- >Day Miners in Equestria
- >You are Anon, Human Extraordinaire
- >You are awoken by a stream of sunlight assaulting you through your window
- >You groggily rise from your bed, eyes welded shut by sleep
- >You rise from your bed and shuffle to the bathroom to commence your morning routine
- >Shit, shower, but don't shave
- >Your stubble is the key to your gruff appearance
- >You go to the kitchen and pour a bowl of cereal, expecting your morning visitor
- >Your breakfast goes uninterrupted
- >Strange, Fluttershy usually knocks in the middle of your meal
- >You grab your hard-hat and pickaxe as you approach your front door
- >You stop dead in your tracks when you glance out the window
- >A green abomination, standing on four pointed legs and with a monstrous frown stands outside your door
- >You remain silent, until you hear the sound every miner dreads
- >"Ssssss-"
- >Your pupils shrink to pinpricks
- Mother of god...
- >Your front door and the surrounding wall are blown out of existence
- >The blast sends you clear across the room, slamming you into the back wall and dazing you
- >You slump against the wall and your vision settles
- >You definitely had some broken ribs, and possibly other broken bones
- >What used to be your door is now a gaping hole in the wall
- >A figure stands in the opening, silhouetted by the morning sun and dust from the explosion
- >As the dust settles and the figure approaches you, your dread doubles
- >Fluttershy slowly saunters up to you, followed by more of the volatile abominations
- >You look to your right, where your trusty pickaxe lies
- >You cough up blood as you reach for it in a desperate attempt to defend yourself
- >A claw knocks it away, and you are pulled up to face Fluttershy
- >"No more games Anon." threatens the yellow rapist
- >"Either you have sex with me, or my friends here will blow you, and all your hard work, out of existence."
- >Oh shit, she's serious
- >But you're no horsefucker, and you've got a trick up your sleeve
- >You spit blood at her
- "Bring it on, you yellow bitch."
- >She wipes away the blood and sneers at you
- >"So be it. I didn't want it to end like this, but I'm tired of the games, Anon."
- >She turns to her accomplices
- >"Do it. When he's dead, blow the rest of the house."
- >As she walks away, you laugh
- >You were in immense pain, but the sweet release was nearly here
- >One of the green demons stands in front of you and looks down on you
- >An expression crosses it's face before it starts to hiss. Was it sympathy? Fear?
- >Well, looks like the bastards have hearts
- >A loud bang is the last thing you hear, as a searing pain tears through you
- >You are Fluttershy
- >You stand outside Anon's house as another explosion shakes the ground
- >You really wish it didn't have to come to this, but you don't make empty threats
- >Any second now, the house behind you would be blown to pieces
- >A series of explosions goes off and you turn to examine your handiwork
- >The dust is blown away and the house's supports crumble to the ground
- >But something is wrong
- >A single room still stands, seemingly untouched by the blast
- >You stomp over to it, angry at the 'creepers' for not completing the job
- >The outside walls of the room are a slick black glass, only scratched by the explosion
- >You freeze in place as a metal door creaks open and a human, coated in diamond, steps through the frame
- >You are Anon
- >Goddammit, that hurts like a bitch every time
- >You awake in your bed and you sit up, listening for the telltale hissing
- >A series of blasts shakes the walls of your obsidian-coated room
- >Just as you'd planned
- >Sure, you had your doubts about the existence of creepers in this world, but better safe than sorry
- >You step out of bed for the second time today, and open the chest beside your bed
- >You pull out the diamond crafted chest plate and admire it
- >It took a lot of convincing and bargaining to get the diamonds needed to make the armor, but it was worth it
- >Who are you kidding, you fucked Rarity and she gave them to you, ya damn horse-fucker
- >Be that as it may, you loved every second of it
- >You don the diamond armor, sans helmet, and go to the iron door of your bedroom
- >You open it and are greeted by the devastation that was once your house
- >You barely catch a glimpse of your previous body disappearing in a puff of smoke
- >You look to your right and see Fluttershy, frozen mid-trot
- >You stride up to her and a devious smile creeps onto your face
- "You can't kill me, Flutterbitch."
- >You continue your stride, heading into town
- >Your house was blown apart by
- >Fucking creepers
- >You easily managed to outsmart
- >Fucking Fluttershy
- >And soon, you would be
- >Fucking Rarity
- >Good end
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