Three Dog

>Day Radio in Equestria

>You are Anon

>Wake up and stare at your ceiling, deep in thought

"I wonder what the Beastie Boys are up to right now...probably something awesome."

>You never got the news that MCA is dead

>Get out of bed and turn on your radio as you go through your morning routine

>Equestrian music sucks, but the talk shows are worth listening to it

>You suffer through the end of a song and smile when you hear the DJ's voice

>"Cause one dog ain't enough and two is too low, it’s me, Three Dog! Comin' to ya loud and proud from my fortified bunker in the middle of the Canterlot Castle."

>You prepare a cup of coffee as you listen

>"Listen up kiddies, cause I got a bit of news. I've been getting more and reports of this human, Anonymous, down in Ponyville."

>Wait, what?

>"From what I keep hearing, there's this sweet, little pegasus who loves the guy to death. The problem is, he just won't give her a chance."

"I'm not a damn horse-fucker"

>You mumble as you drink

>"So Anonymous, if you're listening I got a question for ya."

>You take a sip and listen close

>"Are God-tier radio hosts your fetish?"

>You spit out the drink and cough

>A knock on your door interrupts your choking and you notice your raging erection

>You fling open the door to find a smiling Flutterhy

>"Well? Are they?"

>You try to hide your Tunnel Snake, but you fail miserably

"Of course not. What makes you think that?"

>Her eyes trail down to your crotch and she licks her lips

>You both pause, waiting for the other to make the first move

>...

>She leaps into the air and you slam the door in her face

>It took all of your willpower to deny Three Dog, but you went another day without

>Fucking Fluttershy