Contest

>Day Drunk in Equestria

>You are Anon

>You sit in the only bar in Ponyville, The Cider Barrel

>Named so because the only alcohol in this world was cider

>Well, except for the bottle of Everclear that was brought here with you

>You gave it to the only pony you trusted to take care of it, your best friend in this magical world

>The bartender, Berry Punch

>All the ponies in this world were lightweight drinkers, but not Berry

>Anyways, back to the story

>Berry leans against the bar as she talks to you

>"I don't see why you won't give her a chance, she's a great mare."

>You belch and set down your mug of cider

"Actually, I did give her a chance. Worst relationship ever. She was clingy, obsessive, and crazy as all Hell."

>You finish your cider and set the mug upside down on the bar

"And she couldn't drink to save her life."

>Berry grabs the mug and smirks

>"I wouldn't be so sure, Anon."

>You narrow your eyes at her

"Berry, what did you d—"

>You're interrupted when someone taps on your shoulder

>You turn around and come face to face with Fluttershy

>"Anon, I c-came to outdrink you. I-if that's okay with you."

>You, along with all the ponies in the bar, burst into hardy laughter

>You stop laughing and stand, towering over Fluttershy

"Outdrink me? Flutters, nobody can outdrink me!"

"I partied with the craziest of fratboys! I drank with the hardiest of Russians! The Irish think I need to slow down!"

>You stop boasting and crouch down to eye level with Fluttershy

"What makes you think you can hold your own against me?"

>"W-well, I was t-trained by Berry Punch."

>Your eyes narrow and you slowly turn around, staring daggers at Berry

"You traitorous bitch."

>She shrugs

>"I thought it might be fun to watch. Besides, the only way to your heart is with booze."

>You snap your fingers and three stallions drag a table and two chairs in front of the bar

>You sit in one of the chairs and the yellow mare sits across from you

"Alright Flutters, I accept your challenge. What are the stakes."

>She mumbles something unintelligible and Berry speaks up

>"If you win, she promises to leave you alone forever and you'll get free drinks for a year. If she wins, you'll have to rut her whenever she wants and I get that special booze you brought with you."

>Mugs of cider are set in front of you and Fluttershy

>Berry rings a small bell and the game begins

 

-Many hours later-

>Countless empty mugs cover the table and are strewn across the floor

>The entire town has crowded into the bar, eager to witness the legendary showdown

>Both you and Fluttershy have consumed enough alcohol to kill a lesser man

>Your thought process is FUBAR

>Both of you finish your mugs and drop them on the floor

>Fluttershy sways in her seat as she mumbles something

>It's slurred beyond understanding, but your drunk mind somehow deciphers it

>"I'm done."

>She face-plants into the table, sending the empty mugs to the floor

>You stand, knocking your chair back, and raise your fists into the air

"Yesh! Ah nevuh loosh!"

>The crowd of ponies cheers and applauds at your victory

>Your celebration is cut short as you start to black out

 

>You are awoken by thundering, rhythmic pain assaulting your head

>Ok Anon, you're in a bed, you're hungover, and you drank enough to kill a man

>This pain is unbearable, what the fuck is it?

>You groan when you realize that your own heartbeat is painful to listen to

>"Look who's finally awake. Starting to regret drinking that much?"

>The sound of her voice sends more waves of pain through your head

>You groan in response and she chuckles

>"Alright, do it Twilight."

>The sound of magic is heard and a wave of relief washes over you

"Oh god that feels SO much better!"

>Twilight giggles

>"A sobering spell can come in handy when dealing with a drunk like you, Anon."

>She teleports away, leaving you alone with Berry

>You open your eyes and look at her

>"Anon, I've never seen anybody drink that much. I think you deserve a prize."

>She gives you the bedroom eyes and crawls onto the bed with you

>And that's the story of how drinking lethal amounts of alcohol ended up with you

>Fucking Berry Punch

 

End