of them down. Some of them were determined enough to try to fight back, but your rage was endless.

>You go to strike a third one in the head, when you notice it. All the guards, whether conscious or not, were suddenly surrounded by a pink aura and floated off the ground.

>Your clothes showed a dull pink glow, but it faded in and out.

>’Ahem.’

>You spin to see a large white horse, with both a horn and wings. Her flowing mane was made up of waves of different colours.

>The look in her eyes, a look of anger, and her gritted teeth meant one thing. She was pissed off.

>’Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t banish you from my country.’ She growled.

‘Apart from the fact your magic doesn’t work on me?’

>Her look changed from anger to shock, but recovered with more anger.

‘I have proof that they started it, led by Miss Sparkle over there.’

>You quickly take out your phone, and bring up the video, before showing the screen to the very large angry horse who wants you dead.

 

>She watched the video with intense emotion. As she did, she glanced at the guards and Sparkle. When it finally finished, you put the phone back in your pocket.

>She turned to her guards, keeping a composed look on her face.

>’Return to Canterlot. I shall deal with everything here.’

>There was a chorus of “Yes Princess” and the guards marched out of the cemetery. The large horse then turned to you.

>’Human.’

‘Equine’

>’I would like to know how you came to find yourself here, after you kind died out millennia ago.’

>You were thrown through a loop with this one. Did she just say humans used to live here? Was this the future? No, it’s too nice to be the future.

‘And I want to know how you know of my kind, and why I was attacked.’

>She growled.

>’You dare make demands to me?’

>This pissed you off. ‘I dare NOTHING! I came here peacefully, with the up-most respect for your kind, only to find out your subjects wanted me captured. The way I see it is we can either have some quid pro quo or I can leave peacefully. I’ll find a new nation to live in, whether they be allies or enemies of you. If they are allies, I may be able to prove I am not a threat to you and your kind, maybe even return. If enemies, I can be turned into a weapon, seeing as I am unaffected by your magic. I don’t want that. Hell, I wanted to go home last night, but here I am.’

 

>She sighed and looked at Twilight, before returning her gaze to you.

>’What if I make a promise? If you remain peaceful and co-operative, we can talk freely. I can tell you everything you need to know, and you can tell me. You will be under my protection so no p0ny will lay a hoof on you.’

‘And all you want from me is a chat?’ She nodded her head. ‘Okay, I can agree to that. I only ask one thing.’

>’What is that?’

‘I would like to know who I am speaking with. I do not wish to offend you by calling you something you are not.’

>’I am Princess Celestia of the sun, ruler of Equestria.’ She gives a small bow.

‘I am Anonymous of Australia.’ You bow in return.

>’Greetings Anonymous. I must have a word with my student, but I shall return.’

>You nod in acknowledgement, and Celestia trots over to Twilight.

>You take the time to remove your hoodie. The weather was becoming warmer, and you no longer needed it.

>Disabling the alarm and unlocking the doors, you open the back and throw your jumper in, messily.

>When you turn back around, Celestia was standing behind you, with an ashamed looking Twilight next to her.

>PC ‘Anonymous. My student has something to say.’

>T ‘Anonymous, I am sorry about how I acted. I should have trusted you completely, especially since you gave me that red thing last night.’

>Oh, you dun goof’d now.

‘Ehh… Okay, maybe I lied a little.’ They both give you confused looks. ‘I have more than one of those. I have three actually, just in case. It is I who must ask for forgiveness.’

>Princess Celestia smiled.

>PC ‘We can call this even. Twilight, you have preparations to make, and I need to have a word with Anonymous.’

 

>Twilight bows before running into town, and Celestia looks at you.

>PC ‘Come. We can have our talk by the lake and away from this dreary place.’

>You follow Celestia to a lakefront, the walk consisting of silence. The minute the two of you got there, she looked at you and cleared her throat.

‘Uh…What happened with Twilight? She didn’t seem so hostile last night.’

>Princess Celestia sighed. ‘I’m afraid my faithful student is to curious for her own good. But we need to get back to the promise we both made.’

>You open your mouth to speak when there was a dark flash of purple light and a smaller p0ny appeared.

>She was taller than Twilight, but shorter than Celestia. Her coat was dark blue and her mane looked like the night sky. She, too, had both wings and a horn.

>?? ‘Sister! We have been looking for you everywhere! Young Blueblood has-‘

>She stopped talking when she saw you, and her mouth was agape.

>’MONSTER!!’

>Her horn lit up and before either you or Celestia could reacted, a large ball of energy was fired at your chest.

>PC ‘LUNA, NO!’

>You were blasted onto the ground, the dust kicking up around you.

>L ‘Sister! Thank heavens you are safe! You were almost attacked!’

>PC ‘LUNA! HE WASN’T ATTACKING ME!!’

‘And by the way, I’M FUCKING FINE, THANK YOU!!’

>They both turn to see you standing up again, dusting yourself off with your left hand. Their eyes widened.

>In your right hand sat the ball of energy that Luna had fired at you.

 

‘So…You want to tell me why I was just called a monster?’

>Princess Celestia looked from the ball to you and back to the ball.

>PC ‘How…but…you should…’

‘Okay, you’re no help. Luna, was it? Care to explain?’

>The look she gave you could freeze fire.

>PC ‘Anonymous, this is my sister, Princess Luna. She is…young.’

‘Hi. Thanks for the freaky glowing ball. Dunno what to do with it.’

>You start spinning it on your finger like a basketball, which shocked both princesses.

‘Heh, yeah. Fingers are pretty good. No hard feelings Princess Luna? I didn’t mean to seem like I was attacking your sister.’

>She still stared daggers at you.

>PC ‘Anonymous, shall I dispose of that…item for you?’

‘Nah, I’m good. I got it.’

>You throw the glowing ball into the lake, and it hits with a massive explosion.

>Water sprays your faces with intense force, but you don’t move an inch. You just stand there, staring angrily at Princess Luna.

>When the water finally calms, you take a deep breath in through your nose, hoping to calm your nerves. You pick up the aroma of cotton candy and… rain on a hot asphalt road? Must be from the lake.

‘Okay, you two are going to tell me why I was just hit with an exploding ball of doom that was going to kill me.’

>In another flash of light, Princess Luna teleports away. You turn your look to Celestia who was in a state of shock.

’Thirty seconds before I flip the fuck out, give me a good reason why I shouldn’t.’

>Her attention snaps to you.

 

> ‘Anonymous, please, you must understand our kind has gone through a lot of trouble when both Luna and I were fillies.’

‘Fillies?’

>PC ‘Very young p0nies.’

‘Oh…children. Okay, so why did she try to kill me?’

>’You asked why I knew of your kind. It’s because humans used to live in Equestria millennia ago.’

>You fall backwards from the shock, only for a large seat made of dirt and grass to form around you.

> ‘I know it comes as quite a shock to you, and it shocked me too. The last of the humans went extinct two thousand years ago.’

‘So…so, what do this have to do with the trouble?’

>Celestia sighed. ‘Humans and p0nies were always at war with each other. This dates back to the beginning of the history books. Humans never agreed with p0nies being more powerful, and they thought they had nothing. But they had immunity to magic, and they used it well.’

>She looked out over the lake to compose her thoughts and you could see a single tear roll down her face.

>’In Equestria, we have 3 main types of p0nies. Unicorns, our magic users.’

‘Like Twilight or the doctor from last night.’

>’Pegasi, like my other guards, and earth p0nies who have great strength and a connection to the earth. Apart from them, there was another race called the Alicorns. Blessed with both wings and a horn, Alicorns were born into royalty, and were great in numbers.’

‘Oh fuck…I know where this is going…’ you mutter.

>’Yes, humans used their specific traits of immunity to magic and their cunning intellect to kill off the Alicorns. There was a fierce war, one that Equestria had never seen before, and by the end of it, Alicorns were the victor, but not without casualties. Luna and I are the last of very few Alicorns.’

 

‘Great. Fucking great. I land in a world where the rulers hate me.’

>’Anonymous, I do not hate you, and Luna…she needs time to understand you are not like the last humans. They were savage and vicious. You seem more kind and caring.’

>You look at Celestia and give her a toothy smile.

‘Or I am just more civilised.’ The princess reared her head back in shock ‘I might be as dangerous, but being civilised means I won’t attack you without a proper reason.’

>’So you might be a good ally to us.’

‘You say ally, I see a weapon. I’m not a fighter, nor a strategist. I think quickly and act on impulse, hence I became a street racer.’

>’I assume that has to do with your previous life?’

‘Yes. Before I came here.’

>You spend a good hour telling Princess Celestia of your world, and everything you can remember from it. You go on to tell her about your actual life from Earth, being a street racer and working with Miggy and AAA.

>’So, that metal beast…?’

‘It’s called a car. A very powerful car compared to others.’

>’How does it work?’

‘The basics of it is it uses small controlled explosions to drive pistons and make the car go. I use a liquid called petrol to fuel the explosions. My car has a smaller engine than others, but it has turbo chargers. Small intake fans that force more air into the engine, making it faster.’

>’Hmm…I see. Would you be willing to allow us to examine it?’

‘What’s in this deal for me?’

>You give Celestia a cheeky smile and she smiles back.

 

>’I’m glad to know you can still be in high spirits. What do you need?’

‘Well, my car needs a few things to run. Motor oil, which I have some; water, which is plentiful. The things I need most are electricity and petrol.’

>’I can most likely replicate the petrol material, but what is “electricity”?’

‘Like lightning. It’s what I use to power my car and sound system.’

>’Okay, I believe I can assist you in that. But, there still is that last matter at hand. How did you get here in the first place?’

>It was your turn to look down.

‘I think it best if I explain it when we get back to Frostbite. I will probably need to show you some things.’

>Celestia nodded and you both started up the path to town, another uncomfortable silence.

>As the two of you walk into the centre of town, you notice how eerily quiet it is. You don’t know what time it is, but you can assume the towns p0nies would be out and about by now.

>You immediately stop walking, and Celestia looks at you.

>’What is it Anonymous?’

‘Something bad is about to happen.’

>’What?’

‘I can feel it. Something in the air.’

>’Anon, no p0ny would attack you while I am around.’

‘Like your sister?’

>That was a low blow, and you can see how sad Celestia is that it happened.

‘Princess, I’m sorry. I am just a little on edge.’

>’It’s okay Anon. I understand. You are in a new-’

>The princess was cut off by a flash of pink flying through the air from an open window, directly at you.

 

>You immediately side step, your instincts kicking in before your brain can, and a pink p0ny with a fluffy pink mane and tail lands in the dirt behind you.

>??? ‘WOWEE ZOWEE!! IwasalllikeZOOOOM andyouwerelikeWOOSH andIwasalllikeRainbow whensheforgetstolandproperly.’

>She just doesn’t shut up.

>You look at the princess and she is trying to stifle a giggle.

‘Friend of yours?’

>C’Of course. She is a friend of everyp0ny in town. I just wonder where the rest of them are.’

>On cue, a flash of cyan flies for you, and you drop to your stomach. The cyan flash hits the ground next to the pink one. As the dust clears, you see it’s a blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane.

>??? ‘Darn it! I almost had it!’

>What is wrong with these creatures?!

>??? ‘Don’ worry Rainbow Dash. Ah gots him.’

>Oh god…you are in the deep south now.

>A rope flies over your head and grabs the toe of your shoe. As it pulls back, you kick the shoe off, sending it flying at an orange p0ny with a Stetson and a blonde mane, hitting her square in the face.

>Immediately you jump to your feet.

‘THE NEXT ONE TO ATTACK ME WILL REGRET IT!!’

>You feel something bump into your leg and you look down to see a yellow Pegasus hiding behind a pink mane.

>She looks up at you, and her face erupts in horror.

‘THAT’S IT!!’

>To the other p0nies’ horror, you bend down and grab the yellow pegasi around the waist, lifting her up.

> The rainbow one speaks up first.

>??? ‘Hey you monster! Put down Fluttershy!’

‘I warned you!’

>You clutch your hand into a claw shape and give this “Fluttershy” an evil grin.

>She gasps and whimpers behind her mane with fear…

 

>…before bursting out in laughter as you proceed to tickle her soft belly. She wriggles in happiness as you continue to tickle her.

‘You gunna stop attacking me?’

>FS ‘Y-y-yes…’ She laughs again ‘Please…stop tickling …me’

‘Okay.’

>You stop and lower her to the ground again, before straightening up and looking at Celestia.

>She had the biggest shit eating grin on her face imaginable.

‘I knew it was an accident. Still want to know why I’m getting attacked.'

>??? ‘This is your welcoming party, silly filly.’

‘Attacking me is a welcome? I’d hate to see what you do when I’m in trouble.’

>T ‘I’m sorry Mr Anonymous. I told them to greet you slowly and quietly.’

>You turn to see Twilight walking up with a white unicorn at her right, and a small purple reptile on her back.

‘I’m not angry. I was able to dodge them. I’m just not big on surprises.’

>T ‘Well, I’m still sorry. These p0nies are my friends from town. This is Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy and the unicorn next to me is Rarity.’

> The 5 p0nies all give you a warm hello in their own special ways.

>T ‘Oh?! And this is my number one assistant, Spike. He’s a-‘

>You hold up a hand to stop her.

‘Mind if I take a guess?’

>T ‘Uh…sure?’

‘Spike, wanna come over here for a second?’

>S ‘Okay…?’

 

> Spike hops off Twilight’s back and walks over to you. You hold out your fist as he gets closer and he looks at you with confusion.

‘Hold out your fist like this. It’s a tradition from where I came from.’

>He does as you instruct him, and you give him this universes first fist bump.

‘You are now my bro.’

>S ‘Bro?’

‘Friends. More than friends. If you ever need anything, you come to me.’

>S ‘But…why me?’

‘You are the first guy here I have properly met, so you get first dibs.’

>He gives you a wide smile. ‘Awesome.’

‘Okay, down to business. Obviously a reptile, that’s a given. Walking bipedal doesn’t give me anything. Can you open your mouth?’

>He does so, and you lean in close.

‘Hmm… sharp canine teeth. You are a carnivore, or a descendant of one. At this point, I’d love to say you are a crocodile. I really would. But your teeth at very thick, thicker than a croc’s tooth, so you have to munch through something rock hard.’

>You look at Twilight and scratch your head.

‘And because this world is inhabited by strange creatures from mythology, I’m going to say he’s a dragon. Only a baby, but still a dragon.’

>T ‘Wow…you were able to deduce that by his appearance?’

‘That and Princess Celestia said her faithful student had a baby dragon as an assistant.’

>You give her a large troll smile.

>Your vision is suddenly obstructed by a wall of pink and you jump back to see Pinkie Pie attached to your chest. How she got there is…unknown.

 

>PP ‘Hi I’m Pinkie Pie. Wow, you look weird. Are you a monkey? How do you pronounce your name? Can I call you Anon? Can I call you Anony? Do you like parties?...’

>Her questions went on for a full five minutes, and you nodded along until she went silent. She gives you a wide grin and you clear your throat.

‘Hi Pinkie. Yes I do. No, I’m human. Anonymous. Yes. Maybe. Yes. Six foot. 18 cupcakes. Uhh…. The battle of Gettysburg? No. I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. 1947. Black. Va ponimate po-anglise? That way.’

>As you finish answering, Pinkie bounces up and down excitedly. Every p0ny else was in a state of shock, but Rainbow Dash was next to get into your face.

>RD ‘So, monkey, are you fast?’

‘Depends what you mean, horse.’ Putting emphasis on “horse”.

>They all gasped. ‘Anon,’ Twilight said ‘That’s a very rude term here.’

‘Oh, but calling me a monkey isn’t? Kinda hypocritical, Twilight.’

>RD ‘Fine! Anon, are you fast?’

‘Depends on the context and if we are using our special proxies.’

>RD ‘Huh? Dude, I don’t speak egg-head.’

‘Are you gunna use your wings?’

>RD ‘Pfft duh! Are you an idiot?’

‘That’s fine. You use your wings, I use Frostbite.’

>RD ‘What the buck is a “Frostbite”?’

‘Frostbite is my car, and before you ask, he is fast.’

>RD ‘Pfft, not as fast as the legendary Rainbow Dash.’

‘We’ll see then.’ You turn to Princess Celestia ‘Celestia, my dear. Where is the closest place that has a long stretch of land?’

>Celestia chuckles at your attitude, but the white unicorn named Rarity growls in rage.

 

>She immediately and very daintily storms up to you, ready to tear you a new one.

>R ‘What gives such an unmannered beast like yourself the right to speak to royalty like that?’

‘What makes you think that I am an unmannered beast? Why am I not permitted to be royalty from my world? You, Miss Rarity, have only known me for five minutes, and yet you think you know of my culture.’ Rarity shuffles back in embarrassment ‘I might be a king for all you know, someone of higher importance than a princess, only acting as a commoner because I am in a new land.’

>R ‘Sorry…’

>PC ‘But, Anon, are you a king or any form of royalty?’

>You crack an evil grin.

‘Oh hell no. Royalty in my world is all but gone. Technically, my homeland is “under royal care”, but that just means we have to fight when they want us to. They abandoned us centuries ago, and we turned out fine.’

>Rarity grumbles something about you being uncivilized.

‘I’ll respect Princess Celestia when I have seen a good reason to. I can see she is loving, I can see she is respected. I can really see she is forgiving. Right now, I barely know her. It might take some time, but I am far from uncivilized.’

 

>FS ’Umm…there is a large…field near, ummm, whitetail woods…if you like?’

>You look down to see Fluttershy peeking out at you from behind her mane.

‘Pardon?’

>FS ’You need a field, right…? There is one near the woods…if that’s what you wanted…’

>You smile and crouch down.

‘Thank you Miss Fluttershy. That should do very nicely.’

>You reach a hand up and scratch behind her ear. She immediately relaxes at your touch, almost purring.

‘Alright, multi-coloured equine.’ They give you a deadpan look. ‘Okay, what would you like to be called?’

>R ‘Elegant mares.’

>TS ‘P0nies.’

>PP ‘FRIENDS!!’

‘No, maybe, don’t know you enough Pinkie. If you want to meet me down at the field, myself  and Spike will be there shortly.’

>TS ‘Why does Spike need to go?’

‘Uh hello?! He’s my bro, he gets to ride shotgun.’

>S ‘I’m cool with that.’

>TS ‘But you could get hurt.’

‘Twilight?’ She turns to you, and you crouch down to her eye level. ‘I would never allow any danger to come to your assistant. Frostbite is fitted with a 5 point harness system, so he will be in total safety, I promise.’

>The look on her face said it all. A look not from a friend, but a worried sibling. ‘Really?’

‘Really really.’

>TS ‘Thank you…’

>The 6 p0nies and Celestia walked down the street towards the field while you and Spike walk down a side street to the graveyard.

 

>As you get closer, the mood lightens up. Spike tells you about all the fun things in this town, which has been called P0nyville.

>Yeah, you couldn’t believe this crap either.

>S ‘Thanks for sticking up for me with Twilight. She can be such a bummer sometimes.’

>Your left eye twitches, and you stop. Spike stops next to you, and looks up.

>S ‘What is it man?’

‘Spike, I know I’m new here, so I hope I don’t over step my grounds with this.’

>You reach down quickly, and grab Spike by a large green spine on his back, before slamming him into a nearby wall.

>S ‘ B-b-bro…What are you doing?’

‘I don’t ever want to hear you say ANYTHING like that when someone cares about you, got it?!’

>S ‘Yeah, course. Whatever you say Anon.’

‘If I do, I’ll beat you until you understand.’

>Spike nodded quickly.

‘Twilight cares for you like a big sister would. Remember that before something happens to her.’

>You lift Spike higher and he starts to flail, until you place him on your shoulder.

‘Stay up there the rest of the way. I can get us there fast this way.’

>You start running towards the graveyard, Spike bouncing up and down on your shoulder.

>As it gets into sight, you slow down.

>’whoa… what is that?’

‘That large mass of metal is Frostbite, a…motorised chariot, if you will.’

>’What does that mean?’

‘It moves on its own power.’

>You walk up to Frostbite’s passenger side, and disable the alarm and lock with your remote.

>You open the door and lift Spike off your shoulder, placing him on the passenger seat near the pool of blood.

>You grab the harness straps and start to strap Spike in.

 

>’I’m sorry for making you mad, Anon.’ he mutters.

‘No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Just, don’t forget those who care for you before they disappear.’

>’What do you mean?’

‘How long do dragons live for?’

>’A long time?’

‘Exactly.’

>’Is this about that other human?’ You freeze up as he says that. ‘Twilight wouldn’t tell me what happened, but I heard there was another one of you here.’

‘He… he died last night. He saved my life and then died.’

>’Was he a good friend?’

>You look at Spike, and smile.

‘He was an idiot, and a complainer, and got me in more trouble than I can count. He was a great friend.’

>’That makes no sense.’

‘It doesn’t here, but where I come from, it means the world.’

>You finish strapping Spike in, and walk around to the other side.

>You open the driver’s door and slide in, turning on Frostbite’s engine, and giving it a good warm up.

>’Wow!! Sure is loud!’

‘Yeah, but wait for the music.’

>You plug your iPhone into the head unit, and shuffle through the music until you find the best song. Something from back home.

>You put Frostbite into reverse, and begin backing up.

>’Aren’t you going to strap in?’

‘Nah, takes too long.’

>’Then why did I have to?’

‘Cos I promised Twilight you would be safe. Now hold on tight, because this is going to be rough.’

>You slam Frostbite into first gear, and fishtail out of the graveyard.

 

>The seven p0nies stood in the field, looking around for you.

>RD ‘Where is he?! He probably chickened out, too scared to face The Dash.’

>TS ‘He said he would be here, and he will.’

>PP ’Don't worry. Anon Pinkie promised he'd be here' Her mane went flat and she pulled a knife out of thin air 'He wouldn't want to break that.'

>TS: 'Pinkie? He didn't make a Pinkie Promise. He just promised.'

>Pinkie's hair re-poofs, and she giggles.

>PP: 'Oh well, there’s always next time!'

>FS ‘I think I hear something…’

>The p0nies all turned their heads towards the sound. It sounded like…music?

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d7OBluielc&feature=youtu.be&t=2m30s

>PC ‘Someone is playing…some sort of music? Is Miss Scratch in town again?’

>RD ‘No, it doesn’t sound like Vinyl. It sounds different.’

>As if perfectly timed, you blast over a small hill, Frostbite gaining a few feet of air before landing.

>The p0nies before you are in utter shock, and you loved it.

>You gunned it down the field to the p0nies, switching from third to fourth gear, not planning to stop.

>Spike looks at you, and you look at him.

>S ‘Sure you wanna do this?’

‘Oh hell the fuck yes…’

>You rip the handbrake, and turn the steering wheel to the right, sending Frostbite into a drift. The p0nies could only look on in horror, like deer in headlights.

>As you get closer, you prepare the brakes, only nudging on them slightly to control your speed, before coming to a complete abrupt stop right in front of the small group.

>You step out, with the biggest smile on your face.

‘Hi.’

 

>Twilight rushes over to you, an angry look on her face.

>TS ‘Anon!’ she harshly whispers ‘I thought you promised Spike would be safe!’

‘He is safe. If you give me 30 seconds, I can unhook him from the seat.’

>You walk over to the passenger side, and Twilight follows. You open the door to reveal a very happy looking Spike, strapped to his seat.

‘Spike, you’re okay, right?’

>S ‘Yeah, of course bro.’

‘That’s good. Twi was just worried.’

>Twilight blushes slightly before turning to you. ‘Anon, how do get him out then?’

‘Easy.’

>You lean in and press the release button on the harness, hearing a familiar click, and Spike comes free.

>Immediately he is enveloped in a purple aura and is torn from your car into Twilight’s face. He hovered a foot away from her in mid-air as Twilight checked him for damage.

>TS ‘Spike, where does it hurt? What’s broken? What did he do to you?’

>S ‘Twilight, I’m fine!’

>TS ‘You could have been killed in that thing.’ She looked at you. ‘It’s your fault, you filled his brain with your….human ideas!’

>You take a deep breath and sigh.

‘Twilight Sparkle, I am going to give you to the count of three to calm down and listen.’

>TS ‘What kind of ultimatum is that?!’

‘one.’

>TS ‘You think I am going to calm down after you almost killed my assistant?!’

‘Two…’

>TS ‘You said he would be safe, and then you pull such a crazy stunt?!’

‘Three.’

>TS ‘Is your recklessness the cause of Joe’s death?!’

>You backhand Twilight across the face, sending her tumbling backwards.

 

>RD ‘HEY!’

>You look over to see all of Twilight’s friends in shock, Rainbow Dash and Applejack both trying to get to you, but there was a feint pink aura surrounding them.

>You nod towards a knowing Celestia, and she gives you a stern look.

‘How dare you, Twilight Sparkle?!’

>She looks up at you, a red handprint marking her face, tears building in her eyes.

>TS ‘W-w-what…?’

‘How dare you ever think I would teach Spike something like that?! You want to learn, but you are racist or species-ist or whatever the fuck you want to call it.’

>She shakes away the tears, and stares anger at you.

>TS ‘Oh you think you can hit me because you are immune to magic?! You are so tough when picking on something that can’t fight back.’

>You open your car door, and pull out your tire iron.

>Everyone gasps, including Celestia.

>You drop the tire iron in front of Twilight.

‘There!’ She looks at it then to you. ‘Go on, you want a fair fight. Here’s your weapon. Pick it and bash my skull in.’

>TS ‘But…you…’

‘Come on! You were the one who accused me of putting Spike in harm’s way, you were the one who organised the attack on me. You were the one who brought up Joe’s name, saying I killed him. But you are right, Twilight Sparkle. I did hurt Spike. The filthy ape hurt your assistant. Go ahead Spike, tell her.’

 

>S ‘He’s right.’

>They all gasped, and you could see a purple aura surround the tire iron.

>S ‘Anon grabbed me and told me if I ever spoke bad about the one p0ny who worried about me, he wouldn’t hesitate to beat sense into me.’

>They all looked at you, as your heaved in anger.

‘Or how about picking on something that can’t fight back?! Well, I took on a fucking monster that was responsible for Miggy’s death, some sort of carnivorous jungle walrus that lives in YOUR FUCKED UP JUNGLE!!’

>Twilight recoils from your anger.

‘I guess I’d be better off dead, so you might as well finish me off.’

>You look at Twilight, and she was almost about to cry.

‘Go on, do it… might as well.’

>TS ‘I’m sorry…’

‘What?’

>Twilight looks into your eyes. ‘I’m so sorry. I got carried away, and I let my emotions lead me… I didn’t know you would stand up for me.’

‘I didn’t do it for you. I did it for Spike. And I’d do it for any of you p0nies. I don’t care who or what you are, or even that you tried to kill me. I doubt I will find a way home, so I can’t be a total dick.’

>PC ‘Anon?’

>You look up to see Celestia standing near you.

>PC ‘What did you say this creature looked like?’

‘A walrus. Big mother fucker too. Had sharp teeth and claws on its flippers, made a sound like WONK!’

>PC ‘Anon…I don’t know how to tell you this, but…’

‘But…’

>PC ‘The creature you described… it seems like a Dingonek.’