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Magic Conch

By: Domino_anon on May 1st, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 1.97 KB  |  hits: 85  |  expires: Never
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  1. For your listening pleasure, Baratone has provided this: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0N3vTdlfHsD
  2.  
  3. >Day Advice in Equestria
  4. >You are Anon
  5. >Wake up and reach to your nightstand, grabbing the object that sits on it
  6. >The only thing brought with you to this magic technicolor world
  7. >The Magic Conch
  8. >You pull the string and ask it a question
  9. "Magic Conch, should I do my morning routine today?"
  10. >"...yes."
  11. >You do a it says and commence the morning routine
  12. >Shit, shower, and shave then go to your closet to pick your outfit
  13. "Magic Conch, should I wear my black suit today?"
  14. >You pull the string and wait
  15. >"...no."
  16. >You pull the string again
  17. "What about my white suit?"
  18. >"...no."
  19. >After three more outfits, you start to get frustrated
  20. "Should I wear any clothes today?!"
  21. >...
  22. >"No."
  23. >Well, the Magic Conch doesn't want you to wear clothes
  24. >It's probably for the best
  25. >You go downstairs and consult with the Conch about breakfast
  26. "Magic Conch, what should I have for breakfast?"
  27. >"...nothing."
  28. >Damn, you were hungry too
  29. >There's a knock on your door
  30. >You open it and Fluttershy's eyes widen when she notices your lack of clothes
  31. "What is it today, Fluttershy?"
  32. >Your voice draws her attention upwards, but it drifts back down
  33. >"Is g-group sex your fetish?"
  34. >As she says this, you notice the rest of the mane six behind her
  35. "I dunno, hold on."
  36. >You pull the string on the Magic Conch
  37. >"...no."
  38. >You look to Fluttershy and shrug
  39. "Magic Conch, should I have group sex anyways?"
  40. >You pull the string and everybody leans in, listening closely
  41. >"...yes."
  42. >Everybody cheers and Fluttershy darts up to pull the string again
  43. >"A-am I allowed to join?"
  44. >You all go silent
  45. >"...maybe someday."
  46. >Fluttershy smiles and pulls the string again
  47. >"What about today?"
  48. >Another moment of silence
  49. >"...no."
  50. "Sorry Flutters, but the Conch has spoken."
  51. >Everybody files inside as she flies away, cursing the Magic Conch
  52. >And that's the tale of how the Magic Conch saved you from
  53. >Fucking Fluttershy
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