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Jibber's Coming to Town

By: DriverbangOther on Dec 22nd, 2012 | syntax: None | size: 29.96 KB | hits: 337 | expires: Never

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A gift for this writer: http://pastebin.com/u/Jibber
>Wake up
>Shit, shower, and shave
>You’ve been back home for about a week now
>You travel the world often
>Trying to learn about this magical place
>A fellow writer sent you here over a year ago
>You’ve made many friends, but the ones in Ponyville always miss you the most
>There’s a knock on your door
>You open it slowly
>It’s Fluttershy
>But she’s all gooey
>Slimeshy
>Oh god
>You have a boner now
>”Jibber is slime your fetish?”
>You nod
“When is something not my fetish?”
>She blushes
>”You have a lot of f-fetishes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of….”
>Her hoof rubs the ground nervously
>”I don’t see you very often anymore, and I was thinking we could have a nice cup of cocoa at my cottage.”
>”Then we can have some f-fun~.”
“Sorry Fluttershy, you know how I feel about this.”
>She nods
>”I-I know, sorry Jibber.”
>You pat her head
“It’s fine. I’ll see you later I’ve got a class of kids waiting for me.”
>Cheerilee has invited you over to teach her class about your culture
>Specifically Christmas
>You’ve pack some supplies, and Rarity made you a Santa hat
>The kids will love it
>You walk on towards your destination
>You’re glad none of the ponies were as psycho as they were in your trilogy
>They’re all a bit crazy though
>Fluttershy may decide to force you into sleeping with her later on
>You’re walking through the marketplace when you’re stopped by Applejack
>You still feel nervous talking to her
>She’s your favorite, and you try not to have a crazy fanboy moment
>You could potentially end world hunger if you managed to spill spaghetti when talking to her
>Luckily that hasn’t happened yet
>Applejack is a nice pony too
>She tosses you an apple
>You catch it
>”Howdy Jibber!”
“Hi Applejack.”
>”We’re glad you came back to us, Jib, Manehattan ‘aint a place for somep0ny like you.”
“It’s not dangerous or anything.”
>Applejack shakes her head
>”I mean you belong here Jibber, with us.”
>She gives you a hopeful smile
>”That’s why I want to invite ya over for Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
>”You may not think you have a family, but you do.”
>Her statement melts, and breaks your heart at the same time
“I’m sorry Applejack, but I’m planning on leaving for the Griffon Kingdom tomorrow.”
>”But you’ve only been back for a week!”
“I know, I know, but the Friendship Express won’t make another trip there for another two months.”
>Applejack sighs
>”Alright Jibber.”
>She moves out from behind her stall and hugs your waist
>”Just don’t forget about us, y’hear?”
>Nod and eat the apple
>You hug her as best as you can with all the things you’re carrying
>After a few more minutes of traveling, you arrive at the Schoolhouse
>All the colts and fillies stare at you
>Some aren’t used to the sight of a human
>Cheerilee smiles
>”Just on time Jibber! Class I’d like to introduce you to Mr.Jibber.”
>You walk over to her
>Face the class
>They all greet you in their sweet little voices
>Cheerilee begins to go over your origin in that sweet voice of hers
>She made it sound more exciting than it actually was
>Then she turns to you
>”So, Mr.Jibber what holiday do they celebrate where you’re from?”
“I’m glad you asked, we celebrate Christmas. It’s on the same day as Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
“We have decorated trees, and candy canes. But it’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.”
>Truffle Shuffle raises his hand
“Yes?”
>”What’s a Jesus?”
>You pull out a sketch of jesus
“He’s believed to be our savoir, the one who died for our sins.”
>Sweetie Belle gasps
>”W-we killed Jesus?!”
“Um no, well see there’s this religion called Christianit-“
>Half the class is already snoring
>Sigh
“Wait! It gets better! There’s this jolly magical man dressed in red.”
>Applebloom frowns
>”You told me humans can’t use magic.”
>Oh boy
>When you explained Santa to Twilight she would not let this go
>It took four hours to get her to not prattle on about it
“He’s special. His name is Santa Claus. He travels around the world to give presents.”
>This gets all their attention
“He rides on a sleigh pulled by 8 reindeer.”
>”Do the reindeer also give out presents?”
>Oops
>Reindeer aren’t just animals in this world
“Maybe.”
>You clear your throat
“He goes into your house at night….”
>Scootaloo looks scared
>”That’s a bit creepy.”
“But he’ll give you whatever you ask for, if you’re nice and not naughty.”
>”Cool!”
>”Will he come here?”
>”Are you Sandy Claws Mr.Jibber?”
“No, no no. I’m no Santa.”
>You roll out your hand drawn map of your world
>Show them the north pole and where you lived
“See? Santa lives over there, and I lived over here.”
>Twist raises her hoof
“Yes?”
>”But Santha Claus also lives in Can-ooo-da.”
>You chuckle
>Looks like someone was paying attention to the map
“I guess he sort of does, but no I’m not Santa.”
>Diamon Tiara groans
>”Who cares about some Monkey’s freaky version of Hearth’s Warming Eve?”
>Applebloom looks offended
>”You take that back!”
>”Yeah!”
>Sweetie Belle squeaks
>”He’s a very nice, and not freaky, monkey!”
>…Thanks Sweetie Belle
>Cheerilee clears her throat
>They all look at her
>”Mr.Jibber does Santa give presents to all the kids?”
“No he gives them coal if they’ve been mean.”
>”Diamond Tiara, if you were a human this behavior would only get you coal.”
>”Be polite to our guest.”
>Diamon Tiara grumbles to herself after a forced apology
>Soon Cheerilee calls for recess, and you’re talking with her
>She wants you to work with her at the Schoolhouse
>Especially since you mentioned your profession back on Earth
>”Trust me Jibber, you’re good at this.”
“Oh I’m not awful, but I’m not the greatest.”
>Cheerilee gives you a sultry look
>”To me, you are.”
>She approaches you
>You and her have been good friends for some time
>She has a crush on you, but she knows about your aversion to ponies
>When you actually have to live with them, it’s actually quite hard to not feel a bit of an aversion to a relationship with one
>They don’ look bad, but they look alien
“Look Cheerilee, I know what you’re going to ask.”
>Sigh
“I’m traveling, and I just can’t…..sorry.”
>She stops smiling
>You hug her
“I’ll be back eventually alright?”
>She is silent for a long moment, but then nods
>You excuse yourself outside
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders are waiting for you there
>They’ve grown a bit since you’ve last seen them
>”Jibber!”
>They cry out and tackle your legs
“Wow you’re all starting to look less like little fillies.”
>Scootaloo pouts
>”We’re not ‘little’ fillies…”
>Ruffle her mane
“Being youthful isn’t a bad thing, Scoots.”
>Sweetie Belle smiles expectantly and you ruffle her mane as well
>Applebloom squeals in mock horror, as you ruffle hers last
“I missed you three, are you any closer to finding your cutie marks?”
>Sweetie Belle kicks the ground
>”No….”
>Applebloom chimes in
>”But we’re hoping to get them before spring!”
>Scootaloo nods
>”I thought we were really close with that fireworks idea.”
>Applebloom frowns
>”But my brother made us clean up the entire orchard for that!”
“Well, that sounded like hard work. What are you all doing for Hearth’s Warming Eve?”
>Sweetie Belle smiles
>”I’m going to help Rarity make something for mom and dad!”
>She hops around
>”Then she said she would make something special for me!”
>Scootaloo tries to hide her excitement
>”Well I’m going to try and invite Rainbow Dash to my house!”
>She flutters her little wings
>”My parents said I was allowed to bring her over.”
>”I just hope she says yes! No, I know she will!”
>You smile
>It turns out Scootaloo wasn’t an orphan
>You asked if she had parents, one day
>It ended with you meeting her entire extended family as well as her parents
>That was a strange day
>Applebloom walks up to you and nuzzles you
>”Mr.Jibber?”
“Just call me Jibber.”
>”We’re not doin’ much for Hearth’s Warming Eve, just Applejack, Big Mac, Granny Smith, and I.”
>”It’s gonna be a nice family dinner, and maybe you would like to come over?”
>You sigh
>She sort of saw you as a father figure
>It was hard enough turning down Applejack, but now Applebloom?
“Sorry…Applebloom.”
>You can see her heart sink
>”B-but….maybe you can come over to celebrate Christmas or somethin’?”
>Applebloom gives you puppy dog eyes
>”Pleeeeeeeeeease?”
>Hnnnnng!
>Must resist….
“No. That would be nice, but I’m going somewhere.”
>You feel so guilty now
>”But you’re always going somewhere….”
>You pat her head
“I know, I know.”
>You wave them all goodbye and head on home
>Unbeknownst to you, Applebloom runs off from her friends
>She looks extremely hurt over this
>As you pack and prepare, you’re plagued with guilty thoughts
>Why do you need to go to the Griffon Kingdom so soon?
>You’re never really settled down
>Does a part of you want to find Earth?
>A better place than here?
>It’s for knowledge you tell yourself
>But who will you have left to share it with at this rate?
>Damn these thoughts
>You shrug them off as you go off to sleep
>You are now Applebloom
>You’re looking out at your window
>Just thinking
>Jibber is so nice
>He’s always helped out around the farm
>Given you advice
>Everyp0ny in your family likes him
>And yet
>He always leaves and goes places
>More and more often
>You feel jealous that he’s going to be spending Hearth’s Warming Eve with other ponies or creatures
>Doesn’t he know that he’s like family to you?
>It’s very late now
>Your eyes start fighting you
>You blink a few times to keep awake longer
>You’re about to go to bed when you see something bright flash across the sky
>It’s a shooting star
>You’ve always heard in old stories they could grant wishes
>You have one on your mind right now
>”I wish….I wish Anon would stay and celebrate…..Christmas.”
>You smile
>He’d want to celebrate Christmas
>After all Santer Clons sounds nice
>You just want Jibber to stay
>Somehow
>In some way
>You go to bed
>Wishing
>You are now Jibber
>You wake up and throw off your sheets
>Get dressed, grab your suitcase
>Drink some coffee, and walk towards your door
>You hear some activity outside
>Is it Fluttershy?
>You open your door
>Holy shit!
>The entire outside is covered in snow
>Not just a little snow like before
>But it looks like it could go up to your thighs
>Who planned this?
>This isn’t Earth
>Things like this just don’t happen
>You look around
>The front of your house is clear of snow
>Thanks to …Fluttershy
>She’s singing and shoveling away the snow
>A bear and some other animals are helping
>How does one use a shovel with hooves anyway?
>”Oh Jibber! I’m glad you’re awake!”
>She flutters over to you
>”Th-the train station and taxi services are all canceled this week.”
“What?!”
>”It’s all the snow! There’s going to be a lot of snowstorms and the weather ponies can’t seem to stop it!”
>That doesn’t sound good
>Actually that’s awful
“I’m supposed to be in the Griffon Kingdom by late afternoon!”
>Fluttershy gives you a sympathetic smile
>”Well at least you can stay a bit longer.”
>”If you wouldn’t mind, we could spend today at my cottage.”
>She’s still making a pass at you?
“No, I need to get this all figured out. Sorry.”
>You start to walk away
“Thanks for clearing the snow around my house.”
>”Oh, but I insist Jibber.”
“No that’s fine.”
>You hear her horse snort and drag her hoof along the ground
>”I’m ‘insisting’ if that’s okay with you mister.”
>Time to run
>Drop your suitcase
>She charges at you, but you’re already sprinting away
>It’s a struggle to not trip and hit the ground
>Everything is so slippery
>That or you’re falling into deep snow
>You’re shivering and miserable
>You hide inside Sugarcube Corner
>Fluttershy calls out that she can keep you warm, and that your clothes are too wet to wear
>She’s still searching
>”Jibber?”
>Yelp
>Oh it’s Applebloom
>”You haven’t left yet?”
>She looks hopeful
“No the train ride is cancelled.”
>”Really?!”
“Yeah….”
>”Well then maybe y-“
>You see Fluttershy approach
“Got to go!”
>You run off
>Look around the area
>You need to head to an area with less snow
>You turn a few corners, and find an area with a bunch of snow bundled up
>There’s a panel of judges walking around
>Looking at snowponies
>Wow a competition already?
>You decide to pass by
>But a certain pink pony has other plans
>Pinkie Pie stands in your way
>Move aside
>She moves to block you again
>Move aside
>Blocks you once more
“You’re not gonna let me leave unless I build something with you, right?”
>She nods frantically
>You run over to a large pile of snow
>You work quickly
>She just watches
>Unsure of what you’re making
>It’s a snowman
>”Wow! That looks really funny!”
>She giggles
>The judges appear
>”This isn’t a pony.”
>It’s disqualified
>Assholes
>You’re about to leave when Fluttershy charges into the snowman
>Pinkie Pie gets pushed into the snowman
>Fluttershy squeaks and realizes that this isn’t you
>She concentrates
>Looks at the snowman and then at you
>Pinkie Pie groans within the snowman
“Take the snowman! It’s also um human?”
>”No! Take Jibber, he’s jibber and human!”
“It’s Snowman season!”
>”Jibber season!”
“Snowman season!”
>”Jibber season!”
>Fluttershy looks at the snowman and then you
>Very confused
“Snowman season!”
>”Snowman season!”
“Jibber season!”
>”It’s obviously Snowman season!”
“No, it’s Jibber season!”
>Fluttershy pounces on you
>”Y-yes it is, mister.”
>Oh god!
>Close your eyes
>You can feel her, but you don’t want to see her
>But nothing happens to you
>You open your eyes slowly
>You’re in the library?
>You orient yourself, and inspect the area
>Twilight is galloping around
>Taking notes and panicking
“What’s wrong?”
>”It’s the snow!”
>Okay
>That’s obvious
“And…?”
>”It’s because of you!”
>Twilight pulls out a complicated diagram of magical equations
“Just give me the gist of it.”
>”Somep0ny made a wish and it was granted!”
>Whoa
>Really?
>Well, if dragons are possible so are wishes…
>She points to a long equation
>”I tried finding the focus of all this magic, and it’s you Jibber.”
“I didn’t make a wish….”
>Twilight looks surprised
>”Are you sure?”
>Twilight Sparkle studies your face
>”The snow is only going to get worse.”
“Well I do wish we had Christmas here…”
>Twilight Sparkle gasps
>”That’s it! We need to bring Christmas to Equestria!”
>She teleports away and comes back with a bunch of notes
“Are you sure? This is all a bit strange.”
>She nods
>”We need to do this.”
>You hope this works
>An hour later and you’re beside Twilight outside of Town Hall
>All of Ponyville has attended
>Everyone actually looks quite worried
>Especially since Rainbow Dash announced that the weather ponies can’t seem to stop the snow
>”Hello everyp0ny! As you can see, we have a problem on our hooves.”
>Someone calls out
>”Is it windigos?”
>There’s lots of muttering
>”No it can’t be!”
>”Of course it can be, you of all ponies should know about being hateful!”
>Twilight shouts
>”Be quiet!”
>The arguing stops
>”Jibber here accidentally made a wish and it’s causing the snow.”
>You blush
>You still don’t think you made the wish, but the snow is connected to you in someway
>All eyes are on you
>Wave slowly
>”To fix this, we must celebrate Christmas!”
>More muttering
>”It’s like Hearth’s Warming Eve, it’ll be fine.”
>”There’ll be presents for everyone by Santa Claus.”
>Santa?
>”Who’s Santa?”
>Twilight spends the next half hour explaining it to everyone
>Half of the town still finds the concept a bit odd
>”Where’s Santa?”
>Twilight Sparkle giggles
>”You’re looking right at him”
>She motions a hoof to you
>WHAT?!!!
>After the town meeting, you’re arguing with Twilight back at the library
“Twilight I’m not Santa! I’ve got the hat, sure, but not the clothes and the beard, or the resources!”
>”But you’re both from Cannoli.”
“Canada.”
>Well he could be Russian though
>But that would muddy the issue
>”Canadia, right. Jibber, Equestria needs you.”
>Sigh in an exasperated manner
“Okay…”
>You try to stroke your beard
>But you don’t have one
“Santa Claus is coming to town…”
>It’s the next day
>The snow has gotten worse
>Your house is filled with snow
>You had the exit from your chimney
>Well
>You got practice
>Sorta…
>Currently, you’re outside the library
>Sitting on a chair
>While half of Equestria waits in line to sit on your lap
>While Twilight records what they want
>Some are cute little foals
>Others are adult ponies
>They all want bellyrubs
>”I want a new set of silverware, oh! Also some that 50 shades of hay book!”
>You nod slowly and rub Roseluck’s belly
>Twilight scribbles it down
>”Next!”
“Who’s paying for all of this Twilight?”
>”Taxpayers.”
“Oh.”
>Roseluck gets off and trots away
>A mint green unicorn jumps onto your lap
>Grunt
>It’s Lyra
>Shudder
>She’s creepy
>Not to the extent that you wrote her in Lyra’s Misery
>But she is obsessed with your hands
>You slowly rub her belly while she gives you the bedroom eyes
>Twilight Sparkle clears her throat
>Lyra realizes that she’s supposed to ask for what she wants
>”Sandy Claws? Can I have hands?”
“I give gifts, not miracles.”
>”Artificial hands?”
>Shudder
>Your own story comes to mind
>Maybe she is as bad as the Lyra in your story
>She tries to suck on your fingers, but Twilight shoos her away
>Who’s next?
>Your eyes widen
>Iron Will stomps over to you
>He sits down on your lap
“Arg! Unf! Oooooow.”
>Deep breath
>Twilight Sparkle prepares her quill
>But he is silent
>”Why is this Santaman not rubbing Iron Will’s hard abs?”
>You rub his abs reluctantly
>He shouts
>”Rub harder!”
>You do so
>”Iron Will would like the entire Beanie Foals plushie collection!”
>Luckily that was all he wanted
>Then he walks off
>Pant a bit
>Your lap is going to be sore for a bit
>Luna flies onto your lap
“Ssssss ow.”
>Sigh
>Wait
“Princess Luna?”
>”Yes! We would like to be part of this modern holiday!”
>”Mr.Claus! We demand a book!”
>Twilight writes it down
“On?”
>Her voice softens
>”Being…’cool’.”
“Okay.”
>She looks at you expectantly
>….
>Rub her belly
>She flies off, extremely giddy
>Who’s next?
>Applebloom approaches
>She smiles
>Aaaaaw
>You pick her up and set her down on your lap
>You rub her belly gently and tickle her chin
>”Ji- Santa?”
“Yes?”
>She looks at you hopefully
>”Can Jibber come over for Christmas?”
>”That’s all I want.”
“Hohoho….that’s not possible Applebloom.”
>”But it is possible! All he has to do is come over!”
>Damn it
“Look Applebloom I don’t have time for this, I have to stop the snow.”
>”I know how! But you’re too much of a jerk to see it!”
>She hops off your lap
>She’s in tears
“Wait Applebloom!”
>Applebloom gallops off
>Sigh
>She’ll be happy when you get rid of all this snow
>It’ll be fine…
>Afterwards you’re eating with Twilight and Spike in the Library
>Planning out how this will be done
>You’re tired out, that took all day
>Tomorrow is when you’re supposed to deliver these presents
>There’s a knock on the door
>Spike answers it
>Applejack comes in with a bunch of pastries
>”Hey yall. I came as soon as ya asked Twilight.”
>What’s this about?
>Your stomach growls
>Applejack sets down the pastries
>”Eat up Jibber.”
>Thank her and chow down
>Apple pies
>Apple fritter
>Candy apples
>Applesauce
>All delicious
>You notice you’re the only one eating
“Is something wrong?”
>Twilight shakes her head
>”Nothing.”
>Applejack chuckles
>”She’s trying to fatten you up, so you look like Santa Clown.”
“Claus.”
>”Oh heh yeah.”
“I’m not going to get fat that fast, nor do I want to.”
>Get up
>Silly Twilight
“Also don’t cast the beard spell on me either.”
“Goodnight everyone.”
>Leave
>You’ll admit, it felt really manipulative
>And it sort of pissed you off
>Snowflakes are falling quite heavily
>You are mesmerized by them as you walk home
>Along the way you spot Cheerilee
>She’s catching them with her mouth
>You grin
>Ponies look very cute when they do that
>You walk over to her
>She hears you approach
>The crunching sound from the snow makes it quite loud
“Hey, it’s quite cold out here.”
>”I noticed.”
>She giggles
>Oh...yeah duh....
>”Come join me Jibber, don’t just sit there.”
>You position yourself beside her
>Open your mouth
>You catch a few flakes with her
>For a few minutes that’s all you do together
>It’s silent and tranquil
>Cheerilee breaks the silence
>”Jibber?”
“Hmmm?”
>”This Santa stuff, it seems unrelated to the thing about Jegus.”
“Jesus”
>She gasps
>”Oh sorry, Jesus.”
“Really Christmas is about family and friends.”
>”Wouldn’t Hearth’s Warming Eve work then?”
“I guess they are similar in that sense, but….well I’m just doing this to appease Twilight. Something is wrong with the weather, and hopefully this will fix it.”
>Shrug
>”Maybe we should sing some carols. Those always bring everyp0ny together. Do they have carols on your world?”
“Yeah of course.”
>”Can you sing me one?”
>She looks genuinely interested
>Nod
>Deep breath
Silent night… Holy night…
All is calm all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace!
Sleep in heavenly peace!
Silent night! Holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah
Christ the Saviour is born!
Christ the Saviour is born!
Silent night! Holy night!
Son of God love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,
>”That was beautiful.”
>Cheerilee is leaning on you
>She gives you a loving smile
>Move away quickly
“Whoa whoa whoa!”
>Smile nervously
“Um sorry you surprised me. I’ll see you tomorrow right?”
>She nods
>”Be safe Jibber.”
“Y-you too.”
>Turn around
>”Hey Jibber?”
“Yes?”
>”Is there such thing as an Mrs.Claus?”
>Oh geez!
>You walk away quickly
>Hiding your massive blush
>Damn it!
>Why did you have to react so awkwardly to that?
>You go to sleep dreaming of your favorite bubble gum pony teacher
>Wake up from loud knocking
>Check the time
>6 AM
>Open the door
>Twilight Sparkle is there
>”Come on Jibber we need to go now!”
“It’s not nighttime yet.”
>”Timezones, Jibber.”
“Right.”
>You follow her to Carousel Boutique
>Rarity made you a complete Santa costume
>For some reason you feel badass wearing it
>Rarity was wearing a weird toucan costume
“Why are you dressed like a toucan?”
>”Jibber I am not a toucan! I am an elf!”
>Whisper to Twilight
“Elves don’t look like that.”
>”Oh….then what do they look like?”
“Humans with pointy ears.”
>”But wouldn’t they just be a different type of human?”
>….
>….
“Nevermind, let’s go.”
>You and Twilight go to the outskirts of town
>As you approach the designated spot your eyes widen
>There’s a huge sled
>And an equally large bag
>Twilight motions for you to get on the sled
>You take your seat, and Twilight takes hers
>Fluttershy turns her head towards you
>She smiles and it appears she is wearing a pair of fake antlers
>There are also other pegasi
>Rainbow Dash
>Flitter
>Cloudchaser
>Derpy…?
>Snowflake
>And
>SPITFIRE?!
“Oh my god Spitfire!”
>Spitfire grins
“Can I have your autograph?”
>Spitfire chuckles
>”Get in line.”
>She motions to Rainbow Dash
“Well it’s good to have you all with me.”
>”Jibber, t-try the reins.”
>You whip them lightly with the reins
>They all look a bit offended
>Except for Fluttershy
>She’s moaning
“Stop Fluttershy, it’s also my fetish.”
>”Oh okay, I’ll remember that later mister.”
“Twilight how are we going to get this off the ground? It’s heavy.”
>Twilight’s horn glows brightly
>”Now everything should weigh less, don’t worry I’ll take care of most of this.”
>That’s a relief
“Alright, now we just need to be able to see in this foggy, stormy, and snowy weather.”
>Derpy calls out
>”Took care of it!”
“You did?”
>She nods and shows you a glowing lightbulb attached to her muzzle
“How did you know about Rudolph?”
>”Who?”
“Erm, let’s just go.”
“Reindeer, are you ready?”
>”Of course.”
>”Always ready!”
>”Sure.”
>”YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!”
>”Uh huh.”
>”Are we leaving now?”
>”Spitfire standing by.”
>The pegasi start running and running
>Then they spread their wings and take flight
>It’s like a more bizarre carriage ride
>Twilight tells you to guide them towards certain houses
>You just drop the presents in the chimney
>It’s actually relaxing
>But Twilight doesn’t seem so relaxed
>”We’re going too slow!”
“What? I thought we’re making great time!”
>”We’re not even halfway done!”
“Alright, uh Spitfire, and Dash speed us up!”
>Dash chuckles
>”I thought you’d never ask!”
>She speeds up along with Spitfire
>A little too fast
>She rainboom’d
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
>You would be concerned about the bag falling out
>Or possibly dying from too much g-force
>But right now you’re just terrified
>Luckily you didn’t miss any houses along the way
>You don’t want this sled making too many sharp turns
>Many hours later……..
>You vomit from the side of the sled
>It’s one hour before midnight
>This was a long day
>And all the reindeer…erm pegasi are tired
“H-how many presents are left?”
>”Just a few more, and then back to Ponyville we go!”
>”But we need to not waste any time! It’s almost midnight!”
>You nod
>Then it’s Christmas Day, or Hearth’s Warming Day
>Your sled lands on Canterlot Castle
“There’s no chimney….”
>Luna is beside you
“Oh here you go.”
>Give it to her
>She begins to read through her book
>”It seems we have much to learn to become ‘cool’.”
>You jump back into the sled
“40 minutes! Who’s next?”
>”The diamond dogs!”
>Really?
>Oh right, you remember them sitting on your lap
>They had fleas
>Ugh
>You fly the sled over to the quarry
>Dump a bunch of bones into the holes
>”20 minutes!”
“Who’s left?”
>”Zecora!”
>It seems like an eternity when you finally arrive over her hut
>Drop a ….
>Bong(?)
>Unwrap gift
>It’s an oil lantern
>Oooooh
>Well now that it’s delivered, you hop onto the sled again
>You have the sled rush out of the Everfree Forest
>There’s the designated landing area
>By Town Hall
>There will be a crowd waiting to greet you
>Twiligt looks giddy
>”We did it Jibber! We did it!”
>You nod
>The sled comes in for a landing
>The “reindeer” land and all of them collapse in exhaustion
>You strike a pose
“Well the snow is gone! Merry Christmas everyone!”
>Smile
>No one is cheering
>Look upwards
>The snowstorm is still raging as strong as ever
>Your heart sinks
>That was all for nothing?
>Twilight Sparkle looks mortified
>”But we succeeded! We had a Christmas in Equestria.”
>All the ponies are shivering
>One of the crowd calls out
>”This Christmouse thing was a waste of time!”
>A few boo at you, and throw things
>There’s arguing among the crowd
>But there’s one calm and clear voice
>”Silent Night….”
>Cheerilee?
>”Holy night.”
>”All is calm all is bright.”
>Twilight joins her
>”Round yon virgin mother and child”
>Applebloom is singing too?
>She and her family came to watch
>They join in with her
>”Holy infant so tender and mild.”
>The crowd begins to sing as well
>They’re all quite good at singing
>”Sleep in heavenly peace!”
>”Sleep in heavenly peace!”
>”Silent night! Holy night!”
>”Shepherds quake at the sight”
>You join in
Glories stream from heaven afar
>”Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah”
Christ the Saviour is born!
>”Christ the Saviour is born!”
Silent night! Holy night!
>”Son of God love's pure light”
>”Radiant beams from thy holy face”
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
>”Jesus, Lord at thy birth,”
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,
>There’s a bright light
>A large flaming heart appears above you all
>Everyone applauds
>You rush over to Cheerilee
“Thanks for that.”
>”No problem Jibber.”
“I guess we were missing the point.”
>Shrug at Twilight
“I’ve been missing the point…..both holidays, they’re about friends and family.”
>”And lovers…”
>You grin
>Your lips meet and brush across each other
>You kiss her for a few moments
>Until Applebloom pokes your leg
>You pick her up
“All this time I’ve been neglecting my family. I’m sorry Applebloom.”
>You set her down
>And hug her
>She hugs you back
>”It’s a wish come true.”
>The snow stops falling
>The wind stops howling
>The sky clears up
>Everyone cheers, and then looks at your hug with Applebloom
>Many d’aaaaw
>One by one, ponies join the hug
“Merry Christmas Applebloom.”
>”Happy Hearth’s Warming, Jibber.”
>Tonight was a good night
>END

create a new version of this paste RAW Paste Data

A gift for this writer: http://pastebin.com/u/Jibber
>Wake up
>Shit, shower, and shave
>You’ve been back home for about a week now
>You travel the world often
>Trying to learn about this magical place
>A fellow writer sent you here over a year ago
>You’ve made many friends, but the ones in Ponyville always miss you the most
>There’s a knock on your door
>You open it slowly
>It’s Fluttershy
>But she’s all gooey 
>Slimeshy
>Oh god
>You have a boner now
>”Jibber is slime your fetish?”
>You nod
“When is something not my fetish?”
>She blushes
>”You have a lot of f-fetishes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of….”
>Her hoof rubs the ground nervously
>”I don’t see you very often anymore, and I was thinking we could have a nice cup of cocoa at my cottage.”
>”Then we can have some f-fun~.”
“Sorry Fluttershy, you know how I feel about this.”
>She nods
>”I-I know, sorry Jibber.”
>You pat her head
“It’s fine.  I’ll see you later I’ve got a class of kids waiting for me.”
>Cheerilee has invited you over to teach her class about your culture
>Specifically Christmas
>You’ve pack some supplies, and Rarity made you a Santa hat
>The kids will love it
>You walk on towards your destination
>You’re glad none of the ponies were as psycho as they were in your trilogy
>They’re all a bit crazy though
>Fluttershy may decide to force you into sleeping with her later on
>You’re walking through the marketplace when you’re stopped by Applejack
>You still feel nervous talking to her
>She’s your favorite, and you try not to have a crazy fanboy moment
>You could potentially end world hunger if you managed to spill spaghetti when talking to her
>Luckily that hasn’t happened yet
>Applejack is a nice pony too
>She tosses you an apple
>You catch it
>”Howdy Jibber!”
“Hi Applejack.”
>”We’re glad you came back to us, Jib, Manehattan ‘aint a place for somep0ny like you.”
“It’s not dangerous or anything.”
>Applejack shakes her head
>”I mean you belong here Jibber, with us.”
>She gives you a hopeful smile
>”That’s why I want to invite ya over for Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
>”You may not think you have a family, but you do.”
>Her statement melts, and breaks your heart at the same time
“I’m sorry Applejack, but I’m planning on leaving for the Griffon Kingdom tomorrow.”
>”But you’ve only been back for a week!”
“I know, I know, but the Friendship Express won’t make another trip there for another two months.”
>Applejack sighs
>”Alright Jibber.”
>She moves out from behind her stall and hugs your waist
>”Just don’t forget about us, y’hear?”
>Nod and eat the apple
>You hug her as best as you can with all the things you’re carrying
>After a few more minutes of traveling, you arrive at the Schoolhouse
>All the colts and fillies stare at you
>Some aren’t used to the sight of a human
>Cheerilee smiles
>”Just on time Jibber! Class I’d like to introduce you to Mr.Jibber.”
>You walk over to her
>Face the class
>They all greet you in their sweet little voices
>Cheerilee begins to go over your origin in that sweet voice of hers
>She made it sound more exciting than it actually was
>Then she turns to you
>”So, Mr.Jibber what holiday do they celebrate where you’re from?”
“I’m glad you asked, we celebrate Christmas. It’s on the same day as Hearth’s Warming Eve.”
“We have decorated trees, and candy canes. But it’s about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.”
>Truffle Shuffle raises his hand
“Yes?”
>”What’s a Jesus?”
>You pull out a sketch of jesus
“He’s believed to be our savoir, the one who died for our sins.”
>Sweetie Belle gasps
>”W-we killed Jesus?!”
“Um no, well see there’s this religion called Christianit-“
>Half the class is already snoring
>Sigh
“Wait! It gets better! There’s this jolly magical man dressed in red.”
>Applebloom frowns
>”You told me humans can’t use magic.”
>Oh boy
>When you explained Santa to Twilight she would not let this go
>It took four hours to get her to not prattle on about it
“He’s special. His name is Santa Claus. He travels around the world to give presents.”
>This gets all their attention
“He rides on a sleigh pulled by 8 reindeer.”
>”Do the reindeer also give out presents?”
>Oops
>Reindeer aren’t just animals in this world
“Maybe.”
>You clear your throat
“He goes into your house at night….”
>Scootaloo looks scared
>”That’s a bit creepy.”
“But he’ll give you whatever you ask for, if you’re nice and not naughty.”
>”Cool!”
>”Will he come here?”
>”Are you Sandy Claws Mr.Jibber?”
“No, no no. I’m no Santa.”
>You roll out your hand drawn map of your world
>Show them the north pole and where you lived
“See? Santa lives over there, and I lived over here.”
>Twist raises her hoof
“Yes?”
>”But Santha Claus also lives in Can-ooo-da.”
>You chuckle
>Looks like someone was paying attention to the map
“I guess he sort of does, but no I’m not Santa.”
>Diamon Tiara groans
>”Who cares about some Monkey’s freaky version of Hearth’s Warming Eve?”
>Applebloom looks offended
>”You take that back!”
>”Yeah!”
>Sweetie Belle squeaks
>”He’s a very nice, and not freaky, monkey!”
>…Thanks Sweetie Belle
>Cheerilee clears her throat
>They all look at her
>”Mr.Jibber does Santa give presents to all the kids?”
“No he gives them coal if they’ve been mean.”
>”Diamond Tiara, if you were a human this behavior would only get you coal.”
>”Be polite to our guest.”
>Diamon Tiara grumbles to herself after a forced apology
>Soon Cheerilee calls for recess, and you’re talking with her
>She wants you to work with her at the Schoolhouse
>Especially since you mentioned your profession back on Earth
>”Trust me Jibber, you’re good at this.”
“Oh I’m not awful, but I’m not the greatest.”
>Cheerilee gives you a sultry look
>”To me, you are.”
>She approaches you
>You and her have been good friends for some time
>She has a crush on you, but she knows about your aversion to ponies
>When you actually have to live with them, it’s actually quite hard to not feel a bit of an aversion to a relationship with one
>They don’ look bad, but they look alien
“Look Cheerilee, I know what you’re going to ask.”
>Sigh
“I’m traveling, and I just can’t…..sorry.”
>She stops smiling
>You hug her
“I’ll be back eventually alright?”
>She is silent for a long moment, but then nods
>You excuse yourself outside
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders are waiting for you there
>They’ve grown a bit since you’ve last seen them
>”Jibber!”
>They cry out and tackle your legs
“Wow you’re all starting to look less like little fillies.”
>Scootaloo pouts
>”We’re not ‘little’ fillies…”
>Ruffle her mane
“Being youthful isn’t a bad thing, Scoots.”
>Sweetie Belle smiles expectantly and you ruffle her mane as well
>Applebloom squeals in mock horror, as you ruffle hers last
“I missed you three, are you any closer to finding your cutie marks?”
>Sweetie Belle kicks the ground
>”No….”
>Applebloom chimes in
>”But we’re hoping to get them before spring!”
>Scootaloo nods
>”I thought we were really close with that fireworks idea.”
>Applebloom frowns
>”But my brother made us clean up the entire orchard for that!”
“Well, that sounded like hard work. What are you all doing for Hearth’s Warming Eve?”
>Sweetie Belle smiles
>”I’m going to help Rarity make something for mom and dad!”
>She hops around
>”Then she said she would make something special for me!”
>Scootaloo tries to hide her excitement
>”Well I’m going to try and invite Rainbow Dash to my house!”
>She flutters her little wings
>”My parents said I was allowed to bring her over.”
>”I just hope she says yes! No, I know she will!”
>You smile
>It turns out Scootaloo wasn’t an orphan
>You asked if she had parents, one day
>It ended with you meeting her entire extended family as well as her parents
>That was a strange day
>Applebloom walks up to you and nuzzles you
>”Mr.Jibber?”
“Just call me Jibber.”
>”We’re not doin’ much for Hearth’s Warming Eve, just Applejack, Big Mac, Granny Smith, and I.”
>”It’s gonna be a nice family dinner, and maybe you would like to come over?”
>You sigh
>She sort of saw you as a father figure
>It was hard enough turning down Applejack, but now Applebloom?
“Sorry…Applebloom.”
>You can see her heart sink
>”B-but….maybe you can come over to celebrate Christmas or somethin’?”
>Applebloom gives you puppy dog eyes
>”Pleeeeeeeeeease?”
>Hnnnnng!
>Must resist….
“No. That would be nice, but I’m going somewhere.”
>You feel so guilty now
>”But you’re always going somewhere….”
>You pat her head
“I know, I know.”
>You wave them all goodbye and head on home
>Unbeknownst to you, Applebloom runs off from her friends
>She looks extremely hurt over this
>As you pack and prepare, you’re plagued with guilty thoughts
>Why do you need to go to the Griffon Kingdom so soon?
>You’re never really settled down
>Does a part of you want to find Earth?
>A better place than here?
>It’s for knowledge you tell yourself
>But who will you have left to share it with at this rate?
>Damn these thoughts
>You shrug them off as you go off to sleep

>You are now Applebloom
>You’re looking out at your window
>Just thinking
>Jibber is so nice
>He’s always helped out around the farm
>Given you advice
>Everyp0ny in your family likes him
>And yet
>He always leaves and goes places
>More and more often
>You feel jealous that he’s going to be spending Hearth’s Warming Eve with other ponies or creatures
>Doesn’t he know that he’s like family to you?
>It’s very late now
>Your eyes start fighting you
>You blink a few times to keep awake longer
>You’re about to go to bed when you see something bright flash across the sky
>It’s a shooting star
>You’ve always heard in old stories they could grant wishes
>You have one on your mind right now
>”I wish….I wish Anon would stay and celebrate…..Christmas.”
>You smile
>He’d want to celebrate Christmas
>After all Santer Clons sounds nice
>You just want Jibber to stay
>Somehow
>In some way
>You go to bed
>Wishing

>You are now Jibber
>You wake up and throw off your sheets
>Get dressed, grab your suitcase
>Drink some coffee, and walk towards your door
>You hear some activity outside
>Is it Fluttershy?
>You open your door
>Holy shit!
>The entire outside is covered in snow
>Not just a little snow like before
>But it looks like it could go up to your thighs
>Who planned this?
>This isn’t Earth
>Things like this just don’t happen
>You look around
>The front of your house is clear of snow
>Thanks to …Fluttershy
>She’s singing and shoveling away the snow
>A bear and some other animals are helping
>How does one use a shovel with hooves anyway?
>”Oh Jibber! I’m glad you’re awake!”
>She flutters over to you 
>”Th-the train station and taxi services are all canceled this week.”
“What?!”
>”It’s all the snow! There’s going to be a lot of snowstorms and the weather ponies can’t seem to stop it!”
>That doesn’t sound good
>Actually that’s awful
“I’m supposed to be in the Griffon Kingdom by late afternoon!”
>Fluttershy gives you a sympathetic smile
>”Well at least you can stay a bit longer.”
>”If you wouldn’t mind, we could spend today at my cottage.”
>She’s still making a pass at you?
“No, I need to get this all figured out. Sorry.”
>You start to walk away
“Thanks for clearing the snow around my house.”
>”Oh, but I insist Jibber.”
“No that’s fine.”
>You hear her horse snort and drag her hoof along the ground
>”I’m ‘insisting’ if that’s okay with you mister.”
>Time to run
>Drop your suitcase
>She charges at you, but you’re already sprinting away
>It’s a struggle to not trip and hit the ground
>Everything is so slippery
>That or you’re falling into deep snow
>You’re shivering and miserable
>You hide inside Sugarcube Corner 
>Fluttershy calls out that she can keep you warm, and that your clothes are too wet to wear
>She’s still searching
>”Jibber?”
>Yelp
>Oh it’s Applebloom
>”You haven’t left yet?”
>She looks hopeful
“No the train ride is cancelled.”
>”Really?!”
“Yeah….”
>”Well then maybe y-“
>You see Fluttershy approach
“Got to go!”
>You run off
>Look around the area
>You need to head to an area with less snow
>You turn a few corners, and find an area with a bunch of snow bundled up
>There’s a panel of judges walking around
>Looking at snowponies
>Wow a competition already?
>You decide to pass by
>But a certain pink pony has other plans
>Pinkie Pie stands in your way
>Move aside
>She moves to block you again
>Move aside
>Blocks you once more
“You’re not gonna let me leave unless I build something with you, right?”
>She nods frantically
>You run over to a large pile of snow
>You work quickly
>She just watches
>Unsure of what you’re making
>It’s a snowman
>”Wow! That looks really funny!”
>She giggles
>The judges appear
>”This isn’t a pony.”
>It’s disqualified
>Assholes
>You’re about to leave when Fluttershy charges into the snowman
>Pinkie Pie gets pushed into the snowman
>Fluttershy squeaks and realizes that this isn’t you
>She concentrates
>Looks at the snowman and then at you
>Pinkie Pie groans within the snowman
“Take the snowman! It’s also um human?”
>”No! Take Jibber, he’s jibber and human!”
“It’s Snowman season!”
>”Jibber season!”
“Snowman season!”
>”Jibber season!”
>Fluttershy looks at the snowman and then you
>Very confused
“Snowman season!”
>”Snowman season!”
“Jibber season!”
>”It’s obviously Snowman season!”
“No, it’s Jibber season!”
>Fluttershy pounces on you
>”Y-yes it is, mister.”
>Oh god!
>Close your eyes
>You can feel her, but you don’t want to see her
>But nothing happens to you
>You open your eyes slowly
>You’re in the library?
>You orient yourself, and inspect the area
>Twilight is galloping around
>Taking notes and panicking
“What’s wrong?”
>”It’s the snow!”
>Okay
>That’s obvious
“And…?”
>”It’s because of you!”
>Twilight pulls out a complicated diagram of magical equations 
“Just give me the gist of it.”
>”Somep0ny made a wish and it was granted!”
>Whoa
>Really?
>Well, if dragons are possible so are wishes…
>She points to a long equation
>”I tried finding the focus of all this magic, and it’s you Jibber.”
“I didn’t make a wish….”
>Twilight looks surprised
>”Are you sure?”
>Twilight Sparkle studies your face
>”The snow is only going to get worse.”
“Well I do wish we had Christmas here…”
>Twilight Sparkle gasps
>”That’s it! We need to bring Christmas to Equestria!”
>She teleports away and comes back with a bunch of notes
“Are you sure? This is all a bit strange.”
>She nods
>”We need to do this.”
>You hope this works
>An hour later and you’re beside Twilight outside of Town Hall
>All of Ponyville has attended 
>Everyone actually looks quite worried
>Especially since Rainbow Dash announced that the weather ponies can’t seem to stop the snow
>”Hello everyp0ny! As you can see, we have a problem on our hooves.”
>Someone calls out
>”Is it windigos?”
>There’s lots of muttering
>”No it can’t be!”
>”Of course it can be, you of all ponies should know about being hateful!”
>Twilight shouts
>”Be quiet!”
>The arguing stops
>”Jibber here accidentally made a wish and it’s causing the snow.”
>You blush
>You still don’t think you made the wish, but the snow is connected to you in someway
>All eyes are on you
>Wave slowly
>”To fix this, we must celebrate Christmas!”
>More muttering
>”It’s like Hearth’s Warming Eve, it’ll be fine.”
>”There’ll be presents for everyone by Santa Claus.”
>Santa?
>”Who’s Santa?”
>Twilight spends the next half hour explaining it to everyone
>Half of the town still finds the concept a bit odd
>”Where’s Santa?”
>Twilight Sparkle giggles
>”You’re looking right at him”
>She motions a hoof to you
>WHAT?!!!
>After the town meeting, you’re arguing with Twilight back at the library
“Twilight I’m not Santa! I’ve got the hat, sure, but not the clothes and the beard, or the resources!”
>”But you’re both from Cannoli.”
“Canada.”
>Well he could be Russian though
>But that would muddy the issue
>”Canadia, right. Jibber, Equestria needs you.”
>Sigh in an exasperated manner
“Okay…” 
>You try to stroke your beard
>But you don’t have one
“Santa Claus is coming to town…”

>It’s the next day
>The snow has gotten worse
>Your house is filled with snow
>You had the exit from your chimney
>Well
>You got practice 
>Sorta…
>Currently, you’re outside the library
>Sitting on a chair
>While half of Equestria waits in line to sit on your lap
>While Twilight records what they want
>Some are cute little foals
>Others are adult ponies
>They all want bellyrubs
>”I want a new set of silverware, oh! Also some that 50 shades of hay book!”
>You nod slowly and rub Roseluck’s belly
>Twilight scribbles it down
>”Next!”
“Who’s paying for all of this Twilight?”
>”Taxpayers.”
“Oh.”
>Roseluck gets off and trots away
>A mint green unicorn jumps onto your lap
>Grunt
>It’s Lyra
>Shudder
>She’s creepy
>Not to the extent that you wrote her in Lyra’s Misery
>But she is obsessed with your hands
>You slowly rub her belly while she gives you the bedroom eyes
>Twilight Sparkle clears her throat
>Lyra realizes that she’s supposed to ask for what she wants
>”Sandy Claws? Can I have hands?”
“I give gifts, not miracles.”
>”Artificial hands?”
>Shudder
>Your own story comes to mind
>Maybe she is as bad as the Lyra in your story
>She tries to suck on your fingers, but Twilight shoos her away
>Who’s next?
>Your eyes widen
>Iron Will stomps over to you
>He sits down on your lap
“Arg! Unf! Oooooow.”
>Deep breath
>Twilight Sparkle prepares her quill
>But he is silent
>”Why is this Santaman not rubbing Iron Will’s hard abs?”
>You rub his abs reluctantly
>He shouts
>”Rub harder!”
>You do so
>”Iron Will would like the entire Beanie Foals plushie collection!”
>Luckily that was all he wanted
>Then he walks off
>Pant a bit
>Your lap is going to be sore for a bit
>Luna flies onto your lap
“Ssssss ow.”
>Sigh
>Wait
“Princess Luna?”
>”Yes! We would like to be part of this modern holiday!”
>”Mr.Claus! We demand a book!”
>Twilight writes it down
“On?”
>Her voice softens
>”Being…’cool’.”
“Okay.”
>She looks at you expectantly
>….
>Rub her belly
>She flies off, extremely giddy
>Who’s next?
>Applebloom approaches
>She smiles 
>Aaaaaw
>You pick her up and set her down on your lap
>You rub her belly gently and tickle her chin
>”Ji- Santa?”
“Yes?”
>She looks at you hopefully
>”Can Jibber come over for Christmas?”
>”That’s all I want.”
“Hohoho….that’s not possible Applebloom.”
>”But it is possible! All he has to do is come over!”
>Damn it
“Look Applebloom I don’t have time for this, I have to stop the snow.”
>”I know how! But you’re too much of a jerk to see it!”
>She hops off your lap
>She’s in tears
“Wait Applebloom!”
>Applebloom gallops off
>Sigh
>She’ll be happy when you get rid of all this snow
>It’ll be fine…
>Afterwards you’re eating with Twilight and Spike in the Library
>Planning out how this will be done
>You’re tired out, that took all day
>Tomorrow is when you’re supposed to deliver these presents
>There’s a knock on the door
>Spike answers it
>Applejack comes in with a bunch of pastries
>”Hey yall. I came as soon as ya asked Twilight.”
>What’s this about?
>Your stomach growls
>Applejack sets down the pastries
>”Eat up Jibber.”
>Thank her and chow down
>Apple pies
>Apple fritter
>Candy apples
>Applesauce
>All delicious
>You notice you’re the only one eating
“Is something wrong?”
>Twilight shakes her head
>”Nothing.”
>Applejack chuckles
>”She’s trying to fatten you up, so you look like Santa Clown.”
“Claus.”
>”Oh heh yeah.”
“I’m not going to get fat that fast, nor do I want to.”
>Get up
>Silly Twilight
“Also don’t cast the beard spell on me either.”
“Goodnight everyone.”
>Leave
>You’ll admit, it felt really manipulative
>And it sort of pissed you off
>Snowflakes are falling quite heavily
>You are mesmerized by them as you walk home
>Along the way you spot Cheerilee
>She’s catching them with her mouth
>You grin
>Ponies look very cute when they do that
>You walk over to her
>She hears you approach 
>The crunching sound from the snow makes it quite loud
“Hey, it’s quite cold out here.”
>”I noticed.”
>She giggles 
>Oh...yeah duh....
>”Come join me Jibber, don’t just sit there.”
>You position yourself beside her
>Open your mouth
>You catch a few flakes with her
>For a few minutes that’s all you do together
>It’s silent and tranquil
>Cheerilee breaks the silence
>”Jibber?”
“Hmmm?”
>”This Santa stuff, it seems unrelated to the thing about Jegus.”
“Jesus”
>She gasps
>”Oh sorry, Jesus.”
“Really Christmas is about family and friends.”
>”Wouldn’t Hearth’s Warming Eve work then?”
“I guess they are similar in that sense, but….well I’m just doing this to appease Twilight. Something is wrong with the weather, and hopefully this will fix it.”
>Shrug
>”Maybe we should sing some carols. Those always bring everyp0ny together. Do they have carols on your world?”
“Yeah of course.”
>”Can you sing me one?”
>She looks genuinely interested
>Nod
>Deep breath
Silent night… Holy night…
All is calm all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace!
Sleep in heavenly peace!
Silent night! Holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah
Christ the Saviour is born!
Christ the Saviour is born!
Silent night! Holy night!
Son of God love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,
>”That was beautiful.”
>Cheerilee is leaning on you
>She gives you a loving smile
>Move away quickly
“Whoa whoa whoa!”
>Smile nervously
“Um sorry you surprised me. I’ll see you tomorrow right?”
>She nods
>”Be safe Jibber.”
“Y-you too.”
>Turn around
>”Hey Jibber?”
“Yes?”
>”Is there such thing as an Mrs.Claus?”
>Oh geez!
>You walk away quickly
>Hiding your massive blush
>Damn it!
>Why did you have to react so awkwardly to that?
>You go to sleep dreaming of your favorite bubble gum pony teacher

>Wake up from loud knocking
>Check the time
>6 AM
>Open the door
>Twilight Sparkle is there
>”Come on Jibber we need to go now!”
“It’s not nighttime yet.”
>”Timezones, Jibber.”
“Right.”
>You follow her to Carousel Boutique
>Rarity made you a complete Santa costume
>For some reason you feel badass wearing it
>Rarity was wearing a weird toucan costume
“Why are you dressed like a toucan?”
>”Jibber I am not a toucan! I am an elf!”
>Whisper to Twilight
“Elves don’t look like that.”
>”Oh….then what do they look like?”
“Humans with pointy ears.”
>”But wouldn’t they just be a different type of human?”
>….
>….
“Nevermind, let’s go.”
>You and Twilight go to the outskirts of town
>As you approach the designated spot your eyes widen
>There’s a huge sled 
>And an equally large bag
>Twilight motions for you to get on the sled
>You take your seat, and Twilight takes hers
>Fluttershy turns her head towards you
>She smiles and it appears she is wearing a pair of fake antlers
>There are also other pegasi 
>Rainbow Dash
>Flitter
>Cloudchaser
>Derpy…?
>Snowflake
>And
>SPITFIRE?!
“Oh my god Spitfire!”
>Spitfire grins
“Can I have your autograph?”
>Spitfire chuckles
>”Get in line.”
>She motions to Rainbow Dash
“Well it’s good to have you all with me.”
>”Jibber, t-try the reins.” 
>You whip them lightly with the reins
>They all look a bit offended
>Except for Fluttershy
>She’s moaning
“Stop Fluttershy, it’s also my fetish.”
>”Oh okay, I’ll remember that later mister.”
“Twilight how are we going to get this off the ground? It’s heavy.”
>Twilight’s horn glows brightly
>”Now everything should weigh less, don’t worry I’ll take care of most of this.”
>That’s a relief
“Alright, now we just need to be able to see in this foggy, stormy, and snowy weather.”
>Derpy calls out
>”Took care of it!”
“You did?”
>She nods and shows you a glowing lightbulb attached to her muzzle
“How did you know about Rudolph?”
>”Who?”
“Erm, let’s just go.”
“Reindeer, are you ready?”
>”Of course.”
>”Always ready!”
>”Sure.”
>”YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!”
>”Uh huh.”
>”Are we leaving now?”
>”Spitfire standing by.”
>The pegasi start running and running
>Then they spread their wings and take flight
>It’s like a more bizarre carriage ride
>Twilight tells you to guide them towards certain houses
>You just drop the presents in the chimney
>It’s actually relaxing
>But Twilight doesn’t seem so relaxed
>”We’re going too slow!”
“What? I thought we’re making great time!”
>”We’re not even halfway done!”
“Alright, uh Spitfire, and Dash speed us up!”
>Dash chuckles
>”I thought you’d never ask!”
>She speeds up along with Spitfire
>A little too fast
>She rainboom’d
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
>You would be concerned about the bag falling out
>Or possibly dying from too much g-force 
>But right now you’re just terrified
>Luckily you didn’t miss any houses along the way
>You don’t want this sled making too many sharp turns
>Many hours later……..
>You vomit from the side of the sled
>It’s one hour before midnight
>This was a long day
>And all the reindeer…erm pegasi are tired
“H-how many presents are left?”
>”Just a few more, and then back to Ponyville we go!”
>”But we need to not waste any time! It’s almost midnight!”
>You nod
>Then it’s Christmas Day, or Hearth’s Warming Day
>Your sled lands on Canterlot Castle
“There’s no chimney….”
>Luna is beside you
“Oh here you go.”
>Give it to her
>She begins to read through her book
>”It seems we have much to learn to become ‘cool’.”
>You jump back into the sled
“40 minutes! Who’s next?”
>”The diamond dogs!”
>Really?
>Oh right, you remember them sitting on your lap
>They had fleas
>Ugh
>You fly the sled over to the quarry
>Dump a bunch of bones into the holes
>”20 minutes!”
“Who’s left?”
>”Zecora!”
>It seems like an eternity when you finally arrive over her hut
>Drop a ….
>Bong(?) 
>Unwrap gift
>It’s an oil lantern
>Oooooh
>Well now that it’s delivered, you hop onto the sled again
>You have the sled rush out of the Everfree Forest
>There’s the designated landing area
>By Town Hall
>There will be a crowd waiting to greet you
>Twiligt looks giddy
>”We did it Jibber! We did it!”
>You nod
>The sled comes in for a landing
>The “reindeer” land and all of them collapse in exhaustion
>You strike a pose 
“Well the snow is gone! Merry Christmas everyone!”
>Smile
>No one is cheering
>Look upwards
>The snowstorm is still raging as strong as ever
>Your heart sinks
>That was all for nothing?
>Twilight Sparkle looks mortified
>”But we succeeded! We had a Christmas in Equestria.”
>All the ponies are shivering
>One of the crowd calls out
>”This Christmouse thing was a waste of time!”
>A few boo at you, and throw things
>There’s arguing among the crowd
>But there’s one calm and clear voice
>”Silent Night….”
>Cheerilee?
>”Holy night.”
>”All is calm all is bright.”
>Twilight joins her
>”Round yon virgin mother and child”
>Applebloom is singing too?
>She and her family came to watch
>They join in with her
>”Holy infant so tender and mild.”
>The crowd begins to sing as well
>They’re all quite good at singing
>”Sleep in heavenly peace!”
>”Sleep in heavenly peace!”
>”Silent night! Holy night!”
>”Shepherds quake at the sight”
>You join in
Glories stream from heaven afar
>”Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah”
Christ the Saviour is born!
>”Christ the Saviour is born!”
Silent night! Holy night!
>”Son of God love's pure light”
>”Radiant beams from thy holy face”
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
>”Jesus, Lord at thy birth,”
Jesus, Lord at thy birth,
>There’s a bright light 
>A large flaming heart appears above you all
>Everyone applauds
>You rush over to Cheerilee
“Thanks for that.”
>”No problem Jibber.”
“I guess we were missing the point.”
>Shrug at Twilight
“I’ve been missing the point…..both holidays, they’re about friends and family.”
>”And lovers…”
>You grin
>Your lips meet and  brush across each other
>You kiss her for a few moments
>Until Applebloom pokes your leg
>You pick her up
“All this time I’ve been neglecting my family. I’m sorry Applebloom.”
>You set her down
>And hug her
>She hugs you back
>”It’s a wish come true.”
>The snow stops falling
>The wind stops howling
>The sky clears up
>Everyone cheers, and then looks at your hug with Applebloom
>Many d’aaaaw
>One by one, ponies join the hug
“Merry Christmas Applebloom.”
>”Happy Hearth’s Warming, Jibber.”
>Tonight was a good night
>END

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