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Vault Hunter

By: Domino_anon on Apr 1st, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 1.97 KB  |  hits: 62  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day Vaults in Equestria
  2. >You are Anon, Gunzerker extraordinaire
  3. >Rise and shine, sweetheart
  4. >You go through your morning routine of the triple S
  5. >God damn, you should change things up once in a while
  6. >You go downstairs and pour a bowl of Zer-O's the breakfast of Vault Hunters and Slashers everywhere
  7. >As you eat, you question if it was worth it to come here
  8. >Of course it was worth it. You not only got away from Hyperion, but away from -him- too
  9. >You shudder at the mere thought of Claptrap
  10. >You finish eating, a rare occasion, and hear a knock on your door
  11. "Let's get this over with." you grumble to yourself
  12. >You open your door only to see...
  13. >Say it with me,
  14. >Fluttershy
  15. >...you didn't say it.
  16. "What is it today, Flutterbutt?" you ask, mustering all the disinterest you have
  17. >"W-well Anon, I found th-this thing a-and I thought it might be your fetish." she motions to a crate behind her
  18. >You raise an eyebrow expectantly
  19. "Well? What is it?" you ask
  20. >"Oh w-well I was hoping you could open it." she mumbles and hides behind her mane, embarrassed to
  21. >You furrow your brow
  22. "God that's cute" you whisper to yourself
  23. >You go inside your house and return with a crowbar that would make Freeman cream his panties
  24. >You grunt as you pry open the crate, revealing its contents
  25. >You step back and pull out your trusty shotgun when the packing peanuts start to rumble
  26. >The peanuts explode into the air and what jumps out of the box makes your heart stop
  27. >"MINION! I've been looking everywhere for you!" the metallic voice instantly gives you a skull-splitting headache
  28. >Your pupils shrink to pinpricks at the sight of the blasted CL4P-TP
  29. "Oh god no..." you whisper
  30. >Fluttershy looks up at you
  31. >"So is it your fetish Anon?" she asks
  32. >You take the shotgun and place the barrel against your chin
  33. >You know exactly what you want your last words to be
  34. "No tears now, only dreams."
  35. >Grey matter and skull fragments splatter against the wall of your house
  36. >All because of
  37. >Fucking Claptrap
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