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Democracy

By: Domino_anon on Mar 6th, 2013  |  syntax: None  |  size: 2.32 KB  |  hits: 111  |  expires: Never
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  1. >Day "Democracy" in Equestria
  2. >You are Anon, the only American in this god-forsaken universe
  3. >You wake up and commence your morning routine
  4. >Shit, shower, shave
  5. >After shaving, you head downstairs and admire your most recent project
  6. >For the last few weeks, you've been buying knitting supplies from Rarity
  7. >And all those "bits" were well spent
  8. >You stand in front of your, now completed, American flag. The first in Equestria
  9. >You don your Navy dress blues and march out the door, flag neatly folded in your hands
  10. >As you approach the flag pole you constructed, you imagine this is how Buzz Aldrin felt, being the first man to raise the flag on a different planet
  11. >The flag reaches the peak of the pole, and you salute
  12. Damn, if that ain't beautiful, I don't know what is.
  13. >The sun peaks over the horizon and a tear streaks down your face from the sheer patriotism of it
  14. >You notice the yellow menace trotting towards your house
  15. >You decide to save her the trouble of knocking and approach her
  16. >"Good morning Anon! What's that?" she asks, staring at your flag
  17. >You scowl as if she just called French fries "chips"
  18. That, my dear Fluttershy, is the symbol of democracy. The ultimate sign of freedom.
  19. >You spend the next hour explaining the wonders of American democracy
  20. >You finish and notice that the rest of the mane 6 have gathered around for story time
  21. >Twilight speaks up "Well Anon, that's all well and good, but we don't have democracy here."
  22. >You stare her in the eyes and kneel down to her level
  23. >Your face inches from hers, you whisper
  24. I'm going to change that.
  25. >Flight of the Valkyries starts to play from unseen speakers
  26. >Dozens of helicopters descend from above the clouds
  27. >The doors of the first one open to reveal the pilots as Ronald Reagan and Hulk Hogan
  28. >You wave your hand at the technological marvel
  29. This is the power of democracy!
  30. >You jump in the helicopter
  31. Next stop, Canterlot!
  32. >You rise into the air as the p0nies below stare with dropped jaws
  33. >You, Reagan, Hogan, and the U.S. Military proceeded to overthrow Celestia with your superior military technology
  34. >They surrendered immediately after your "display of power"
  35. >You really just nuked the changeling hive
  36. >From that day on, an American flag flew over Canterlot.
  37. >You sigh contentedly as you sit on Celestia's throne
  38. Damn it feels good to be American.
  39.  
  40. End
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